"Cut the cheap tricks. That's just low."
When Shu Fu spoke these words, she didn't deliberately sharpen her tone, nor was there much righteous indignation in it.
From start to finish, she was as if just "casually mentioning it," calmly, almost carelessly, throwing the knife-like words "just low" right into Lin Xiaomei's face.
She had always been kind to others, so this combination of action and verbal attack left Lin Xiaomei momentarily stunned, her mouth half-open in disbelief. "Fellow Daoist Shu Fu, what did you call me?"
"What do you think?"
Shu Fu hugged her sword, looking at her with a hint of amusement. "Surely you don't expect me to comfort you, to say you had no choice, that your reasons are understandable, do you? Fellow Daoist Lin, that strike of yours earlier was genuinely meant to take my life. Even if the whole world could understand you, I probably shouldn't be the one to do it."
"I didn't mean to!"
Lin Xiaomei couldn't help raising her voice, almost forgetting the pain in her leg. "I... I just wanted you to fail the selection! You're not like me. You have talent, you have the elders' favor. Even if you failed, you'd surely—"
Shu Fu raised an eyebrow. "Because my family is well-off, I deserve to be your stepping stone? You think I'm running a targeted poverty alleviation program for you?"
Lin Xiaomei: "..."
Shu Fu could tell Lin Xiaomei bore no killing intent toward her. Her logic was easy to understand—nothing more than the common tactic of sabotaging a competitor, similar to slipping birth-control herbs into someone's meal in a harem drama or putting laxatives in a thermos before an exam. It wasn't the height of evil, but ruining someone's career path is an unforgivable offense, and Shu Fu had no intention of letting it slide easily.
Furthermore, while Lin Xiaomei might lack killing intent, the one behind her, Fang Wanqing, was a different story.
On the other side, Ye Shusheng had finally landed and was frantically hiking up his trousers. By the time he straightened his scholarly attire and tried to interject, another violent tremor shook the ground beneath his feet, nearly sending him sprawling face-first.
"What now?" he cried out nervously, looking around. "What's happening this time?"
No one answered, as everyone was preoccupied.
Only Liu Ruyi frowned, sensing the situation was more complicated. "Oh dear, it seems we've woken him up."
"Him?"
Shu Fu echoed the question, simultaneously grabbing onto the ear of Master Huaigu's statue to keep from being thrown off by the shaking.
"It's a long story."
Liu Ruyi shook his chicken head. "You'll understand when you see him."
This tremor was even more ferocious. A deep, rumbling roar from the earth's core, continuous like spring thunder, instantly swept across the entire island. It was as if a fierce beast was struggling and roaring beneath the ground. In an instant, the sky and earth on the island seemed to change color. Sand and stones flew wildly. No one could keep their footing, and the surrounding ornate pavilions and towers blurred into double images from the violent shaking.
Lin Xiaomei seemed utterly dazed, standing stupefied and at a loss. "This... what is this?"
Before she could finish her sentence, the subterranean thunderclap sound suddenly surged from the distance, rising straight up through the pitch-black abyss, and then—
A massive, emerald-green snake head, half the size of a basketball court and covered in hard scales, emerged unabashedly from the ground, coming to a stop right before Lin Xiaomei's eyes.
"A snake! It's a snake!!"
Lin Xiaomei had never witnessed such a spectacle. Meeting the gaze of those enormous, searchlight-like golden vertical pupils just once was enough to scare her soul out of her body, nearly causing her to faint on the spot. Fang Wanqing's short sword slipped from her hand, clattered once on the ground, and then tumbled into the abyss.
The clear, metallic "clang" caught the giant snake's attention. It halted its movement, its slender pupils slowly turning towards her.
"Ahh! No! Don't come near me!"
Paralyzed with fear and unable to stand, Lin Xiaomei could only scramble backward on her bottom, crying and screaming hysterically, tears and snot streaming down her face. "Help! Somebody help me!!"
"..."
Seeing this, Shu Fu wasn't in a hurry to rescue her. Instead, she turned to Liu Ruyi and asked, "Senior Brother, that snake is...?"
"An acquaintance. Not on good terms."
Liu Ruyi seemed reluctant to elaborate, summarizing succinctly. "Have you heard of the titles 'Seven Demon Lords' and 'Four Demon Kings' out in the world?"
Shu Fu: "..."
Well, it sounds a bit like "Seven Dragon Balls, Four Heavenly Kings." Are you referring to those villains from the original story who got slaughtered by the male lead?
As one would expect of a typical overpowered protagonist, Qi Yuxuan naturally had his share of subjugating demons, defending righteousness, and rescuing beauties. The number of demon and monster heads he'd chopped off was beyond count.
As for the female lead, Jiang Ruoshui, she was practically a gender-swapped Tang Monk. Half the monsters craved her body (to eat), and the other half craved her body (for dual cultivation—to eat in another sense). Shu Fu sometimes suspected it was an ABO novel, with villains just sniffing her out from miles away.
In short: too many cannon fodder, forgotten.
If there was anything she remembered, it was that the original story's final boss was the legendary leader of the "Seven Demons," also known as "Demon Lord Number One."
This demon was sinister, cunning, and deep. He once pretended to be overthrown by "Demon Lord Number Two," faking his death to operate from behind the scenes, secretly manipulating events in an attempt to break some seal or other and open some gateway or other... Whatever. It didn't matter anyway, as the female lead self-destructed to foil his scheme.
Shu Fu didn't want to be the Tang Monk, nor did she want to self-destruct. She wanted to be the overpowered protagonist.
In that case, the demons, monsters, and ghosts that were originally meant for the male lead to deal with naturally fell to her.
So she inquired humbly, "Senior Brother, may I ask, what exactly are these eleven demon lords and demon kings?"
She didn't need to ask to know that, leaving aside the "Seven Demon Lords" for now, one of the "Four Demon Kings" was undoubtedly this mountain-sized giant snake before her.
Then again, how did a proper Demon King end up captured right from the start?
"About that... it's a long story, like a child without a mother—"
Just as Liu Ruyi was about to explain, a thunderous "Hmph!" echoed above them. The slender green snake suddenly drifted closer to Shu Fu and, without further ado, flicked out its crimson forked tongue, wrapping it around her waist.
Shu Fu: "..."
Hello? You crave my body too?
Please don't. Although she liked reptiles, this snake was a bit too large.
The snake's slippery, vivid red tongue coiled around her waist but didn't open its mouth to swallow her. Instead, it used its tongue to lift Shu Fu up and toss her gently onto the top of its own head.
A strong wind whipped past her face on the snake's head. No sooner had Shu Fu steadied herself than her vision blurred, and she came face-to-face with a figure that had materialized out of thin air.
"Whoa!"
She instinctively took a step back, rubbing her eyes, half-suspecting she was seeing a ghost.
"You are...? Who might you be?"
Shu Fu stood on the smooth scales, staring wide-eyed at this inexplicably appeared figure, discreetly sizing him up.
There was no doubt, this was a very handsome man.
The cultivation world was populated with beautiful men and women. Even sweeties like Bai Tian, simpletons like Ye Shusheng, and backstabbing "friends" like Lin Xiaomei all possessed proper, good looks. In modern times, any of them could have been a starlet or a fresh-faced idol.
But this man, even by the cultivation world's standards, was undoubtedly first-class in terms of beauty.
Based on Shu Fu's limited experience, he was probably second only to Jiang Xuesheng and Liu Ruyi in full makeup.
At this moment, appearing atop the green serpent's head, with such a striking appearance, this person was most likely...
"You are... the Serpent Demon King?"
Shu Fu tentatively asked, while subtly glancing at Liu Ruyi. She thought she understood why her senior brother didn't get along well with this demon king.
When beauties meet, rivalry flares.
"What Serpent Demon King? This lord is a flood dragon. What kind of look is that? Rarely is this lord in a good mood today, having taken human form for a look, and you, little girl, are quite rude."
The beauty's face darkened, and he shot Shu Fu an annoyed glance. His gaze fell on her shoulder and he suddenly let out a cold laugh. "Look who it is. Liu Xiao, you were a perfectly good plain boiled chicken. After decades apart, how have you turned into a pheasant?"
"......"
Liu Ruyi's chicken face was grim, his eyes gloomy enough to drip water. "Wu Yao, decades apart, and you remain, as ever, a green-skinned long worm, shining brilliantly green."
Shu Fu: "What, Wu Yao? (Note: 'Wu Yao' sounds like 'dirty demon' in Chinese.)"
Which master came up with such a name? It's truly... something else!
Now, this demon king's true form was a green flood dragon, and he bore the earth-shattering name "Wu Yao" (Dirty Demon), yet his human form was ethereally elegant: eyebrows like distant mountains, hairline sharp as if cut by a knife, radiating an aura of bright moon and gentle breeze, even carrying a faint air of a grandmaster. Only, his thick brows were deeply furrowed, his handsome face pulled long, as if ready to roll his eyes at any moment, clearly someone difficult to get along with.
He wore a snow-white robe and a semi-transparent, emerald-green gauze outer garment, using a slender bamboo shoot as a hairpin to loosely tie up his flowing black hair. The whole person was white tinged with green, a fresh color scheme, like a plate of scallion stewed tofu.
There wasn't a trace of demonic aura about him, let alone any connection to the word "dirty."
Thinking back to Liu Ruyi in his red robes, if the two stood together, it would truly be a case of "red and green, a sight to be seen."
The green-clad demon king stroked the stray hairs at his temple with a haughty demeanor. "Correct. This lord changes neither his name nor his surname. I am precisely one of the Four Demon Kings, the Sorcerer Demon King, Wu Yao."
Shu Fu: "Pfft—"
I underestimated you! You're not just a dirty demon, you're actually the Dirty Demon King!
My apologies, my apologies! (jg)
Shu Fu mentally cupped her hands in salute towards him.
To roam the martial world bearing such a title, this green flood dragon was certainly no ordinary creature; he surely had a great future ahead.
Wu Yao, seeing her stifled laugh, showed displeasure. "Little girl, what are you laughing at? Aren't you afraid of this lord?"
"Of course not!"
Shu Fu was momentarily taken aback by this old-fashioned domineering line and answered bluntly, "If I were afraid, why would I go to all this trouble to come find you?"
She originally wanted to say "come to beat you up," but after a glance at the Sorcerer Demon King's gloomy expression, she swallowed those words.
Wu Yao knitted his long brows, thought for a moment with great displeasure, and found it quite reasonable. "That's true. Without some courage, ordinary people wouldn't dare come here."
But he was still unhappy. "This lord was resting, but you youngsters caused such a ruckus, disturbing my peaceful sleep. Tell me, how will you make it up to me?"
Shu Fu: "How about... you give me a beating?"
Perfect for a sparring session, to practice and see the skills of a demon king.
Wu Yao: "..."
In his thousand years of life, this was the first time he had heard such a request.
You must know, Sorcerer Demon King, this old flood dragon, was terribly finicky, full of princess-like airs, always needing to be coaxed and smoothed, even though he didn't have any fur.
His initial provocation was originally in hopes that this little human whelp would say a few nice words, show some submission, and blow some rainbow farts (flattery). If she coaxed him comfortably, in a moment of happiness, he might just grant her the "three thousand rouge pearls," letting her pass with the top score.
Unlike ordinary demon beasts, as a demon king, he had another agreement with the sect leader. Within this "World Within the Gourd," he was essentially half an examiner.
But he never expected this human whelp to be so hardcore, not only unafraid of him, but actually having the peculiar hobby of eagerly asking for a beating.
So, should he hit her, or not?
Although Wu Yao had a bad temper, his nature was extremely lazy, and he wasn't bloodthirsty or murderous. Otherwise, he wouldn't have signed a contract with a human cultivator like the sect leader, hibernating in this gourd for decades, incidentally playing the role of a dungeon boss.
Every time some audacious trial-taker came to his door, he would deal with them casually depending on the situation, give them a not-too-light, not-too-heavy beating, and let them go when it seemed about right.
If he encountered someone sweet-talking and good at coaxing demons, he wouldn't even hit them.
Think about it, he, the mighty Sorcerer Demon King, a thousand-year-old flood dragon at the Nascent Soul stage, profound in cultivation, already had half a claw stepping into the threshold of transforming into a dragon. Although currently injured, his cultivation had greatly declined, he still shouldn't seriously deal with a minor cultivator.
It's beneath his dignity.
Before Wu Yao could figure out a plan, Qi Yuxuan and Fang Wanqing had hurried up the mountain, fully intending to pick up the pieces and steal the kill.
Seeing the uniquely prominent flood dragon's head from afar, they knew the great demon had appeared. Fang Wanqing, thinking Shu Fu had fallen into the cave and must be either dead or injured, confidently turned to Qi Yuxuan and said, "Yuxuan, with the two of us joining forces, we can definitely take down this great demon."
"Good, I'll go right now."
Qi Yuxuan, filled with tender feelings and eager to show off in front of his beloved, immediately rose into the air on his sword.
Fang Wanqing exchanged a deep gaze with him, suddenly remembering something, and earnestly warned, "This demon might be poisonous. Yuxuan, you must be extra careful, stay far away from it, don't let it injure you."
"Don't worry."
Qi Yuxuan, full of confidence, approached the green flood dragon from the air on his sword, waved his sleeve, and released a fierce sword aura. "Demon, prepare to die!"
His shout, infused with true energy, pierced the clouds and cracked rocks. Even Shu Fu was startled on the spot, thinking, who is this guy?
Such a loud voice, does his damage output rely on shouting?
When she turned her head, she realized "this guy" was the persistently haunting male lead. Instantly, annoyance rose from her heart and restlessness stirred her courage. She backhandedly flung a sword aura, which collided with Qi Yuxuan's in mid-air. They were evenly matched, both scattering into points of flowing light.
This surprised Qi Yuxuan greatly. Looking closely, he finally saw Shu Fu standing on the flood dragon's head. "It's you!"
"It's me."
Shu Fu lifted her chin, rolling her eyes dramatically. "What, trying to steal the monster?"
However, Fang Wanqing did not see this scene.
At this very moment, she was standing far away in a safe zone, her hand forming a thunder seal, preparing to summon a heavenly thunderbolt to strike the green flood dragon's head directly.
She clearly remembered that in her previous life, Jiang Ruoshui had stubbornly clung on, forcing her way into the Purple Jade Gourd with only Qi-training cultivation, pestering incessantly by Qi Yuxuan's side, burdening him with having to protect her all the way.
That green flood dragon looked terrifying, but in reality, it wasn't anything special at all.
If it weren't for protecting Jiang Ruoshui, how could Yuxuan have been injured by its poisonous fangs?
If Yuxuan hadn't been injured, how could Jiang Ruoshui have had the chance to suck out the poisoned blood for him, consequently falling unconscious and earning his pity and affection?
If not for this life-saving favor, which made Yuxuan develop some affection for her...
How could she, Fang Wanqing, possibly have lost to Jiang Ruoshui?
In her previous life, she realized too late, letting this affected woman seize the initiative.
Even though she schemed to turn Jiang Ruoshui's closest friend against her, framed and set her up in every way, she still failed to uproot the grass and eliminate the roots. Instead, she lifted a rock only to drop it on her own foot, ending up abandoned by all and having nothing.
This time, she began setting her schemes even before their encounter, not only spreading rumors but also preemptively winning over Lin Xiaomei, who was destined to become Jiang Ruoshui's closest friend—the future Lin Shan.
She knew everything about the future that was about to unfold like the back of her hand.
Although Jiang Ruoshui's temperament had drastically changed compared to her previous life, becoming almost a different person, Fang Wanqing also knew that deep down, Jiang Ruoshui possessed a desperate, fight-to-the-death ferocity. Pushed to the limit, she would erupt—otherwise, she wouldn't have eventually succumbed to darkness and demonic cultivation in the end.
After repeated probing, she discovered Jiang Ruoshui was unfamiliar with many details from the past life. It was likely she wasn't reborn but had simply been provoked somewhere else, causing her to erupt ahead of schedule.
In that case, there was no need for caution.
As long as Lin Xiaomei succeeded, and Jiang Ruoshui fell into the cavern, she and Qi Yuxuan could play the oriole behind the mantis, defeat the Azure Flood Dragon in one fell swoop, and thereafter, the path would be smooth and clear.
"Jiang Ruoshui, you'd never imagine this, would you?"
Fang Wanqing raised her head proudly, a triumphant, smug smile gracing her lips. "Heaven has eyes, allowing me to live a second life to ensure your utter annihilation."
"Let me send you off on your journey to the underworld."
With a graceful flick of her fair hand, she aimed at the cave at the island's center and, without hesitation, activated a thunder incantation.
Once Jiang Ruoshui fell inside, even if she clung to a last breath, she wouldn't escape this thunderous, overwhelming strike. For this purpose, Fang Wanqing had even deliberately acted coquettishly and obedient, coaxing a priceless, high-grade Thunder-Summoning Talisman from Master Huaigu to amplify the thunder technique's power a hundredfold.
Meanwhile...
"Wu Yao, can you fly?"
At this critical moment, encountering the male lead trying to steal her target, Shu Fu's good mood plummeted, comparable to having a really bad day. Since the male lead had appeared, Fang Wanqing's sneak attack probably wasn't far behind. It was better to prepare to counter it sooner rather than later.
She paid no more mind to Qi Yuxuan, instead turning politely to Wu Yao, who was still pondering "to fight or not to fight, that is the question," and suggested:
"You see, I arrived first, yet this person insists on rudely cutting in. How about we change locations, and I can seek your guidance there?"
Shu Fu and Qi Yuxuan's attitudes were worlds apart, and they clearly weren't on the same side. As an ancient flood dragon who needed to be coaxed, Wu Yao naturally preferred to give the opportunity to Shu Fu.
"Very well, I shall grant you this request."
He snorted haughtily from his lofty position, then rose, lifting Shu Fu onto his head and soaring into the sky.
Only then did Shu Fu belatedly realize this Azure Flood Dragon was indeed not a snake. On his slender body, there were also four adorably short little legs.
Shu Fu: "Pfft."
She had barely made that sound when she felt a cold breeze brush past her cheek—Wu Yao's human form had somehow produced a green bamboo stalk, using it as a sword, and thrust it toward her with lightning speed!
Caught off guard, Shu Fu hastily retreated two steps to avoid it. The pheasant transformed by Liu Ruyi on her shoulder squawked loudly, "Wu Yao, you green-skinned worm! You practice the Path of Joyful Union, how can you be so lacking in chivalry, attacking without even a warning?"
"What?!"
That statement was more shocking than Wu Yao's thrust. Shu Fu's pupils shook with disbelief, nearly sliding off the flood dragon's head. "The Path of what now?"
You've got to be kidding! Although his name sounds like "Wuyao" (akin to 'dirty demon'), he looks every bit like a millennia-old single flood dragon!
Wu Yao's face darkened. "Shut up."
"Junior Sister, you don't know," Liu Ruyi, determined to oppose him, rushed to explain before Wu Yao could react. "Wu Yao's clan is called the Wushan Cloud Flood Dragons. They possess extraordinary innate gifts, but they can only achieve the Dao through the Path of Joyful Union. Unwilling to engage in flower-plucking (forceful seduction), he repeatedly has to lower his stature to pursue a desired partner for dual cultivation..."
Shu Fu: "Did he pursue you when he was young, only to discover you were packing, and then beat you up in a rage? Is that why you two don't get along?"
Liu Ruyi jolted in surprise: "How did you know?!"
So it really was!
You sinful bird, how many innocent straight men have you victimized?
"......"
Having his old secret exposed out of the blue, Wu Yao's face turned as green as his scales. He wished he could pluck this pheasant's feathers and roast it over a fire. "Liu Xiao, you've grown quite bold. Don't think just because Jiang Tan backs you, I wouldn't dare to—"
Whether Wu Yao dared to touch Liu Ruyi, Shu Fu didn't know. But she did know Qi Yuxuan was certainly daring enough to act.
Because at this very juncture, Qi Yuxuan, relentless, pursued on his flying sword and swung another sword aura at Wu Yao.
Qi Yuxuan: "Monster! Are you afraid? Fleeing is useless! Today, I will definitely slay you with my swor—"
Wu Yao: "SCREW OFF!"
A flick of the flood dragon's tail hit squarely on Qi Yuxuan's devastatingly handsome face.
"—rd! WAAAH—!!!"
Wu Yao, a great demon who usually held back like releasing a flood, momentarily forgot to control his strength due to shame and fury, thus sending the spirited male lead, the heaven's favored son Qi Yuxuan, flying.
As for Shu Fu, adhering to the basic principle of "kick them when they're down," she immediately directed her Guanguang Sword to parry the spiritual sword that could have caught Qi Yuxuan, letting him experience a free fall from a hundred feet high.
That height alone shouldn't have caused him much injury.
Unfortunately, the hundredfold heavenly thunder summoned by Fang Wanqing, delayed by a few seconds, chose precisely this moment to strike.
Fang Wanqing had aimed at the cave.
Wu Yao and Shu Fu had already flown away from the cave.
Ye Shusheng followed closely behind, ready to help at any moment.
Qi Yuxuan was currently falling toward the cave.
And there was also the distraught Lin Xiaomei, collapsed at the edge of the cave.
Question: Who among the above would get struck by lightning?
"Jiang Ruoshui, you— AAAAAAAAH—!!!"
"......"
After a magnificent display of lightning and thunder, Shu Fu sniffed the faint scent of something charred floating in the air and innocently spread her hands:
"You might not believe it, but I didn't expect this either."
"Could it be... this move is the legendary 'I killed myself'?"
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