There were four humans in the room. Three of them were so shocked they couldn’t get a word out, while the fourth was gritting his teeth to keep from laughing and embarrassing the zombie.
But sometimes silence itself was embarrassing.
Qin Zhen gazed earnestly at the three members of the Thunder Squad and continued in her sugary voice, “Really! I came specifically to tell you this, this news. If you don’t believe me, ask Sweetie!”
Xu the Second had a strong sense of responsibility as captain and was a very tough man, but when it came to this matter, he truly had no idea how to respond. So he took a different route and picked what he thought was a simple topic to ask about.
“Who’s Sweetie?”
“Me, me, me.” Fu Qi pressed down the corners of his mouth and raised his hand to claim the identity. “To be perfectly honest, Sweetie is my childhood nickname.”
“…”
Maybe the big truck had been too bumpy the night before. Even after an entire day, Xu the Second still felt nauseated.
“Sweetie, say something useful!” Qin Zhen didn’t care how their stomachs were holding up. She only wanted to clear her name of being heartless, so she urged him, “Hurry up and tell them. My sister, Jiang Xiaojiang, is she d-dead?”
“Yes,” Fu Qi said.
She was definitely dead. She had been dead for so long that the clothes on her body had faded and rotted away.
Qin Zhen turned back to Xu the Second and emphasized, “See? My sister really is dead! Completely and thoroughly dead!”
“…Oh. I-I understand.” Forced to give a positive response, Xu the Second had no choice but to offer a token show of grief. He consoled her, “Little Qin, my condolences.”
The two underlings behind him had long since been dumbfounded. In a daze, they echoed him, “Little Qin, our condolences.”
With a sorrowful expression, Little Qin lightly dabbed beneath her eyes with the back of her hand and said, “It’s fine. I-it’ll pass… Just don’t blame her.”
“We won’t blame her. Zombie Sis was a good person.”
“A truly wonderful person!”
“The greatest good person in the world!”
The three members of the Thunder Squad each contributed a line and mourned along with her for a while. Xu the Second studied Qin Zhen’s expression before cautiously asking, “So is your sister a zombie now, or was she eaten?”
Qin Zhen was stumped.
Saying she had been eaten would be the simplest, but she had no proof. They might not believe her.
She could also say that Jiang Xiaojiang had turned into a zombie. That would let them see for themselves and would be more convincing. It would be easy enough, anyway—all she had to do was remove her makeup and show them her face. The only problem was that she might end up taking a bullet.
Both options had their pros and cons. The zombie couldn’t decide which method would be better for faking her death. As she hesitated, she saw all four humans waiting curiously for her answer. In her panic, she became even less able to choose.
“Sister!”
After hesitating for a moment, Qin Zhen suddenly let out a shrill cry, covered her face, and ran outside, startling the entire Thunder Squad.
Fu Qi was startled too, but he reacted quickly. After Qin Zhen ran out, he put on an extremely solemn expression and said to the Thunder Squad, “You know how it is with things like this… Ah, you carry on. I’ll go check on her.”
The members of the Thunder Squad didn’t even bother holding on to their old grudge against him. They nodded repeatedly. “Yes, yes, go ahead.”
After watching Fu Qi chase her outside, Xu the Second went over and shut the door. He turned back to his teammates. After three seconds of silence, they all began complaining in perfect unison.
“What the hell was that?”
“No idea. Maybe her chuunibyou acted up. That Sister Jiang—I thought she was abnormal from the first time I saw her. She’s definitely got a terminal case of chuunibyou!”
“She’s obviously the same person! She even stutters the same way, and she hasn’t changed clothes!”
“Does she take us for idiots?”
“Maybe she’s just a drama queen… Forget it, forget it. She saved our lives, so let her be. But what’s up with Fu Laoqi?”
“He’s sick too. He’s never been normal!”
“By the way, how did the two of them get us out of the hospital?”
“No idea. Once their episode is over, we’ll find time to ask Fu Laoqi… But don’t go now. They were terrifying just now. I’ve still got goosebumps…”
“…”
Meanwhile, after running outside, Qin Zhen circled around to the house where she and Fu Qi lived. When Fu Qi caught up with her, she hurriedly asked, “How was it? Wasn’t my acting pretty good?”
Without waiting for Fu Qi to answer, she began lamenting, “My acting at the beginning was great, but then I hesitated… Sweetie, which do you think is better? Should my sister have been eaten, or should she have turned into a zombie?”
She asked the question herself but didn’t let him answer. Instead, she immediately frowned and reflected on the situation. “If I hadn’t hesitated, either method would have worked. But because I hesitated, they definitely suspect I was l-lying!”
She reached a conclusion. “I should pretend to be a zombie after all! I need to find some time to remove my makeup and circle around in front of them!”
The zombie clapped both hands together, having come up with a plan, and only then looked at Fu Qi’s reaction.
Fu Qi’s face was stiff, and his expression was more solemn than it had ever been.
Qin Zhen frowned and met his eyes.
They stared at each other for a while. Then she narrowed her eyes and said, “You’d better hold it in. If you dare laugh—if you dare make fun of me—I’ll… After you die and turn into a pile of bones, I’ll use your head as a cushion in your coffin!”
“Ahem, ahem!” Fu Qi coughed forcefully and said, “I’m not laughing. I’m a person who hates laughing more than anything… I’ll go over to the Thunder Squad again.”
He turned to leave, but as he did, the corners of his mouth lifted ever so slightly.
The zombie noticed.
All her efforts had gone to waste!
Qin Zhen pounced onto Fu Qi’s back and wrapped her arms around his neck, loudly demanding, “Were you laughing? You definitely were!”
Fu Qi reached both arms behind him, hooked them around her legs, and hoisted her onto his back. There was no point pretending anymore, so he burst out laughing, his entire back shaking.
Qin Zhen grew embarrassed under his laughter.
Faking her death and having her younger sister take her place was indeed a little far-fetched, but hadn’t she been out of options at the time? In her panic, she could only try the impossible and come up with some excuse on the spot.
She was angry that Fu Qi hadn’t helped her and was now making fun of her, so she tightened her grip around his neck and started hitting him.
It took Fu Qi quite some time to stop laughing under the zombie’s iron fists. He set her down on the bed, then turned around and braced both hands beside her legs. Bending down toward her, he said with a smile, “I told you before to use the identity of one of your five identical sisters to deal with bad guys, but look at you—you used it to escape social death.”
He laughed again as he continued, “Social death, huh? So you really did die?”
Qin Zhen didn’t quite understand, but she knew it wasn’t anything nice. She threatened him, “If you don’t want your head used as a coffin cushion, you’d better stop talking n-nonsense!”
“All right, all right. I won’t talk nonsense.” Fu Qi said, “Baby, Qin Qin, I just want to ask you something. Your sister is dead—what am I supposed to do?”
“What do you mean, what are you supposed to do?”
Fu Qi reminded her, “Besides being teammates, your sister and I are also a couple.”
Qin Zhen understood. She kicked off her shoes, sat cross-legged on the bed, and said, “Ah, things were so urgent at the time that I forgot I also had to c-consider my relationship with you.”
To help Fu Qi conceal her identity, the two of them had always acted as a couple. They lived together and occasionally even slept in the same bed… Fu Qi slept, while the zombie lay beside him playing.
Fu Qi had never said anything about it, and Qin Zhen hadn’t cared. After all, they were different species, so there was no possibility between them. It was like having a giant stuffed toy on the bed.
But now there was a problem.
Given the relationship between Zombie Little Qin and Fu Qi, it really wasn’t appropriate for them to sleep together. What if they ran into other people from their group later?
After thinking it over, Qin Zhen came up with a brilliant idea. “Just say that after your older sister died, you took responsibility for caring for your younger sister, and the two of you developed feelings for each other.”
Fu Qi said, “I wouldn’t mind crossing an ethical line once, but what if Qin Qin dies later too? Then I fall in love with Zhen Zhen, Zhi Zhi, or Blue Blue?”
“Exactly.” Qin Zhen nodded. “Because you deeply love Little—Little Zombie, you fall in love with every woman who looks just like her! It’s called the ‘true love and replacement’ trope!”
“...You’re not allowed to read novels anymore,” Fu Qi said speechlessly. “And besides, you’d better give up on that idea as soon as possible. I’m not becoming a scumbag.”
To prevent any further accidents, the people from the Thunder Squad decided to rest up before returning to base with a truckload of medical supplies. Fu Qi and Qin Zhen had no need to stay behind. A few days later, with the snow receding and the weather looking good, they decided to continue toward Lin Township.
Before setting out, the two sides naturally had to exchange a few words.
Xu the Second saw Fu Qi off along the path outside the village and asked, “There are only two of you. How exactly did you break through that horde of zombies? And how did you get all that food into the clinic that night? I honestly can’t figure it out.”
“There weren’t only two of us,” Fu Qi said. “Besides Little Zombie and me, there was Little Qin. You forgot?”
Xu the Second stared at him. “...Three, fine. How did the three of you manage it? And where did all those medicines come from?”
The eight of them hadn’t managed to do it. Could the First Team really be that powerful?
“How did three people rescue all of us?”
“I don’t know. That’s why I’m asking you.”
“We couldn’t have done it, so there weren’t only three of us.”
“...”
Xu the Second went around in circles with Fu Qi, exchanging a mountain of words without obtaining a single useful piece of information. With a sigh, he gave up and said, “Back when I was at the base, I heard some things. Those people from Country A have been hounding you nonstop. Did you find out something?”
“Yes,” Fu Qi said.
There was nothing to deny. Anyone could guess the reason when those people pursued him like rabid dogs.
“Do you need help?”
“How much can you help?”
“A favor deserves another. I’ll repay you with everything I’ve got.”
Only after Xu the Second reluctantly made that promise did Fu Qi say, “I do. But the person you should help and repay isn’t me. I hope that someday, when she truly needs you, you’ll remember what you said today.”
Xu the Second frowned and thought hard, but came up with nothing. He grew irritated. “Can’t you just speak plainly for once?”
“I don’t have time to explain.” Fu Qi glanced toward the car. “Little Qin is waiting for me. I have to take her to fulfill her sister’s dying wish...”
“Go to hell!” Xu the Second exploded. “You two lunatics are really getting addicted to this act...”
As they were cursing at each other, a figure staggered out from behind a large tree in the distance. Accompanied by heavy, guttural wheezing, it lunged toward them.
Xu the Second swiftly drew his gun, but just as he raised it, Fu Qi snatched it away.
“Don’t shoot!”
Xu the Second stared in astonishment. “That’s a zombie, Fu Laoqi... Huh? No, wait. Why does this zombie look kind of familiar?”
“You’re imagining things. You’ve got it wrong,” Fu Qi said.
“No, hold on... Why does that zombie look so much like Sister Jiang?” Xu the Second’s voice shot up several octaves and cracked. “Sister Jiang really turned into a zombie?! But—but wasn’t that all just an act?!”
Fu Qi shoved the confiscated gun back into Xu the Second’s waistband, then stepped toward the zombie, Little Zombie. When she lunged at him, he caught both her wrists in a swift motion and wrapped his arms around the crazed zombie from behind.
The zombie let out a series of “aaah” sounds and tried to bite Fu Qi. He didn’t mind in the slightest. Instead, he affectionately rubbed his chin against the top of her head and said sorrowfully, “Little Zombie isn’t a zombie. She just fell into a vat of dye... No matter what she becomes, I’ll love her forever and stay with her forever...”
Xu the Second: “...?”
Fu Qi paid no attention to his reaction. He picked up “Zombie Sis” and hurried toward the car, saying as he went, “Xu the Second, for the sake of the fact that we once saved your life, please keep this a secret.”
Xu the Second’s mind was roaring like a train barreling down the tracks. One moment, he remembered Little Qin’s over-the-top sobbing from that day; the next, he saw the zombie before him, her face blue-green and uncannily similar to Sister Jiang’s.
His brain had completely frozen. He couldn’t tell whether he was dreaming or hallucinating.
“Wait, Fu Laoqi! Let me—let me take another look...”
He took several steps forward, wanting to see whether the zombie in the back of the vehicle really was Sister Jiang. But before he reached the car, a mournful cry rang out from inside:
“Sis, Sis, it really is you! Waaaaah! Don’t worry—even if you’ve turned into a zombie, my brother-in-law and I will take you with us forever and take care of you...”
Xu the Second’s footsteps came to a halt.
Fu Qi had already climbed into the driver’s seat. Amid the roar of the engine, he nodded at Xu the Second and said, “Goodbye!”
Then he turned the vehicle around and drove off into the distance, carrying that exaggerated sobbing with him. Xu the Second was left standing alone in the cold wind, staring dumbfounded at the car’s exhaust and wondering whether he had lost his mind.
