What if the medicine you mentioned were used on you?
“Fairy?”
The moment Shu Fu stepped through the door, she saw Xiao Hanyi leaning against the window, one hand idly fiddling with an ancient-looking Boshan incense burner. He turned toward her and offered a flawless smile, right down to the precisely calculated curve of his lips. A soft, lingering call escaped his throat, carrying just the right amount of delight and surprise.
“Fairy, you came to see me?”
“…”
Shu Fu felt as though someone had dumped an entire faceful of grease over her. She nearly slammed the door shut on the spot and sent him off with a polite, “Sorry, wrong room.”
But seriously, how had this wretch managed to rack up a hundred conquests?
Had he done it through PUA tactics?
To track down the Demon Lord, Shu Fu felt she was enduring such humiliation that the Jiuhua Sect ought to award her a medal when she returned.
“Not bad.”
With one hand braced against the doorframe, she struggled to steady herself, lest she strike him dead on the spot.
“Young Master Xiao has always lived a life of luxury, feasting and revelry every night. I imagine it must be rather difficult to adjust now that you’ve become a prisoner.”
“Not at all.”
Xiao Hanyi had always been skilled at making friends and winning people over. Now that he had fallen from power, he was equally adept at admitting defeat and humbling himself.
“As the saying goes, ‘I’d gladly die beneath a peony, and remain a romantic ghost in the afterlife.’ In this city of Wei, with its flowers in full bloom, to fall into the hands of a beauty as…” He paused deliberately, then cast Shu Fu a flirtatious, lovestruck glance. “As breathtaking as you, even if I were to die today, I would have no regrets.”
Shu Fu muttered, “Oh. Then go die.”
Xiao Hanyi: “…What?”
Shu Fu: “Nothing. You must have misheard.”
“…”
At the same time, the white snake Jiang Xuesheng, hidden inside Shu Fu’s sleeve, tensed up as well. It was probably the serpent equivalent of a human curling their toes in embarrassment.
On the surface, the human and the snake remained perfectly calm. Inside, however, they were frantically trying to talk each other down:
【Keep calm, sir! If we blow our cover here, our whole plan will be ruined!】
【Fu’er, you’re the one who needs to calm down… Forget it. We should just kill him. He’s only Demon Lord Ninglu. Why go to all this trouble?】
【Keep calm, sir!!!】
“Young Master Xiao, I have a few questions I’d like to ask you.”
Shu Fu cleared her throat with considerable force and began silently reciting the Great Compassion Mantra, forcing herself to empty her mind of all earthly desires.
“If you’re willing to answer them, I can consider asking the Lich King to spare your life.”
Xiao Hanyi’s brows twitched.
So it had finally begun.
He knew that Wu Yao’s hatred for him ran deep enough that there was no way Shu Fu could truly save his fox hide.
But as long as Shu Fu needed something from him—so long as she was willing to enter the room, sit down, and speak with him slowly, slowly, for a while—his chance to slip away would come.
Xiao Hanyi rejoiced inwardly, though not a trace of it showed on his face. He merely lowered his head to straighten his collar, then rose with graceful poise and bowed to Shu Fu.
“Thank you, Fairy. I shall never forget your great kindness.”
Behind him, the exquisite Boshan incense burner sent wisps of smoke curling into the air like immortal mist. A strange fragrance drifted through the room, softening the limbs and stirring the heart with an intoxicating allure.
…
Meanwhile.
The young master of Lingxiao City—the number-one delinquent brat in the cultivation world, Ling Fengming—was in an exceptionally foul mood today.
His big brother had arranged for him to compete in Weicheng’s doubles arena tournament, and had even specifically assigned “Elder Huayue” to accompany him. Clearly, he had high hopes for Ling Fengming, looking forward to seeing him claim the championship at the Flower Festival and bring glory to Lingxiao City.
Ling Fengming was simple-minded and had always worshipped his wise, mighty, and seemingly omnipotent big brother, so he was more than happy to comply. For several nights in a row, he could barely sleep, rubbing his fists and gearing up for the tournament.
But…
Elder Huayue was truly insufferable.
Within the pitiful limits of Ling Fengming’s knowledge, Xie Fangnian was the most beautiful person he had ever seen—and the one with the most poisonous tongue.
He had no idea what kind of rare treasure Xie Fangnian was, but somehow his big brother treated him as if he were a sacred ancestral tablet, going so far as to lower himself and address him as “Mr. Xie.”
In Ling Fengming’s eyes, the yuan-chu possessed noble bloodlines and were born different from ordinary creatures. Other than dragons and phoenixes, when had they ever needed to bow their heads to anyone?
Dragons and phoenixes had vanished from the world long ago. Surely, all living things ought to acknowledge the yuan-chu as their leaders and bow before the might of Lingxiao City.
Xie Fangnian was nothing more than a guest elder, yet he carried himself with such arrogance. He clearly had no respect for birds whatsoever. It was utterly infuriating.
Take yesterday, for instance. Ling Fengming had secretly driven to Weicheng, hoping to gather some information before the tournament and ease his big brother’s burden.
Who could have guessed that his very first step would go disastrously wrong? The moment he landed, he was subjected to a savage beating. With no other choice, he returned dejectedly, his head hanging low and his tail between his legs.
…And then he was subjected to a three-hundred-and-sixty-degree, no-blind-spot bird assault from Elder Huayue.
“So you really are a descendant of the yuan-chu? The little young master with the purest bloodline of this generation, the apple of Sect Master Ling’s eye? You don’t look like it to me. More likely, you were switched at birth with a chick from the neighboring henhouse.”
“The yuan-chu clan has truly suffered a family tragedy. Its bloodline has withered over the past three thousand years, to the point that it can’t even raise a single purebred bird. Sect Master Ling went to painstaking lengths, scouring the world for every branch of the bloodline, and finally managed to hatch a creature like you. You have the blood, all right—but unfortunately, you weren’t blessed with a brain.”
“If you’re counting on reviving the yuan-chu, you’d be better off cultivating the sparrows in the tree outside the gate. I’d wager they’d become phoenixes faster than you ever will.”
—That was simply too much!
—Enough was enough!
Furious, Ling Fengming resolved to “get back up wherever he had fallen.” He brought along several lackeys who usually accompanied him in raising hell, and, under cover of night, slipped out of Yao City once more.
A man fought for his pride; a Buddha fought for a stick of incense.
He was determined to go to Weicheng and wipe away the shame of his defeat, make his big brother look at him in a new light, and leave Xie Fangnian speechless forever.
As for his target, there was no need to ask. Naturally, it was Shu Fu—the woman who had humiliated him beyond measure and made him lose face in front of everyone.
—even my own dad has never hit me!
—Woman, you’ve caught my attention!
Had Shu Fu known about this, she would probably have sighed and said, “Even your own father never imagined I’d attract the attention of creatures like you.”
And if the Cringey Demon Lord, Nan Gongming, had heard this, he probably would have slammed the table and shouted, “Damn it, what are you supposed to be? How dare you steal this lord’s line?!”
As the saying goes, “Money can make the devil turn the millstone.” In the cultivation world, if you have enough money, you can even make the millstone gain sentience and eagerly crush the devil into powder for you.
Young Master Ling was short on morals, common sense, and brains—but never on money.
The moment he arrived in Wei City, he scattered spirit stones by the handful. Naturally, people were more than willing to provide him with information and point out the inn where Shu Fu and her companions were staying.
Shu Fu and Si Fei had made no effort to conceal their tracks, and their appearances were too striking to overlook. It was not difficult to inquire after their whereabouts. In fact, if the assassins took the initiative to deliver themselves to their doorstep, that would save them the trouble of digging three feet into the ground to find them. It was exactly what they wanted.
“Good! We’ll set out at once! I’ll make that crazy woman see what I’m capable of!”
Ling Fengming’s head was empty, his brain about the size of half a sparrow’s. He immediately rolled up his sleeves and led a group of lackeys whose combat prowess was even less impressive than that of sparrows, marching grandly toward the inn to “wash away their humiliation.”
Ling Fengming knew nothing of what was taking place at the inn at that very moment—and had no way of knowing.
But he would soon find out that tonight’s expedition to “avenge his shame” would be the worst decision of his life.
Bar none.
...
“...Alas. What you do not know, Fairy, is that I too am being controlled by others. I have no choice in the matter.”
Inside the inn, Xiao Hanyi personally brewed a pot of fine tea and poured a cup for both himself and Shu Fu. Naturally, when pouring Shu Fu’s cup, he employed a sleight-of-hand technique to discreetly add a little of his secret, proprietary seasoning.
Once everything was ready, he sat down beside her, arranging his clothes with a mournful air. Eyes lowered, he presented Shu Fu with a melancholy, grief-stricken profile.
“...”
Jiang Xuesheng quietly tightened his grip around Shu Fu’s wrist once again.
In the face of Xiao Hanyi’s performance, even the cultivation world’s reigning king of shameless flirting fell silent.
Silence was Wei City tonight.
“...”
Shu Fu was not having an easy time of it either. She curled her fingers and toes inward, feeling as though she were about to claw a three-bedroom apartment into the floor.
Yet outwardly, she maintained an impassive, frosty expression, lest Xiao Hanyi grow suspicious. “Young Master Xiao, go on.”
“Yes. To be honest, this is what happened...”
Xiao Hanyi intended to stall for time. The story he made up was rambling and perfunctory, and he had no time to fabricate much detail. Even so, there were a few grains of truth mixed in.
According to him, he had been sincere toward every girlfriend he had ever had. It was simply that his heart was delicate and fragile, and before he knew it, it had shattered into more than three hundred pieces—each piece falling in love with a different person.
He was not a scumbag. He merely carried the whole world in his heart and wanted to bring happiness to every girl longing for love.
Loving one person meant endless anxiety and aching concern. It was simply too exhausting, so he had decided to love a hundred...
“...”
Shu Fu: *applauds like a seal*
If this fox had been born in the twenty-first century and given a little more screen time, he would definitely have become an even greater meme than Hong Shixian.
After recounting a romantic history that lasted a full quarter of an hour, Xiao Hanyi finally began to hem and haw, coyly and evasively mentioning the name “Demon Lord Ninglu” for the first time.
“I had no choice!”
The moment he opened his mouth, he thoroughly absolved himself of all blame, sounding every inch the victim. “Though I may be an utter failure, I am still descended from the Demon King. If I had not been driven into a corner, why would I ever have sought refuge with demonic cultivators?”
“Oh? And what exactly was this ‘no choice’ of yours?”
Shu Fu stared blankly ahead, her smile frozen and vacant. Inside, she had already recited the Great Compassion Mantra seven or eight times.
“Those women and I were always mutually willing when we were together. We even agreed that we would ‘part on good terms and never pester each other’... I don’t know how, but one day they all gathered together and, after a little discussion, unanimously decided that I had been insincere. They accused me of ‘seducing them and then abandoning them’ and ‘flirting without any intention of marrying them,’ and now they want my head to offer up as a sacrifice to their youth and true feelings.”
“My own little sister, Su Yi... No, she should be called Tie Yi now. Even she refuses to understand me. The moment she inherited the title of Demon King, she struck my name from the family registry, drove me out of Qingqiu, and refused to shield me from those women’s pursuit. The world is vast, yet there is no place left for me to go.”
“Just when I had nowhere else to turn, the only person willing to take me in was A-Ning... No, Demon Lord Ninglu.”
At this point, Xiao Hanyi’s voice grew increasingly mournful and affecting, and he looked as though he might burst into tears at any moment. “If she had not protected me, I would have long since become a ghost beneath the Yellow Springs. How else could I have lived long enough to meet a fairy like you?”
“...”
Shu Fu was being flirted with so aggressively that one Buddha had left her body and a second Buddha had ascended to heaven. Her fingernails nearly dug through her palms, and she could no longer even recite the Great Compassion Mantra. There was only one thought left in her mind—
Lich King, your wife is blind!!!!!!!
“Very well. I understand everything now.”
She truly did not want to endure this torture any longer, so she pretended to be moved by Xiao Hanyi’s confession and rose from her seat beside the table. “Young Master Xiao is indeed a lust-driven—cough, cough—a man of deep passion. In that case, your actions could be considered understandable. I’ll put in a few good words for you before the Lich King.”
“Wait, Fairy!”
How could Xiao Hanyi possibly let her leave? Seeing that the incense had failed, he hurriedly pushed the drugged teacup toward her and pleaded with heartfelt emotion, “Since you are my soulmate, why not drink this cup of tea before you go? Or is it that you, too, do not trust me and think I am the sort of... frivolous man who takes advantage of women?”
Shu Fu: “...”
—Would any sane person trust you???
She had assumed that this little fishing operation of hers was about as obvious as a hook with a salty worm dangling from it. She had not expected his hook to be even more blatant than hers—he had not even bothered to put bait on it.
Just how easy did he think a girl of seventeen or eighteen was to fool?
Originally, Shu Fu had only intended to pretend to be moved—though, to be honest, that was already difficult enough—then quietly leave a gap in the barrier and let Xiao Hanyi escape.
But since he was so determined to throw himself into her hands, she could hardly be blamed for taking him up on the offer.
Thus, she put on an angry expression and flicked her sleeve. “Who says I don’t trust you? It’s only a cup of tea. Do you think I’m afraid of you?”
At the same time, hidden by her sleeve, Jiang Xuesheng swiftly poked his head out, bit down on the rim of the cup, and switched the positions of the two cups of tea on the table.
Xiao Hanyi was highly skilled at concocting all sorts of unmentionable drugs. Even Jiang Xuesheng himself was not certain he could neutralize their effects with absolute confidence. So, when it came to this move, he chose the oldest method of countering poison known to man.
In the martial world, speed is everything.
In other words—
As long as you switched the cups fast enough, even the person who drugged them wouldn’t notice.
And Xiao Hanyi really didn’t.
For one thing, he had been captivated by the mixture of coyness and anger on Shu Fu’s face. For another, he was confident in his own abilities. The medicine he had concocted was colorless and odorless, and he had assumed that the young woman knew nothing of his skill. No matter how vigilant she was, she would never detect anything amiss.
To win Shu Fu’s trust, he immediately picked up his teacup and took a large gulp, then watched her lift hers with shining eyes. The moment Shu Fu’s lips touched the rim, Xiao Hanyi was so delighted that he nearly laughed aloud.
“Allow me to thank you, Immortal—ah, your ki—… Huh?”
—Wait a moment.
—There’s something wrong with this tea.
It was clearly just an ordinary cup of tea. Why, then, had an indescribable, wondrous sensation arisen the instant it entered his stomach?
Why had this indescribable sensation swept over him like a landslide and tsunami, drowning his entire body and engulfing his mind in an instant?
No, fundamentally speaking—
Why was this feeling happening to him?!
“You… you…”
Xiao Hanyi vaguely realized what had happened. He raised his head and stared at Shu Fu in disbelief. “It was you…”
But Shu Fu reacted even faster. She immediately circulated her spiritual energy, forcing her face to flush and sweat to bead on her forehead. Then she slumped weakly toward the floor and said feebly, “Young Master Xiao, what is going on? Did you tamper with the tea?”
Xiao Hanyi was utterly confused. “What? So you were affected too? How could this be? I have no idea!”
—Could it be that he had accidentally added the drug to both cups of tea?
—How careless would he have to be for that to happen?!
—He had been seducing women for years and had never made such a low-level mistake!!!
“Young Master Xiao, now that we have both been affected by this… this strange substance, we should separate at once, lest we do something irreparable.”
While singing inwardly, *For the sake of this one performance, I have exhausted a lifetime’s worth of acting skills*, Shu Fu pretended to brace herself against the wall and rise. Step by slow step, she retreated toward the door.
“Don’t worry. I’ll find someone to treat you. Take care, Young Master Xiao…”
“W-wait, Immortal Maiden! This poison has no cure. Only you can help me—”
Before Xiao Hanyi could finish, Shu Fu slammed the door shut with a resounding *bang*, cutting off his panicked, piercing cry.
“…………”
…So it was actually an incurable drug. How sinister.
The moment the door closed, Shu Fu’s face instantly returned to normal. She was neither flushed nor out of breath, and her slender back straightened as though nothing had happened.
“All right. Xiao Hanyi has been poisoned by his own drug, so he’ll certainly be desperate to find someone who can help him relieve it. Since Wei City forbids brothels, he won’t be able to find any women—and he wouldn’t dare abduct one off the street. The Lord of Wei City would have him torn limb from limb. He can only turn to his old lover, Ninglu, for help.”
She dusted off her hands and addressed Jiang Xuesheng with complete confidence. “Sir, please have Senior Brother Liu follow him. I won’t be of much use after that.”
Jiang Xuesheng: “…Excellent. Fu’er truly is as clever as ice and snow.”
He had to admit, this move was genuinely terrifying—far beyond anything he could have imagined.
Even he had no desire to experience what Xiao Hanyi was going through now.
Just then, Ling Fengming arrived at the inn with a group of underlings in tow. After finding out which rooms Shu Fu and her party were staying in, he saw that Xiao Hanyi’s room was still lit. Without another word, he vaulted up to the second floor, smashed through the window with his sword, and burst inside.
“Crazy woman! I’m here to settle the score with you!”
“………………”
And then—
Ling Fengming stared in shock and confusion. There was no sign of Shu Fu in the room. Instead, there was only a handsome young man, drenched in cold sweat and with his hair in disarray, sprawled beside the table and writhing in agony.
The moment the young man heard a voice, he whipped around almost desperately. His bloodshot eyes locked onto Ling Fengming’s face.
“W-what a lovely young lady…”
“What?”
Ling Fengming was utterly baffled. “No, who the hell are you? Where’s that crazy woman?”
Before he could react, the young man seized his wrist, dragged him down from the windowsill, and pinned him to the floor without so much as a word.
“Miss, I have been struck by a deadly poison and urgently need your help to save my life. Saving one life is worth building a seven-story pagoda. You are surely kindhearted and merciful, Miss—I trust you would not refuse…”
“Wait, what?! What are you doing?! How dare you! Where are you touching?! Do you know who I am?! Let go of me! No, don’t come any closer—AAAAAHHHH!!!!”
