Cannon Fodder’s Guide to Getting Rich

Chapter 21

The monkey perched on the boiler had no choice but to lower its head.

The Monkey King, with eyes as dark as black grapes, rolled them shrewdly before nodding obediently, "Mmm, mmm!"

"Good boy." Wen Shuangbai patted the monkey's head, her tone affectionate. "I think a clever and capable monkey like you must know how to lead us to the Taihua Stone, right?"

The Monkey King's fur gleamed brilliantly, and the faint ring of golden lashes around its eyes looked as if they had been delicately lined. It blinked once, then twice, before suddenly shaking its head like a rattle drum.

Xie Ziyin, who had just pried a fasting pill from the monkey's death grip, chuckled lightly at the sight. "Seems you know what the Taihua Stone is."

The Monkey King watched in outrage as this human male snatched away its food. It bared its teeth, screeched wildly, and glared at him with fiery eyes.

Anyone could tell it was cursing up a storm.

Under normal circumstances, Wen Shuangbai would have been delighted to see Xie Ziyin at a disadvantage.

But now, securing the spirit stone took priority. Without hesitation, she tightened her Fire Feather Whip and pinched the monkey's ear, threatening, "Lying monkeys get eaten!"

Leaning lazily against the alchemy furnace, Yin Xuan—who had been watching Xie Ziyin wrestle the pill from the monkey—turned his head and gazed at the creature with gentle longing. "I've never had roasted whole monkey before. It must be delicious..."

The Monkey King whimpered pitifully, tears glistening in its eyes as it shook its head, as if pleading that it hadn’t lied.

All four of them now surrounded the furnace, staring down at the monkey.

Meanwhile, Shen Hefeng, who had been fiddling with a turtle shell on the ground, suddenly seemed to divine something. He yanked Lu Jiayao aside and crept closer, glaring at the monkey with a sinister grin. "But what to do? My divination says you’re a cunning old trickster, full of lies!"

The Monkey King, mid-performance: "..."

Outrageous! What a hateful old priest.

The Monkey King glared at Shen Hefeng, then suddenly opened its mouth and spat right at him.

Shen Hefeng cursed and dodged, leaving Lu Jiayao—who had been craning his neck curiously behind him—to take the full hit.

Lu Jiayao shrieked in horror, flailing wildly before leaping into a nearby stream to scrub himself clean.

Shen Hefeng: "..."

Wen Shuangbai: "..."

Xie Ziyin: "..."

Yin Xuan, oblivious to the chaos, remained fixated on his culinary ambitions. Tilting his head, he asked Wen Shuangbai, "Junior Sister, does this mean we can roast the monkey now?"

The Monkey King had already adopted an expression of fearless defiance.

It had realized something.

These humans needed it to find the Taihua Stone. Since they had a use for it, they wouldn’t dare eat it—in fact, they’d have to treat it well!

Thus, no matter how much the wretched priest yanked its tail or pinched its ears, it remained unmoved.

Its hide was thick; the rough handling just made for a good scratch.

No way was it leading them to the Taihua Stone.

Hehe.

Truly, it was a brave, brilliant, and peerless Monkey King, fearlessly guarding the sacred stone against tyranny!

But its smugness didn’t last long.

Under the moonlight, Xie Ziyin stood like an immortal untouched by mortal dust, his plain robes and wooden hairpin lending him an ethereal air. Yet his words were anything but divine: "What did the monkey throw at us earlier?"

Shen Hefeng, who had been fantasizing about skinning the creature alive, was struck by the reminder. Glancing at the scattered monkey droppings, he grinned darkly. "Excellent. I’ll make sure you get a good meal first!"

Monkey King: "?"

Panic flashed across its face—but it was too late.

Wen Shuangbai rummaged through her storage ring and, using the cheapest materials at hand, swiftly fashioned a small bowl. Just as Shen Hefeng was pondering how to scoop the droppings, she handed it to him like a timely gift.

Shen Hefeng’s eyes lit up. "Many thanks, Junior Sister Shuangbai! Your hands are as quick as ever."

Wen Shuangbai smiled modestly, her pride well hidden. "You flatter me, Elder Brother Shen."

Rolling up his sleeves, Shen Hefeng filled the bowl to the brim, then turned to the horrified Monkey King with a grin so wide it nearly split his head in half. "Open wide."

The Monkey King clamped its mouth shut, blinking rapidly in terror as it cast desperate glances at its underlings.

The other monkeys, seeing their king in peril, hopped anxiously. A few even made as if to charge forward—until Wen Shuangbai swept them with a glance and asked sweetly, "What? You want some too?"

The underlings immediately retreated, shaking their heads frantically.

"!" The Monkey King fumed.

But before its rage could fully manifest, Xie Ziyin reached out, his slender fingers pressing against its jaw. With a deft motion, he forced its mouth open.

The Monkey King tried to bite—only for Xie Ziyin to dislocate its jaw with a crisp crack.

Yin Xuan instinctively touched his own chin before quietly stepping back.

"My thanks, Ziyin." Shen Hefeng cackled as he raised the bowl of droppings toward the monkey’s gaping maw.

The Monkey King thrashed violently, but the Fire Feather Whip held fast. It couldn’t break free.

It couldn’t even close its mouth.

The stench was unbearable. Tears welled in its eyes—this time, genuine.

Wuwuwu, it didn’t want to eat poop!

In its desperation, the Monkey King strained its throat and managed to croak, "I-I’ll take you there!"

Shen Hefeng, too consumed by vengeance, ignored the plea and continued his foul mission.

Wen Shuangbai quickly grabbed his arm. "Wait!"

Even a cornered rabbit would bite. If they pushed the monkey too far, who would lead them to the stone?

Meanwhile, Xie Ziyin promptly reset the Monkey King’s jaw and confirmed, "You’ll take us?"

"Y-yes, wuwu..." The Monkey King, having narrowly escaped a fecal fate, couldn’t hold back its sobs. That had been too close! "I’ll take you, just stop!"

Wen Shuangbai smiled approvingly, her expression one of a teacher pleased with a promising student. "Good."

She tugged the Fire Feather Whip, hauling the Monkey King upright. "Let’s go now."

Best not to give it time to reconsider.

"But the stars aren’t—" The Monkey King glanced at the sky, then froze mid-sentence, its eyes widening in shock.

Wait, what?

Had it—had it just spoken human words?

It could talk now?!

After decades of cultivation, the Monkey King had never managed human speech. Stunned, it stammered, "Did I... just talk like you?"

Wen Shuangbai gave it a look. "Yes. You’re not human, but you did just speak our language."

Even if the pronunciation was a bit off.

The Monkey King was overjoyed.

Oh, praise the heavens! It could finally speak!!

But the joys of one are the burdens of another.

Xie Ziyin couldn’t care less about the monkey’s linguistic breakthrough. His only question was: "Why can’t we go now?"

"After the event, no confrontation... the t-i-m-e is not right." The Monkey King struggled to adjust its pronunciation, shedding its initial awkwardness as its speech grew smoother. It lifted its furry head, pointing at the moon above. "The moon must reach that spot—dong!—for the cave to open."

Everyone looked up.

Wen Shuangbai had been transmigrated into this world for nearly two months now, yet she still couldn’t reliably estimate the time just by looking at the moon.

In the end, it was Shen Hefeng who told them, "Roughly around the third watch of Yin hour."

Eyeing the cunning monkey whose gaze darted around shiftily, Shen Hefeng didn’t trust its integrity. He took out a tortoise shell to divine, only to find that this time, the monkey was telling the truth.

Since they were about to enter the Taihua Stone Grotto, Shen Hefeng decided to cast another divination.

The baby-faced Taoist youth stared at the tortoise shell on the ground with a strange expression.

Back in the modern world, Wen Shuangbai had occasionally dabbled in zodiac signs and tarot readings—not truly believing, but leaning toward "good omens count, bad ones don’t." Seeing his reaction, she couldn’t help but ask, "What’s the verdict?"

"Hmm, it doesn’t say whether it’s good or bad." Shen Hefeng pointed at the tortoise shell, where spiritual lines meandered like a sand painting. "This scene depicts farmers during the busy season. As the saying goes, ‘Farmers have little leisure in the fifth month; their labor doubles.’ The divination suggests we won’t have much rest ahead."

Wen Shuangbai glanced at it and, with an optimistic attitude, said, "Doesn’t that just mean we’ll succeed in getting in?"

Shen Hefeng: "Hmm..."

While divination wasn’t that straightforward—it only indicated possibilities—there was no harm in his junior sister thinking that way.

Since the metaphysical signs foretold little sleep ahead, and it was Xie Ziyin’s turn to keep watch tonight, Wen Shuangbai promptly found a clean spot, lay down, and fell asleep in three seconds.

Xie Ziyin, standing not far away: "..."

Still tied up like a zongzi, the Monkey King watched as the rope’s owner drifted off and asked Xie Ziyin, "W-what about me? Isn’t she going to untie me?"

Xie Ziyin: "Not my problem. Don’t ask me."

Monkey King: "Aren’t you all in this together?"

Xie Ziyin ignored it, and the Monkey King didn’t dare wake Wen Shuangbai.

It had a feeling that among these people, the pair in green and white robes were the most terrifying.

Resigned, the Monkey King ordered its subjects to return to their nest.

It had already confirmed—these people were its destined opportunity!

How could they sleep so soundly when the ground was littered with monkey droppings?

Xie Ziyin meditated cross-legged for a while, thinking he could endure it.

But less than three minutes later, the man could take no more. He emptied a beast-hide sack from his storage ring—originally meant for spirit herbs—and began coldly sweeping away the "garbage" with his spiritual energy.

The Monkey King was baffled: "W-why are you picking up our poop?!"

Xie Ziyin replied icily, "To cook for you."

The Monkey King stuttered in fear: "...Y-you keep it for yourself."

In the end, Xie Ziyin stood alone on the grassy slope, silent for a long moment, as if wrestling with some internal dilemma. Finally, he resignedly placed the filled sack back into his storage ring.

At that moment, the Monkey King’s gaze toward him changed completely.

Outside the secret realm.

The illusion crystal ball displayed a bird’s-eye view, capturing the overall scene but unable to zoom in on individual expressions or pick up sounds.

The elders were utterly confused: "Why is that Medical Pavilion disciple collecting... that?"

The Medical Pavilion elder’s expression was odd before he finally explained, "Spirit beast droppings are excellent for accelerating spirit seed germination and nurturing spiritual plants..."

Besides, they weren’t exactly cheap to buy...

The elders nodded in understanding.

"They spent the whole night capturing the long-armed monkey but didn’t even harvest its demon core. What are they even doing?"

"Seems like they’re searching for something."

"Bai Lijue already obtained the fifth-grade Dragonflame Eyeburst Snake. What else in this secret realm could be worth such effort?"

Elder Qian sat to the side, his face grim.

The Taihua Mountain Secret Realm had always been under his supervision. Apart from the sect leader, he was the only one who could locate the Taihua Stone.

Well, the monkey and rabbit in the secret realm could too.

Originally ordinary beasts, they had accidentally stumbled into the Taihua Stone Grotto years ago.

The Taihua Stone, a sect treasure imbued with a wisp of heavenly providence, had blessed the two creatures with enlightenment, granting them intelligence and turning them into spirit beasts.

Their aura matched the grotto’s, allowing them to enter the hidden realm at the right time.

If they could cultivate into full-fledged demons, it would be a virtuous achievement. So Elder Qian had left them to grow freely in the secret realm.

Watching the two groups converge in the illusion crystal ball, Elder Qian’s heart ached as he realized their goal: "They’re after the Taihua Stone!"

The other elders immediately understood.

Since the Taihua Stone wasn’t their concern, they were happy to spectate, praising, "These youngsters are clever. The Taihua Stone’s value is beyond measure..."

At the second watch of Yin hour, Wen Shuangbai, refreshed from her nap, stood by the valley stream with the Monkey King in tow, waiting for the entrance to appear.

The full moon tonight was partially veiled by drifting clouds, casting a hazy veil over the night.

As the hour approached, the clouds dissipated at a visible pace.

Everyone held their breath, poised for action.

Wen Shuangbai remained vigilant, wary of the protagonist group’s arrival.

But the surroundings were eerily calm, and no one sensed anything amiss.

Suddenly, the long-armed spirit monkey twitched its nose and glared sideways, snarling, "Stupid wabbit! Get out here!"

A rabbit?

Wen Shuangbai tensed, following its gaze.

In the shadows, Lu Ying was arranging a Seven Kill Array with spiritwood stakes, intending to eliminate these interlopers before they could even use their passage tokens.

Of the five, only Lu Jiayao was unfamiliar—the other four were people he wanted dead.

Now was the perfect moment to bury them forever in the Taihua Mountain Secret Realm.

The rabbit nestled in Yu Xiaoxiao’s arms trembled at the monkey’s call, frantically struggling.

"Ah!" Yu Xiaoxiao gasped, tightening her grip to soothe it.

The noise alerted Yin Xuan, who instinctively sensed danger. With a burst of his full power, he thrust his sword through the darkness straight at Lu Ying.

Lu Ying barely dodged in time, his nearly complete array crumbling to dust.

"Damn it," he cursed under his breath, shooting a venomous glare at the spirit rabbit.

Everything happened in an instant—a pinecone-shaped peak pagoda, moving at blinding speed, shot toward them.

Wen Shuangbai’s eyelid twitched.

Bai Lijue’s artifact from the first round of trials was actually a Cloud Sandalwood Pinecone!

If this pagoda came too close, it would suck people inside, trapping them to their doom.

Wen Shuangbai had read in books that if crafted well, this pagoda could shrink to the size of a pebble, ensnaring opponents before they even realized its presence.

The Fire-Plume Whip, which had been restraining the spirit monkey, suddenly lashed out like a serpent. With a sharp crack, it struck the Cloud-Pine Pagoda, knocking it off its intended path.

Wen Shuangbai had to divide her attention—defending against Bai Lijue’s pagoda while ensuring the monkey didn’t escape.

Sure enough, the moment the spirit monkey broke free, it lunged for the rabbit.

Lu Ying’s group sprang into action, but Yin Xuan, Shen Hefeng, and Lu Jiayao were already overwhelmed.

Wen Shuangbai had intended to press her advantage against Bai Lijue, but seeing the chaos, she moved to recapture the monkey.

Then, in a flash of white robes, Xie Ziyin darted forward with eerie agility, closing the distance in an instant. With lightning speed, he seized the monkey by the scruff of its neck.

As the Cloud-Pine Pagoda closed in again, Xie Ziyin dodged swiftly, dragging the monkey behind Wen Shuangbai for cover.

She exhaled in relief. After days of traveling together, she could tell Xie Ziyin had been holding back.

But his movement… it resembled the Nine-Infant Phantom Steps described in the texts. Wasn’t that a technique he only mastered later, during his descent into madness?

No time to dwell on it. Wen Shuangbai flicked her whip, sending the pagoda flying once more while simultaneously unleashing a barrage of Thousand-Blade Leaves from the whip’s tail.

Bai Lijue, hidden in the shadows, barely dodged. Seizing the opening, Wen Shuangbai lashed out repeatedly, precisely striking the pagoda into the gurgling night stream.

The Cloud-Pine Pagoda’s core material was cloud-pine wood—resistant to fire but fatally weak to water. When soaked, it would sink, which was why artificers had to reinforce it with waterproofing arrays during the final stage of crafting.

Perhaps because Bai Lijue had been late to the first round of trials, he’d missed this crucial step. Wen Shuangbai could tell the array on the pagoda had been hastily patched—like locking the barn after the horse had bolted, utterly useless.

The pagoda was ruined.

In the shadows, the noble young master clenched his fists, barely maintaining his composure to avoid shaming his prestigious family.

Before the illusion crystal sphere, the elders watched unblinkingly, not wanting to miss a single moment of the spectacle.

One elder couldn’t believe his eyes. "What’s wrong with Bai Lijue? His pagoda was destroyed so easily?"

Shentu Ming already knew the reason.

In theory, crafting the Cloud-Pine Pagoda was far more complex than forging the Fire-Plume Whip or Thousand-Blade Leaves—it required spatial arrays only those in the Enlightened Aperture Realm could inscribe. But Bai Lijue had ranked lower than Wen Shuangbai in the first round precisely because he’d failed to complete the final step.

Shentu Ming remarked, "Bai Lijue’s pagoda was flawed from the start."

"Unacceptable. He’s a scion of the Bai family! Among this batch of disciples, isn’t he the undisputed top talent in your Thousand Mechanism Pavilion?"

Shentu Ming shook his head. "It’s too soon to say."

The path of cultivation was long, and one’s current strength wasn’t the sole measure. If anything, he saw greater potential in Wen Shuangbai.

A skilled artificer needed more than crafting prowess—they had to possess sharp eyes, capable of discerning flaws in an opponent’s artifacts at a glance.

In this clash, Bai Lijue had clearly been outmatched.

He’d failed to notice the hidden Thousand-Blade Leaves in Wen Shuangbai’s whip, yet she had instantly pinpointed the fatal weakness in his pagoda.

Back in the secret realm, seeing her team at a disadvantage, Yu Xiaoxiao—who had been reluctant to confront Xie Ziyin’s group—bit her lip. Handing the rabbit to their team’s healer with strict instructions to care for it, she drew her sword and engaged Yin Xuan.

With Yu Xiaoxiao keeping Yin Xuan occupied, Lu Ying broke free.

As the hour of Yin (3–5 AM) approached its third mark, the night clouds had dispersed without notice, revealing a full, luminous moon.

The stars dimmed, their light seemingly drawn toward the moon, while something in the sky above stirred faintly.

A sign—the boundary within a boundary was about to manifest.

No more delays.

Lu Ying’s venomous gaze locked onto Wen Shuangbai and Xie Ziyin.

After the first trial, in the infirmary, he’d wanted to kill them both.

But within the sect, disciples weren’t permitted to slaughter one another. Here in the secret realm, however, that rule didn’t apply.

And if Wen Shuangbai died, Yin Xuan would surely falter, allowing Yu Xiaoxiao to break free.

Without hesitation, Lu Ying sliced his palm and smeared blood onto his Divine Wood Talisman. The surrounding spiritual energy surged toward him as he traced an array with the bloodied talisman, closing the distance to Wen Shuangbai and Xie Ziyin in an instant—murderous intent thick in the air.

The spirit monkey sensed the danger, its golden fur bristling as it thrashed wildly.

Xie Ziyin tightened his grip, his eyes flickering with something unreadable.

At the critical moment, Wen Shuangbai shouted, "Xie Ziyin, the shit!"

Upon waking to find the valley mysteriously cleansed of monkey droppings—with no other suspects—the culprit was obvious.

Xie Ziyin: "…………"

His spellcasting interrupted, he pressed his lips together and hurled a quarter-bag’s worth of feces.

His aim was impeccable. Wen Shuangbai’s whip snapped through the air, flinging the dung straight at Lu Ying.

In an instant, the excrement rained down like heavenly blossoms, showering Lu Ying’s vicinity.

Born into privilege, these young masters would frown at a single stain on their robes—how could they endure such humiliation?

Realizing what had just hit him, Lu Ying’s eyes nearly bulged from their sockets as he scrambled back. "Outrageous! How dare you, you wretch!"

Pleased with the tactic’s effectiveness, Wen Shuangbai grinned. With the boundary’s opening imminent, she resolved to drive the enemy back. "Again!"

Xie Ziyin tossed another quarter-bag.

After whipping the dung to repel Lu Ying further, Wen Shuangbai commanded, "Last round!"

This time, Xie Ziyin emptied the entire bag without hesitation, though a faint trace of regret flickered in his eyes.

Wen Shuangbai’s whip became a blur as she sent the final volley toward the larger skirmish.

There, the remaining four of Lu Ying’s team clashed with Wen Shuangbai’s three allies.

The valley became a downpour of foul rain.

Amid the deluge, Lu Ying, Yu Xiaoxiao, and Bai Lijue retreated in panic. Meanwhile, Yin Xuan, Shen Hefeng, and Lu Jiayao—already desensitized from previous exposure—pressed forward undeterred, returning to Wen Shuangbai’s side covered in filth, so long as none got on their faces.

The hour of Yin struck its third mark.

The moon’s reflection shimmered in the valley’s stream, and in a blinding flash, it seemed as though the moon had plummeted from the sky.

At that exact moment, the spirit monkey suddenly cried, "Grab me! Now!" and leaped into the stream.

Xie Ziyin, still gripping its neck, followed.

The other four reacted instantly.

Yin Xuan seized its left arm, Shen Hefeng its right, and Lu Jiayao latched onto Shen Hefeng.

Wen Shuangbai was covering the rear for the group when, in the rush of the moment, she reached out without a second thought and grabbed someone’s hand.

The touch of that hand was smooth as jade, the bones elegantly defined.

It was Xie Ziyin.

In the blink of an eye, the five of them—along with a monkey—vanished from that place, disappearing from the view of the illusion crystal’s projection as well.

Lu Ying and the others reacted swiftly, chasing after them in an instant, only to plunge into the water with a series of splashes.

The stream was bitterly cold now, its chill piercing enough to freeze a cultivator’s flesh and bones.

Realizing the situation, Lu Ying shouted at the nearby healer, "Idiot! Hurry up and bring that spirit rabbit over here!"

The healer’s face turned deathly pale as he stumbled back in fear, instinctively clutching his bleeding finger. "Th-the rabbit bit me and… ran away."

Meanwhile, within the seemingly distant yet impossibly close Taihua Stone Cave, Wen Shuangbai and the others stood frozen, staring wide-eyed at the scene before them, their breaths held in stunned silence.

The Taihua Stone Cave was an enclosed space, its walls dotted with countless hollowed-out openings where light from the void outside poured in.

Wen Shuangbai blinked once, twice, then again—but the sight before her remained unchanged.

As far as the eye could see, the cavern was filled to the brim with shimmering, multicolored gemstones, stretching endlessly into the distance.

The spiritual energy in the air was so thick it felt almost tangible, and Wen Shuangbai could sense a faint warmth radiating from her spiritual bones, as if she were floating in a dreamlike trance.

Xie Ziyin, almost unconsciously, gently rubbed the soft, smooth skin of the woman’s fingertips before tugging Wen Shuangbai forward a few steps.

A moment later, their eyes suddenly met—each staring at the other before realization dawned. Their expressions darkened instantly, and like two repelling magnets, they sprang apart in a flash.