"Is it... done?"
"Yeah, about medium-rare. It's got that aroma now."
After the blinding lightning that illuminated the night faded, Shu Fu and Wu Yao landed together, circling the thoroughly transformed and twitching victim, Qi Yuxuan. They observed him with serious academic scrutiny, occasionally offering scholarly commentary.
As for the other two, Lin Xiaomei, caught off guard and too close, had also been swept into the blast and lay unconscious on the ground. Ye Shusheng, being farther away and a physical cultivator, was unscathed, save for a corner of his robe singed by the lightning.
Shu Fu sighed, "I have a reasonable suspicion that karma is real in this world."
"I don't think so," Wu Yao rolled his eyes. "Otherwise, how could that scrawny chicken, Liu Xiao, who's deceived countless people, still be alive and well?"
"Wu Yao, don't speak nonsense. When have I ever deceived you?" Liu Ruyi protested, stretching his chicken neck indignantly. "I never said I was a woman. Back then, your cultivation wasn't advanced enough to see through my true form, and you developed feelings all on your own. Besides, once I realized your interest, didn't I clearly reject you?"
His beady black eyes shifted, and he sighed mournfully, "Ah, it's just a pity your 'interest' was so vague. Even someone as perceptive as me took over half a year to notice it."
Shu Fu: "..."
It seems this Lich King isn't just a pure-hearted straight man, but also a closet romantic. He could pack his bags and go star in a show called "I Really Want to Annoy You to Death."
Too bad he's ultimately still a straight man, unable to bend as easily as Young Master Bai.
"You dare bring that up! Talking about my cultivation not being advanced enough... I refrained from probing your true form out of courtesy, to avoid being rude!" Wu Yao grew furious at the sight of Liu Ruyi, his pupils slowly contracting into slits, revealing his golden serpent eyes. "You... you! If you had no intention to deceive, just wearing silks and jewels would be one thing, but why... why also..."
Shu Fu interjected, "Why also wear fake breasts?"
Wu Yao's face turned an even deeper shade of green. "Exactly!"
Liu Ruyi stated righteously, "A flat chest doesn't fill out the clothes! You're the one who likes big breasts and misjudged, so whose fault is that?"
Wu Yao: "Who likes big—?! I just thought, someone like you... like that... must undoubtedly be a woman! Who knew even your chest was fake?!"
Shu Fu: "..."
What did I do to deserve eavesdropping on the emotional disputes of two old straight men, especially this kind of ancient grudge?
Ye Shusheng, listening nearby with only partial understanding, felt the conversation between this chicken and snake was terrifyingly profound and beyond his ability to join. He turned to look at the tantalizingly fragrant Qi Yuxuan.
"Isn't this... that 'Prodigy,' the highly regarded Young Master Qi favored by the elders?" He scratched the back of his head, somewhat hesitant to confirm. "I remember Elder Tianji sent disciples to check on him several times. It seems he was already chosen, just waiting for him to formally enter the sect."
Shu Fu nodded. "Yeah. But he's well-done now."
Before her words fully settled, an indescribably shrill scream came from behind them, like long nails scraping a blackboard or hands tearing apart styrofoam.
"Yuxuan! Yuxuan! Yuxuan, what happened to you?!"
Needless to say, Fang Wanqing had arrived.
The moment she saw Qi Yuxuan lying stiff on the ground, her eyes nearly burst from their sockets. Without a word, she hurled a fireball straight at Shu Fu's face.
"Jiang Ruoshui! What have you done to Yuxuan?!"
Having lived a second life, Fang Wanqing could be described as scheming and iron-willed. However, towards Qi Yuxuan, her high-quality, utterly compliant boyfriend, she did harbor some genuine affection. Seeing her boyfriend's life hanging in the balance and, at first glance, seemingly well-cooked, her horror was also sincere.
Shu Fu tilted her head and nimbly dodged, barely suppressing a laugh. "Miss Fang, take a closer look. I'm a sword cultivator. How could I possibly produce this kind of effect?"
"What sword cultivator? You're clearly a—" Fang Wanqing blurted out carelessly, then caught herself and forcefully amended, "You're a sword cultivator, but that doesn't mean you can't use spells!"
The speaker might have been careless, but the listener took note.
Throughout their journey, Fang Wanqing's every step had been calculated with excessive precision, which had long aroused Shu Fu's suspicions. Now, with this slip of the tongue, Shu Fu became certain her guess was correct: Fang Wanqing, like her, knew about "the original Jiang Ruoshui from the story."
Moreover, Fang Wanqing seemed to know even more.
There were three possibilities: Fang Wanqing was either a transmigrator with a system or cheat, an obsessive fan of the original work with a photographic memory, or a native who had been reborn.
Shu Fu pondered briefly, then asked casually and naturally, "Miss Fang, I know of a great master with the surname Ma, named Marx. Have you heard of him?"
Fang Wanqing: "What? Do you mean the Ma family of Hengshan? Why bring them up suddenly?"
Shu Fu: "No reason."
OK, she's a reborn one.
Judging by her immediate use of a lethal move, she likely reborn after the original story's ending, having witnessed Qi Yuxuan and Jiang Ruoshui's happy union while she herself lost everything and ended up in a miserable state, with even her own son calling someone else 'mother.'
A Fang Wanqing reborn under such circumstances, just to vent the grievances of her "previous life," wouldn't let Jiang Ruoshui off easily.
Unfortunately, Fang Wanqing thought she had the script for "White Moonlight's Reborn Counterattack," and Shu Fu's favorite pastime was burning scripts.
Whether it was the abused female lead finally getting her happy ending or the reborn supporting female character wreaking havoc, if it came knocking on her door, she'd burn it all the same.
The reason?
Because it's satisfying!
Shu Fu didn't waste more words on Fang Wanqing. She tapped the prone Qi Yuxuan with her toe, her tone light and cheerful. "Miss Fang, your Lightning-Summoning Talisman is top quality, with outstanding results. Where'd you buy it? Get me one too."
"You—!" Before Fang Wanqing could fully erupt, Qi Yuxuan on the ground convulsed violently again, suddenly turned his head to the side, and vomited a mouthful of black blood with a "wretch."
This sent Fang Wanqing into a complete panic. Forgetting about assigning blame, she rushed forward to check his injuries. "Yuxuan, how are you?!"
She had painstakingly schemed and exhausted her efforts to summon this heavenly lightning to strike her love rival, to nip the danger in the bud. Who could have predicted that man's plans are no match for heaven's designs, and she ended up striking her own lover instead!
Fortunately, her own cultivation was limited. Even with the aid of Master Huaigu's Lightning-Summoning Talisman, the power was only around the Golden Core stage, not enough to kill a talented Foundation Establishment sword cultivator in one blow. If it had been Jiang Ruoshui at the Qi Refining stage, she wouldn't just be tantalizingly fragrant by now—she'd have been turned into a kebab.
Fang Wanqing came from an extraordinary family, always under Master Huaigu's patronage, so she naturally had no shortage of miraculous pills and elixirs. Bottle after bottle of immortal pills and jade dew were poured into Qi Yuxuan as if they cost nothing. Spiritual light flowed through his body as his damaged meridians and charred flesh gradually began to heal.
However, based on Shu Fu's visual assessment, these medicines treated the symptoms, not the root cause. For a considerable time, Qi Yuxuan would have to face the world looking like a charred corpse.
He had finally gotten his wish, becoming the most dazzling new star in the crowd.
Even more pitiful was that this bolt of heavenly lightning had caused significant damage to his entire meridian system. Until his injuries fully healed, his cultivation would stagnate, making no progress whatsoever.
Right now, Shu Fu was only at the peak of Qi Refining. With the Solitary Light Sword in hand, her sword energy could already match his fifty-fifty. By the time Qi Yuxuan recovered, with her rapid, thousand-leagues-a-day advancement, she could easily pin him to the ground and pummel him.
The male lead, Qi Yuxuan, a dragon soaring above all others, could only exist within the pages of the novel "Weak Waters Three Thousand."
One sky cannot accommodate two dragons. Where Shu Fu was present, the outcome was binary: either he died, or she lived. There were absolutely no other options.
However, even Shu Fu hadn't anticipated that the male lead's ordeal this time would go even further.
"Yuxuan, Yuxuan, wake up!"
In her frantic attempt to treat his injuries, Fang Wanqing force-fed him over a dozen different elixirs in one go. Their multicolored spiritual lights flickered alternately, turning Qi Yuxuan into a veritable Christmas tree light display.
Yet, amidst those dazzling spiritual glows, a strand of black qi stubbornly lingered, entrenched deep within his energy sea.
Fang Wanqing sensed something was wrong, her expression shifting. "This is poison?"
"Figured it out?"
Wu Yao's human form hovered without touching the ground, watching with detached indifference. Only then did he speak up coolly, "The Misty Mountain Cloud Python is poisonous throughout its entire body. Earlier, when he was grazed by its scales and then jolted by your heavenly thunder, the poison already seeped deep into his blood vessels."
Fang Wanqing almost lost her composure. "What did you say?"
"I don't repeat myself. If not for your thunder strike, would he be in this state? Getting anxious now? What were you doing earlier?"
Wu Yao held little respect for this cultivator who attacked from behind. His gaze was icy, and his tone naturally wasn't pleasant. "Either quickly force the poisoned blood out for him, or, hurry up and make funeral arrangements."
Shu Fu: "..."
He was a Demon King, after all. Even heartbroken, his methods were anything but vague.
Compared to him, Fang Wanqing, who held Qi Yuxuan's life in her hands, seemed rather indecisive. "How... how do I force the poisoned blood out?"
How?
In the original work, Jiang Ruoshui, heartsick with worry, had seen Qi Yuxuan injured and without hesitation bent down to suck the poison out herself. She was then invaded by the toxic qi, remaining delirious for several days. Had it not been for the timely treatment from the Jiuhua Sect, she would have inevitably been left with lasting damage.
Shu Fu could tell at a glance that faced with a severely poisoned Qi Yuxuan, who resembled a half-cooked charred corpse, Fang Wanqing was hesitating.
She couldn't bring herself to do it.
Shu Fu: Too real.jpg
If not for the presence of others, she really felt like bursting into an impromptu song: "Husband and wife are birds in the same forest; when disaster strikes, they each fly away on their own!"
And the fact that this "disaster" was of their own making made it all the more amusing.
Shu Fu had originally planned to wait and deliver a finishing blow to the personally-arrived Fang Wanqing, but now, schadenfreude made her change her mind.
Wasn't the opportunity to suck out the poison for the male lead, fall into a coma from poisoning, and increase his favorability exactly what Fang Wanqing dreamed of? In that case, the suffering Jiang Ruoshui endured should be tasted by her, one by one.
Look at this medium-well male lead. Isn't he... appealing?
"I... Yuxuan..."
Fang Wanqing was consumed by hatred and fury, but when she looked down and saw Qi Yuxuan's blackened face shedding specks of charred debris, smelling the overwhelming stench of blood and scorched flesh, she seemed nailed to the spot, utterly unable to bring herself closer.
This... this was too disgusting!
Why? In her previous life, Jiang Ruoshui had such good fortune, able to suck the poison out for Qi Yuxuan in his original, unharmed state?
But she couldn't complain righteously, because she was the one who cast the thunder.
Fang Wanqing struggled internally, several times closing her eyes and leaning forward, but her stomach uncontrollably churned with nausea each time, nearly causing her to vomit all over Qi Yuxuan's face.
This concubine cannot do it!
Out of options, she could only vent her impotent rage: "Jiang Ruoshui! Yuxuan was once betrothed to you! Now that he's gravely injured like this, won't you even look at him?"
"Your man, your thunder. What the hell does it have to do with me?"
Shu Fu ignored her furious outburst, turning instead to perform a junior's bow to Wu Yao. "Demon King, this junior seeks your guidance."
What a joke. She hadn't achieved her own goal yet; she couldn't be bothered with the life or death of these fools.
If he died, it would be from his own stupidity.
Ye Shusheng, seeing this, also wanted to step forward, but was met with a sidelong glance from Wu Yao. "This lord is speaking with the young lady. What are you coming up for? She seeks guidance from me. If she brings you along, what would there be left for this lord to teach?"
Ye Shusheng: "..."
He's been looked down upon. Sob.
Liu Ruyi reminded from the side, "Junior Sister, are you really going to fight Wu Yao? He's always been soft on young ladies. Maybe you should try coaxing him..."
Wu Yao: "You shut your mouth!"
