When Dragons Lay Eggs, It’s Just Like Spending Money on Gacha
A quarter of an hour later—
Jiang Xuesheng was deeply regretting his decision.
Just now, while baring his heart to Old Madam Luan and her granddaughter, he had mentioned the White Snake. Since the Luan family had no idea where the “White Snake” came from, they naturally could not guess the hidden meaning behind his words, and were left utterly bewildered.
But Shu Fu, who had spent three years by his side, would certainly have understood the implications.
At that moment, he had made no attempt to hide anything. He had clearly revealed his origins, his tone and bearing utterly reminiscent of three thousand years ago.
When Shu Fu asked him about it afterward, he had not concealed the truth either, readily confirming her suspicions.
Confessing this to Shu Fu had probably been the only impulsive act of his entire life.
Before this, only Liu Ruyi—the world’s sole pureblood honghu—Wu Yao, who might one day transform into a dragon—and Lingbo, Master of Xuanyu Palace as well as Clan Head of the East Sea Moon Jiao, knew the origins of the mysterious, almighty figure known as “Jiang Xuesheng.” Even the Jade Demon King had entrusted his daughter to Jiang Xuesheng for upbringing only because the jiao clan had vouched for him.
The Five Phoenixes. The Jade Rabbit. The merfolk.
By now, he was probably the only one who still remembered that these were the clans said to have remained loyal to the Dragon God until the very end.
Training successors worthy of shouldering great responsibilities was, to him, simply his duty.
As for the yuanchu… After he flattened Lingxiao City, who knew whether he would be able to dig one or two promising talents out of the ashes covering the ground? Perhaps he should consider getting Ling Fengming a new brain.
He had told Shu Fu because he did not want to hide anything from her anymore. At the very least, he did not want her to know nothing about his origins.
As for Shu Fu, Jiang Xuesheng believed that one day, she would be someone to whom he could entrust his life and death.
But he had never expected—
This once-in-a-lifetime impulse would turn her into a walking encyclopedia of questions!
“Sir, regarding the disappearance and reappearance of the Dragon God, I imagine it has something to do with certain secrets, so I won’t pry. But as for everything else, this time I absolutely must get a clear answer.”
That was Shu Fu’s opening statement.
Jiang Xuesheng had originally been sitting there with an air of calm confidence, believing that he could handle whatever came his way. He would answer whatever he could, muddle through whatever he could not, and throw out a vague “Heaven’s secrets must not be revealed” whenever necessary. It was not as if she could do anything to him.
Yet, after the restriction on her speech was lifted, Shu Fu’s very first question was:
“Lord Yinglong is clearly a white dragon, so why did he grow red wings? I’ve never seen an Yinglong like that. Could it be that he—or rather, that Lord Yinglong—also likes plucking phoenix feathers like you do, then making a pair of wings by hand and gluing them onto himself?”
Jiang Xuesheng: “…”
That was it? That was it?!
That was what she wanted to know?!
Jiang Xuesheng had originally prepared the equivalent of a hundred-odd books’ worth of “stories I can currently tell Shu Fu.” Converted into electronic documents, it would have amounted to roughly half a gigabyte.
But he had never imagined that the very first thing Shu Fu would ask about would be something so… utterly irrelevant.
And, to be honest, he did not particularly want to answer.
Seeing him fall into an unusually long silence, Shu Fu stared at him for a moment. Then her eyes suddenly shifted, and she burst out laughing.
“Sir, I was only joking. I’ve never seen you look so serious before. If I didn’t make a joke to cheer you up, we wouldn’t be able to keep this conversation going.”
Jiang Xuesheng let out a forlorn sigh. “Fu’er, that question isn’t funny. Are you sure you really want to know the answer?”
Shu Fu was taken aback. “What? There’s actually a reason?”
—Was it not simply that the dragons of this world had extraordinary natural gifts and bizarre appearances, with every one of them looking as though they had stepped out of a child’s crayon drawing, all bright and colorful?
“Indeed, there is naturally a reason.”
For some reason, Jiang Xuesheng turned his head slightly to the side. He loosely raised a fist to his lips and gave a suspicious little cough.
“I once told you that if divine beasts wish to produce offspring, they can use their own spiritual power to give life. Although the chances of success are one in a thousand, the offspring’s appearance can be decided by its birth parents. It can be made to look however they wish.”
“The Lord Yinglong you mentioned is not a true Yinglong. He was born of a white dragon and a red phoenix. Their spiritual powers merged, and each bestowed some of their own characteristics upon him. Therefore… his appearance is somewhat unusual. He was called an ‘Yinglong’ simply because of an accidental case of mistaken identity that everyone decided to go along with.”
“I see.”
Shu Fu slapped one fist into her palm.
“Then isn’t that just like Big Yellow? No wonder you pay special attention to Big Yellow, Sir. It’s because he looks like Lord Yinglong.”
Jiang Xuesheng: “…”
No. That did not seem to be the case.
And they did not look alike at all. Lord Yinglong was not as fat as Big Yellow, thank you very much.
Shu Fu asked again, “What exactly does it mean to give life through spiritual power? Does it produce a ball?”
Jiang Xuesheng: “…It becomes an egg. Whether it hatches, how many years it takes to hatch, and whether what emerges is a dragon, a fish, or a shrimp—all of that depends on fate.”
Shu Fu: “What if one wishes to defy the heavens?”
Jiang Xuesheng: “Then make more eggs. With a one-in-a-thousand chance, making a thousand eggs may not help, but make ten thousand and there’s a possibility.”
Shu Fu: “…”
—This wasn’t having children. This was pulling gacha in a mobile game’s cursed banner!
By that logic, whenever dragons sat around chatting and discussing their children, their conversations must have gone something like this:
“Hey, what did you hatch this time? Get any SSRs?”
“Ugh, don’t remind me! I spent more than a dozen eggs and got nothing but Rs. Ended up with a whole nest of bighead carp!”
“That old Wang next door sure is lucky. Dragon-phoenix twins, and both of them came up gold in a ten-pull! Is it because he’s a white dragon while I’m a black dragon?”
“Exactly! Look at me—I’m practically shaking with envy. I wanted a girl-ball, but I got a boy-ball instead. Can’t exactly stuff him back in, either.”
“No more spending, no more spending! I’m quitting gacha for my own safety. From now on, I’m proudly childfree!”
…
…
This was far too bizarre.
Although she had spent many years surfing the internet, she had truly never encountered such a wonderfully absurd setup for divine beasts.
Shu Fu could tell that Jiang Xuesheng still had reservations and was not yet willing to explain everything. She did not want to step on any land mines, nor did she want to receive another silencing curse, so she kept skirting around the subject. She changed the topic, beat around the bush, and asked him various harmless questions from the side.
Besides Lord Yinglong’s wings and dragon eggs, she asked whether dragons and humans had reproductive barriers, whether Lord Yinglong shed his feathers, whether dragons really did have two spiked clubs, and, if they did not, how the azure luan had been invented…
Jiang Xuesheng’s answers were: no, no, they didn’t, and the azure luan had invented it because it worshiped dragons and imagined that they were mighty and imposing from head to… toe.
After a back-and-forth exchange, they had not gained much useful knowledge, but they had certainly accumulated a great deal of strange knowledge.
Shu Fu: Nothing much to say. I’m going to Photoshop a reaction image for myself.
Naturally, their aimless chatter took place while they wandered somewhere with a purpose.
Shu Fu had asked Old Madam Luan where the locals would go if they wanted to drive out demons because she was searching for the possible whereabouts of the Flower Children.
Or rather, she was searching for the final destination of the Hua brothers—and the starting point of the Flower Children legend.
She did not want to think in the worst possible direction. But no matter how she speculated, the most likely fate of the two brothers was that they had become sacrificial offerings to the people’s terror.
A thousand years ago, a brutal war had just ended, and the hearts of the people were in chaos. The pair of brothers were seen as the reincarnation of demonic cultivators, and were subjected to all sorts of suspicion and exclusion. Later, a severe drought struck the regions of Yao and Wei. With their suspicions festering into irrational fears, most people would no doubt take the brothers as the source of the drought.
With these two grievances piling up, it was hardly surprising what the people ended up doing — the so-called "demon exorcism".
How was the exorcism carried out, and where?
Why was the "demon" that was driven out later revered as a deity?
That was the crux of the whole matter.
The pair of Flower Children brothers, who had once endured nothing but cold stares and disdain, had now become the immortal divinities worshipped by thousands in the cities of Yao and Wei. It was nothing short of ironic. Even now, when Shu Fu thought back to the resplendent, magnificent Flower Children Temple, the intricately carved golden statues on the altar, and the crowds of common people prostrating themselves in veneration below, he could not help but feel a chill run down his spine.
"'The Demonic Cultivators' Underground Palace'... Sir, do you think such a thing could really exist in the mountains?"
Shu Fu asked, his mind wandering as he recalled Old Madam Luan's warning.
"Where the twigs are twisted, birds come to nest; where there is a hollow, wind will find its way in. Since such a rumor has spread, it must have some basis in reality."
Jiang Xuesheng said after a moment of deliberation, "Moreover, as far as I know... back in the days of the great demonic scourge, the demonic cultivators held immense power for a time. Even the most minor of their followers lived in utter luxury, indulging in every pleasure, and built countless palaces and altars. It is hardly strange that there should be one near Wei City."
Shu Fu nodded in acknowledgement, then asked in confusion, "But isn't Wei City the dwelling place of the Dragon Emperor? How could this be allowed to happen?"
"The Yao and Wei regions have worshipped the Dragon God for generations, so the dragon clans, in return for that devotion, have shown them special favor. But the truth is, the dragons — especially Lord Yinglong — are free-spirited by nature, wandering far and wide across the world, and rarely stay in one place for long. If the demonic cultivators acted in secret, the dragons would very likely not notice a thing."
"What about the Azure Birds? Were the Azure Birds in Wei City back then too?"
"There were a few scattered ones there. The Azure Birds, much like the Honghu birds, are born simple, with not a hint of wariness. They cannot lie, but are constantly being tricked by others."
Jiang Xuesheng's tone was calm, as he suppressed a sigh of exasperation, "That is why the Honghu birds ended up in their current state. Their entire clan was wiped out, and the princess who escaped the massacre died in a foreign land, leaving behind a dim-witted yellow cat that is now being exploited by others. That is why I must teach Ruyi well... ahem."
Shu Fu said, "I... I see?"
Sir, you just dropped so much information, you have revealed a whole lot of hidden things.
It seemed that for all these years, with hardly anyone around to confide in, he had been keeping all these feelings pent up inside him.
But unfortunately, the current situation was pressing, and Shu Fu could not keep chatting with him endlessly.
While they were talking, the barren mountain that Old Madam Luan had mentioned was already looming right in front of them.
It was called a barren mountain, but that was only because people avoided it, making it a rarely visited place. At a glance, it was still lush and green, a vast, undulating sea of trees stretching out before them.
The moment they drew near, Jiang Xuesheng came to a conclusion. "Faint as the trace is, there is indeed demonic energy lingering in this place."
That was the benefit of having a master close at hand, Shu Fu thought to himself.
"Great, then let's go in and take a look..."
Shu Fu was just about to respond, when a clear cry suddenly echoed from the high sky above their heads. A dazzling white shadow dropped down from the layers of clouds.
"Master, Junior Apprentice Sister? What are you two doing here? I thought I was the one supposed to keep watch here."
"Bird — Senior Brother Liu?!"
Shu Fu was caught completely off guard, and stumbled on the blade of his flying sword. "What are you doing here? Wait a minute, does that mean this place is..."
"That's right, this is exactly where Xiao Hanyi was heading."
Liu Ruyi said, gliding slowly beside him in her bird form and nodding her bird head. "Xiao Hanyi fled all the way from the city, heading straight for this place. He just set off a signal flare a moment ago, and now he's running around the mountain like a headless chicken. If you ask me, Demon Lord Ninglu is afraid that he will mess things up, so she only told him the general direction, but not how to get inside the hidden grounds."
Jiang Xuesheng nodded in agreement. "Ninglu is a cautious person, and so are all her subordinates. Even if she is not here in person, they will surely conduct a thorough check to make sure no one is following Xiao Hanyi."
"Right, I thought of that too." Shu Fu clapped his hands together, and nonchalantly patted the white goose-like bird on its rear. "That's why Senior Brother Liu, who can hide his presence and soar through the clouds, is the perfect person for this stakeout mission. So that means the Demonic Cultivators' Underground Palace we are looking for is right in this mountain?"
"'The Demonic Cultivators' Underground Palace'? You mean the residence of Demon Lord Ninglu?" Liu Ruyi did not know the full story, but guessed that the two of them had come here tracking another lead. She did not press for more details, but brought up another topic with a worried look. "But I'm a bit concerned right now. Will Ninglu really let Xiao Hanyi into the underground palace? Because right after he set off that signal flare just now..."
"What happened?" Shu Fu tilted his head and asked.
"...That precious thing he was so proud of, after holding it in for far too long, has exploded right where he stood."
Shu Fu: ".................."
It actually blew up!
...
Fortunately, Demon Lord Ninglu, despite having a huge harem of her own, was not as heartless and only interested in Xiao Hanyi's special skill as they had assumed.
About the time it took to burn one stick of incense after Xiao Hanyi set off the signal flare, a hidden stone door concealed by illusion slowly opened somewhere in the mountain. A line of gorgeously dressed, pretty young girls came out in a file, smiling and forming a circle around him as they looked him up and down.
Amid the swirl of fragrant silk and rustling sleeves, the leading girl covered her mouth and giggled. "Well, if it isn't Noble Xiao? Come right in. The Demon Lord has given orders that when Noble Xiao comes to us for help, we must give him the warmest of receptions."
"Oh my, Noble Xiao! Why is your trousers all covered in blood?"
"Noble Xiao, you are our Demon Lord's man after all. You wouldn't be so unfaithful as to go flirting around and making passes at every stranger you meet out there, would you?"
"We've long heard that Noble Xiao is a man of unmatched beauty, but seeing you now, all tattered clothes and smudged face... you look a bit... heh heh."
Xiao Hanyi, who had just suffered a devastating blow, was so pale he looked like someone who had just given birth to a child. His lips were cracked and blue, and he lay on the ground weakly, barely able to gasp out: "Noble... Xiao?"
The moment he heard that title, his already bloodless face went even paler.
He knew full well that while Demon Lord Ninglu had countless lovers, often seizing handsome men for her harem on a whim, and sometimes even taking both men and women to her bed, he was neither the first nor the last of her consorts. But he had always been so confident in his own seductive charms, certain that he could become her "empress" — no, her imperial consort.
After all, before this, he had tricked so many naive, innocent young girls into falling for him, making him their unobtainable white moonlight and their deepest, most cherished scarlet mole on the heart.
But to think that in Ninglu's eyes, he was not even worthy of being a consort or a high-ranking concubine, but merely a lowly "noble" who did not even rank high in her harem!
Ugh, women!
These high and mighty women who looked down on all men!
His own sister, the current Sky Demon King Xiao Tieyi, looked down on him, and now Demon Lord Ninglu also looked down on him!
Who did they think they were?
Ninglu was nothing but a loose woman who gave herself to any man who wanted her, and as for Xiao Tieyi, who treated him with harsh words and disdain now, years ago when she was still a princess, she had once been badly injured and lost her memories. With her mind filled with nothing but the romantic legends her aunts and cousins had told her, she had even confessed her love to a penniless, destitute scholar — and then got dumped by him!
It was the most humiliating disgrace that the entire nine-tailed fox clan had ever suffered!
After she regained her memories, why didn't she do the decent thing and kill herself out of shame? Instead, she pulled herself together, turned her heartbreak into fuel for ambition, changed her name from Xiao Suyi to Xiao Tieyi, and in just a few short years, rose to become the number one fierce, iron-blooded general under her father, the king. Her father was so pleased that he actually passed the throne to her!
Once Xiao Tieyi took the throne, she never spoke of love or romance ever again. The very first thing she did was kick her own elder brother out of the royal family. Every time Xiao Hanyi thought of this, he ground his teeth in unbridled rage.
Putting on such a holier-than-thou act, when she's nothing but a second-hand reject that no one even wanted when she threw herself at them?
And that Demon Lord Ninglu too, strutting around putting on the airs of a grand empress in front of him. Just wait until she's in the bedchamber, she'll definitely...
She'll definitely...
...
Xiao Hanyi's whole body jolted, and he suddenly snapped out of his own delusional thoughts.
Right.
He no longer has the tool to do the deed.
Even if they ended up in the bedchamber, he wouldn't be able to do anything to anyone. He'd only end up being the one getting done.
Just at that moment, he suddenly felt his whole body lift off the ground. Several pretty, flower-like young girls hauled him up and carried him away like a strung-up pig, chatting and laughing as they walked.
"The Demon Lord said long ago that Noble Xiao is so dissolute and reckless, sooner or later he'd meet his end at the hands of a woman, and that thing down there would be doomed. You ending up in this state? We all saw it coming."
"But we never thought the explosion would blow it to such a total mess, not even a master craftsman could stitch it back together... Noble Xiao, you really do have some wild tastes, huh?"
"Luckily our Demon Lord is merciful. She told us to spare your life and bring you back to the underground palace. Even if that thing down there is useless now, you can still use other parts of your body to entertain our Demon Lord."
"Other parts."
Xiao Hanyi finally realized how terrible his situation was. His voice trembling, he stammered, "O-other... what?"
"Yep," the girl clapped her hands and giggled. "Our Demon Lord has a new little hobby lately. For the well-behaved concubines, she dotes on them more. But for the disobedient ones? She makes them get intimate with the other concubines, and they have to be the one on the bottom. Noble Xiao, don't you think that sounds fun?"
Xiao Hanyi: ".................."
After a split second of dead silence, he suddenly began to struggle like a madman.
"Let go of me!! Let go, you can't, you can't do this to me!! I'm the Demon Lord's man!!! She won't, she won't abandon me——"
"Look at you, talking nonsense like you're in a dream," the girl curled her lip in disdain. "Our Demon Lord? She never runs out of men to keep her company."
