Cannon Fodder’s Guide to Getting Rich

Chapter 32

Shen Hefeng followed the divination's guidance, heading south toward Tianjia Village.

Before long, he spotted a group of aunties gathered under a pavilion, busily sorting vegetables.

The aunties all had dark, ominous auras. Sensing something, they turned in unison toward the approaching young Taoist. Unable to resist, their mouths split open grotesquely, stretching to the backs of their heads, while blackish drool dripped onto the ground—a horrifying sight.

[Ahhhh! That scared me to death!]

[Oh no, oh no! The Taoist is gonna get eaten! Run for your life!]

[Why isn’t this Taoist running? Is he stupid?]

[Good heavens, he’s actually walking toward them!!]

Shen Hefeng pulled out his Spirit-Devouring Banner and, with the air of an otherworldly sage, stepped into the pavilion. Ignoring the aunties’ monstrous appearances, he stroked his nonexistent beard and declared, "Would you ladies care for a divination? Before arriving in Tianjia Village, I wandered the land, renowned for my fortune-telling. Seeing that fate has brought us together today, I’ve come to offer you free readings—no charge, whether accurate or not!"

The aunties chuckled darkly, slurping back their drool, clearly enticed. "No charge? Then, little Taoist, tell us our fortunes."

"Very well." Shen Hefeng grinned, producing a tortoise shell and performing an elaborate divination ritual. To his own surprise, he conjured an image of a scholar heading to the capital for imperial exams. He put away the shell and confidently announced, "Auntie, do you have a son who’s gone to the capital for exams or perhaps a sect’s disciple recruitment?"

The lead auntie froze, as if her mind had momentarily glitched. "Y-yes, I think so. Now I remember! My child went to the Ling Mountain Sect’s recruitment trials! He said he’d become an immortal and let me live for centuries in luxury!"

Ling Mountain Sect?

That was one of Qingzhou’s sects from five hundred years ago, but it had been devastated during the Mystic Heaven Calamity. After the calamity, several Qingzhou powerhouses merged the remnants of Ling Mountain and other sects into what is now Qingling Mountain.

"What a filial child." Shen Hefeng mused, then adopted the mannerisms of a charlatan, rubbing his fingers together. "Auntie, rest assured—your son will surely pass! Within half a month, you’ll receive good news from Ling Mountain Sect!"

"R-really?" The auntie cackled, delighted. Turning to her companions, she said, "This little Taoist’s readings are accurate. You should all get yours done too…"

"Ohoho, come here, little Taoist, read mine next…"

"Me too, me too! Hehehe, since it’s free, do mine as well…"

[Is this for real?]

[Fortune-telling for ghosts? The Qingling Mountain disciples’ methods are getting weirder by the day.]

[That’s Shen Hefeng from the Sky-Questioning Pavilion. He’s always been eccentric—nothing he does surprises me.]

[The Mystic Tower trials are full of bizarre challenges, but they all follow certain rules. If you understand them, interacting with spirits isn’t necessarily dangerous—it might even yield clues. Still, it’s incredibly risky. One misstep, and you’re dinner. This Qingling Mountain diviner has nerves of steel.]

[Seems like all of Qingling Mountain is bold. That Wen Shuangbai over there subdued a demonic hound and is now casually chatting with villagers…]

[And that healer even asked a villager for directions and thanked them afterward. So polite.]

[???]

[What about the three in the chicken coop?]

[One’s babysitting chicks, another’s napping, and the third is meditating out of sheer boredom.]

Newcomers from other sects:

[???]

[Why is Qingling Mountain so different from everyone else?]

[Other sects are fighting for their lives, while they’re just… chilling?]

[No wonder chicken-feeding gives the lowest holy stones.]

[They’re just enjoying their last moments. Once the seven-day trial ends and Qingling Mountain ranks last, they’ll regret it.]

[I wouldn’t be so sure. I think Qingling Mountain’s disciples are playing a deeper game…]

After finishing the readings, Shen Hefeng’s eyes gleamed mischievously. "Since you enjoyed it, I’ll come back every day to give free divinations!"

"Oh, every day, you say…" The auntie suddenly leaned in, her long tongue lashing out to snatch a chunk of Shen Hefeng’s hair. She chewed contentedly before sitting back. "Fine, but little Taoist, you’d best be careful. Remember—don’t go out after dark, ohohohoho…"

The aunties laughed maniacally.

Shen Hefeng, who had just spent 202 spirit stones on hair-growth pills from Xie Ziyin before the trial: "…"

Damn it, his hair! Why did it have to be his hair?! Stupid ghosts!!

---

Near the village entrance, Xie Ziyin stood on a ridge, surveying the vast golden rice fields.

Though it was harvest season, the golden stalks were intermittently splattered with blood.

The fields stretched for miles, perilously close to the village outskirts.

The Ziyan Realm’s section even extended beyond the village border, where corrupted beasts relentlessly attacked cultivators.

The Tianluo Witch Sect and Wansheng Palace’s fields were slightly better positioned, but not by much. Within half a day, their teams were already battered and exhausted.

A Wansheng Palace healer had just finished bandaging Yu Xiaoxiao’s wounds when the latter spotted a figure in white. Her eyes lit up.

Remembering something, she eagerly flew over on her sword.

Xie Ziyin’s gaze remained fixed beyond the village.

From questioning villagers, he’d pieced together clues.

This village existed five hundred years in the past.

Some kind of barrier kept the demonic beasts and spirits outside from invading.

Even the ghosts inside followed certain rules, not daring to act recklessly.

The Holy Tower’s trial wasn’t just about feeding chickens or harvesting rice. The real mission was likely…

"Ziyin-gege, did you come looking for me?" Yu Xiaoxiao’s voice was sweetly hopeful.

"…" Xie Ziyin glanced at her, expressionless. "It’s not even dark yet."

Yu Xiaoxiao blinked. "Huh? What do you mean, Ziyin-gege?"

"…I wasn’t looking for you." Xie Ziyin’s patience thinned. "And I have a surname."

Yu Xiaoxiao, pale from her injuries and suppressing the discomfort in her spirit bones, softly corrected herself. "Xie-gege."

Xie Ziyin: "…"

Arguing with this protagonist was pointless.

He turned to leave.

Yu Xiaoxiao blocked his path. "Xie-gege, your Focus Pills were incredibly helpful. We could really use more—could you refine some for us?"

Xie Ziyin stared at her as if she were an idiot. "?"

Yu Xiaoxiao, sensing his disdain, quickly added, "We’ll pay in spirit stones!"

Xie Ziyin: "Get lost."

"Xie-gege…" Yu Xiaoxiao’s voice trembled. She never imagined the boy who once risked his life to save her would speak to her like this. "It wasn’t my choice to join Wansheng Palace. I didn’t want to leave Qingling Mountain, but my master’s orders…"

Xie Ziyin had reached his limit. He usually avoided being too harsh with women, but now he couldn’t hold back: "None of my damn business. Didn’t you hear me tell you to scram?"

Yu Xiaoxiao choked back her tears and stumbled away, barely holding herself together.

Soaring on her sword to the edge of the rice fields, she spotted Di Qi surrounded by a pack of demonic beasts. Without hesitation, she rushed over, deflecting a strike aimed at him: "Watch out!"

[Ugh, why is she helping someone from Di Province?]

[What a kind-hearted girl! Winning the competition would mean more Sacred Stones for her sect and fewer for others, yet she’s willing to aid Di Province. How rare!]

[Oh please, other Di Province disciples need help too. She just conveniently picked Di Qi, didn’t she? Clearly here for my senior brother! Get lost!]

[Don’t say that. I know Xiaoxiao—she’s always been pure-hearted.]

The Mystic Heaven Mirror erupted into chaos. Xie Ziyin observed quietly for a moment, about to leave, when suddenly a voice called out from behind him in an exaggeratedly sweet tone: "Ziyin gege~"

Xie Ziyin: "..."

Wen Shuangbai’s usual voice was crisp and clear, but now it dripped with saccharine sweetness. Xie Ziyin’s heart skipped a beat, an inexplicable unease creeping over him.

Suppressing a shudder, he warned her: "Don’t act cute."

He wanted to live a few more years.

Wen Shuangbai grinned as she approached. "So? Any leads?"

Xie Ziyin tilted his head slightly and murmured his suspicions into her ear.

His breath brushed against her skin, making her instinctively lean away before nodding. "Pretty much what I thought."

Glancing at the sky, she noted the sun dipping westward—nightfall was approaching fast. In this village, darkness seemed to descend unnaturally quickly. She relayed the information she’d gathered from the villagers: "Let’s head back to the chicken coop. After dark, no one leaves their homes here."

---

The village chief hadn’t explicitly warned them to return before nightfall, but the top sects—like Purple Flame Realm—had their ways of figuring it out.

The Qian Yuan Sect, being less formidable, remained oblivious. But seeing everyone else hurrying back, they exchanged glances and wisely followed suit.

As the last sliver of light clung to the horizon, disciples from every sect retreated to their lodgings.

They all shared one large room—essentially a village-style communal bed, just seven long wooden planks laid over stone blocks.

The Qian Yuan Sect claimed a spot, feeling rather pleased.

They’d scouted other sects’ task sites. Their pigs were ordinary, easy to feed—unlike the dogs that craved human flesh or the rice fields and fish ponds teeming with demonic beasts.

With such a simple task and more Sacred Stones than even Qingling Mountain, this round was practically a free win!

But their joy was short-lived.

The Qingling Mountain disciples filed in, carefully carrying a massive alchemy furnace. From inside came incessant chirping and peeping—the sound of tiny yellow chicks.

The Qian Yuan Sect: "?"

Just as the last trace of light vanished, the Jade Rhinoceros Valley disciples hustled in, dragging a giant black dog behind them.

With a loud BANG, the door slammed shut, sealing them off from the encroaching darkness.

A little fox-eared girl from Jade Rhinoceros Valley wiped her brow, spotting Wen Shuangbai. Her eyes lit up as she led her sectmates over. "Sister Wen, thank you for reminding us to bring the dog inside! We’d have forgotten otherwise—"

Before she could finish, the Qian Yuan Sect’s faces darkened.

Oh no.

[Qian Yuan Sect is so slow on the uptake!]

[Exactly. The other four sects set up barrier arrays for their fish ponds and rice fields. Even the ones raising chickens and dogs brought them inside. Only Qian Yuan left their pigs out there like idiots.]

[Stupid AND weak. What a combo.]

One Qian Yuan disciple bolted for the door without thinking. "I’ll go get the pigs— AHHH!"

A pitch-black tongue lashed out from the darkness, snatching him up in an instant.

"Senior brother!" Another disciple lunged forward, reaching out to save him—only for the tongue to coil around his wrist and yank him into the abyss.

The night was ink-black, hiding the horrors outside. But the sounds were unmistakable: the sickening crunch of bones, the agonized screams of cultivators being devoured.

Inside, the room was dead silent—except for the cheerful clucking of chicks and the dog’s excited barks.

Amid the cacophony of "Bark! Bark!" and "Peep! Peep!", the wooden door creaked shut again, this time deliberately slow.

If the earlier haste had been to lock out stragglers, this sluggishness was an invitation—for someone else to leave.

No one dared move an inch toward the exit now.

The little fox girl patted the black dog’s head and whispered, "So scary..."

Qian Yuan had lost two members in seconds, and their pigs outside were as good as dead.

Losing even one pig would doom them to last place.

Unless... Qingling Mountain and Jade Rhinoceros Valley were eliminated first.

A pockmarked Qian Yuan disciple suddenly shouted, "Village chief! I have an urgent report!"

The door groaned open. The village chief stepped inside, fresh blood smeared around his lips, his gaze ravenous as it swept over the tender-skinned cultivators. "Yeeees?" he drawled.

The pockmarked man pointed accusingly at Wen Shuangbai’s group. "Qingling Mountain and Jade Rhinoceros Valley brought their chickens and dogs inside!!"

[Wow. Low blow.]

[It’s a competition, not a tea party. No one actually dies in here, and the rules allow it.]

[RIP Qingling Mountain and Jade Rhinoceros Valley. Village chief’s gonna feast.]

On screen, Wen Shuangbai reacted lightning-fast. She pulled something from her storage ring, pressed it into Xie Ziyin’s hand, and gave his fingers a meaningful squeeze.

The contact sent a jolt through Xie Ziyin’s fingertips. He nearly flung the fuzzy object away but steadied himself, calmly tucking it away before retreating behind his senior brothers to work unnoticed.

Meanwhile, Wen Shuangbai scurried up to the village chief and dropped into an exaggerated bow. "Honorable chief! What brings you here? Your presence alone illuminates our humble abode!"

Everyone: "???"

[???]

The village chief blinked, then grinned, thoroughly pleased. "Heard you brought chickens in here..."

"Indeed." Wen Shuangbai spoke with earnest sincerity. "Since the village chief entrusted us with raising these chicks, we must take good care of them—fattening them up nicely before returning them to you. That’s why we dared not slack off and brought them along to watch over day and night! After all, it’s you who gave us this livelihood, our great benefactor! With your boundless kindness and virtue, how could we not give our all?"

"Mhm, mhm... that’s true enough." The village chief’s greedy gaze still lingered on her. "But..."

Xie Ziyin approached from behind.

Wen Shuangbai immediately reached out, took something from him, and smoothly slipped it to the village chief. "Who would’ve thought the Qian Yuan Sect disciples would trouble you with such trivial matters. Village Chief, you’re swamped with responsibilities and deserve proper rest at night. How could they be so inconsiderate!"

The village chief glanced at it, hastily popped it into his mouth, and echoed Wen Shuangbai’s words, shooting a sinister grin at the accusing Qian Yuan Sect disciple. "Y-yes, how could you be so thoughtless..."

Nearby, a young girl from Jade Rhinoceros Valley squinted—wasn’t that... a tiny fragment of her fox’s tail?

Like... one-thirtieth of it...?

The Jade Rhinoceros Valley group: "?"