He Was a Free and Happy Little Sprite
Danger, Perfected He Meng. Danger.
Three thousand years ago, the adorable and brainless Young Lord Qingluan probably never imagined that the [MOSAIC] notes he left behind would expose the identity of one of his descendants, who had withdrawn from the world and hidden away in the mountains.
And the moment that identity was revealed, fate grabbed him by the thin scruff of his neck.
Jiang Xuesheng held He Meng by the nape with one hand and commented without the slightest mercy, “Grand Elder, is it? Judging by your bone age, you’re at least eight hundred years old, if not a thousand. Yet your cultivation is only at the early Nascent Soul stage, about the same as that of a Honghu who hasn’t even lived three hundred years… The Shi family really struck gold with a descendant like you.”
Shu Fu silently did the math.
Wu Yao the old wyrm was also around eight hundred years old. Before he was injured, he had already reached the late Nascent Soul stage. If he hadn’t been betrayed by his Dao companion, he would have had a very good chance of advancing to the Deity Transformation stage before his lifespan ran out.
The difference between the early and late Nascent Soul stages might seem small, but in reality, it was a distance many people could spend their entire lives failing to cross.
As for Perfected He Meng, there was a very good chance that he had simply slept through all the years others had spent burying their heads in cultivation.
Perfected He Meng’s cultivation was mediocre and his hobbies were bizarre, but his mind worked quickly. The moment he heard this, he immediately caught on.
“Ah,” he said. “Dragon Lord?”
Jiang Xuesheng said coldly, “I’m impressed you still know.”
“Of course I know. Everyone in my clan knows that if someone lectures us like a grandfather scolding his grandson, then that person is either the Dragon Lord or the Phoenix Lord.”
“I’ve also heard that the Phoenix Lord is dignified, solemn, and righteous, while the Dragon Lord is somewhat sarcastic… Now that I’ve seen you in person, I can say the rumors were absolutely accurate.”
Shi Xiaolou joked as he casually sidestepped, slipping out of Jiang Xuesheng’s clutches like an eel. He turned around and stood upright.
His hair was tousled, his face as lovely as a peach blossom, and his long, narrow eyes were clouded with moist, hazy mist, as though he were still half-asleep and had no idea what year it was.
“The Qingluan clan’s Shi Xiaolou greets the Dragon Lord. Congratulations on the awakening of your spirit and your return to the mortal world.”
He called him “Dragon Lord,” but there was not a trace of respect in his expression. He merely bent at the waist in a lazy bow, which apparently counted as a formal greeting.
Naturally, the outer robe Shu Fu had draped over him slid down to his waist with a soft hiss, hanging precariously from his hips.
“…”
Jiang Xuesheng’s brows furrowed. With a slight movement of his fingers, spiritual power spilled from his palm and shrouded Shi Xiaolou’s most critical parts in a layer of mist. From a distance, it looked exactly like a mosaic—or the familiar “holy light” seen in animation.
Shu Fu: Damn, you can manually censor things?!
I’ve learned something new. Hopefully I’ll never need to use it in this lifetime.
Shi Xiaolou did not care about his appearance in the slightest. With half his robe hanging off him and a mosaic covering his lower half, he calmly asked Jiang Xuesheng, “Dragon Lord, may I ask why you’ve come? The Qingluan clan has long since withdrawn from worldly affairs. Whatever it is you’re looking for, I’m afraid you won’t find it with me.”
Jiang Xuesheng did not bother with pleasantries and got straight to the point.
“After three thousand years of effort, the Jiao clan has found a way to purify demonic energy. It requires the combined efforts of the Five Phoenixes. They awakened my spirit and borrowed me a body so that I could walk the mortal world for this very purpose.”
Shi Xiaolou was stunned. His half-lidded eyes opened a little wider.
“Really? You mean my great-grandfather still has hope? He can come out of the seal?”
Jiang Xuesheng was stunned as well.
“You’re… Shi Chunyu’s grandson?”
Shi Chunyu was the Young Lord Qingluan three thousand years ago.
During the war between the righteous and demonic paths, the Qingluan clan leader had decided to suppress the seal and prove the Dao with his own life. Shi Chunyu, the Young Lord at the time, had accepted the clan leader’s position in an hour of crisis while sobbing loudly, “Dad, I’m scared! Dragon Bro, I’m scared!”
A thousand years passed in the blink of an eye. Even the third generation after Shi Chunyu had already been given the title of “Grand Elder.”
Jiang Xuesheng sighed inwardly at the merciless passage of time, but there was no way he would admit that he was old.
Besides, his surprise stemmed from another reason entirely.
“That stupid bird Shi Chunyu actually found a woman willing to marry him? And they even had a child without anyone knowing?!”
He had mocked the Qingluan clan as a bunch of idiots for so many years, and this was the first time he had learned that the other man had found a partner before he did!!!
Shi Xiaolou said, “…I’d really like to say something in my grandfather’s defense, but Grandma has never said anything about him, so I suppose I’ll let it go.”
Jiang Xuesheng stared deeply at him, his eyes filled with the benevolent compassion one might show a mentally challenged child.
“No matter. You look just like him.”
Shi Xiaolou said mournfully, “Dragon Lord, why are you insulting people?”
Shu Fu: “…”
We really had no idea what to say, so we could only light a candle for the Qingluan family.
Now that everything had been laid out in the open, the rest was much easier.
The Qingluan clan had secluded itself from the world mainly because it wanted to avoid trouble. But saving one’s own grandfather did not count as trouble. No matter how much of a useless shut-in Shi Xiaolou was, he couldn’t possibly be worse than the Calabash Brothers.
Thus, the dragon and bird exchanged contact information and sat down to discuss the changes that had taken place over the past thousand years.
Jiang Xuesheng was the Dragon Lord, but he had none of the airs that title implied. Shi Xiaolou could perhaps be considered half a subordinate, but he did not take his superior particularly seriously either. In another setting, someone would certainly have scolded him, “A subordinate is not allowed to go around kissing the boss on the mouth.”
For a while, the atmosphere, which had originally been fraught with danger, gradually relaxed. It even took on the warmth and harmony of a family reunion between grandfather and grandson.
Most importantly, Shi Xiaolou finally put on some clothes and stopped assaulting Shu Fu’s eyes.
Jiang Xuesheng: Much better.
But by sheer coincidence, Shu Fu suddenly thought of something.
“Right. Senior Shi, you said earlier that I carry the auras of a dragon, a phoenix, a Honghu, and a Yuezhuo. What does that mean?”
The dragon aura probably came from Jiang Xuesheng’s spiritual power. The Honghu aura came from the goose-feather robe she was wearing. And the Yuezhuo aura came from the diary left behind by Big Bro Zhong Bukui.
Then where had the phoenix aura come from?
Or could it be that Jiang Xuesheng was a hybrid who possessed both dragon and phoenix auras, offering her a two-for-one deal?
Shi Xiaolou said casually, “I don’t know either. I’m skilled in artifact refinement and especially sensitive to all kinds of subtle spiritual energies. I suppose you must have had some fortuitous encounter involving the Phoenix clan, or obtained something left behind by them.”
He thought for a moment, then considerately added, “In any case, the spiritual energies of the various clans within you are in perfect harmony. They all help nourish your meridians, so it isn’t a bad thing. Any divine beast that has come into contact with you must have taken a great liking to you and been willing to aid your cultivation.”
Shu Fu: That makes me sound like the heroine of a harem story who’s beloved by everyone, but I’m the only one who knows that the only thing I’ve attracted is loneliness.
Shi Xiaolou said, “So, are you really not considering adding me to the list?”
Shu Fu said, “What?”
“I’m serious. Think about it.”
Shi Xiaolou straightened his back and drew himself up with unusual solemnity. For once, he looked completely serious.
“You possess extraordinary talent and great fortune. At such a young age, you’ve already reached the Half-Step Golden Core stage. If you engaged in dual cultivation with me, the harmonization of yin and yang would greatly improve your cultivation, allowing you to advance a thousand miles in a single day.”
“Among yang-imbued beings, dragons and phoenixes are the best. But the phoenix clan has vanished without a trace, and as for the Dragon Lord—one look at him tells you he’s arrogant enough to look down on everyone, and he’s guarded his pure yang for three thousand years. How about it? My cultivation may be lacking, but I’m still a Nascent Soul cultivator, and I also know the arts of dual cultivation and hehuan. One night is all it would take to help you form your core, so you can personally slay Ling Fengqing on the arena stage…”
Shu Fu: “?????”
“Wait, what? Senior Shi, please stop for a moment.”
—Hold on, this isn’t a school bus for kindergarteners!
Shu Fu was nearly drowned in a sea of question marks. She hurriedly raised a hand to stop Shi Xiaolou from going on, while simultaneously reaching back to restrain Jiang Xuesheng, whose gaze had suddenly turned razor-sharp.
“You said you know dual cultivation. You… have that function too?”
“Of course.”
Shi Xiaolou proudly thrust out his chest. “I have no ambitions in this life beyond indulging in poetry, wine, and scenic landscapes, and enjoying every pleasure the mortal world has to offer. I’d die beneath the peonies and be a romantic even in death. How could I possibly pass up one of the greatest pleasures in life, dual cultivation?”
“Little girl, don’t worry. I was originally a bird, and though my human form is only an imitation, I can control it freely. Whether I have certain… features or not is entirely up to me. If you find anything unsuitable, I can adjust it at any time. I can adapt to the circumstances and cater to the needs of different women…”
Shu Fu: “…”
They both cultivated the hehuan path, but Shi Xiaolou’s attitude toward dual cultivation was carefree and uninhibited, worlds apart from Wu Yao’s. In fact, to Shu Fu, this was what a hehuan cultivator ought to be like.
…Although he was a little—no, extremely—shameless.
The extremely shameless Shi Xiaolou looked perfectly sincere, his eyes clear and bright. “Little girl, care to give it a try?”
“No.”
Shu Fu rejected him outright, then instantly came up with an excuse. “You’re not as good-looking as my master. I couldn’t sleep with you.”
Besides, your figure isn’t as good as his either.
She recalled Jiang Xuesheng’s appearance in the illusion and silently swallowed those words.
“…”
Jiang Xuesheng had already assumed a stance to draw his zither and kill, but after hearing Shu Fu’s words, he silently lowered his hand as well.
“Besides, dual cultivation isn’t my only path to forming my core. There are plenty of other things I’d like to ask Senior about.”
Shi Xiaolou was completely unruffled. He had put “dual cultivation is amazing—it’s pleasurable and helps you advance” right out in the open, so Shu Fu had no qualms about discussing it with him as an academic matter.
“For example, you’re highly skilled in artifact refinement. If you have any magical treasures that might suit me, would it be possible for me to—”
“Oh, of course! I’ll take you to choose one!”
Shi Xiaolou slapped his thigh and was just about to get up when Jiang Xuesheng gave him a cold, icy stare. He immediately sat back down.
“…Your master will give you one. I’ll stay out of it.”
“No, that’s all right.”
Jiang Xuesheng withdrew his murderous glare, the corners of his mouth curling into a faintly teasing smile.
“Fu’er, go with him and pick something out. There’s no use in having him. As for his things, however, the more you take, the better.”
Shi Xiaolou: “…”
—So this was what it felt like to be treated as nothing more than a tool bird.
…
Shi Xiaolou kept his word. He took Shu Fu to the storeroom containing his magical artifacts.
Calling it a storeroom was actually a bit of a stretch. It was a mustard-seed space he carried with him, filled with more magical treasures than she could count. It was essentially the equivalent of carrying a hundred million in one’s pocket at all times.
Shu Fu could only sigh. “It’s good to be rich.”
“I’m just like my grandfather—I can’t stand hardship. I’ve hated cultivating since I was little, and I don’t like fighting or killing, either. These little toys are the only things I enjoy making.”
Shi Xiaolou handed her one magical artifact after another, offering them generously. “If you like anything, feel free to take it. I have plenty more where those came from.”
Shu Fu weighed one of the “little toys” in her hand. It was easily worth a year’s expenses for an ordinary disciple of the Jiuhua Sect. She couldn’t help sighing inwardly at how one misfortune might turn out to be a blessing in disguise.
The gods—or rather, Nuwa—had given Shi Xiaolou a host of bad habits: a lack of ambition and a life of unrestrained debauchery. But she had also given him a pair of hands that could turn stone into gold.
Then Shu Fu thought of the other divine beasts. Zhong Bukui was honorable and chivalrous, pursuing justice and vengeance with abandon, yet he had been unable to save Flower Children’s soul. Liu Ruyi and Jiang Xuesheng shouldered the immense responsibility of saving the world, rushing about day and night without a single truly peaceful moment. The Ling family was an even bigger mess, a complete disgrace to their ancestors. Among the flood dragons, the Wushan Cloud Flood Dragon couldn’t even get a girl to accompany him to Wushan, while the East Sea Moon Flood Dragon had to search tirelessly for a way to purify demonic energy and build a women’s federation for Xuanyu Palace at the same time…
—Come to think of it, the azure luan really did have the happiest life.
Carefree and thoughtless, with no worries to weigh him down.
Life was short. It was rare to live at ease.
Shu Fu ultimately couldn’t bring herself to pluck Jiang Xuesheng’s bird completely bald. In the end, she selected several pieces of jewelry from Shi Xiaolou’s collection, along with a jade flute that was emerald green from end to end. It would serve as an aid for the Po’yue zither, which had endured far too much over the years.
Shi Xiaolou praised her choice. “This jade flute is called ‘Freedom.’ It’s one of my finest works in recent years. You have excellent taste. By the way, why did you choose it? Are you particularly skilled in this field?”
Shu Fu: “No. I only know how to play the recorder, so I figured the xiao probably worked more or less the same way. Besides, you only need your mouth to play it. Even if your hands are broken, you can still use it. Very convenient.”
Shi Xiaolou: “…”
