Xie Tangning was thoroughly enjoying the spectacle and showed no mercy just because the other party was one of her underlings.
Without a word, she handed Wu Weixiang the prop still singing away in her hand.
“Uncle, good things come in pairs!”
“Come on, show us what you’ve got! I’ll provide free recording services!”
As she spoke, Xie Tangning pointed at Wu Dacheng, who was already so stunned he had been rendered speechless, then raised her phone and got ready to record.
Wu Dacheng immediately clutched his chest in an injured pose and collapsed to the ground. No one knew where he had produced yet another tiny handkerchief.
“Sob, sob, sob~ Why is this old Pig’s life so miserable?”
“I ended up with an Elder Brother like this! Looks like we can forget about going to fetch the scriptures. Let’s divide up the luggage and head back to Gao Village!”
His immersive Zhu Bajie performance was remarkably convincing. He was clearly trying to muddle through the situation and avoid this sudden beating.
Wu Weixiang: “…”
As expected of my biological son. Even his drama-queen tendencies were inherited perfectly!
He kicked him lightly twice in disgust. “Get up. You’re a grown man now. Why are you still throwing yourself on the floor and throwing a tantrum like a three-year-old?”
Wu Dacheng kicked back, and a footprint instantly appeared on Wu Weixiang’s pants.
“Dad, do you even know how to comfort a child? That wasn’t throwing a tantrum. I was acting spoiled!”
After complaining about his father, he immediately turned around and began accusing his boss.
“Boss, don’t you love me anymore?”
“How could you hand my dad a weapon? He really hits people!”
“Do you have another dog outside? Let me see who’s so bold as to compete with me for my position!”
Su Xiaoye’s hand shot up, and her mouth moved faster than her brain.
“Me!”
“I think I’m much more qualified to be Tangtang’s subordinate than you~”
Wu Dacheng was silent for two seconds.
“Oh~ In that case, no problem! I’m the left arm and you’re the right arm. Perfect!”
The chubby boy had arranged his position perfectly, only for Xie Wanwan to open her mouth and start fighting over it too.
“There’s no place for you. I’m standing on the left!”
Looking at the three people who had inexplicably started fighting, Liang Zhou suddenly lost all interest in fanning the flames.
Xie Tangning’s die-hard fans were not to be trifled with!
He turned around and began roaming all over the place with Shen Hao. Although the scenic area was nothing like what he had expected, they had come all this way, so they might as well take a look around.
It was just unbearably hot and exhausting.
What a waste of the outfit he had so carefully prepared. What a pity!
While the three die-hard fans were still locked in battle, Xie Tangning had already anticipated what was coming and dragged her second brother away.
Before leaving, she did not forget to snatch back the “weapon” in Wu Weixiang’s hand, which had already become completely useless.
Two minutes later, Xie Changyu and Xie Tangning were standing in front of the scenic area’s huge sign bearing the words “Flaming Mountains.” They wore matching hats, matching sunglasses, and similarly ridiculous outfits. Holding their miniature weapon, with its lights and music already turned on, they took a group photo, officially checking in.
The “Golden Cicada” version of Tang Monk, with two wings on his back, and an abstract version of the Account-Balancing Great Sage left behind a precious photograph together at the Flaming Mountains.
The whole point was that even if the trip had not gone according to plan, the carefully prepared costumes could not go to waste!
The sight was so bizarre and mismatched that it made people’s eyes go dark—then dark again!
Just when the audience thought the siblings had reached the absolute limit of absurdity, they saw that taking a photo was not enough for them. The two of them then started filming a dance video.
Xie Tangning, sporting her thunder-themed look, began performing an elegant Western Regions dance while unleashing her bronze-gong voice.
“I’ve just crossed several rivers↗ and climbed over several mountains↘…”
Not a single word was on key, yet her feet hit every beat with pinpoint accuracy.
And so, an angelic face, elfin dance steps, a devilish voice, and a distinctly nonhuman outfit all appeared on the same person.
Strangely enough, it was almost harmonious!
Xie Changyu was no better. With two thunder-themed wings strapped to his back, he began dancing the Western Regions routine as if early humans were still learning how to control their limbs.
Although his arms and legs were stiff, he possessed a flawless singing voice and instantly picked up the next line after Xie Tangning.
“Why are there so many twists and turns~?”
He combined the voice of an angel, the dance moves of a devil, an absurdly garish outfit, and a face fit for a god.
It was… difficult to put into words.
For the next two minutes, every time Xie Tangning’s voice rang out—
Everyone: Someone, please poke my ears deaf!
Every time Xie Changyu’s dancing appeared—
Everyone: Quick! Someone, poke my eyes blind!
When the siblings attacked at the same time, not a single person survived!
[What hardly anyone knows is that our Dog Xie is a genius when it comes to music, and also a genius at dancing!]
[Xie Tangning, Xie Changyu! What on earth are you two doing? Even the finale has to be this absurd?]
“But speaking of which, their faces have already been scattered all over the ground. If I go pick one up, will I get this kind of top-tier facial modeling too?!”
Liang Jiaqing and the others watched the bizarre performance from the side for two full minutes. The siblings only became more absorbed as they sang, and more energetic as they danced.
Then they noticed that someone else with a voice like a broken gong was about to join the group, ready to follow along without hesitation.
Liang Jiaqing and Shen Lin exchanged a knowing look before stepping forward. They each gave one of the siblings a light smack, pulling the two of them out of their artistic trance.
Then they pointed at them and criticized them for two full minutes. Shen Lin alone was practically worth two people, his little mouth firing off one complaint after another.
Lu Huaiyu’s younger sister and younger brother were, by extension, practically his own younger siblings. As their elder brother, what was wrong with teaching them a lesson?
There was absolutely nothing wrong with it!
Liang Zhou and Wu Dacheng had tried to join the performance but failed. One second later, they switched sides and joined the army of critics.
Xie Tangning/Xie Changyu: Ծ‸Ծ
How hateful! Yet another group of people who could not appreciate art!
Su Xiaoye used her Banana Fan prop to fan herself, while Xie Wanwan stood beside her to enjoy the breeze.
The two of them had not joined the criticism session, but their attitude toward watching the show said everything.
Clearly, even these two die-hard fans could not endure Xie Tangning’s singing.
Director Zhang looked at his guests, who had once again begun acting bizarrely, and was rendered utterly speechless.
Were they really human? If they were, why did they keep doing things that no normal person could understand?
He was truly convinced.
The assistant director, meanwhile, seemed to have long since accepted the fact that his guests would periodically suffer from inexplicable episodes.
He simply smiled as he watched them fool around, like someone admiring his own pet kitties.
Clearly, that required quite a few layers of rose-colored filters.
Since the scenery at the Flaming Mountains was relatively monotonous, Director Zhang had not allotted the guests much time to explore. Once the time was up, he took them to the next destination.
His original intention had merely been to show everyone that when traveling, if one failed to plan properly, the actual journey could end up vastly different from what one had imagined.
Not every attraction could live up to the expectations people held in their hearts.
But every attraction possessed its own unique charm.
Sometimes that charm lay in the natural scenery, sometimes in the history and culture that had accumulated over time, sometimes in nostalgia, and sometimes in something else entirely.
That kind of charm might not make everyone willing to stop and linger, but there would always be someone willing to pause for a moment.
After leaving the Flaming Mountains, they arrived at their next destination: the oasis in the desert known as Grape Valley.
The streets and alleys here were filled with the atmosphere of the Western Regions, creating another feast for both the eyes and the nose.
It was early autumn by the solar terms, and the season revealed itself here in all its fullness. The fragrance of melons and fruit drifted everywhere.
And so, the moment those ravenous little pigs entered Grape Valley, their inner gluttons took over once again.
Tears of excitement began streaming from the corners of their mouths.
Wu Dacheng, in particular, could hardly wait to see for himself the scenes described in his Chinese textbook.
Beneath the endless rows of grapevines, delighted laughter rang out everywhere.
