Listen, Brother, Tell Me About the Past
“Go to where Perfected He Meng is staying at Tianyan Sect and catch a blue chicken.”
At first hearing, there was nothing particularly strange about Jiang Xuesheng’s words. If anything, they carried an almost familiar, irreverent intimacy, as though he and Perfected He Meng were old friends who had not seen each other in years and had arranged to meet up for a “winner winner, chicken dinner.”
But everyone present could clearly hear the murderous intent hidden within them.
—Who, exactly, was this “chicken” supposed to be?
…
Weicheng had connections everywhere. It belonged to no particular faction and refused to turn anyone away—except Ling Fengqing. Perfected He Meng had passed through the city many years ago and had been full of praise for the Flower Festival, when the streets swarmed with people and the entire city bloomed with flowers. From then on, he became a frequent visitor to Weicheng.
He might have been a shut-in, but to him, the Flower Festival was basically an anime convention being held right outside his door. Even the most hopeless otaku would overcome every obstacle to leave the house for that.
Unfortunately, this time he would probably regret joining the convention—and, relying on his seniority, thoughtlessly setting that ridiculous challenge.
When Jiang Xuesheng proposed meeting Perfected He Meng, Wei Tianjiao assumed it was merely a discussion between great cultivators and had no suspicions. She immediately and cheerfully pointed them in the right direction.
Shu Fu watched this unfold, worried sick for Perfected He Meng, whom she had never even met, and silently wrote him a single word:
“Danger.”
As they made their way to catch the chicken, perhaps because the Azure Luan was so close at hand, Jiang Xuesheng behaved unusually. He took the initiative to tell Shu Fu about the story of the Five Ancient Phoenixes.
Here is the basic outline:
In ancient times, humans and demons coexisted, while the Daoist and demonic factions stood opposed to each other.
The divine beasts—in other words, the dragon and phoenix clans—were revered as the leaders of all demons. At the same time, they were also objects of worship among human cultivators.
The orthodox cultivators viewed them as mighty beings, auspicious beasts, or signs of good fortune. At worst, they were opportunities that one might encounter only once in a lifetime. To demonic cultivators, however, the flesh and blood of dragons and phoenixes were precious medicinal ingredients, while their cores were priceless treasures.
Thus, conflict between the two sides never ceased.
“That is also why Ling Xiyue ended up on a demonic cultivator’s black market and had her bloodline stripped away through demonic techniques,” Jiang Xuesheng said. “Fortunately, he was only half-blooded. He could still survive without the blood of the yuanchu. Otherwise, they probably wouldn’t have left behind even a single feather.”
Dragons and phoenixes were immensely powerful, but they had great difficulty producing offspring. Their numbers were few, and every death meant one less member of the race. In a battle on the scale of the entire world, they simply did not have enough numbers to gain the upper hand.
As a result, they tended to dote excessively on their children and took the upbringing of their younger generation extremely seriously.
It was just that the direction of this “seriousness” was a little strange.
After Lord Yinglong was born, his parents—the Dragon Empress and the Phoenix Clan Patriarch—argued endlessly over his name. They spent three whole years playing rock-paper-scissors over a single character. Sometimes, after finally settling on one, they would call him by it for two days, decide it was unsuitable after all, and begin another round of the same endless cycle.
In the end, one day, the two of them suddenly had a revelation. They attained enlightenment, forgot themselves and the material world, and ascended hand in hand in broad daylight.
“…”
The little white dragon, nameless and without a family name, gazed up at the heavens and slowly typed out a question mark.
—Are you kidding me?
Later, with the support of his clan’s elders, Lord Yinglong succeeded to the throne. He rose to the pinnacle, commanded the loyalty of all, and became a genuine young sovereign.
In theory, the position of Dragon Clan Patriarch was not necessarily passed down within a single bloodline. Abdication in favor of a worthy successor was also possible.
But.
There was always a “but.”
Lord Yinglong’s identity was extraordinary. He was a dragon-phoenix hybrid rarely seen in thousands of years. As a white dragon with a pair of wings growing from his back, he looked exactly like the First Dragon God.
He was just too auspicious!
With a face that lucky, who else could possibly take the throne?
Lord Yinglong slowly typed out an even larger question mark.
—Are you people fucking kidding me???
According to the diary left behind by “Big Brother Bukui” in the underground palace, Lord Yinglong had a bad temper. He kept his emotions hidden in public, but in private, he was a master of verbal abuse.
The original source of all this trouble probably began right here.
(Shu Fu always felt that Jiang Xuesheng sounded as though he were trying to defend himself whenever he discussed the past, but she did not call him out on it.)
(Then again, she only knew that protagonists in anime and other fictional works often looked exactly like their ancestors or the first-generation ancestor. She had not expected the cultivation world to work the same way.)
Now that Lord Yinglong had been covered, let us move on to the four heavenly kings who assisted the dragon clan—the Five Phoenixes.
To repeat: there are five of the four heavenly kings. If you don’t like it, don’t play.
First of all—
Among the Five Phoenixes, the Feng, Yuezhuo, and Honghu clans had [censored], while the yuanchu and Azure Luan clans did not have [censored].
According to biological knowledge, most male birds do not have [censored]. This does not affect their ability to reproduce; they simply do not have sex in the conventional sense. The Azure Luan and yuanchu were the same. As for exactly how they reproduced, please make good use of a search engine.
The bird clans had originally paid little attention to the matter. After taking human form and being influenced by human customs, however, they gradually developed the habit of comparing themselves with one another—even among the males. Even Liu Ruyi was not exempt.
(Shu Fu: Why are you telling me this?! And how do you even know?!)
The Five Phoenixes were close to humanity, and their customs were heavily influenced by human culture. Over time, they gradually adopted human-style family names.
The Feng clan was red, and their surname was “Feng.”
The yuanchu were yellow, and their surname was “Ling.”
The Honghu were white, and their surname was “Liu.”
The Azure Luan were blue, and their surname was “Shi.”
The Yuezhuo were purple, and their surname was “Zhong.”
In terms of temperament and behavior, the Feng were solemn and dignified, as befitted the leaders of the divine birds. The yuanchu were proud of their status and had more than enough arrogance to spare. The Honghu loved the sights and sounds of human life and were carefree and unconventional. The Azure Luan were innocent romantics who entrusted their hearts to mountains and rivers. The Yuezhuo were born with an imposing sense of justice and hated evil with a passion.
The Yuezhuo Clan Patriarch at the time was Lord Yinglong’s first teacher.
As an aside, he had a simple-minded, mischievous younger son. He was the Young Lord Bukui, whose name was Zhong Bukui.
The Yuezhuo Clan Patriarch had originally placed great hopes in him, wishing that he would be “without shame before his own heart and without shame before others.”
Unfortunately, the only thing he learned was a catchphrase:
“Just as expected of me!”
(“Big Brother Bukui!” Shu Fu cried out. “Wait, his name really is Bukui?!”)
In other words, half of the times Lord Yinglong harshly berated Zhong Bukui, he was doing so as his senior fellow disciple on behalf of Bukui’s father.
In addition, the younger generations of the Feng, Azure Luan, and Honghu clans had all once studied under the esteemed Yuezhuo Clan Patriarch.
The Young Lord Honghu was Lord Yinglong’s closest companion, and he willingly let Yinglong stroke and pluck his feathers. The Phoenix Young Lord was serious and self-disciplined. He could not stand Lord Yinglong’s behavior, and he also viewed the dragon clan as a rival, competing with them at every turn.
As for the Young Lord Qingluan, to put it nicely, he was “adorable, lovable, and entirely without a brain.” To put it less nicely, he was a complete idiot.
(Shu Fu: So it was this idiot’s descendant who stabbed everyone in the back a thousand years later.)
Later, the demonic calamity descended upon the world without warning. The Heavenly Demon ran rampant, living creatures suffered, and the mountains and rivers crumbled like willow fluff scattered by the wind.
Lord Yinglong and the Five Phoenix Clan Patriarchs racked their brains and worked tirelessly for decades. Using the power of the earth’s ley lines, they sealed away the demonic energy and finally slew the Heavenly Demon, restoring peace to the lands of the Five Continents.
As the price, they fell into a long, nearly permanent slumber.
Jiang Xuesheng did not say so outright, but Shu Fu could guess that the “seal” the dragons and phoenixes had used to suppress the demonic energy was probably none other than themselves.
The Phoenix Terrace has known the phoenix’s flight; the phoenix is gone, and the river flows on alone.
The Wu Palace’s flowers and grasses bury its secluded paths;
The robes and crowns of the Jin dynasty have become ancient burial mounds.
That lined up with the original plot of Weak Waters, Three Thousand.
The original story’s final villain, the Demon Lord Zhao Jiuge, was most likely either a descendant or reincarnation of the Heavenly Demon from three thousand years ago, and had devoted his entire life to breaking the seal. After the female lead, Jiang Ruoshui, was framed, misunderstood, and abandoned, she became demonic in her grief and despair. Unintentionally manipulated by Zhao Jiuge, she nearly became the pawn that allowed him to break the seal.
The domineering Demon Lord launching a war against the righteous sects for her sake and plunging the world into chaos was probably part of Zhao Jiuge’s plan as well.
As expected of the Heavenly Demon. He really was a little genius.
Wait a moment. So that means…
Lord Yinglong and the Five Phoenixes were actually victims of the tragic romance from the original story?
They say that the people who plant the trees make it possible for those who come later to enjoy the shade. But these people planted the trees, only for their successors to set the whole mountain ablaze?!
“We’re here.”
Just as Shu Fu reached this conclusion, they arrived at the residence where Perfected He Meng was staying.
Calling it a residence was a bit of a stretch. The courtyard itself was concealed within a haze of radiant light, surrounded by layer upon layer of dazzling colors. Who knew how many barriers and formations had been set up around it? At a glance, it looked like one enormous mille-feuille of defensive arrays.
“…”
Shu Fu stared blankly for a moment, then tactfully asked, “Is he… very afraid of being beaten?”
A rather thickheaded young disciple stood at the entrance. Seeing Jiang Xuesheng stride inside without saying a word, he instinctively tried to stop him.
“Senior, the Supreme Elder is taking a nap…”
Jiang Xuesheng glanced back at him.
The young disciple said, “I’m sorry for disturbing you!!!”
Following behind Jiang Xuesheng, Shu Fu silently rolled her eyes toward the heavens. She really didn’t want to imagine the expression on his face right now. He had actually frightened the poor child. Clearly, that spiked club had traumatized him quite badly.
At that moment, Jiang Xuesheng suddenly sensed something strange and stopped in his tracks.
“Fu’er?”
Then, something completely unexpected happened.
Shu Fu felt the ground vanish beneath her feet. The light and shadows before her spun and shifted at lightning speed, and the entire scene melted into a riotous blur of colors, like an image inside a kaleidoscope.
She closed her eyes, then opened them again. In the blink of an eye, the world around her had changed completely.
Shu Fu found herself standing beside a lake. Sunlight glittered across the rippling water, while the grass beneath her feet was as soft as a thousand-gold carpet, dotted with fragrant flowers she didn’t recognize. The chirping of birds drifted through the air.
Not far away, two young disciples were squatting at the lakeside, splashing around in the water. They were both a little over ten years old, dressed like child acolytes, their faces bright with innocent, carefree charm.
Shu Fu politely walked over and asked, “Excuse me, is the Supreme Elder of the Tianyan Sect, Perfected He Meng, here?”
“Huh? Sister, how did you get in?”
The two young disciples looked up together, their eyes wide as they examined her with curiosity.
“This is the first time we’ve ever seen anyone pass through the maze of formations and be transported directly to the Supreme Elder’s side.”
One of them suddenly had an idea and guessed, “Wait, have you met the Supreme Elder before? Do you have one of his tokens?”
Shu Fu: “???”
Even if there was such a token, it would be Jiang Xuesheng who had it. How could it possibly be hers?
Come to think of it, where was Jiang Xuesheng?
Seeing her look of confusion, the two young disciples decided not to press her further. Instead, they raised their hands and pointed out the way.
“The Supreme Elder is over there. He went to sleep more than an hour ago, so he should be waking up soon.”
Taking a nap in broad daylight? He certainly led a leisurely life, Shu Fu thought.
She thanked them and turned to leave. The two disciples watched her back for a while, then suddenly came to their senses.
“Oh no, we forgot!”
“We can’t let her see the Supreme Elder right now!”
“Sister! Sister, wait!”
Before they could recover from their surprise, Shu Fu was already striding swiftly along the path indicated, brushing past flowers and willows. Before long, she spotted a figure beneath a wisteria trellis in full bloom.
The person was sprawled across a soft chair woven from vines. From a distance, his posture looked languid and relaxed. He wore flowing robes of a dreamy blue-violet hue, his head tilted slightly to one side, while his thick black hair spilled to the ground like a waterfall.
Shu Fu didn’t show the slightest hint of nervousness. She quickly approached, stopped beside the chair, lowered her hands, and bowed politely.
“Senior…”
Suddenly, a cool breeze brushed past her ear.
The breeze shook the trellis, sending a shower of blossoms drifting down. Purple wisteria petals filled Shu Fu’s vision, creating a scene reminiscent of petals dancing across a swing.
“Senior…”
Once the floral shower had settled, Shu Fu was just about to speak again when her pupils suddenly contracted. She nearly bit her own tongue.
“Senior?!”
Perfected He Meng was highly senior in both rank and age. Thanks to his profound cultivation, he had achieved considerable mastery over retaining his youthful appearance, and looked even younger than Jiang Xuesheng. With black hair and snow-white skin, his striking beauty could only be described as “a spring dawn flower.”
At that moment, he was deep in a sweet dream. His breathing was steady and unhurried, his thick black lashes trembling faintly. There was an irresistibly languid, sleeping-beauty-like charm about him.
But that wasn’t the important part.
The important part was—
At the same time, the two young disciples came running after her, gasping for breath as they shouted:
“Sister, sister! Don’t go any closer! You can’t go over there!”
“Our Supreme Elder, he… he…”
“—He doesn’t like wearing clothes when he sleeps!!!!!!”
Shu Fu: “…”
So much for “wearing blue-violet robes.” He wasn’t wearing clothes at all. He was sleeping naked beneath the wisteria, with nothing but fallen blossoms draped over him!
When that gust of wind swept through, the petals scattered in every direction. The moment Shu Fu looked up, she saw a shoulder white enough to sting the eyes, along with a collarbone, a chest…
Shu Fu: Damn it, my eyes!
I’ll pay good money for a pair that hasn’t seen this!
She refused to look any farther. Expressionless, she took an outer robe from her storage pouch and flung it over the (naked) sleeping beauty’s head.
Shu Fu turned her back. She vaguely felt that something about the scene was off, but before she could think it through, the young disciples continued shouting:
“Sister, stay farther away from the Supreme Elder! Don’t stand directly in front of him!”
“He’s old, and every time he wakes up, he forgets whether he’s a human or a bird. He won’t know to cover himself around you!”
Shu Fu: “Huh???”
Before she could react, a freezing hand landed on her shoulder and pulled her backward.
…It didn’t move her an inch.
Shu Fu heard someone let out a soft “huh?” beside her ear. His voice held three parts confusion and seven parts delighted curiosity.
“What a strange little girl.”
“Dragon, phoenix, honghu, yuezhuo… The auras of so many old friends are present in one person. Especially the dragon aura—I thought dragons had long since vanished.”
“Forget it. It has nothing to do with me.”
The man gave a lazy laugh, then rose elegantly from the soft chair and placed his bare feet on the lush green grass.
As soon as he stood, the outer robe Shu Fu had draped over him slipped from his shoulders. He paid it no attention, merely continuing in a self-absorbed manner:
“Little girl, what business do you have with this old bird? Since you bear the aura of both dragon and phoenix, you must be someone with a special destiny. I won’t hide anything from you.”
Shu Fu said, “No, I…”
—I do have business with you, this bird, but I have no business with your bird!!!
—For heaven’s sake, if your clothes slip any farther, you’re going to be flashing your bird! Stay away from me!!!
Wait. Come to think of it, did a Qingluan even have a bird?!
“What is it, little girl?”
Perfected He Meng was utterly unaware that anything was amiss. He even leaned slightly closer, carefully studying Shu Fu’s face. “Now that I take a closer look, you’re quite beautiful, little girl. Exactly my type. What do you say? You already have so much dragon-and-phoenix energy gathered within you. Why not add me to the mix as well…”
That was as far as he got.
Because in the very next moment, a series of crisp cracking sounds, like shattering glass, rang out from behind him.
Then Shu Fu clearly saw the scenery behind Perfected He Meng shatter into pieces like flowers reflected in a mirror or the moon mirrored in water, revealing a bottomless black void.
From that eerie black hole, a hand suddenly reached out and gently clasped Perfected He Meng’s fair, slender neck.
“Found you.”
Jiang Xuesheng’s familiar, clear voice came from within, mingled with a long, winding sigh.
“Still, I truly never imagined it. Not only the yuanchu, but even the azure luan would sink to such depths… It seems we’ll have to stew them both in the same pot.”
