After watching his guests fool around for quite some time, Director Zhang decided it was about time to remind them of the schedule. He picked up his little loudspeaker and called out:
“Beep-beep… beep-beep. Attention, everyone! Besides the grapes, there are still plenty of other fruits and melons waiting to be picked!”
“If you don’t want tonight’s finale banquet to be ruined because you failed to gather enough produce—”
“Then get moving! Stop fooling around like some lunatic who’s just been released from prison, okay?”
That’s right. When they arrived at Grape Valley, Director Zhang had announced a task that technically wasn’t a task: the guests were to pick enough fruits and melons themselves to prepare for tonight’s finale feast.
Every guest had shown an enormous amount of interest in the assignment. They were absolutely fascinated by the idea of picking and eating fresh produce straight from the fields.
They looked exactly like a bunch of city bumpkins.
“Got it, Director! Stop rushing us. I’m just about to find you the sweetest bunch of grapes!”
“That’s right! Be patient, Director Zhang, or we’ll make you eat the sourest ones!”
“Assistant Director, don’t be jealous. You’ll get some too~”
The little guests’ lively chatter came from all directions, leaving Director Zhang and the assistant director stunned. Both of them were grinning like idiots, especially the assistant director.
He snatched Director Zhang’s companion spirit treasure—the loudspeaker—from his hands and pitched his voice so high it practically smoked.
“Okay~ No need to rush, students~”
“Director Zhang and I will be right here waiting for you~ Don’t run so fast, you might fall~”
Director Zhang couldn’t help rubbing his arms. “Cheng Dong, do you have a variable resistor installed in your throat?”
“I really want to record that dog act of yours and make you watch it yourself so you can see how disgusting you are!”
The assistant director wasn’t embarrassed in the slightest. If anything, he seemed faintly proud. “So what? As the assistant director, caring for the guests is my duty!”
“Got a problem with that? Even if you do, swallow it!”
Director Zhang really couldn’t stand how quickly the man changed his personality. After taking two steps away from him, he began mocking him in a shrill voice.
“But you’ve never said such sweet things to me!”
“We’ve been partners for over ten years, and I’ve never heard you say a single one of them! You jerk, boo-hoo-hoo~”
If you can’t beat them, join them. Director Zhang’s mastery of vocal manipulation was practically divine.
His delivery just now was so exaggerated that the assistant director would need at least three more years of practice to catch up.
“The show might as well officially change its name to Ta Travel Lunatic Asylum. The director isn’t normal either!”
Director Zhang remained unfazed and continued acting crazy. “What? Are you changing the subject because you feel guilty?”
“I knew it! After all these years, our relationship has finally faded, hasn’t it?”
After spending so much time with this group of little devils, Director Zhang had come to firmly believe in one principle:
If you learned to go completely insane anytime and anywhere, you could withstand ninety-nine percent of the damage dealt by sharp-tongued monsters.
Assistant Director: “…”
He’s beyond saving. Take him out and cremate him.
Because they were still thinking about the other fruits, Xie Tangning and the others hurried off toward the cantaloupe farm as soon as they had picked enough grapes.
It wasn’t until they arrived at the final banquet venue prepared by Director Zhang, carrying baskets overflowing with produce, that they suddenly remembered something.
This so-called banquet seemed to consist entirely of fruits and melons.
Could a banquet without meat really be called a banquet?
Xie Tangning stared intently at Director Zhang and cautiously asked, “Director, it’s the last day. You’re going to act like a decent human being this time, right?”
Director Zhang: “…”
Could this brat speak any more tactlessly?!
Xie Changyu had always been perfectly in sync with his little sister, and he was thinking exactly the same thing. His eyes were filled with anticipation as he stared at Director Zhang.
“Say something. Don’t just sit there laying eggs!”
“You’re not seriously planning to serve us nothing but vegetables at the finale banquet, are you?”
Whenever food was involved, Wu Dacheng was always the most enthusiastic. He spoke urgently.
“If you don’t give me meat, I’ll report you for child abuse!”
Liang Zhou’s eyes were practically glowing green. He was determined to defend his reputation as a shameless glutton.
“This finale banquet is so pitiful, Director Zhang. Aren’t you afraid your fellow directors will laugh at you for the next three years?”
Su Xiaoye and Xie Wanwan nodded enthusiastically and hummed in agreement with all of the above.
Faced with the interrogation from this entire gang of little brats, Director Zhang still said nothing, but his face was cursing them so viciously that it practically had subtitles.
Seeing that he still refused to answer, those hungry pigs grew anxious.
It looked as if they might charge over at any moment, grab him by the collar, and demand to know whether the production team had become so poor they could hear their own pockets echoing.
Having witnessed everything, Liang Jiaqing laughed without hesitation.
“See that, Zhang Goudan? This is what your reputation has been for years!”
“Hahahahaha! What a clown~”
Being laughed at by an old acquaintance finally made Director Zhang snap.
“Liang Jiaqing, what are you laughing at?! Believe it or not, I’ll have you crying as you gnaw on vegetable leaves tonight!”
“And you lot—I never said you weren’t getting meat! I haven’t even said a word yet!”
“You’re all standing there with bloodshot eyes, going insane for no reason. If you’re sick, go get treated. If you can’t be cured, get cremated early and save the planet a couple of mouthfuls of air!”
Xie Tangning let out a small gasp. “Director Zhang, your mouth is unbelievably poisonous. You must have learned that from my brother!”
Xie Changyu clicked his tongue and patted her on the head, clearly displeased.
“Don’t slander me!”
“My character today is that of a gentle, kind, and handsome older brother. I’m not playing some deadly poison master, so please cooperate.”
The moment he said that, Liang Zhou looked him up and down.
“Second Brother Xie, are you serious?”
“What do the words ‘gentle’ and ‘kind’ have to do with you?”
As soon as Monkey Bro finished speaking, he, just like his good deskmate, received a light smack.
“Don’t think that just because you’re my little sister’s deskmate, I won’t hit you!”
“Reorganize your words properly and say that again!”
After getting smacked on the back of the head, Liang Zhou’s emotional intelligence finally came online. He immediately began showering Xie Changyu with compliments, his mouth moving so quickly that everyone present was left speechless with admiration.
Liang Jiaqing was especially stunned.
“Liang Zhou! You actually have emotional intelligence and know how to talk!”
“I always thought your emotional intelligence had been crushed by a door along with your brain when you were little!”
Ms. Liang’s face was full of shock. It was completely genuine, with not a trace of acting.
Liang Zhou fell unusually silent.
So in Ms. Liang’s eyes, he had always been an idiot?
Heh. What a wonderful aunt.
Xie Tangning and Wu Dacheng both looked as if they were struggling not to laugh. Their nostrils had even flared two sizes wider from holding it in.
“Reputation! Liang, you’re really improving. Your reputation has actually caught up with Director Zhang’s!”
Liang Zhou instinctively blurted out, “Impossible! I couldn’t catch up with Director Zhang’s reputation even on horseback!”
“Watch what you say, or I’ll sue both of you for spreading rumors!”
Director Zhang: “…”
What a bunch of bastards. They had to drag him into everything!
Being a director was truly hopeless.
The more Director Zhang thought about it, the angrier he became. In a fit of anger, he got angry, grabbed his little loudspeaker, and began honking into it.
He was determined to ruin the group of little devils’ good mood.
“Ahem. Regarding the matter of whether there will be meat, I have a few points to make!”
“First of all… well… basically… it’s like this!”
“Does everyone understand now? If you don’t, then drink the northwest wind for dinner tonight!”
Director Zhang didn’t mean anything by it. He was simply making things difficult for the guests.
The guests: “…”
What a masterclass in saying absolutely nothing—I’ve learned nothing!
