No Beauty Under Heaven Could Surpass His
With a click, the door swung open.
By all rights, the wards Fengyi Sect had placed around the treehouse should have been exceptionally sturdy. But before Xie Fangnian, a master lockpicker, any spell was as flimsy as folded paper—utterly incapable of withstanding a blow.
“Hello? Hi? Sorry to intrude.”
Shu Fu gave the door two cautious knocks before stepping inside, pausing at the entrance to scan her surroundings warily.
Clearly, the treehouse had been expanded by an array. Its interior was far more spacious than its exterior suggested. Like the main hall of Fengyi Sect, it was lavishly adorned with carved beams and painted rafters, glittering with gold and jade. Fragrant parasol wood lined the walls, and the whole place resembled a magnificent banquet hall.
Yet in Shu Fu’s eyes, it looked more like an exquisite birdcage decked in gold and gems.
At a glance, she spotted something lying quietly in the middle of the cage: a snow-white, fluffy creature with its head tucked beneath its wings, as large as two people put together—
—a Fat Cheep.
Shu Fu: “Huh?”
No, wait a second.
No matter how she looked at it, this was a Fat Cheep, wasn’t it?
Its body was plump and round, covered in fine, soft, fluffy silver-white feathers. Its tail was folded like a fan, while tiny pale-yellow claws peeked out from beneath the down on its belly.
Yes. It was a Fat Cheep.
A giant, genuine Fat Cheep.
Or, by its proper real-world name, one of the sweetest and cutest birds in the world—
the silver-throated long-tailed tit.
Shu Fu: “?????”
What was going on with this secret realm?
First there had been a sesame rice-ball panda, then a glutinous-rice-ball baby seal, and now a chubby Fat Cheep?
Could it be that someone had sinister intentions and was trying to defeat the contestants with cuteness???
“This fat—fat bird is the most powerful spirit beast in the secret realm?”
Shu Fu turned to Xie Fangnian and asked, her face full of disbelief.
“This is no ordinary fat bird.”
Unlike Shu Fu, Xie Fangnian’s words also carried a trace of uncertainty, though he maintained his composure. “This bird is called a Guanguan. Like the Bifang, it once belonged to the phoenix clan and was deeply trusted and cherished by them.”
Shu Fu: “Huh???”
You’re lying! I don’t believe you!
This was clearly a Fat Cheep!
Xie Fangnian muttered to himself, “But the Guanguan also… By all accounts, they should have gone extinct long ago.”
“Extinct?”
Xie Fangnian ignored her. He toddled forward on his short little legs and placed one cat paw against the Fat Cheep’s belly.
“Indeed. It is a Guanguan. Male, late Golden Core stage, approximately three hundred years old. There are traces of gu poison in its body.”
Before long, he delivered his conclusion in an even tone. “Who knows what strange circumstances it encountered, to have ended up in a nest of wild pheasants and been used by them as a prize to show off. For a former attendant of the divine phoenixes, this is an exceptionally humiliating state of affairs.”
“Then… perhaps you should detoxify him first?”
Shu Fu was always endlessly tolerant toward small animals, even when the “small animal” in question was built like a little hill. “Any questions can wait until he wakes up. Then we can simply ask him.”
“Fair enough.”
Xie Fangnian nodded in agreement. With a flick of his tail, he set up a new restriction at the door. Then, applying a slight pressure, he sank his cat claws into Fat Cheep’s soft, fluffy down and called out sharply:
“Wake up, you fool!”
“?!!”
Caught completely off guard, Fat Cheep shuddered from head to tail as a powerful surge of spiritual energy entered his body, as though he had been struck by lightning. The feathers all over him puffed up, making the whole bird look twice as large.
“Who? Who’s calling me??”
“Hmph.”
Xie Fangnian snorted irritably. Turning to Shu Fu, he said, “Close your eyes.”
Then, in a flash, he transformed into human form, instantly dressed himself, and summoned a wheelchair behind him with a wave of his hand. It caught him just as he fell backward into the seat.
He tapped the wheelchair’s armrest with one finger and said coldly, “Speak. What happened?”
For some reason, seated in that wheelchair, Xie Fangnian seemed as though he were enthroned upon a lofty seat, possessing an innate majesty that looked down upon all living things. Though pale-faced, slight of build, and a head shorter than everyone else, he nevertheless gave people the strange impression that he was looking down on them.
“I... you...”
Fat Cheep still looked as though he had only just awakened from a great dream. He shook his feathers blankly, his round black-bead eyes wide as he stared fixedly at Xie Fangnian.
“Who are you? Are you from the Song family?”
Xie Fangnian’s gaze turned icy. “I’ll give you one chance to reconsider your wording. I do not wish to hear such an insult a second time.”
“Fat—Guanguan, why are you here?”
Seeing that Fat Cheep still wore a vacant expression, as though he was not the brightest bird in the flock, Shu Fu stepped in to explain.
“This is the venue for the Fengyi Sect’s autumn hunt. You are the strongest spirit beast here, and you were meant to be subdued by the Young Sect Leader. We simply got here first.”
She tried to jog Fat Cheep’s memory. “Before you were imprisoned in this secret realm, do you remember what happened? For example... the gu poison?”
“The Song family... Fengyi Sect... Young Sect Leader... Right! I remember now!”
Fat Cheep suddenly snapped back to his senses. Flapping wildly, he rolled upright and bounced anxiously in place twice.
“No, no! I can’t waste time here. I have to leave—I need to find the Princess, quickly! The Princess is still waiting for me!”
Xie Fangnian’s brows shifted slightly. “The Princess? Which princess?”
“Who else could it be?”
Fat Cheep stamped about in agitation, shaking loose feathers that fluttered all over the floor.
“The youngest princess of the Feng Clan—Feng Jinyu!”
“What?!!”
Shu Fu and Xie Fangnian raised their voices in unison.
Xie Fangnian immediately realized he had lost his composure. He swiftly rearranged his expression, cleared his throat with conspicuous deliberation, and softened his tone.
“What happened? No one will interrupt us now. Start from the beginning, and do not leave out a single detail.”
“Mhm, mhm.”
For some reason, Fat Cheep felt a heavy pressure bearing down on him. He nodded obediently and began to explain.
“My name is Xie Anzhi. I am a Guanguan...”
Shu Fu said, “Xie?”
Xie Fangnian said, “Quiet.”
The Fat Cheep surnamed Xie continued, “Our Guanguan clan originally served as close attendants to the phoenix clan, and for a thousand years, we followed at their side. But for that very reason, we became targets of the demonic cultivators. We were attacked time and again, and our numbers steadily dwindled…”
Shu Fu recalled Jiang Xuesheng’s account, and her heart sank heavily.
—After the seal was completed, with the Dragon Lord, the Phoenix Lord, and the leaders of every clan gone, what had become of the dragon and phoenix clans left in the world, facing the demonic cultivators’ relentless reprisals and counterattacks?
Shi Chunyu had made a painful decision. She led the Qingluan clan into seclusion deep in the mountains, cutting themselves off from the outside world and laying down layer upon layer of great protective formations around their home. Only then had they secured a thousand years of peace.
But the other clans—
The dragons, who had to hold the wider situation together; the proud luanchu; the upright yuozhuo and phoenixes; the honghu who labored tirelessly in anticipation of the Dragon and Phoenix Lords’ return…
What could have become of them?
There was no need to think too deeply to guess the answer.
Sure enough, the Fat Cheep, Xie Anzhi, continued:
“The phoenix clan already had difficulty producing heirs, but the Phoenix Lord stubbornly insisted on preserving the purity of their bloodline and had always refused intermarriage with other races. As time passed, the phoenix clan grew smaller by the day, and it became harder and harder for them to withstand the demonic cultivators’ attacks. The Phoenix Lord was proud by nature and adamantly refused to hide away from the world, which only made matters worse.”
“My mother, Xie Fanghua, was the leader of the Guanguan clan. She tried her utmost to persuade the Phoenix Lord, but to no avail, so she had no choice but to make other plans. Mother said she wanted to summon the souls of the phoenix clan’s ancestors. Only then could she change the current Phoenix Lord’s mind and preserve a path to survival for the phoenix clan.”
Shu Fu said, “Xie Fanghua?”
Xie Fangnian said, “I told you to be quiet.”
He turned his palm over. A wisp of smoke curled upward from it, sketching the outline of a woman’s face in the air.
Xie Fangnian said slowly, “The mother you mentioned—is this woman?”
Xie Anzhi’s eyes lit up. “Yes, that’s my mother! Do you know her?”
“No.”
Xie Fangnian shook his head indifferently. “Go on. What happened after Xie Fanghua performed the summoning?”
“After that…”
As Xie Anzhi spoke, the light in his eyes gradually faded. His whole body curled into a round little ball. “The summoning failed. The phoenix ancestors did not appear.”
“On the day Mother carried out the summoning, the demonic cultivators… it is said that the Demon Lord, Zhao Jiuge, led his followers in surrounding Mount Qiwú and slaughtered the phoenix clan to the last.”
“Every elder in the clan still capable of fighting refused to surrender. They either died in battle or took their own lives. Mother, too, exhausted her strength and perished. Only the young fledglings remained. Every one of them was seized by the demonic cultivators and taken back to the demon realm as ‘merchandise’ and ‘materials.’”
“…”
Shu Fu drew in a sharp breath.
After Jiang Xuesheng awakened and learned that the phoenix clan had vanished, the first place he went was Mount Qiwú. Yet all he found was a barren, empty mountain, not a single tile left behind.
No one knew what had once happened there.
In the end, he had still arrived one step too late.
Afterward, Jiang Xuesheng hurried to the honghu clan.
Just like the phoenix clan, the direct bloodline of the honghu had been wiped out by the demonic cultivators. Only a single, solitary bird’s egg had escaped their search by sheer luck.
Jiang Xuesheng brought the roc egg back to Xuanyu Palace. Surrounded by countless celestial maidens, he hatched Liu Ruyi—the Calamity of the Mortal World.
Yet the tragedy that had already unfolded could never be undone.
“And then?”
Struggling to keep her voice even, Shu Fu pressed on. “When the demonic cultivators surrounded the city, how did you escape?”
“Afterward, the princess and I were separated from the others and ended up in the demonic realm. We were thrown into a black market to await our fate. One by one, our companions were sold off or killed. Before it was our turn, some of them helped us escape…”
As Xie Anzhi spoke, his little eyes flickered, as though flames of rage were dancing within them.
“We hid and fled all the way east, spending years before we finally escaped the demonic realm. We thought we had survived against all odds—only to run into Song Yayan!”
…
Meanwhile, Song Yayan and Zhong Yingcui were locked in an endless dispute with Jiang Xuesheng, who was playing the part of the “virtuous wife and devoted mother.”
“Oh, what is there to argue about? You claim my husband molested you? That is obviously slander.”
Faced with Zhong Yingcui’s accusation, Jiang Xuesheng threw himself wholeheartedly into his performance. Every glance and expression brimmed with deep affection for “Shu Daqiang.”
“My husband is utterly devoted to me. We are deeply in love, a model married couple—how could he possibly be ‘tempted by another woman’s looks’? Besides, if we’re talking about looks…”
He casually lifted one corner of his veil, revealing a face beautiful enough to shame fish and make geese fall from the sky. His thin lips curved in a mocking smile.
“Is there anyone in this world more beautiful than I am?”
Zhong Yingcui: “…”
Song Yayan: “…”
Well, he wasn’t wrong. There really wasn’t.
Zhong Yingcui inwardly cursed her bad luck, but when it came to shameless persistence, she would lose to no one. She immediately changed tack.
“With all due respect, Madam Shu, I imagine you are somewhat older than I am. Perhaps your husband has grown tired of you and wants to sample a younger beauty?”
Zhong Yingcui was truly bold. If Shu Fu had been there, she would probably have immediately bestowed upon her the title of “Queen of Dancing Through Minefields.”
The kind who danced wildly one second, only to be blasted into the sky the next.
Sure enough, Jiang Xuesheng did not change expression. Without a moment’s thought, he poured gasoline onto the flames.
“‘Beauty’ is what you call yourself? Little sister, go look in a mirror. Your face is square enough, and there’s a whole swamp on it—your brows and nose have practically sunk right in.”
“A phoenix a thousand years old, or a three-year-old wild chicken—which do you think my husband would choose? No matter how young the chicken is, it’s only good for eating. Pluck it and toss it into the pot—who would ever want to get close to it?”
Zhong Yingcui: “You—”
Jiang Xuesheng: “Besides, if he truly fancied your face, he would at least have shown it some mercy. Why would every punch land squarely on it, beating you like a slab of pork? From where I stand, it seems more likely that you tried to molest my husband. He found you too hideous to bear and had no choice but to teach you a lesson with his fists.”
Unable to withstand the barrage, Zhong Yingcui turned and threw herself into Song Yayan’s arms, sobbing pitifully. “Brother Yayan, look! That husband-and-wife pair are both bullying me!”
“…”
Song Yayan had a secret, little-known vice: he loved watching beauties tear into each other—especially when they were fighting over him.
If it had nothing to do with him, the pleasure of it would be greatly diminished.
Thus, hearing Jiang Xuesheng refer to “my husband” at every turn, he found it immensely disappointing. His interest waning, he cut in listlessly, “Yingcui, Madam Shu, there’s no point arguing like this. Why don’t we climb the giant tree together, find Fellow Daoist Shu, and ask him face-to-face?”
Naturally, that was only what he said aloud. What he was really thinking was:
The warding formation around the treehouse had been personally set by Father. Shu Daqiang was merely a Golden Core cultivator—there was no way he could break it. By now, he was surely running around in a panic.
Then I’ll arrive after the fact, effortlessly dispel the formation, and easily subdue that fat bird... Not only will I thoroughly humiliate Shu Daqiang and stand up for my fiancée, but I’ll also make Madam Shu see me in a new light—and grow disgusted with her lecherous, incompetent husband.
Given enough time, perhaps it might even become the beginning of a romantic tale.
“...Huh?”
Song Yayan had been calculating all the way there, but the instant they reached the treehouse, he was struck as if by lightning. His composure shattered, and every one of his schemes became a joke.
This formation...
This formation...
What the hell was this formation? He’d never seen anything like it before!!!
Jiang Xuesheng let out a soft laugh, then fanned the flames in a gentle, delicate voice. “Young Sect Leader, why aren’t you going in? Didn’t you say we should ‘ask him face-to-face’? Could it be that the Young Sect Leader is all show, and in truth... can’t even get in to see my husband?”
“T-That’s impossible. I can solve this formation. I’ll definitely solve it!”
Song Yayan had no time to answer him. Sweat beaded on his brow as he hurriedly poured every scrap of his lifelong cultivation and spellcraft into trying to unravel the intricate techniques at the entrance, as complicated as a nine-link puzzle.
Unfortunately, his “lifelong” experience was far too brief, and he could hardly be called diligent. It had neither breadth nor depth. Like a shriveled, dried-out towel, even if wrung until not a single drop remained, compared to Xie Fangnian’s mastery of the arcane arts, it was no more than a tiny stream flowing into the sea—vanishing without a trace in an instant.
Just as he found himself unable to retreat, his robes soaked through with sweat, a sharp click rang out. The wooden door that had remained utterly motionless suddenly opened from within.
“It opened! I broke it!”
Song Yayan’s face lit up with joy. Unconsciously straightening his back, he was just about to step forward—
In that instant, a streak of silver flashed past. His vision blurred.
—It was sword light.
The frigid gleam of the blades dazzled Song Yayan’s eyes. Then, amid a howl of wind, two massive swords, broad as door panels, came hurtling after it.
“Wah...?!”
The two heavy swords struck dead center—one smacked Song Yayan squarely in the face, the other slammed into his chest. Like a pancake being flipped from a griddle, they sent his entire body flying into the air and knocked him off the top of the towering, cloud-piercing tree!
