A Mei was startled by her husband, who had suddenly become like a stranger.
A layer of mist veiled A Mei's dark eyes. She looked at An Sheng in panic, her lips trembling as she tried to speak, but no words came out.
An Sheng felt as if his heart had been struck by that gaze, and it was not a pleasant feeling.
Seeing through the timidity in A Mei's heart, An Sheng revealed a knowing smile. You are afraid of me.
Then, An Sheng slowly withdrew his smile. His gaze gradually turned cold, his lips pressed into a straight line, and his chin lifted slightly as he cast his eyes down at A Mei.
You are my wife. I dote on you, and I have always kept my word to you. But on this one point, I fear I sometimes cannot control myself.
Rather than having you unable to bear it in the future, it is better that I make things clear right now.
In a daze, A Mei felt as if she were seeing the husband from when they were first married, so aloof and cold that it almost made her unable to breathe.
At this moment, A Mei was terrified and helpless. She did not understand. She and her husband had been perfectly fine just a moment ago; why had he suddenly become like this?
She called out softly.
Husband.
Her eyes were full of wet moisture, carrying a timidity and dependence she herself was unaware of.
Pitiful, yet adorable.
Husband, please do not be like this. A Mei is scared.
An Sheng's gaze flickered, and his breathing tightened, but he hardened his heart. A Mei, answer my question.
A Mei's tears finally rolled down drop by drop.
She whimpered, feeling so wronged, and then sobbed softly. She raised her fists and gently pounded An Sheng's chest.
What real husband? You are clearly the husband A Mei loves. A Mei said before, no matter how you treat A Mei, A Mei is willing. Why can't you remember, and why must you scare A Mei like this?
A Mei is not afraid of pain, nor afraid of hardship. I am only afraid that you will ignore me and abandon me.
A Mei remembers all the good things you have done for me. A Mei loves you. No matter what you are like, A Mei loves you!
An Sheng pulled A Mei fiercely into his embrace, crushing her against him.
His strength was immense. The sense of confinement enveloping her from all sides almost suffocated A Mei.
She was squeezed so tightly that she truly could not breathe.
Hus... band... Finally, two broken words squeezed out of A Mei's throat.
An Sheng abruptly loosened his grip.
A Mei gasped for air, her entire body trembling uncontrollably.
An Sheng was trembling too. In his deep eyes was a fiery passion entirely different from before; if one had to describe it, it was clearly a frantic, maddening love.
An Sheng lifted the nearly exhausted A Mei and propped her up in his arms. He looked up and down at her pitiful and wronged appearance, then lowered his head, gently licking away the tear stains on her face bit by bit.
He said, Good A Mei, I frightened you.
Being held up like this was a bit uncomfortable for A Mei. She reached out and wrapped her arms around An Sheng's neck. Her wet eyes met his gaze, and she nodded pitifully, letting out a soft mm.
An Sheng asked again, If I truly bullied you, would you still love me?
A Mei shrank back a little. After a long while, she still answered timidly, I would.
An Sheng's heart softened. He lay back down with A Mei, pulled the quilt over them, and then stroked A Mei's smooth back from top to bottom with his large hand. He had thin calluses on his hands, which brought a slight stinging sensation to her skin.
Miraculously, however, A Mei was soothed.
The body in his arms went from tense to soft. An Sheng lowered his head and planted a kiss on A Mei's hairline, but his tongue could not help but scrape back and forth against his teeth.
Sometimes I think, I really wish I could eat you up bite by bite, so your flesh and blood would merge with mine.
After a good while, A Mei spoke with a muffled voice from his embrace, Do not eat A Mei, that would be too much of you.
An Sheng's lips curled up. Alright, I will not eat A Mei. Fearing that A Mei might overthink it, he coaxed her in a low voice, I just wanted to express my possessiveness over you. Do not be afraid.
A Mei pursed her lips and rubbed against An Sheng's chest.
Husband, A Mei called out softly again, but what she asked was, Have you really killed people?
An Sheng was surprised for a moment by A Mei's peculiar train of thought. He fell silent for a moment before answering, I have.
Then will you kill A Mei?
As soon as these words came out, An Sheng's breath hitched, and an emotion called regret overflowed from his chest. After a long time, he sighed. Little fool, I cannot even love you enough, so how could I kill you?
Perhaps I did not need to speak so plainly with you, but there is no helping it. No matter how I hide it, this is who I am, and you would find out sooner or later.
Your husband is different from other men. I am a eunuch, a castrated man, and now a eunuch who holds power. I know better than anyone the fate of powerful eunuchs throughout the dynasties. You marrying me, I truly do not know if it is a fortune or a misfortune in the end. But I promise you, as long as I live for a day, I will protect you even if it costs me my life.
As soon as he finished speaking, A Mei's eyes turned red again, and crystal teardrops hung precariously in her eyes.
An Sheng's heart ached, his eyes full of heartache and pity. Oh my, why are you crying again? If you cry anymore, my sins tonight will be too great. Good A Mei, I am right here. Tell me what grievances you have. If you are still angry with me, just slap me a few times to vent your anger.
It would have been better if An Sheng had said nothing. Once he spoke, A Mei cried even harder, gasping for air with every sob.
An Sheng spent a long time wiping her tears, kissing, and hugging her before A Mei finally stopped crying.
However, her eyes were terribly red and swollen.
With a hoarse voice, A Mei looked at An Sheng. Her watery eyes revealed an unprecedented seriousness. She took a deep breath and finally opened her mouth. A Mei is not angry with you. A Mei is touched. The more I understand you, the more I appreciate how good you are to A Mei. A Mei really, really loves you.
I love you to the point that even if you wanted to kill A Mei, A Mei would be willing.
An Sheng stared intently at A Mei, as if wanting to carve her into his very bones and blood.
Finally, An Sheng concealed those scalding emotions. His deep eyes flickered, and his expression gradually turned serious.
A Mei, I truly love the way your heart and eyes are entirely filled with me, but this is not right.
A Mei froze for a moment, unconsciously biting her lower lip.
Afraid that A Mei would overthink, An Sheng lowered his head and kissed A Mei's lips soothingly, his tone impossibly gentle.
Ever since I was a child, I was a slave who could be bullied by anyone, but I still fought with all my might to live. I racked my brains to stand out and take my fate into my own hands.
And A Mei, you are not my plaything, nor are you a canary dependent on me. You are my wife, and the mistress of the An Manor. My status among men is your status among women.
Towards the end, An Sheng's tone grew heavy.
I will not allow you to have any thoughts of not cherishing your own life, even if it is because of me. Do you understand!
