By the time they returned from the pedestrian street, it was already past eight in the evening.
The moment the door opened, Qinian sat up straight on the sofa. “So you do know how to come back?”
He glanced at the time, then at the paper bag in Shen Wu’s hand. “Oh, I see. Did you two go out on a mission, or were you on a date?”
Shen Wu shot him a look. “Yes, we were on a date. We even held hands. Want to hear the details?”
“Shen Wu!” Jiang Nuan glared at him.
What an expert at stirring up trouble!
Qinian leaned back against the sofa and looked up at the ceiling. “Fine. A date is a date. You held hands, so what?”
Then he suddenly sat upright again, narrowing his eyes dangerously. “Oh, so you left me behind, did you?”
“Did you also walk shoulder to shoulder? Share a cup of milk tea? Hmm?”
Jiang Nuan stared at him. “…What exactly are you imagining?”
Ye Que came over, took Jiang Nuan’s hand, and led her to sit beside him on the sofa.
His brows drew together. “It’s cold outside. Couldn’t you have come back sooner?”
“Rehearsal didn’t finish until after six,” Jiang Nuan explained as she accepted a cup of warm water Jiang Ce had brought over.
Qi Sui took a chestnut from the bag, peeled it, and tasted it. He then gave his younger brother’s arm a light pat.
“Nian Nian, these chestnuts really are good.”
He handed the peeled chestnut to him and coaxed him gently, “Don’t be angry. Have one.”
“I’m not angry,” Qinian denied promptly, but his hands had already begun peeling chestnuts.
He put the first one he peeled directly to Jiang Nuan’s lips. Only after watching her eat it did the corners of his mouth relax a little.
Chen Ping'an hugged Jiangjiang in the corner, doing his best to make himself look indistinguishable from the floor lamp beside the wall.
When Lu Shiyan emerged from the study, the voices in the living room quickly fell quiet.
The simple map of the interior of the Lighthouse base that Jiang Nuan had drawn was projected into the air. The people who had just been bickering all composed themselves at once.
That was the Lighthouse.
In the previous era, it had gathered the highest-level ability users and had once been regarded by countless people as the last hope.
Even though the Lighthouse before them was merely an old image recreated from the restricted zone, no one dared to take it lightly.
Lu Shiyan made no attempt to reassure them. He simply went over the possible changes that might occur tomorrow night, one by one.
Every decision he made was crisp and decisive, without the slightest hesitation.
Jiang Ce stared at the map for a moment before speaking in a low voice. “If we clash with the Lighthouse head-on, we won’t stand a chance.”
“It’s not that we have no chance.” Ye Que leaned in the shadows, his tone cool. “It’s that our chances are extremely low.”
Qinian raised his brows. “That doesn’t sound much better than what Brother Jiang Ce said.”
Qi Sui reminded him gently, “So everyone needs to keep themselves under control tomorrow night. Especially you.”
“Brother, whenever you say something like that, could you try not to look only at me?”
“Because you’re the one with the least self-control.”
Qinian was rendered speechless.
“We’re not going to war with the Lighthouse tomorrow night.”
Lu Shiyan’s gaze swept over everyone.
“We only need to find the snake-patterned wood that’s been tampered with and destroy it completely. Whatever unexpected situations arise, our first priority is to withdraw. No one is allowed to take matters into their own hands to fix anything, and no one is allowed to risk their life just to buy time.”
Shen Wu looked up. “What if the worst happens?”
Lu Shiyan answered without the slightest hesitation. “I’ll bring everyone back.”
It might not have been a promise, but everyone’s shoulders relaxed a little all the same.
When the discussion ended, Lu Shiyan told them to go to bed as soon as possible and did not ask anything else.
Jiang Nuan lay in bed, still unable to sleep.
Zero, the experiments, Song Huaicheng, her sealed memories, and the unpredictable danger awaiting them tomorrow night crowded her mind. Even closing her eyes felt exhausting.
The heating in the room was turned up too high. After tossing and turning several times, she finally threw off the covers and went to the kitchen for a bottle of ice water.
The living room was dark, lit only by the faint glow coming through the windows.
It was only after opening the refrigerator that she noticed Lu Shiyan sitting beside the breakfast bar in the open kitchen, with half a glass of whiskey at his hand.
“You’re not asleep either?” Jiang Nuan twisted open the bottle and took a drink. The cold slid down her throat, but it did nothing to wash away the troubles crowding her mind.
“Neither are you,” Lu Shiyan said.
She turned her head and met his eyes.
The usual scrutiny and pressure were absent from them. The alcohol had left his eyes slightly hazy and, unusually, revealed a hint of weariness. “Can’t sleep?”
Jiang Nuan nodded. Suddenly, she did not want to return to her room alone.
She walked around the bar and sat down in the chair beside him. “During rehearsal today, Lu Zhaoming brought you up.”
Lu Shiyan’s hand stopped in midair, the glass still in it. “What did he say about me?”
“He said your control over your spatial ability was highly developed, and that your judgment on the battlefield was outstanding.”
Only after she finished did Jiang Nuan realize something was off about the way that sounded. It almost seemed as if she had been praised too.
She cleared her throat and tried to fix it. “Anyway, it was just a normal assessment. Nothing more.”
Lu Shiyan let out a low laugh and tipped his head back to take a sip of whiskey. “Is that so?”
He swirled the remaining liquor in his glass. “He’s always been good at praising other people.”
Jiang Nuan caught the strange note in his voice. “Did he not praise you before? I mean, when you were young.”
Lu Shiyan fell silent for a moment. “Rarely.”
“How rarely?” Jiang Nuan rested her chin on one hand.
“Rarely enough that I can’t remember.”
Jiang Nuan turned to look at him.
Lu Shiyan had never taken the initiative to speak about his past, much less mentioned his disappointment in his father.
Tonight, he seemed different.
“When I was young, after every lesson and ability-training session, the first thing I heard was never ‘Well done.’”
Lu Shiyan lowered his eyes to the glass in his hand.
“It was, ‘Let’s review what could have been done better.’”
“While my mother was still alive… he was rarely home. Even when he did come back, most of the time he only checked the results of my training.”
“Back then, I thought that if I performed well enough, he would stay a little longer.”
Jiang Nuan remembered young Lu Shiyan at Song’s Chestnut Shop, that quiet, well-behaved child whose manners toward strangers had been impeccable.
So this was what had been hidden behind that precocious composure…
“But he can recognize how capable you are without even knowing who you are now,” Jiang Nuan said softly. “If he knew you were his son, he’d be even prouder of you.”
Lu Shiyan’s fingers rubbed against the side of his glass. “Maybe.”
Jiang Nuan sighed. “Or maybe he simply doesn’t know how to express himself. Maybe he doesn’t know how to express love, or was too busy and neglected you.”
“Doesn’t know how to express love.” He repeated the words.
After a moment, he said quietly, “That sounds almost like you’re making excuses for me.”
Jiang Nuan froze.
Lu Shiyan turned his head to look at her. “…Or rather, what I did to you before can’t even be excused as not knowing how to express myself.”
“I used my identity and the rules to trap you in a position with no way out, forcing you to accept too many things you never wanted to accept.”
Lu Shiyan’s voice remained restrained. “I have no right to explain away the harm I caused as love.”
“That’s right.” She answered frankly. “That’s how we began.”
Lu Shiyan’s Adam’s apple moved slightly. “I’ve imagined it many times.”
“If I were just an ordinary person in the apocalypse, without the identity of Zero Squad Captain and without any way to use the rules to keep you under control…”
“Then do I have the right to ask you one question—whether you’re willing?”
She knew what he was asking: whether, after seeing through his control, possessiveness, and schemes, she was still willing to take one step toward him.
Jiang Nuan was silent for a long time.
“Identity isn’t what gives you the right,” she said. “The fact that you’re asking me at all does.”
“You’re asking me now, Lu Shiyan.”
There was silence on the other end for several seconds. Even his breathing seemed to disappear.
Jiang Nuan watched the beads of condensation sliding down the bottle of ice water.
“But I can’t answer you right now.”
“I don’t completely hate you, but I can’t just accept you like this, either.”
“Sometimes I feel that you treat me well. But whenever I think about how we met, about the things you’ve done, I get scared again.”
Lu Shiyan took a sip of wine. After a moment of silence, he asked, “Then what should I do?”
This was probably the first time Jiang Nuan had ever heard him say something like that.
He was truly asking her.
“Expressing love isn’t something you can break down like a task. There’s no measurable standard for it, either.”
Lu Shiyan frowned slightly. “So it’s easier to get wrong.”
Jiang Nuan thought carefully.
“How do you express it…”
“The simplest way is this: when you want her, pause for a moment and wait for her to come to you on her own.”
Lu Shiyan stared at her without moving.
Jiang Nuan met his gaze.
“That’s the difference.”
“Taking her directly is desire. Waiting until she’s willing to come to you too—that’s love.”
The kitchen fell silent for a long time.
Lu Shiyan released his grip on the wineglass, turned around, and slowly extended a hand toward her.
His palm faced upward, suspended between them.
Jiang Nuan lowered her eyes to stare at that hand.
She remembered its warmth and strength, and all the details that had once made her tremble even when she couldn’t pull away.
But at this moment, that hand simply rested there in silence.
…He really was a quick learner.
Jiang Nuan was exhausted. Every single thing forced her to keep her nerves taut, and it had been far too long since she had truly relaxed.
She looked at his open palm. “This doesn’t mean I forgive you.”
After a brief pause, she placed her hand in his.
“But the way you are now… I’m willing to give it a try.”
The instant their hands touched, Lu Shiyan’s fingers closed around hers. He pulled her toward him in one swift motion.
Jiang Nuan crashed into his arms.
The man held her tightly, but he didn’t demand anything more. He simply held her.
For a very long time.
Long enough for her to hear the heart in his chest, beating harder and heavier with every thump.
Lu Shiyan lowered his head and kissed the crown of her hair.
“May I kiss you?”
Jiang Nuan looked up at him.
Then she nodded softly.
Lu Shiyan lifted her onto the kitchen counter and bent down to kiss her. At first, he merely brushed his lips against hers. When she didn’t pull away, he gradually deepened the kiss.
Jiang Nuan clutched the front of his shirt, her breathing quickly becoming ragged.
“Everyone will hear us…”
She reminded him between breaths.
Lu Shiyan stopped, resting his forehead against hers. “I know,” he answered in a low voice.
Jiang Nuan thought that would be the end of it for tonight.
She braced herself against the counter and tried to slide down. But the moment her knees left the cold stone surface, the arm around her waist tightened.
Lu Shiyan didn’t let go.
He lifted her from the counter, letting her wrap both legs around his waist.
As he carried her toward the hallway, he turned his head slightly, his lips nearly brushing her ear.
“Is this okay?”
Jiang Nuan’s entire face flushed.
The heat spread from her ears down to her neck, even her fingers resting on his shoulder burning with it.
She buried her forehead completely against the side of his neck. Her heart was beating so fast that she was certain he could feel it.
After two seconds, her hands slowly tightened around his neck.
Then, against his shoulder, she gave the faintest nod.
