Dad! Please Stop Getting Promoted, Our Family Are Really Treacherous Officials!

Chapter 136

Xu Zhan's warhorse was originally nothing but skin and bones, stumbling as it walked, but just now it had also snagged a couple of bites of the lard and sugar residue snowballs.

But that was high-sugar, high-fat stuff, and now look at it. The horse's eyes were wide open, snorting white steam from its nostrils, galloping at full speed.

Hyah! Hyah!

Xu Zhan leaned low over the horse's back, clutching two unopened jars of enriched meat bricks in his coat. Those were the treasures he had saved to present to the Commandant. The blizzard whipped painfully against his face, but he didn't feel it; instead, he felt a deep warmth radiating through his body. This surge of energy came from the pork belly, Nu'er Hong wine, and salt.

Meanwhile, the atmosphere inside the central command tent of the Northern Frontier Camp was dismal. The commanding officer, Lu Dayou, paced around the sheepskin map for the three-hundredth time with his hands behind his back. His thick beard was tangled from anxiety, his eye sockets were sunken, and his lips were cracked.

There was no fire in the tent because they had genuinely run out of firewood. Several lieutenants huddled in the corners, shivering in their iron armor.

Sir.

One lieutenant couldn't hold it in anymore, his voice tinged with a sob.

Should we slaughter the horses?

Lu Dayou's footsteps halted abruptly. He turned his head, his bloodshot eyes glaring fiercely at the lieutenant.

Slaughter the horses?

Those are warhorses! They are our brothers' legs!

Without horses, if the barbarians charge at us, what will we use to stop them? Your skull?

The lieutenant fell to his knees with a thud, tears streaming down his face.

But Sir, the men haven't seen a speck of meat in three days, and even the grass roots have been dug up!

If we don't eat something soon, we'll freeze and starve to death before the barbarians even get here!

Lu Dayou closed his eyes in agony. He was a tough man, but right now, even his tough heart was bleeding.

Just then, a sudden commotion erupted outside the tent, followed by a booming, energetic roar.

Why are you stopping me?! I have an urgent military report!

I need to see the Commander! I have life-saving treasures!

Lu Dayou frowned. Why did that voice sound so familiar? And how was it so energetic? Wasn't he starving?

Before he could figure it out, the tent flap was violently thrown open. A gust of cold wind, mixed with the smell of alcohol and rich grease, blew into the tent.

Xu Zhan strode in, his face glowing with health, a fine layer of sweat even beading on his forehead.

The most outrageous part was his mouth, it was so slick with grease that it practically reflected light in the dim tent!

Lu Dayou was stunned. The kneeling lieutenant was stunned. Everyone stared dumbfounded at this guy who looked like he had just finished a feast of meat and wine.

Xu Zhan?

Lu Dayou's eyes widened in disbelief.

Weren't you supposed to be guarding the outpost camp?

What's with this look?

Lu Dayou sniffed the air. It was alcohol! Definitely alcohol! Here in the strictly disciplined Northern Frontier Camp, where everyone was on the verge of starvation, this brat was drinking? And his mouth was dripping with grease?

Lu Dayou instantly flared up.

With a sharp metallic ring, Lu Dayou drew the saber at his waist, pointing the tip right at Xu Zhan's nose.

You've got some nerve, Xu Zhan!

To desert your post! And hoard meat and wine!

If I don't chop your head off today, I'd be doing a disservice to our starving brothers!

Xu Zhan jumped in fright and quickly raised his hands, but since he was still holding the two clay jars, he nearly dropped them.

Sir! You wrong me!

Your subordinate didn't desert, I came to deliver rations!

These are life-saving immortal elixirs sent all the way from Jiangning by my sister!

Immortal elixirs?

Lu Dayou laughed out of sheer anger. He stepped forward and kicked Xu Zhan in the rear, but because he was weak from days of hunger, he ended up swaying unsteadily himself.

Bullshit!

What kind of immortal elixir smells like quicklime?

Do you think we've all starved into idiots?

Xu Zhan didn't even dodge. He took the kick head-on and just chuckled, revealing a stray shred of meat stuck between his teeth. Seeing this, the surrounding lieutenants swallowed hard, their eyes practically turning green with envy.

Sir, listen to me.

This stuff is a bit weird, but it really can save lives!

Xu Zhan placed the clay jars from his arms onto the ground.

Bring some snow!

Someone go outside and grab a handful of snow!

The men exchanged bewildered glances, thinking he had gone mad.

Lu Dayou sneered.

Fine, I'll see what kind of trick you're playing.

Go, get him some snow!

A young soldier tremblingly brought in a handful of snow. Xu Zhan took the snow, took a deep breath, and looked very solemn.

He carefully placed the snow beneath the clay jar, then quickly took three steps back and covered his nose.

Get back, everyone!

This thing has a nasty temper!

Before Lu Dayou could react, a loud hiss rang out. The clay jar began to shake violently, emitting a strange buzzing sound. With a whoosh, a plume of white smoke shot out from the mouth of the jar, hitting the roof of the tent.

Watch out! It's poison!

Lu Dayou's face paled. He instinctively covered his nose and mouth, nearly dropping his saber.

This must be barbarian sorcery!

Poisonous smoke! Hold your breath!

The surrounding lieutenants scrambled in panic, thinking it was toxic gas. Xu Zhan, however, wore a look of pure enjoyment, taking a deep breath with an expression so intoxicated it was practically begging for a beating.

Poison my foot!

Sir, this is the scent from the Supreme Venerable Sovereign's alchemy furnace!

It cooked for about fifteen minutes.

Once the white smoke had somewhat dissipated, Xu Zhan ignored the scorching heat and ripped off the oil paper sealing the mouth.

With a whoosh, a blast of hot air rushed out. Inside the jar were over a dozen dark, square blocks, still sizzling with oil.

This...

Lu Dayou was stunned. He lowered the hand covering his nose and swallowed hard. The smell was incredibly rich; the heat and aroma were simply too enticing.

What is this?

Lu Dayou pointed at the dark lumps, his voice trembling slightly.

Sir, this is specially enriched braised pork.

Xu Zhan gulped. Even though he had already stuffed himself at the outpost camp, he was still craving it just from the smell.

Here, Sir, have a taste.

Unceremoniously, Xu Zhan reached in and pinched a piece, offering it to Lu Dayou. The meat brick was still dripping with hot oil and sugary syrup.

Lu Dayou looked at the dark, hard lump, hesitating.

Is this thing edible?

It looks like horse dung.

Xu Zhan rolled his eyes.

Sir, if horse dung smelled like this, I would have licked the stables clean a long time ago.

Without another word, Xu Zhan took a bite himself. With a crisp crunch, Xu Zhan closed his eyes, his expression shifting from a look of martyrdom to one of absolute bliss.

Sss—

That's the stuff!

Salty! Sweet! Really hits the spot!

Seeing Xu Zhan's look of enjoyment, Lu Dayou finally couldn't hold back. He sheathed his saber, extended a trembling hand, and pinched a piece from the jar as well.

Hot, it was really hot. How could it be this hot without lighting a fire?

Lu Dayou gritted his teeth and steeled his resolve. If he dies, he dies! Even if it was poison, dying after eating a hot meal was still a win!

He opened his mouth wide and took a bite.

With one bite, Lu Dayou felt his mind go blank. It was salty, sweet, and carried the spicy kick of strong liquor. For an ordinary person, the flavor would be far too overpowering.

But for a man who had starved for three days and was entirely deprived of salt, sugar, and oil, this was the most perfect taste in the world.

Mmm!

Lu Dayou's eyes widened fiercely, his entire face flushing red. He felt a stream of heat flow down his throat and into his stomach, quickly spreading through his limbs and bones. His previously frozen, stiff fingers actually began to warm up. His trembling knees suddenly found strength.

"This..."

Lu Dayou swallowed the meat brick in a few bites, barely even chewing.

"Good! Good stuff!"

"That packs a punch!"

Lu Dayou slapped Xu Zhan on the shoulder, nearly knocking him flat on his face.

The surrounding lieutenants were already dumbfounded, drooling all over the ground. Their gazes looked as if they wanted to swallow Lu Dayou whole.

"Don't just stand there staring!"

Lu Dayou wiped the grease from his mouth, a shrewd glint flashing in his eyes.

"Xu Zhan! How many more of these jars are there?"

Xu Zhan puffed out his chest, his face full of pride.

"Reporting to Your Excellency!"

"The Longmen Escort Agency delivered over a dozen carts!"

"A full several hundred jars!"

"Right outside the camp!"

"Several hundred jars..."

Lu Dayou took a deep breath, feeling his heart pounding wildly. He waved his hand fiercely and shouted out.

"Pass down my orders!"

"Set up the pots!"

"Set up every damn pot we have!"

"Boil snow water!"

A lieutenant asked cautiously, "My Lord, this meat is so hard. Should we chop it up first?"

"Don't chop a damn thing!"

Lu Dayou glared.

"The salt and sugar in just one piece of this meat is enough to feed ten grown men!"

"Throw it straight into the pot to boil!"

"Add plenty of snow water! Brew it into a soup!"

"Tell the cooks, they are not allowed to wash the jars!"

"The lime powder at the bottom of the jars is a treasure! It's a heat source!"

"Throw the jars in to boil right along with it!"

"Make sure every brother in the entire camp gets a bowl!"

Half an hour later, on the drill grounds of the Northern Frontier Camp, dozens of large iron pots were lined up in a row. Because they were burning wooden manger boards underneath, the fires weren't very large.

But rolling inside the pots was a thick, brown soup, with a layer of yellow oil floating on top.

Thousands of soldiers surrounded the pots, holding their bowls and staring eagerly. No one spoke; there were only pairs of shining eyes and the constant sound of swallowing.

"Serve the food!"

Following Lu Dayou's command, the scene was even more spectacular than a battle. Scoop after scoop of the thick broth was ladled into the bowls. Even though everyone only got a piece of meat the size of a palm in their bowl, the soup itself was a genuine, high-energy nutritional broth.

Muffled sobbing could be heard from a corner. A young soldier took a sip of the soup, and the rich sweet and salty flavor hit him so hard that his snot and tears flowed together.

"It's so delicious..."

"It's even better than the New Year's dumpling soup my mother makes..."

"Why does this taste like it has liquor in it? It's making my head spin a bit, but my body feels so warm and toasty."

Lu Dayou stood on the high platform, holding a large bowl of soup. He didn't rush to drink it. Instead, he looked down at the faces that had regained their vitality, at his brothers holding their bowls and wolfing down the food.

His own eyes grew a little moist.

"Xu Zhan," Lu Dayou called out in a low voice.

Xu Zhan quickly ran over, still holding a half-melted piece of sugar residue in his mouth.

"My Lord."

"You said earlier..." Lu Dayou looked at the bowl of soup in his hands, watching the floating oil droplets, his gaze complex. "How much silver did that sister of yours spend to deliver this batch of goods?"

Xu Zhan held up a hand, gesturing with his five fingers.

"For the shipping fee alone, fifty thousand taels."

"And that's not even counting the cost of the meat, the liquor, and the jars themselves."