“You want to use that? That’s just too… much.”
The Jade-Faced Fox, Xiao Hanyi, felt that today was truly the worst day of his life.
His three-hundred-and-somethingth girlfriend—he had long since lost track of the exact number—was Demon Lord Ninglu. She claimed to have a business deal to handle, a major matter in Wei City that required her personal attention.
Xiao Hanyi, determined to uphold his image as a gentle and considerate gentleman, had decided to risk his life accompanying the beauty. Braving the possibility that more than three hundred former girlfriends might recognize him, he had even given his handsome face a little cosmetic touch-up. Then, he happily set off with Ninglu.
Unfortunately, Ninglu had grand ambitions. The moment they entered the city, she announced that she had “serious business” to attend to. Apart from taking him to the Flower Child Temple and leaving a few flirtatious verses among the love blossoms, she vanished like morning dew beneath the sun.
Xiao Hanyi could never do without a woman at his side—nor without a passionate nightlife. After spending two nights alone in an empty room, tossing and turning in a lonely bed, his old habits finally returned. He decided to resume his former profession: while Ninglu was too busy to keep an eye on him, he would go out, find a few pretty girls, and enjoy himself. Perhaps he could cultivate another fleeting romance of “we share affection in drunkenness, then go our separate ways when sober.”
The first girl he set his sights on was no more than twenty years old. Her features were as delicately carved as a jade statue, her expression pure and lovely, her eyes clear and limpid. At a glance, she seemed innocent, naïve, and easy to deceive…
In short, no matter how he looked at it, she ought to have been an easy catch.
So…
How had things ended up like this???
“Young Master Xiao, don’t move.”
“If you do, my hand might slip, and I may accidentally open another hole in you.”
The “innocent and naïve” eighteen-year-old beauty, herself as lovely as a flower, now stood beside Xiao Hanyi with one foot planted firmly on his slender back. She held a sword in one hand, its scabbard pressed right against the buttocks he had nearly been crushed into four pieces—and it kept circling dangerously around a certain vital spot.
Naturally, that sword was not Guguang. Guguang had refused.
Xiao Hanyi had spent centuries roaming the pleasure quarters. He had sailed on far too many boats, so of course he occasionally capsized. Every now and then, he encountered an overzealous female demon who would cradle his prized possession and murmur with a sweet smile, “This thing… I both love and hate it. I really want to bite it right off…”
Xiao Hanyi had always remained perfectly calm in such situations. He could even chat and laugh with his companion while discussing whether that thing would taste better boiled or deep-fried.
Because he was absolutely certain she would never actually do it.
As for his technique… no, his charm—after centuries of wandering through flower beds and seducing women, Xiao Hanyi had always been exceedingly confident in it.
That was why he could never have imagined that one day he would be trampled into the ground like some giant turtle demon—first mauled by dogs, then stomped by rhinos, then prodded by a young woman with something long and hard—while a chill ran through his backside again and again. One careless move, and he might end up with his “chrysanthemum shattered, petals scattered across the ground.”
His usual warm and elegant smile had begun to turn yellow around the edges. “Th-this immortal maiden… might there perhaps be some misunderstanding…”
“Xiao Hanyi. Young Master Xiao.”
Shu Fu repeated his name calmly. “I haven’t mistaken you for someone else, have I?”
Xiao Hanyi did not dare conceal anything. He could only honestly admit, “That is indeed me. Immortal maiden, this is our first meeting, is it not?”
What he really meant was: You haven’t been abandoned by me before, have you?
He could no longer remember what his first hundred girlfriends had looked like.
But Shu Fu was strikingly beautiful. If he had met her before—or, more accurately, courted her—he ought not to have forgotten her completely.
If she was not an ex-girlfriend, then perhaps she was the younger sister or best friend of one. Could she be the long-lost daughter he had abandoned years ago?!!
Xiao Hanyi’s eyes darted about as his mind ran wild, instantly imagining seventeen or eighteen melodramatic tales of pregnancy, abandonment, and a child raised alone.
“I’ve never met you before, but he has.”
Shu Fu did not bother with roundabout explanations. She reached into her sleeve and pulled out the laughing Lich King, then held him straight out in front of Xiao Hanyi.
“Wushan Cloud Jiao. Do you still remember him, Young Master Xiao?”
“…”
Xiao Hanyi’s fake smile froze on his face.
Of course he remembered.
Wu Yao’s second Dao companion possessed beauty capable of toppling kingdoms. Even by Xiao Hanyi’s standards, she was an incomparable beauty.
After successfully seducing her, he had congratulated himself for quite some time.
Moreover, Wu Yao had loved and cherished his former wife deeply. Even after losing her, he had done nothing but grit his teeth, hold back his tears, and wish her happiness. For fear of upsetting her, he had even held back from killing Xiao Hanyi, throwing the rat-catcher into a dilemma and further emboldening the shameless third party.
But old dogs could not change their ways, and a lustful fox could not stop being a flirt.
After spending some time living in bliss with Wu Yao’s former wife, enjoying a life of mutual devotion and shared affection, Xiao Hanyi soon grew bored. Once again, he quietly set out on his third leg in search of new prey.
Shu Fu: I have never heard anything so revolting in my life.jpg
“Cheer up, fox.”
The Lich King coiled around Shu Fu’s palm. His gaze was cold as he slowly flicked out a length of bright-red forked tongue.
“Right now, this is merely a fragment of my divine consciousness, so I have no way to grind you into dust.”
Xiao Hanyi had just breathed a sigh of relief when Wu Yao continued ominously, “Still, I am quite pleased. Because I know this little girl’s methods will be far more ruthless than you can imagine.”
Xiao Hanyi: “…”
Shu Fu: “Lich King, don’t frighten him. What if you scare him witless? How are we supposed to question him then?”
Xiao Hanyi managed a difficult smile, though it came out crooked and pitiful, with his nose askew and his eyes uneven. “Immortal maiden, what is it you wish to ask? So long as I know the answer, I will tell you everything.”
【This is not a suitable place. Take him back. I’ll send a message to Liu Ruyi and have him meet us at the inn… Of course, after losing the chance to show off in front of us, I doubt he’ll be very happy.】
Jiang Xuesheng reminded them of this while casting a wary glance at Ling Xiyue.
【Even if we find out something, we cannot let anyone from Skyreach City hear it.】
He had not spoken the words aloud, but Ling Xiyue noticed Shu Fu’s gaze. He immediately responded with an ambiguous smile.
“Miss Jiang, it seems today’s outing should come to an end.”
“…”
Shu Fu raised an eyebrow. “My apologies, Young Master Ling. Senior Brother and I were enjoying ourselves so much that we nearly forgot you were still here.”
Ling Xiyue: “…”
Before he could darken his expression, Shu Fu continued, “As the saying goes, ‘A straightforward person does not speak in riddles.’ I may as well be frank with you. Second Young Master Ling, I have no feelings for you. I agreed to meet you today only because I wanted to learn about Ling Fengqing’s plan to attack Wei City. The lives of hundreds of thousands of people are at stake.”
“Young Master Ling, you may decide for yourself whether you wish to tell me.”
“If you do, I will thank you on behalf of the common people—but the possibility of anything between us will not increase. If you refuse, it will not decrease either. That number has always been zero. For the past three years, it has never changed.”
Shu Fu’s expression remained calm. There was neither the disdain of a lofty beauty toward her pursuer nor the unease of someone rejecting another’s feelings.
“On that clear understanding, Young Master Ling, I await your answer.”
She made a gesture. “Please.”
Ling Xiyue was silent for a long while before forcing out a bitter smile. “Miss Jiang, you really didn’t have to make things so clear. Since you already knew how I felt, you could have humored me with a few words and first coaxed the information out of me…”
“I know. But I don’t care to use people. Matters of the heart are complicated enough as it is. I’d rather be clear about them.”
Shu Fu smiled as well, though her smile was just as bland and detached. Even the most hopelessly self-deluded person could see the distance in it. “Young Master Ling, I know I can’t repay your feelings. Better not to owe you anything from the very beginning.”
Ling Xiyue sighed.
There were plenty of second male leads who loved deeply and met tragic ends. But as for someone who wanted to be the second male lead and couldn’t even manage that… who else could there be besides him?
Pom sighed too.
He felt that his master was going to spend his whole life hanging himself from a single tree. What was worse, he had tied the noose around his own neck and was desperately stretching up on tiptoe to reach the tree.
—Perhaps he should start thinking about changing masters?
To be honest, Pom felt his chances of clinging to Shu Fu’s tree were actually a little better than Ling Xiyue’s.
Such was the fickleness of the world. Even a dog had a better lot than a man.
…
In the end, Ling Xiyue selected the important points and discreetly revealed to Shu Fu that Ling Fengqing had made a secretive trip to Wei City. He did not tell her everything; after all, he still had other plans.
This seemingly modest and self-restrained young man had always harbored a small ambition to contend for dominion over the world.
He liked Shu Fu, but he also liked the view from the heights—“I shall ascend the highest peak and see all mountains below me”—and he had never given up on reaching it.
It was almost as if only that could make up for the hardships he had endured in his youth.
Conversely, so long as he refused to give up, Shu Fu and he would remain people who “walked different paths and could not make common cause.”
“So Ling Fengqing really did prepare for both possibilities. Not only is he worshiping the vengeful ghost at the Flower Child Temple, he has also recruited He Xiuwen and Ninglu as allies, intending to use them to attack Wei City and force its lord to bow his head. As for when they plan to strike and how they intend to arrange it, Ling Xiyue doesn’t know either.”
The inn room was brightly lit. Shu Fu sat cross-legged on the bed, speaking to Jiang Xuesheng, who was coiled around the branches of a flower in a vase nearby.
The flowers in the vase had already been changed from roses to peach blossoms. The snow-white snake winding through their brilliant color made for a pleasing sight, their beauty complementing each other.
Jiang Xuesheng inclined his head. “Correct. Though there’s nothing particularly original about it; it merely confirms my suspicions. Ling Fengqing is ultimately wary of this younger brother and would never tell him everything.”
“Ling Fengqing is wary of Ling Xiyue, and Ling Xiyue is wary of us.”
Shu Fu plucked a peach blossom and idly twisted its petals between her fingers. “If the Jiuhua Sect were to crush Lingxiao City in one fell swoop, that wouldn’t be good for him. What comes next? Where do we begin?”
Jiang Xuesheng circled halfway around the branch, the tip of his tail raised as he answered unhurriedly, “You must have a plan, Fu’er.”
Shu Fu rolled her eyes at him. “Then what do I need you for?”
In any other sect, such an attitude would have been an outrageous act of disrespect toward one’s senior—an offense worthy of being sent straight to confinement.
But her master was Jiang Xuesheng, and he greatly appreciated her insolence. “If you can’t think of anything, I’ll naturally fill in the gaps. If I don’t let you think for yourself, I’ll only end up harming you.”
“So you’re being lazy, and I’m supposed to thank you for it?”
Shu Fu nearly laughed from exasperation. She reached out and snatched up the white snake, kneading and playing with it in her palm as though she were rolling out dough. “You really are a wonderful master, aren’t you, sir?”
“Wait, Fu’er. A strand of my spiritual consciousness is attached to this snake, and we share its five senses. Don’t be too—”
Jiang Xuesheng’s speech sped up by a rare fraction, but before he could finish, his voice abruptly cut off as if someone had pressed a pause button. The entire snake froze stiff on the spot.
“…Sir?”
Shu Fu assumed she had hurt him and was suddenly at a loss. “Are you all right? Did I squeeze somewhere painful?”
“………………”
Jiang Xuesheng drew one long, long, long, long breath. It seemed to make three full turns in his chest—or where his chest would have been, if snakes had chests—before he slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly exhaled.
Only after he had finished breathing out did his tone barely return to normal. “It’s nothing. Go on.”
“Oh.”
Seeing how composed he was, Shu Fu did not think much of it. She leaned back against her raised knees and placed the white snake across her lap.
She continued discussing serious matters, but her hands could not remain idle. Every so often, she would rub the snake’s head with a fingertip or pinch and roll its tail between her fingers.
Jiang Xuesheng said, “Fu’er, stop.”
Shu Fu said, “Oh.”
Apart from the cultivators of Wei City, their own side currently consisted of Shu Fu, Liu Ruyi, Si Fei, and one white snake that could transform into Jiang Xuesheng—in total, three and a half people.
Princess Zhaoyun claimed to have other business to attend to, but no one knew where she had wandered off to, so she could not be counted for the time being.
As for the Lich King, in Jiang Xuesheng’s words, he was merely an extra. His primary function was to serve as an encyclopedia of the demon realm.
“Ling Fengqing’s actions are being monitored by Wei City. The lord of Wei City and his daughter are stationed there, and all the city’s cultivators will do their best to protect the people. We don’t need to worry about that for now.”
Since Jiang Xuesheng refused to let her keep stroking the snake, Shu Fu had no choice but to snap off a short peach branch and wave it haphazardly through the air.
“He Xiuwen is ambitious but not very capable. His only advantages are that he has plenty of money, plenty of people, and plenty of escape routes. That’s why he hasn’t been wiped out yet. His subordinates must already have infiltrated Wei City. The Lich King has plenty of experience; why not ask him to stay in the city and investigate? He can mark everyone he finds, and afterward I’ll slaughter the whole lot of them.”
“And there’s the vengeful ghost causing trouble. Though we rescued one child and destroyed the Flower Child Temple, we still can’t let down our guard. I think we should ask Third Senior Brother to make a round of the city and investigate the legend of the ‘Flower Child,’ to see whether he can uncover any clues.”
“And then there’s Demon Lord Ninglu.”
At that point, she clicked her tongue in disgust. “Xiao Hanyi says he doesn’t know where she is or what she’s planning. He’s an absolute waste of space. Incredible.”
Shu Fu frowned and pondered for a moment. Then she tapped the peach branch lightly against the edge of the bed. “I’ve got it. I’ll deal with her. Of course, I’ll need Senior Brother Liu to lend me a hand.”
“Oh?”
Jiang Xuesheng was not surprised in the least. He merely lifted his head, his gaze flickering. “Tell me the details.”
Shu Fu’s plan was actually very simple.
She was never cut out for scheming and maneuvering. Whenever a problem could be solved with a straightforward punch, she could not be bothered to put on even the pretense of a feint.
Thus, this time her plan could be summed up in a single sentence:
—Let Xiao Hanyi go.
More precisely, they would pretend to let Xiao Hanyi go, then follow him in secret and have him lead them to Demon Lord Ninglu.
Of course, although Xiao Hanyi was a fox-shaped walking artillery platform, he did possess some experience in the martial world. Being too proactive would only arouse his suspicions. If they wanted to lure him into the trap, the best approach was not to compete with him in acting, but to give him free rein to put on his own performance.
…
Indeed, just as Shu Fu and Jiang Xuesheng had hit it off and finalized their plan to fish for trouble, Xiao Hanyi—his meridians sealed and his cultivation locked away, confined in another room—was likewise racking his brains for a way to escape.
He secretly thought that the Lich King hated him to the bone and clearly had no intention of showing mercy again. If he wanted to escape with his life, he would have to start with either that bewildered-looking young merman or the pretty girl in the prime of her youth.
Come to think of it, appearances could be deceiving when it came to this fresh-faced young lady. Her temper was remarkably fierce, and at the slightest provocation she threatened to make flowers bloom in people's backsides. Xiao Hanyi found her more than a little difficult to handle. With just a handsome face and a silver tongue, he feared it would be hard to bring her around.
But there was one thing he was certain he hadn't misjudged.
“…Just look at her. Anyone can see she's a little virgin, so she probably has no idea what it's like. If that's the case, things will be much easier.”
Murmuring softly to himself, Xiao Hanyi put on what he believed was an utterly seductive smile—though in reality, it was greasy enough to scrape three pounds of oil from a pan—and reached into the hidden pouch at his waist. From it, he took a small begonia-colored medicine bottle.
