Have you ever seen a villain who dies the moment he shows up?
Ling Xiyue knows that Jiang Ruoshui — no, Shu Fu doesn't like him.
And that's perfectly reasonable. From the very start, he never really let himself hope for that.
Qi Yuxuan is a fool, but it's a good thing he's a fool. Dumb as he is, he's never managed to pull off any real evil, no record of murder, arson, or heinous crimes at worst he's just a mediocre man who can't tell right from wrong.
But Ling Xiyue himself is a different story.
He was bright from childhood, picking up every skill faster than his older brother. Back when he was naive and unguarded, he didn't know to hide his talents to protect himself, so before he even turned ten, his older brother grew jealous of him, and sold him off to the black market, where he experienced every bit of suffering the world had to offer. He barely managed to escape, but lost the precious Yuangchu bloodline he'd relied on to get by. After that, his father acted like he didn't even exist.
With the exception of Elder Huayue, the rest of the Lingxiao Sect disciples all fawned over the powerful and looked down on the weak, currying favor with the upper ranks and bullying the lower, so none of them paid him any mind at all.
He knew that as long as his father and his older brother were still around, his whole life would be over. At his very best, he'd just be a dog for Lingxiao City, never living a meaningful life, never even living as a proper human.
To survive, to hold onto a place for himself in Lingxiao City, and wait for the chance to turn the tables, all these years he'd poured all his effort into planning for his father and his brother, working himself to the bone for the Lingxiao City estate. Sometimes he got so into the act, he even thought he was a most filial son.
If Lingxiao City was a vat of dye, he himself could never come out clean.
In the past, he always told himself he "had no other choice."
It wasn't until he met Shu Fu that he started to understand there was nothing in this world that truly left you with "no other choice."
At the very least, he could never say with a straight face in front of her that he "had no choice but to do evil" or "had no choice but to kill."
He liked Shu Fu, and it wasn't for any particular complicated reason. It was just that the resentment that had been building up inside him for years, only ever got to pour out completely and freely when he was with her.
She didn't live elegantly, didn't fuss over the finer things in life, wasn't as polished as his older brother who kept even his hair and fingernails perfect — but she was a proper, upright "human" in every sense of the word. The two strokes of the character for "person" were solid, her two feet planted firm on the ground, her back straight and her spine unbowed. When you looked at her from behind, she was the very image of the legendary figure who stands tall, holding up the sky.
He loved how she feared nothing, roaming freely for thirty thousand miles with no one to answer to, never having to bow to anyone, never having to be a dog for anyone — and even able to beat those hypocritical, "respectable" people until they acted like dogs.
In fact, what he loved most of all was watching her beat dogs —
— and yes, that included beating him too.
……
"Mr. Ling, are you alright?"
During the Flower Festival, the streets of Wei City were lit up all night long, the crowds and the sound of joyous chatter going on without a break until dawn. Shu Fu was walking down the fire-lit, silver-blossom streets, and when she turned around and saw Ling Xiyue — who had already become her beautiful girlish sidekick, but still — wearing a bright, cheerful smile, she couldn't help but ask him that question, completely sincerely.
— Maybe she should just bury him together with his brother instead?
"I'm fine."
Ling Xiyue's face was starting to hurt from smiling too much. "Since Miss Jiang was willing to come to our appointment, I'm already perfectly happy."
Even though she brought a fish with her.
If she liked bringing fish along, what could he even do about it?
Giving up was impossible. He could never give up, not in this lifetime. He just had to keep a polite, awkward smile on his face, while in his mind he pictured the fish braised in soy sauce, to keep the mood going.
"Hey, A-Yue," the Pomeranian gave him a look full of pity, for the one thousand and eighth time trying to talk him out of it. "There's plenty of fish in the sea..."
Ling Xiyue sighed. "A-Xuan, there are plenty of dogs in the world cuter and smarter than you, but I never replaced you, did I?"
The Pomeranian: "????"
That's true, but be honest with yourself — for the past three years, haven't you been using me as a wingman dog?
Have you ever cared about me as a dog? No, you haven't. You only care about yourself, wholeheartedly being a simp for that girl.
"Senior brother, look over there, what's that?" Shu Fu ignored the subtle, tense standoff between the man and the dog, and pulled Si Fei along to go look at all the different magical artifacts on display at the night market.
This really was one of the largest immortal markets in the Five States. Even on its first day, the stalls were already full of dazzling, endless treasures. The Tianyi Sect disciples manning the stalls stretched all the way from one end of the long street to the other, each one showing off their best skills, every one of them a unique, brilliant craft.
From tiny thunder fire bombs that could hide between your teeth, to shields as big as a restaurant round table — there was nothing you could think of that they hadn't made.
Shu Fu was so excited she went from stall to stall looking at every single item carefully, wandering around while the two "bracelets" on her arms chatted back and forth, explaining things to her through voice transmission, like she had a personal electronic tour guide.
For example:
[Hmph, the Tianyi Sect has really gone to the dogs now, selling all these half-baked junk. Look at that robe — one sleeve is longer than the other, one side of the chest is higher than the other, the back of the hem drags on the ground, but the front is so short it looks like it's about to... ahem, like it's about to trip over something. Are they that short on fabric?]
[Wu Yao, that's the latest fashion. You just don't get it.]
[Fashion my foot! It can't keep you warm, it can't block a knife. What's even the point of wearing it?]
Or for example:
[The world's going to the dogs, morals are rotting. They're even selling that low-class kind of medicine out in the open now. The human race is doomed, I swear.]
[Huh? Oh, that's... the kind of medicine for enhancing pleasure between partners. It's really not proper to sell it publicly, that's true. But Wu Yao, you're hardly one to talk about that stuff. When two people are joined as one, if you can't enjoy it fully, how can you call it a perfect union?]
[Enjoy, enjoy — enjoy what! That's all just for cultivation! What's there to enjoy!]
[Sigh, that's why you'll never beat Xiao Hanyi. I hear he's a real expert at making that kind of medicine, everyone from the righteous sects to the dark underworld sings his praises for it...]
[You haven't even used it — wait a minute, you don't even have a wife! You never even had a chance to use it! What are you bragging about?!]
And another example:
[Wow, the East Sea coral's gone up in price again. That tiny little bead of coral isn't even as big as the eyeball of a Qiongzhi Jade Rabbit, and they dare charge that much for it? You'd be way better off spending that money on the agate celestial bamboo the Tianyi Sect grows — thirty coins a bead, stays fresh for three years, and has a nice unique fragrance. Way more of a bargain.]
[Legend says East Sea coral was the Dragon God's favorite treasure a thousand years ago. If you carry one on you, you can get the protection of dragon qi, and have good fortune that lasts for generations.]
[The dragons are all gone... wait, there's not a single one left. What good fortune? This coral isn't even that important. I bet the Dragon Emperor didn't care that much about it back then. Only Lingbo and the others value old memories, keeping it just to hold onto a reminder. Where's the "dragon qi" supposed to come from? This thing's dragon qi, that thing's dragon qi — do they think dragon qi is just some random burp, that dragons can spit it out anywhere?]
[Those are just rumors passed down, half true and half false. Ordinary people are as tiny as mayflies, clinging to those vague old legends to beg for a little protection. It's only natural.]
[Ordinary people? Please. The so-called ordinary people you're talking about stopped worshipping the Dragon God eight hundred years ago. Now the phoenix and jiao clans are all labeled as "demonic beasts." No one treats them nicely — all anyone does is yell about hunting them down.]
"..."
Shu Fu thought that compared to the old, grumpy dragon princess Wu Yao who snapped at everything and everyone, even Jiang Xuesheng's subtle, hidden barbs sounded downright gentle.
On their way, they ran into Ji Shaoguang. Shu Fu had always been very fond of him, so she warmly struck up a conversation, and took the chance to pet the fluffy, snow-white Samoyed a couple of times.
"..."
Ling Xiyue wore a solemn expression, staring at the Pomeranian with a bone-chillingly icy gaze. "Xuan, tell me, do you think I really should get a new dog? In your opinion, does she prefer big ones, or white ones?"
"..."
The Pomeranian's tone was even colder than his, completely devoid of emotion. "A-Yue, I don't think getting a new dog will help. You need to replace yourself."
As the two chatted, Ji Shaoguang brought up the Flower Festival's two-person tournament with Shu Fu, and naturally mentioned the "Elder Huayue" who was a master at breaking formations.
"Sorry, Shu Fu. Elder Xie's cultivation is far higher than mine. I'm no match for him at all," Ji Shaoguang said, a look of shame on his face, yet his gaze remained frank and clear. "I don't have the strength to help out, and I almost dragged everyone down. I've already signed up for the first event, the 'Five States Quiz', so I'll give it my all no matter what."
Shu Fu waved her hand. "Don't say that. I'm the one who should be apologizing, for not being able to help you out. If I were stronger, strong enough to take on an elder one-on-one, you wouldn't have to worry so much."
According to Jiang Xuesheng's speculation, Elder Huayue most likely wouldn't even enter the tournament, but Shu Fu still didn't want to drag Ji Shaoguang into trouble. In the original novel, this gentle male supporting character had already suffered far too much.
["Take on an elder one-on-one? Look who thinks they're all that," Wu Yao grumbled in a snarky tone. "You've only been in the sect for three years, and you think you can fight an elder? If you actually pulled that off, half the cultivation world would be so mad they'd slit their own throats."]
Jiang Xuesheng: [I think it's totally doable. She took down a demon king after only three months of cultivation, and even beat you by a move, remember? As for everyone else, let them slit their throats or drink poison if they want. It's not like they're going to drop dead right outside the door of Yaoguang Peak.]
Wu Yao: [...]
—Wait, that barely even counted as a win???
...
After saying goodbye to Ji Shaoguang, Shu Fu continued wandering the streets with Si Fei. Since Ling Xiyue wouldn't bring up the real matter at hand, she just treated him like a human-shaped pet follower, turning a blind eye to all his tangled, overthinking antics.
The Pomeranian would roast him anyway, so why should she bother?
After walking a few more blocks, she realized the Lich King had been telling the truth. The market in Wei City was absolutely full of all kinds of "Flower Child" themed items—robes, artifacts, furniture decorations. Even the most ordinary festive lanterns that you'd see in the mortal realm were shaped like little boys, or painted with patterns of two handsome young boys.
As for the "Dragon God", that ancient faith from a thousand years ago? There wasn't a single incense offering to be found, not even a shadow of a dragon anywhere.
If Wu Yao hadn't told her, Shu Fu never would have imagined that this entire city was sheltered by dragon qi. Even a tiny, obscure county town in 21st century China had more dragon vibes during festivals, after all—everyone there said they were descendants of the dragon.
Alas, times had changed.
No wonder Wu Yao, a descendant of the Dragon Clan, was so pent up and bitter seeing the Dragon God faith fall this far.
He'd been chattering nonstop this whole walk:
[If you ask me, the Dragon Emperor was just being a total busybody. He never should have been so soft on these people, leaving them his dragon qi to protect them. Did anyone thank him? Does anyone remember him? No! All they care about now is the Flower Child.]
[The little girl was right—the Flower Child is all made up. The drought ended because of the dragon qi, it had nothing to do with some made-up Flower Child or her bridesmaids. The Dragon Emperor just did good deeds without leaving his name, so these people have no clue. Jiang Tan, you agree, right?]
[............]
For some reason, Jiang Xuesheng had gone completely quiet on this topic, no snarky remarks at all. Shu Fu had to pick up the conversation for him: [Yeah, yeah. You're totally right about everything.]
She thought to herself, I should probably be a little more careful about teasing the Lich King from now on.
Just then, a flash of bright color caught her eye out of the corner. She turned to look, and saw a whole display of vibrant, colorful items—there was a stall selling dough figurines.
"Fair lady, won't you take a look?" The stall owner was a white-haired, hunched old woman, holding a bamboo stick with a lumpy, misshapen golden blob stuck on top that was barely recognizable. There were two little black dots on the gold, which might have been eyes, or maybe just sesame seeds on a flatbread.
Shu Fu leaned down to look at it carefully for a long time, and finally managed to tell the head apart from the rear end. It was a chubby little yellow chicken.
Except its eyes were way too big, its beak was all crooked, and its body was squashed flat, so it looked like it had died with a serious grudge.
Shu Fu's eye twitched. She politely complimented, "Auntie, this... little chicken of yours is really cute."
"Fair lady, that's no chicken," the old woman grinned, showing a gap-toothed smile, trying to be friendly. "This is a yuanchu. You know yuanchu? That ancient divine bird, the yellow one."
Ling Xiyue: "..."
Shu Fu: "..."
Sorry, no matter how I look at it, this just looks like a little yellow chicken. Even the yuanchu itself would probably think the same.
She glanced over the rest of the dough figurines on the stall, felt a little stir of curiosity, and tentatively asked, "Then that little white goose on your left hand side..."
"That's a honghu! Another divine bird, the white one."
Shu Fu: If Senior Brother Liu saw this, he'd probably go completely crazy on the spot.
She went on, "And this one that looks like a flamingo..."
"Flamingo? Never heard of that. This red one is the fenghuang. The king of all divine birds, the one all hundred birds pay homage to, super powerful."
"Then that blue blob and purple blob that look like poisonous mushrooms..."
"Those are the green luan and yuezhuo. Put these five together, and they're called the Five Phoenixes. If you're interested, you can take all five home, I'll give you a nice discount."
"............"
Shu Fu had never met another person who knew about the Five Phoenixes besides Jiang Xuesheng before—yet this person's vibe was just as wacky as Jiang Xuesheng's.
She could only say gently, "I'm a rough sort of person, always fighting and drifting from place to place. I'd have nowhere to put dough figurines. Oh right, Auntie, you know about the Five Phoenixes, so have you ever heard of the 'Dragon God'?"
According to the legends, a thousand years ago, the Dragon was the leader of all the demons, and the Five Phoenixes were the four heavenly kings under the Dragon God.
The reason there were five phoenixes for four heavenly kings was that there were always five of them. That was just common knowledge.
"The 'Dragon God'...?" The old woman froze for a second, suddenly lifting her wrinkled, drooping eyelids. A glint of light appeared in her cloudy old eyes.
"You mean... the Dragon Emperor from a thousand years ago? Of course I know, I definitely know..."
She seemed to have struck a nerve, and before Shu Fu could even ask, she started talking nonstop, pouring out all her thoughts.
"The Dragon God you're talking about is the Dragon Emperor, right? A thousand years ago, when the demon disaster broke out, it was the Dragon Emperor who led the Five Phoenixes, along with all the other demons and humans, to fight against the monsters. Then one day, all of a sudden... the demonic qi vanished, all the monsters dropped dead, and the Five States were saved."
"But the Dragon Emperor, and the leaders of the Five Phoenixes... they never came back."
"After that, the Dragon Clan and Phoenix Clan got fewer and fewer, until you almost never saw them anymore. I heard that the Five Phoenixes are still somewhere in the mortal realm, either living in seclusion, or... well, their bloodlines have gotten thinner and thinner, until now they're barely any different from ordinary humans."
The old woman lowered her white, tousled head, gently stroking the "yuanchu" (a mythical phoenix-like bird) in her hands, even though it looked no more than a tiny yellow chick.
"I've always wanted to see the real dragon and phoenix with my own eyes. When I was young, I traveled far and wide, asking everyone I met, searching everywhere... But in the end, I only ever read about them in storybooks. Now that I'm this old and can no longer walk far, I can only knead a random lump of dough to comfort myself."
"My mother told me, and my grandmother told her, that long, long ago, white dragons and colorful phoenixes used to fly across the skies above Weicheng. Before I close my eyes for good, I really wish I could catch a glimpse of that sight..."
Lost in her distant memories, the old woman's lips curled into a naive, yearning smile like a little girl's for a moment, then drooped wearily the next, as if weighed down by the accumulated frost and wind of countless lifetimes.
Perhaps, throughout her long yet short life, she had been chasing those long-lost legends of the world, just like Jiang Xuesheng.
The only difference was that she never found what she was looking for.
Shu Fu felt a surge of pity, and spoke up, "Auntie, make me a dragon. I'll buy all of these chickens... and the five phoenixes too, along with it."
The old woman looked at her in confusion, "But Fairy, didn't you say you have no fixed home, and it's not convenient for you to carry things around..."
"It's fine."
Shu Fu shook her head. "I love the legends of the Dragon God and the five phoenixes too. Keeping them on me, taking them out to look at once in a while, will be a nice little keepsake."
"Wonderful, that's wonderful. I'll make it for you right now."
A bright, delighted smile bloomed across the old woman's weathered face as she eagerly agreed, when a soft, clear, melodious male voice drifted over from not far away.
"Auntie, make one for me too."
"..."
Shu Fu turned to look at the speaker, a dashing, elegant young man dressed in remarkably fine clothes. He wore an emerald crown on his head, a white jade ring at his waist, and a shimmering dark blue satin robe that looked as if it had been cut from a tapestry of starry sky and draped over his body.
The man wore a gentle, refined smile on his face, and gave Shu Fu a slight bow.
"It turns out the Fairy also loves phoenixes. What a coincidence. Tonight at the Hundred Flowers Tower, I plan to perform a piece titled *Phoenix Seeking the Phoenix* — it seems we are quite fated to meet like this."
"Hundred Flowers Tower?"
Shu Fu asked the question casually, but Si Fei and Ling Xiyue beside her tensed up as if facing a great enemy, stepping forward in unison to stand between Shu Fu and the stranger, one on each side.
"Who are you? Stay away from our junior sister, she doesn't know you."
"Miss Jiang is our companion, fellow daoist. It would be rather improper for you to steal her away from us."
With the two of them blocking the way, Jiang Xuesheng stood calmly at the side, explaining to Shu Fu unhurriedly, "Hundred Flowers Tower stands in the center of Weicheng, it's the tallest building in the entire city. Every Flower Worship Festival night market, cultivation musicians take the stage to perform, most of them to show off their skills and make a name for themselves."
Ling Xiyue and Si Fei despised the sight of each other, both thinking the other was getting in the way. One would take a step forward, and the other would hurry to follow two steps behind; you nudge me, I kick you on the calf; one spreads their arms to block the path, the other simply leaps towards the strange young man, pretending to chase him away.
"..."
This was the first time the young man had seen such bizarre bodyguards. The corner of his mouth twitched. "Gentlemen, I have no intention of offending you. It's just that this Fairy has such an extraordinary, ethereal bearing. Standing out in the vast crowd like a jade hidden in rock, or a bright pearl in the deep sea, she makes anyone who sees her forget all the vulgarities of the world. That's why I dared to speak to her."
Si Fei: "I get it, you're just smitten by her looks. Our junior sister said people like you are called 'face chasers'."
Young man: "?????"
He was indeed a face chaser, and he had indeed fallen for Shu Fu's (face) at first sight in the crowd. Naturally, he wasn't about to give up so easily on getting close to this beautiful woman within arm's reach.
His whole attention was fixed on the beauty, and he quietly shifted his step, trying to walk around the two men blocking his way. Little did he know there was a trick behind him — the Pomeranian, who had received a signal from Ling Xiyue, crept quietly around to his side, and suddenly let out a loud "woof", opening its jaws wide to bite his butt!
"Ugh?! What's going o—"
Worse still, at that very moment, a chaotic rush of footsteps sounded behind the young man.
"Sister, have you heard? There's a stunningly handsome man playing the qin up at Hundred Flowers Tower!"
"Really? How handsome is he?"
"So handsome! Just like a celestial being descended to earth! He's wearing all red, with a ruby hairpin in his hair, he looks just like a groom on his wedding day!"
"A groom? I'm totally into that! I'd marry him right this second!"
"Perfect, since all the sisters say so, I absolutely have to go see him. Ugh, there's someone blocking the way upead — wait, why is there a dog hanging off his butt? Pervert!"
"Yeah, he's definitely a pervert!"
At the same time, Wu Yao, hiding in Shu Fu's sleeve, suddenly pinched his throat and called out in a shrill, high-pitched voice, "He's trying to assault us, sisters, help!"
Shu Fu jumped in shock: "Wu Yao?!"
Had he been provoked too many times by Jiang Xuesheng on a daily basis, and finally broken down completely?
The thought had barely crossed her mind when Jiang Xuesheng followed up, "Sisters, help! This man is a repeat offender, my companion has been harmed by him before!"
Shu Fu: "..."
— Who's gone crazy here, you guys, or is it me???
Those passing women were warm-hearted and fiery. The moment they heard a "young girl" crying for help, their blood boiled, and they raised their voices to shout angrily, "Alright! How dare you cause trouble in Weicheng! You think you've lived too long, don't you!"
"Sisters, charge! Let this pervert see how tough the women of Weicheng are!"
"Get out of the way, we're going to see the handsome man! Move aside!"
"Wait, please let me expla— AH!!!"
With a dog clamped tight on his butt, its jaws like steel, the young man couldn't dodge in time. He was immediately pounced on by the crowd of fiery, fierce women behind him, who rained punches on him, pushed him to the ground in a chaotic scramble, then swarmed over him, trampling him under their feet.
If they had been ordinary women, it wouldn't have been so bad.
But every single one of them was tall and sturdy, built like iron towers, with fists the size of casseroles, and noses that jutted out higher than their foreheads. They were clearly a group of rhinoceros spirits living among the common folk!!!
"..."
"............"
".................."
After being trampled by the horde of rhinoceroses, the young man looked like a tattered rag, barely breathing, barely conscious as he lay weakly on the ground, almost squashed flat into a QR code.
"This..."
Even Shu Fu felt a twinge of pity at the horrifying sight. "Guys, Wu Yao, you didn't have to go that far. He was just trying to strike up a conversation."
"By the way, that man the rhinoceros sisters were talking about, the one playing the qin, who drove everyone so crazy... Could that be the Jade-Faced Fox, Xiao Hanyi?"
"It was necessary. No."
Jiang Xuesheng replied casually, answering both of Shu Fu's questions in one short sentence.
"Rhinoceroses don't understand romantic charm. To them, the qin and the konghou are no different. From the description of his clothes, the person they saw playing the instrument was Ruyi, who just felt like going out for a stroll dressed as a man on a whim."
Shu Fu: ".................."
Good heavens.
After her senior brother had stirred up trouble for every straight man under the sun, he'd finally set his sights on straight women too?
Then Jiang Xuesheng suddenly broke into a grin, sounding just like someone reciting a poem or composing a verse, and continued in a cadenced, thoroughly amused tone full of schadenfreude:
"——That rag on the ground right there is the real Xiao Hanyi."
"………………………Huh?"
Before Shu Fu could even process the words, a burst of unbridled, raucous laughter exploded in her mind.
It was like a gale, like a crashing tidal wave, like a torrential downpour that had been building up for two hundred years, and it nearly knocked her flat on the spot.
Wu Yao: "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Xiao the Dog, you never thought you'd end up like this, did you?! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!"
