The guests said nothing either. They simply stared at Director Zhang with the sort of concerned look usually reserved for the intellectually disabled.
Their strategy was simple: overcome action with stillness and catch him completely off guard!
Under their eerie stares, the expression Director Zhang had been wearing while deliberately making things difficult for the guests and enjoying the show finally cracked.
“I’m begging you people! Can’t you say something nice to me and humor me just once?”
Having achieved their goal, the wicked guests were satisfied.
After recording so many episodes with Director Zhang, Xie Tangning knew exactly what he was up to the moment he opened his mouth.
Not only did she refuse to humor him, she even surreptitiously rolled her eyes. “Enough nonsense, Director. Hurry up and announce the task!”
“That’s not right! Didn’t you say the finale wouldn’t have any tasks? How can you go back on your word?”
Director Zhang let out a cackle. “Are you a worm in my stomach? How do you guess everything right?”
“It looks like my little guests really do love me! You know your director so well. I’m deeply touched!”
When it came to words he didn’t like hearing, Director Zhang was remarkably skilled at automatically translating them into words he did like.
What kind of guests produced what kind of director. Together, they were the founding ancestors of the upside-down, completely backwards school of behavior.
But his guests weren’t about to indulge him. Wu Weixiang directly threatened him, “Director, if you keep dragging your feet instead of telling us the task, we’re not listening later!”
“Then go complete the task by yourself!”
Wu Dacheng and Liang Zhou nodded with utmost seriousness in agreement. “Exactly. Besides, no one wants to complete the task anyway!”
Director Zhang was speechless once again, while the assistant director was practically laughing himself to death.
“I’m telling you, Zhang Goudan, why do you even bother? Is this your first day knowing them?”
“Go stand off to the side!”
With that, the assistant director snatched the little loudspeaker from Director Zhang’s hand.
“Dear guests, in order to present our finale in the best possible way…”
“The production team has unanimously decided—though really, this was mainly Director Zhang’s decision—”
“Tonight’s finale banquet will be prepared by all of you working together. You’ll need to purchase all the food and drinks yourselves.”
The moment they heard this was Director Zhang’s decision, everyone was reminded of his miserly nature and immediately began worrying about the budget.
Su Xiaoye, the model student, fired the first shot, which was truly unexpected.
“Director Zhang has always been an extremely generous director in my heart, one who cares deeply about his guests.”
“You always join in our antics and give me a wonderful sense of warmth, like being at home. So you definitely aren’t going to limit the budget for our banquet preparations, right?”
What a brilliant one-two punch: praise first, then a gentle knife that struck with deadly precision.
If this had been some former top idol who valued his dignity more than food, he probably would have chewed on that line and swallowed it whole.
Unfortunately, Director Zhang was just like the demon siblings. He had never carried such a burdensome thing as shame around with him.
He simply tossed his dignity onto the ground and launched straight into self-deprecation.
“Although everything Classmate Su said is true…”
“You should know that there’s a saying: You may know someone’s face, but not their heart!”
“Your director has always been a stingy, penny-pinching miser. How could I possibly give you an unlimited budget for the banquet?”
“It’s still one hundred bucks per group. If you can eat, eat. If you can’t, go study how the immortals survive on dew!”
The guests collectively let out a drawn-out wail, their voices sticky and syrupy.
“Director~ How could you~”
“Please~ Give us just a little more~ Your children only want to eat their fill~”
“Look how chubby and adorable I am! Director Zhang, can you really bear to give us only a hundred bucks?”
The little devils pulled out every trick in the book, from acting cute to clowning around and whining sweetly.
Director Zhang was nearly blasted into ascension by their waves of affected, coquettish voices.
While frantically pinching his philtrum, he said, “My little ancestors, please stop using your powers!”
“I never want to suffer another magical attack like that again! The ten of you have five hundred bucks altogether!”
“That’s already plenty. Not one cent more!”
After thinking it over, everyone felt that Director Zhang seemed to have a point.
But Xie Tangning decided she still needed to clarify things. “Will the production team at least provide a kitchen and cooking utensils for us to use?”
Knowing Director Zhang’s character, the young woman’s question was exceptionally thorough. She wanted both the kitchen and the tools confirmed.
Director Zhang immediately understood the distrust hidden in her words. He opened his mouth, but in the end couldn’t produce a single counterargument.
Because he really had been planning to play a little word game and trick them one last time!
Xie Changyu instantly noticed the unnatural look on Director Zhang’s face and began pointing at him. “See that? See that?”
“This is Zhang Goudan’s reputation for you! Just look at that guilty face—he’s obviously plotting something nasty!”
With someone taking the lead, Director Zhang was subjected to a thorough two-minute denunciation session.
The assistant director looked at the man beside him, whose face was full of suppressed indignation, and wondered to himself whether this old fellow might have some kind of masochistic streak.
Why else would anyone provoke the guests every day just so they could get yelled at?
This was truly an eye-opener—like slicing a knife across one’s backside!
Only after the little devils had finished letting loose did Director Zhang raise his little loudspeaker again and drop another thunderclap.
“What are you all panicking about? Starting to freak out before letting someone finish speaking makes you look like a bunch of idiots, you know?”
“As long as you can use five hundred bucks to put together a proper-looking finale banquet and earn your director’s approval…”
“Every single one of you will receive a special finale prize~”
Xie Tangning and Xie Changyu, who had fired the first shots, instantly sucked in a breath. In perfect sync, each slapped himself across the face.
Xie Tangning gave a sincere bow. “I’m sorry, Director. I was speaking a little too loudly just now!”
Xie Changyu gave a heartfelt second bow. “I’m sorry, Director Zhang. I spoke without thinking!”
Wu Dacheng blinked a few times. Though he didn’t understand, he followed suit and gave Director Zhang three bows.
“I’m sorry, Director Zhang. In light of the gift, I suppose I can reluctantly forgive you… Ah, no, I mean, you can forgive us!”
Liang Zhou continued trying his best to fit in—not that it had anything to do with the fact that there was something wrong with his brain and he simply had to join in any commotion.
He bowed to Director Zhang as well. “I’m sorry, Director Zhang…”
“Shut up! As proud citizens of Huaguo, straighten your backs!”
Monkey Bro had only bent halfway when Director Zhang hurriedly stopped the rest of the lunatics, who were already eager and lining up to bow to him.
He was terrified that one or two of them might send him straight to the grave the next second.
Xie Tangning and the others immediately straightened their backs and looked at Director Zhang with broad smiles. The scene became bizarrely creepy.
Director Zhang found them inexplicable too. Even his companion spirit treasure had been set aside. He pressed his palms together and returned their bow.
“I’m begging you, I just wanted to beat you once on the final day. Can’t you bunch of jerks let me have this one?”
“Don’t you know how heartbreaking everything becomes when you get old? Do you people have no respect for your elders and no care for the young?”
However, his three questions in a row earned him no sympathy from the guests. Instead, they doubled down.
Shen Lin gave an amused “Oh?” “Director Zhang, you’ve been keeping up with the comments section, haven’t you? You even know about the battle-of-wits games the viewers set up for you!”
Although he had been very busy after finishing the show and hadn’t had time to follow up on each episode, he had still come across several compilations edited by netizens featuring Director Zhang and the guests battling wits.
“So that’s why you suddenly started assigning us tasks and putting us through the wringer again!” Xie Tangning looked as though she’d just had an epiphany. Clearly, she knew about this topic too.
Director Zhang began to whine. “Well, we lost pretty badly, so I wanted to win one back!”
