Two Flowers Bloom, Both Are Oddballs
As a vengeful ghost, Flower Children’s hatred for the Yao and Wei families had gone on without end, but his remorse over being powerless was even greater. For centuries, he had repeatedly reconstructed the scenes etched in his memory, gnashing his teeth as he thought, “If only I had done this back then…”
But memories were memories, after all. They were like a play rehearsed onstage, with no room for improvisation.
There were too many things in this world that he had only understood in a flash at the moment of his death—when it was already too late, and he had become a lonely spirit with no one to plead his case to.
It was only now, after the formation created this illusionary realm for him to command, that he had been able to lay out his blood and tears before others for the first time, allowing them to “step into the scene” and experience it firsthand.
…He just hadn’t expected Shu Fu to spend less than a minute “inside” before smashing the “scene” three times with a brick.
“What are you doing?!”
Flower Children nearly shouted aloud. “Who—who told you to hit them?!”
“Huh?”
Shu Fu answered in her mind, “What’s wrong? Can’t I hit them? Don’t you want to beat them up? No way.”
“Huh?”
Flower Children was stunned by her question. “Of course I do… No, that’s not the point! That’s not what I wanted you to experience!”
“Then your setup has a problem. How can you give me control of the body?”
Shu Fu spoke with such righteous conviction that she did not feel guilty in the slightest. “I’ve never put up with this kind of crap in my entire life. As long as I can still move, no one can stop me from hitting people. Look, I have two fists, and there’s a whole group of idiots over there. Idiots and my fists have this powerful attraction to each other, kind of like the Earth—like the ground attracting people. You know what I mean?”
“What do you mea—”
“What I mean is—I simply can’t control myself when it comes to greeting them with my fists! In the face!”
Shu Fu shouted the words in her mind with perfect rhythm, and her hands moved in perfect rhythm too.
The “Flower Children” in the illusionary realm was merely a mortal and could not use spiritual power. So Shu Fu focused on beating up the leader. She started by smashing a brick into his face, knocking him to the ground, then straddled him. With a brick in her left hand and a broken roof tile in her right, she took aim at his cheeks and gave him a savage back-and-forth beating.
Every time she struck him, she cursed in Flower Children’s childish voice: “May your parents celebrate your funeral!” and “I’ll play the suona at your grave!”
Flower Children could only stare in astonishment.
…Wait. You’re not even using your fists?!
“What are you doing?! Let Big Brother Mu go!”
“Hua Jieyou, you’ve gone crazy!”
“Hua Jieyou” was the given name of the elder of the Hua brothers, while the younger brother was called “Hua Wangchou.” Their parents had practically exhausted their entire lifetime’s supply of artistic inspiration on those names.
It was easy to imagine that before Flower Children became infamous, their parents had once poured all their love and hopes into their sons, earnestly wishing for them to live carefree lives, free of worry, and to enjoy peace and good fortune.
The children watched helplessly as Shu Fu’s hand rose and the brick came down again and again. Terrified out of their wits, they shoved each other around for a while before a few of the older boys finally summoned their courage and moved forward, attempting to pull Shu Fu off their leader.
“Hua Jieyou, don’t push it…”
“‘Push it’? Do you even know how to write those words before you come spouting off at me?”
Shu Fu ignored them completely. She grabbed the swollen, pig-faced “Big Brother Mu” by the nose and used the sharp edge of the broken tile to slice a gash across his eyelid. Blood immediately gushed out, seeping into his eye, which had swollen nearly shut.
Big Brother Mu’s vision turned completely red. Thinking he had been blinded, he let out a slaughtered-pig shriek.
“Hua Jieyou, you son of a bitch! How dare you hurt my eye! Just you wait! I abso—abso… absolutely won’t let you off!!!”
“Ooh, I’m so scared.”
After finishing her combo, Shu Fu did not bother getting tangled up with them. She leaped to her feet, turned around, and ran toward the location of the Hua residence as she remembered it.
“Fine! You hit someone and still want to run? Chase him! Hurry up and chase him!”
Big Brother Mu was furious enough to see red, but his legs were too weak to stand. All he could do was roll around on the ground and throw a tantrum.
“Catch that little bastard and bring him back! I’m going to skin him alive!”
Shu Fu had been given a short, stocky body. Running in it felt awkward, and with her short arms and legs, she was constantly worried about pulling something in her groin.
Still, she followed the route from Flower Children’s memories, leading a long string of enraged brats on a merry chase until she successfully reached a narrow alley near the Hua residence.
The children came panting after her. They had not even had time to plant their hands on their hips and deliver some classic villain line like “Let’s see where you can run now!” when Shu Fu casually snatched up a bamboo pole leaning against the wall. She pointed it toward the branches of a crooked old tree beside the road and gave them a sharp upward jab—
—and knocked down a wasp nest the size of a cooking pot.
Shu Fu shouted, “Taste my sweeping attack that wipes out a thousand troops!”
“Waaaaah!!!”
The pole swept across the air, and the wasp nest exploded above the heads of the older boys in front. The furious wasps poured out like a black cloud and viciously descended upon their faces.
By the time the boys were sent tumbling and sprawling, their screams echoing down half the street, Shu Fu had already nimbly vaulted over the wall and vanished in a streak.
…
When Shu Fu returned to the Hua residence, she found the scene inside just as it had been before. Hua Father and Hua Mother sat facing each other, their brows furrowed with worry, as though they carried the bitter hardships and sorrow of an ordinary person’s entire half-life upon their shoulders.
The difference this time was that the younger of the Hua brothers was standing in the courtyard, gazing thoughtfully up at the sky. A tattered lilac-blue cloak hung over his shoulders.
Shu Fu remembered that cloak.
According to the previous illusion, Hua Wangchou had suffered a bout of chills when he was young. His mother, heartbroken to see him ill, had scraped together whatever she could and sewn him this cloak to keep him warm in winter. Hua Wangchou did not understand the significance of it. He only knew that he loved it, and he kept it wrapped tightly around himself regardless of the season.
Yet even that tiny bit of happiness had become a reason for others to mock and attack him.
His cloak had been yanked apart, splattered with mud, and trampled with footprints. Before long, it had gradually become unwearable.
Flower Children, hidden behind the scenes, suddenly caught sight of this sight and fell into a daze.
“Little brother…”
Of course, this “little brother” was not his actual younger brother. He was Jiang Xuesheng, whom Flower Children had sent into the illusionary realm to experience it firsthand, just like Shu Fu.
Their gazes met lightly in midair. In an instant, they understood each other without words.
“Fu… Big Brother, you’re back.”
According to the rules of the illusionary realm, the two of them had to play the roles of the Hua brothers and could not address each other by their real names. Aside from that, their actions were subject to very few restrictions.
Or rather, Flower Children had originally intended to impose certain restrictions. But after witnessing Shu Fu’s violent rampage just now, he had inexplicably decided not to interfere, choosing instead to see how they would behave.
“First… Little brother, are you all right?”
Shu Fu approached Jiang Xuesheng and took him by the shoulders with both hands, carefully examining him from head to toe.
Jiang Xuesheng had always been an old qin-dad who stood in place and dealt damage. Suddenly finding himself transformed into a defenseless bean sprout, he had genuinely worried her a little.
Fortunately, Jiang Xuesheng’s small face was still fair and clean, and his clothes were perfectly intact. Clearly, he had not been beaten.
Jiang Xuesheng blinked his bright, intelligent eyes. Then, the corners of his lips curved upward, revealing a neat row of pearly white teeth as he smiled at Shu Fu.
“I’m fine, big brother.”
Shu Fu: What the hell kind of play is this even.
The Flower Child had an innocent, delicate and pretty face, but with Jiang Xuesheng, that old fox of a thousand years, occupying the body, he somehow carried a mischievous glint in his eyes, looking for all the world like a clever, quick-witted little rascal.
That little rascal lifted one of Shu Fu's hands, his fingertips brushing over her reddened palm (the one that had turned red from hitting people with bricks), and blew on it gently with a look of deep concern, saying, "Brother, does it hurt?"
Shu Fu: "..."
Flower Child: "..."
Wait a minute, why is this scene getting weirder and weirder?
Shu Fu was just about to slap Jiang Xuesheng to make him act normally, when a burst of chaotic footsteps sounded outside the door. Several adult men and women stormed in aggressively, blocked the doorway and started yelling insults:
"Lao Hua, your son has done something terrible, you have to give us an explanation today!"
Father Hua's face paled drastically, and he shot to his feet, shouting, "You two, what other trouble have you gotten yourselves into now?!"
Shu Fu had no interest in bickering with him, and was just about to head for the door to give those entitled, unreasonable parents a piece of her mind, when Jiang Xuesheng suddenly raised a hand to press on her shoulder. "Brother, leave this to me."
He paused for a moment, then raised his voice and said, "I have an explanation to offer, would all of you care to hear it?"
"...What?" The burly man at the front looked suspicious, and stopped in his steps reluctantly. "My son was beaten so badly his head is bleeding, he can't even crawl. What else is there to talk about? So cruel at such a young age, you really are evil cultivators' spawn!"
"Don't be hasty, I have my own explanation."
Jiang Xuesheng flashed a pure, innocent smile, his thin lips parted, and he said clearly, word by word:
"Your son had a mother who gave birth to him, but no father to raise him. He ended up acting like a beast with not a shred of humanity. My brother couldn't bear to watch it, so he took pity and kindly took the place of his late father to teach him a lesson, and knock some sense into him to turn him back into a proper human. Tell me, isn't that a wonderful, great thing?"
"You—" The man flew into a rage, his eyes bulging as big as copper bells. He stomped his foot and tried to charge into the courtyard, "You little brat, I'll teach you a lesson today!!"
The others were equally enraged by Jiang Xuesheng's words, and followed closely behind the man, stepping forward, "My kid was stung all over by wasps too! Don't let them get away..."
Before they could finish their sentence, a loud "boom" exploded. Flames and gunpowder burst out violently on the ground right at the doorway, shooting upwards in an instant, swallowing all of their figures completely.
Only a string of inhuman, shrill wails echoed in Shu Fu's ears for a long time.
Shu Fu: "...Little brother, what did you just do?"
Jiang Xuesheng: "It's homemade bombs. I made the homemade bombs."
He explained, "I know where to find all the materials in this city, I've had these ready for ages, just waiting for them to come knocking on the door. I know every little detail about this place like the back of my hand."
Shu Fu: "What a coincidence, actually so do I."
We're already on the second playthrough now, finding a few items is no challenge at all.
Flower Child: "..."
He suddenly felt that letting these two people enter the formation to experience the scenario was completely meaningless.
As the Flower Child shifted his thoughts, the surroundings around Jiang Xuesheng and Shu Fu faded back into nothingness. The two of them also reverted to their original appearances, standing in a hazy, pitch-black void.
Shu Fu was the first to speak, "Hua Jieyou, are you satisfied now?"
"..." The Flower Child stayed silent for a long moment, then mumbled in a low voice, "It's been so long since anyone called me by my name. Everyone forgot, they just keep calling me 'Flower Child' over and over... But that's not my name. Not when I was alive, and not after I died. I have never been just Flower Child."
His tone had softened a little, but at this point, it suddenly took a sharp turn. "I'm not satisfied. Why should I be? I realized something. You two are powerful cultivators who can travel anywhere in the heavens and earth. To you, the despair I went through is nothing more than a trivial, easy little thing.
"But you are not me. You took the identities of my younger brother and me, and turned our fate around in the illusion. But does that change anything? No, nothing will. What has already happened can never be undone, and my resentment will never disappear."
Ugh, this client is really hard to please, Shu Fu couldn't help but think to herself. But considering all that Hua Jieyou went through when he was alive, his current stubbornness and paranoia were completely understandable.
Jiang Xuesheng pondered for a moment, then spoke slowly and unhurriedly, "If that's the case, why don't we try a different approach."
"Hua Jieyou, use your illusion to pull up the most despairing... no, wait, I don't think I've ever despaired in my life... fine, then pull up the memories from right before I died, and see how I react. How does that sound?"
"You—what trick are you playing?" Hua Jieyou was startled, his tone shifting abruptly. "You immortal cultivators value your own secrets and life stories more than anything else, you would never reveal them to outsiders. I know that much."
"It's no big deal, I just feel like telling you a little story," Jiang Xuesheng said casually, looking completely unconcerned. "Besides, when you're going through a bad time, seeing someone else go through a worse situation always cheers you up, right?"
"............"
Hua Jieyou stared at him intently for a long time, he couldn't figure out at all what this man was up to, what he had hidden in his sleeves. In the end, he reluctantly agreed with a doubtful "fine".
"Since you put it that way, then let me see for myself how unshakable your wills really are."
Shu Fu froze. "Wait a second, do I have to do this too? I've never despaired either, and also, my memories... they're a bit special..."
Hua Jieyou ignored her excuses, and without another word, activated the illusion to start retracing Shu Fu and Jiang Xuesheng's memories.
He would have been better off not doing it, because as soon as he started, he opened a total can of worms. When it came to Shu Fu's memories, all he could think was one thing:
What on earth is all this?!
What are those square, boxy buildings?
What are those metal boxes zooming down the streets?
Why is everyone dressed so weirdly?
What are those little thin slabs everyone is holding in their hands? Are those magic artifacts with spirits inside, chattering nonstop?
...
While the Flower Child was completely stunned by modern civilization, Shu Fu, watching from a third-person perspective, saw herself with shoulder-length black hair, wearing a formal business suit and shiny leather shoes, striding briskly across the road.
As someone who ended up transmigrating to this world, she didn't trip and hit her head, nor did she get hit by a speeding truck.
Right across the road, she saw a tall, strong man beating up a young girl. The girl was cowering in fear, holding her head to shield herself, while fists and rained down all over her body.
The man's eyes were bloodshot, and a glint of cold light flashed in his hand—he had pulled out a fruit knife out of nowhere.
Then, Shu Fu saw herself dash forward, grab the man's arm with one hand, kick hard at his vulnerable lower body, and use her other hand to snatch the fruit knife away, hurling it far away into the moat on the side.
But she never expected that the man had come fully prepared. In the split second when she threw the fruit knife away, he pulled out a kitchen knife from under his coat!
"..."
Shu Fu spread her hands out, and shrugged with a perfectly calm attitude.
"That's why I told you. My way of dying is really dumb and kind of silly, it's nothing compared to what you went through."
The best thing out of this misfortune was that the man panicked the second he landed the knife blow, turned tail and ran right away, so the girl narrowly escaped with her life. There was a police booth not far off, so he would be arrested soon enough, and no one else would get hurt.
Getting killed by a kitchen knife was a pretty lousy way to go, but at least her death wasn't for nothing.
From that moment on, Shu Fu had come to understand an unshakable truth: no matter how good your martial arts skills are, you're still screwed against a kitchen knife.
If you want to be completely fearless, you have to be able to catch a kitchen knife with your abs.
"But..."
She circled around her own body that was splayed motionless on the ground, looked down at the sobbing girl, then suddenly broke into a smile and said, "Thanks to you, I finally have a proper explanation for everything now."
That girl was a college student. Aside from her slightly soft, timid look, she was brimming over with bright, vibrant youthful energy.
Her student ID had fallen right by her feet, and the name Jiang Ruoshui was printed clearly on the card.
If karma really existed in this world, this was probably where every single karmic tie began.
Of course, maybe this was just a total coincidence, and the two things had nothing to do with each other at all. Maybe she'd just hit rock bottom with the worst luck imaginable, and then caught a break that let her get a second chance at life.
Who could really say?
It didn't matter anymore.
"..."
Hua Jieyou was completely lost, like he'd fallen straight into a thick fog, and he had no clue what was going on at all, but he still blurted out a question on instinct.
"You... died for a total stranger. Do you ever regret it?"
Shu Fu smiled and tossed the question right back at him. "Look at me, in this ridiculous state I'm in. Do I look like I regret it? It takes all kinds to make a world, and there are always a few real oddballs out there. I guess I'm just the weirdest one of the bunch."
"So now you can believe it... if we'd lived in the same timeline, even if I had nothing to defend myself with, even if I had to risk my own life, I would have absolutely, definitely found a way to save you."
I'm sorry I didn't get to meet you sooner.
