Woman, you've caught my attention
"Are you alright? I picked this on the way, just take it and play around with it."
"......"
Ji Xiaobei slumped on the ground, her mouth slightly agape, completely lost for words, staring blankly at the female cultivator standing before her.
After a long while, she finally remembered to reach out and take that peach blossom, but her tongue felt as if it had gone rusty. After a long moment, she managed to stammer out a "thank you", but her enunciation was so muddled that she nearly blurted out a silly mispronunciation. She hurriedly corrected herself in a flustered panic:
"Tha— thank you so much for saving me, Immortal! Your great kindness is more than I can ever repay!"
She had met many female elders over the years, but this was the first time she had ever laid eyes on a woman so breathtakingly, stunningly beautiful.
Just moments ago, Ji Xiaobei had been mired in utter despair, as if she were struggling for breath in a cold, pitch-black deep sea.
The next instant, a blazing, burning sun had fallen straight from the sky into that sea, turning the water into a swirl of white mist that wrapped around her and made her feel warm all the way to her bones.
If the phrase "righteousness descending from the heavens" had any real meaning, this must be exactly what it felt like.
Ji Xiaobei was so overwhelmed with gratitude that she took several deep breaths in a row, rolling every single word carefully over her tongue to make sure she said it right, before she spoke tentatively:
"Immortal, may I ask who you are..."
"Hm?"
The female cultivator had just finished unblocking the sealed meridians of another woman nearby. She turned her head at the sound, curled her lips into a soft smile, and said, "Me? You can call me Shu Fu. You were abducted to the Demon Realm, and I'm getting all of you out of here right now."
"Ah!"
Ji Xiaobei let out a cry before she could stop herself. "Shu Fu! You're Shu Fu? My older brother told me about you, you're his friend..."
The second she mentioned her brother Ji Shaoguang, she suddenly remembered exactly how she had ended up in this mess. She was flooded with shame, and hung her head as she mumbled:
"I was wrong. I shouldn't have stormed off after arguing with my brother. Shu Fu... Sister, go ahead and scold me."
Shu Fu was amused by her. "I'm not your mother, why would I scold you? Every year, seven or eight hundred idiots come running to this godforsaken Demon Realm just to court death. I don't have enough breath in me to scold every last one of them."
"Speaking of which, I've got quite a few friends. Which one is your older brother..."
......
"You fool!"
Half a quarter of an hour later, Ji Xiaobei's cheeks were being squished and kneaded by a thick, bear-like paw, as she was on the receiving end of Shu Fu's fierce, relentless dressing-down.
"Are you daft? That nonsense about 'the Demon Realm having rare, precious spiritual materials'? That's a rumor He Xiuwen made up, just to trick idiots into rushing headlong into danger and walking straight into a trap! I bet you asked Shaoguang about this before, and he told you exactly the same thing, didn't he?"
Ji Xiaobei stammered, "Y-yes... that's right..."
"And then you didn't believe him. You thought he was just scared you'd end up better than him, didn't you?"
"Y-yes..."
"Idiot!"
Shu Fu smacked her lightly on the forehead out of exasperation, the jolt making Ji Xiaobei's ears ring. "Ji Shaoguang is the man you grew up side by side with, how could you not know his character any better than a stranger like me?"
"You didn't really not trust him. You just wanted to find some flaw in him, so you could feel a little better about yourself, and wouldn't have to drown in your own inferiority complex."
Her words were sharp and to the point, hitting the nail right on the head, not leaving a single shred of dignity for the young girl.
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry..."
Ji Xiaobei had barely ever been scolded a day in her life. She was so ashamed and so scared that her voice was thick with unshed tears. "I shouldn't have thrown a tantrum, I shouldn't have been so obsessed with outdoing my older brother..."
"There's nothing wrong with being competitive, driven, or eager to prove your worth."
Shu Fu softened her tone and pressed her palm firmly on the top of her head. "There's just one thing you need to remember. No matter how badly you want to win, there are two things you must never do, or you will definitely regret it."
"First, do not harm others. Second, do not harm yourself."
"..."
Ji Xiaobei only half understood what she heard, but somehow felt a heavy weight in Shu Fu's words, and nodded in a daze.
Of course, Shu Fu herself wasn't overthinking it that much.
She just thought that in a tragic novel world, if you hurt others out of paranoia, you'd likely end up as the vicious supporting female character; if you hurt yourself, you'd become the tragic novel's heroine.
...Though, this world doesn't really feel much like a tragic novel right now.
...
This time when Shu Fu came out of seclusion, nearly twenty years had passed since her very first retreat.
Of course, her "seclusion" wasn't done all at once. It was intermittent, coming in and out in several separate phases.
At first, she sorted out her inner spiritual energy on her own, studied cultivation methods and sword manuals, and fully integrated her newly obtained weapon with the dragon and phoenix spiritual energy.
Then she went into seclusion alongside Ming Xiao, devoting herself entirely to watching her wield her sword, listening to her talk about swordsmanship, feeling her pervasive sword intent, and trying to weave that intent into her own sword techniques.
When Shu Fu gained some insight, Ming Xiao began to guide her hand in hand. After several more years, she finally could wield her sword intent freely, so that even without a sword in her hand, the spirit of the sword was everywhere around her.
In the final phase, she returned to Yaoguang Peak, where she saw Jiang Xuesheng looking exactly the same as the day they first met, and Xie Fangnian, whose complexion was looking excellent.
"This new body I just switched to can't handle too much roughhousing yet."
In response to her concern, Xie Fangnian — the white cat phoenix blossom spirit — did not give a clear reply. He answered as coldly and indifferently as always, "But it's more than enough to guide you. I went through a lot of trouble just to get your master to agree to this."
Jiang Xuesheng — the ragdoll cat epiphyllum spirit — corrected him, "Yuandu, don't talk nonsense. When did I ever stop you? I only want what's best for Fu'er. As long as it helps her cultivation, I would never fuss over such trivial matters."
Xie Fangnian huffed in irritation, "You're talking — you're the one spouting nonsense. You clearly told me before that I should carve all my swordsmanship insights into a memory jade slip, so you could go over them with Shu Fu yourself..."
Jiang Xuesheng: (Too lazy to deal with him and starts playing the guzheng instead)
Xie Fangnian: (Furious and hurls a panda at him)
"............"
This familiar, warm scene made Shu Fu sigh and exclaim, "Standing right in front of you, how much do I look like the old days?"
Then she grabbed two heavy swords and charged straight at the two thousand-year-old boys who were exactly the same as she remembered, yelling, "Talk properly, put the panda down!!!"
When it came to swordsmanship attainment, Xie Fangnian and Ming Xiao each had their own strengths, representing the respective pinnacles of their eras three thousand years apart.
Comparatively speaking, Ming Xiao's guidance for Shu Fu leaned more toward the "technique" of swordsmanship, while Xie Fangnian's guidance came closer to the "path" of swordsmanship.
This was not because Xie Fangnian had a higher realm of cultivation, but because Ming Xiao's sword was a "sword detached from the mortal world", while Xie Fangnian had transformed his old "sword detached from the mortal world" into the "sword rooted in the mortal world" he wielded now.
Everyone agreed that the latter was a far better match for Shu Fu's own sword path.
The reason for that went without saying.
And so, Shu Fu traveled back and forth between her three "classes", and after nearly twenty years of hard work, she finally graduated with full marks.
From this day on, there was no one left who could walk the path ahead of her and guide her along the way.
The day she left her seclusion, Jiang Xuesheng and Liu Ruyi were off investigating the Demon Realm together. Word had it that they had just tracked down a hidden black market den, and the timing was too critical for them to head home to throw her a welcome celebration.
Shu Fu was never one to make a fuss. She quickly packed her bags, badgered Wu Yao into coming with her, and swaggered straight to the Demon Realm on her own.
She never expected that the second she stepped through the Demon Realm's gates, she would end up rescuing the younger sister of Ji Shaoguang, the gentle male second lead from the original novel.
Even though Shu Fu gave the girl a good dressing-down, she was still warm and friendly to this relative of an acquaintance. "Shaoguang calls me 'Big Brother'," she said. "Since you're his sister, you might as well call me 'Big Brother' too."
"Oh, and by the way, he's been chasing my senior sister for twenty years. I heard things have finally started looking up for them lately, so he'll probably be my senior brother-in-law soon..."
Ji Xiaobei: "..."
Good grief, what on earth is this total mess of a family dynamic?
Very quickly, she realized that "good grief" had been far too premature a reaction.
After Shu Fu led all of them out of the demon cultivator stronghold, Ji Xiaobei was shocked to spot a green flooddragon as tall as a small mountain waiting right outside the entrance.
Circling neatly around the flooddragon was a whole ring of pandas.
A whole ring of pandas.
It was so important it bore repeating.
"Anyone who isn't injured and has a decent level of cultivation, climb onto this old... cloud flooddragon here. We'll take the air route out of the Demon Realm. Anyone who's not feeling well can pick a iron-eating beast to ride on," Shu Fu directed with perfect composure, as if the pandas in front of her were nothing more than ordinary horses at a waystation.
"............"
The girls who had just escaped certain death exchanged bewildered glances, and several of them rubbed their eyes, wondering if they were still dreaming.
After all, what young girl ever daydreams that when she's trapped in peril, her hero will show up to rescue her riding a panda?
Regardless of anything else, the "hero" — or rather, "bear-o" — had arrived.
And there were plenty of them.
This spot was right on the Demon Realm's border, so it didn't take Shu Fu long to escort all the rescued women back to safety.
Even so, Wu Yao still complained. "You're just like Jiang Tan, always sticking your nose into other people's business. Those women weren't careful in the first place. What do their troubles have to do with us?"
Shu Fu didn't even turn her head as she jabbed back at him. "That's exactly why you can't get a girlfriend, Demon King Wu."
Wu Yao huffed angrily. "Who says I don't have one? Let me tell you, right now I —"
Shu Fu suddenly jolted, spinning around sharply. "Wait, what did you just say? No, hold on..."
Her cultivation was far stronger than it had ever been now. Even though she still couldn't see through the full extent of Demon King Wu's power, she could at least tell that he had recovered far more than he had in years past.
She had assumed all this time that it was simply because his old wounds had healed gradually...
"...Don't tell me you actually found a new girlfriend, and you've been recovering your power through dual cultivation?"
"............"
Wu Yao held his flooddragon head high, staring blankly off into the sky.
Shu Fu: " ... Old Qing, don't you think it's a little late to start playing dumb now?"
Unfortunately, no matter how much she grilled him or tried to pry hints out of him, Wu Yao kept his lips sealed, refusing to say another word on the topic.
It was at that moment that Shu Fu truly realized just how earth-shattering all the changes in the outside world had been during the years she'd spent deep in cultivation seclusion.
Even the Demon King had (allegedly) found a partner!
Even the Demon King!!!
What kind of amazing person could he possibly be dating? She was so dying to know???
"Alright then, didn't you say you were looking for Jiang Tan? Hurry up and get moving, stop wasting time prying into all that useless stuff."
Wu Yao's expression went rigid, so utterly mortified that he could only urge her impatiently, "By the way, don't forget the item Qingluan gave you."
The "item" he was referring to was a new type of artifact made for "faking demonic qi." As long as one carried it on their person, a layer of false demonic qi would wrap around their entire body, letting them pass perfectly as demonic cultivators and slip undetected through the Demon Realm.
Invisibility talismans were undeniably useful, but they were a poor fit for crowded, bustling spaces—there was always the risk of bumping straight into someone and blowing their cover.
What's more, there were times when critical information could only be pried loose by chatting people up under a forged identity.
And that was exactly the kind of place they were heading to next.
It was one of those staple settings in xianxia novels, a key node in the black market trade—an auction house.
"...But come to think of it."
Shu Fu turned the "artifact" over in her hands, her expression so complicated it looked like a classic Kim President meme face. "How on earth did Senior Shi come up with this design?"
The artifact in question was, unmistakably—
a pair of sunglasses.
That's right.
Two large black lenses, big enough to cover nearly half of a person's face.
Anyone who put on these sunglasses, stuck a cigarette in their mouth, and slung a thick gold chain around their neck would instantly have the exact vibe of a 1980s street gang boss.
"What's wrong with it?"
Wu Yao had never seen a street gang boss before, so he saw nothing odd about it. "Don't underestimate those two thin slices, kid. I heard from Jiang Tan that they're ground from a special type of ore, and Shi Xiaolou personally crafts them—each pair takes months to refine. When you wear them, they don't just fake your demonic qi, they also block illusions."
Most illusions in the cultivation world only work if the target can see them. Protecting the eyes properly did make perfect sense.
Shu Fu: "So why did it have to look like this..."
"Isn't it obvious? Jiang Tan asked for it."
Wu Yao said the next line completely deadpan. "Look at you when you put them on—you look just like a iron-eating panda. Jiang Tan said you love iron-eating pandas so much, you'd definitely adore this style. If you did your hair up in double spiral buns, you'd look even more like one."
Shu Fu: "..."
As much as she appreciated how thoughtful he was, if she looked in a mirror right now, she'd look exactly like a silly panda meme, for heaven's sake!!!
Since there was no other choice, Shu Fu finally slipped on the oversized sunglasses, cast a minor disguise spell on herself, and pulled her hood down to cover the rest of her face.
I'm so sorry, this is just too embarrassing.
Two silly panda lookalikes, plus a whole litter of actual pandas, set off toward their destination.
...
Meanwhile, back at the auction house—
Jiang Xuesheng and Liu Ruyi were wearing the exact same style of sunglasses, blending into the throng of demonic cultivators as they waited for the auction to begin.
With their cultivation levels, they technically didn't need to rely on external artifacts at all. But Shi Xiaolou's weird tech was so convenient, and it didn't take any spiritual energy to use, so it would have been a waste not to take advantage of it.
The whole venue was packed with demonic cultivators of every possible weird shape and style, from cyberpunk aesthetics and sharp, flashy streetwear looks to emo-style subculture outfits—colorful, wild, and utterly bizarre. The two cool guys in sunglasses didn't stand out at all.
But when it came to keeping a calm, neutral face, Liu Ruyi still couldn't quite match Jiang Xuesheng. Wrinkling his delicate nose at the thick, murky smog of unpleasant smells wafting toward him, he murmured, "Sir, this place really is stifling."
Jiang Xuesheng looked perfectly unperturbed. "Get used to it. We're going to tear this place down sooner or later anyway."
Liu Ruyi said, "There are so many people here. When Junior Sister comes in later, do you think she will have trouble finding us?"
Jiang Xuesheng replied, "No, she won't. We look so much like iron-eating pandas, we stand out so much that she will definitely spot us at first glance."
"..."
Liu Ruyi had no words to retort, and could only sigh quietly, "Sir, to be honest, I'm the only one who looks like an iron-eating panda. Did you force me to wear my hair in double spiral buns just for that reason?"
Jiang Xuesheng said, "Of course. What else would I do it for?"
Liu Ruyi: "............"
Well, thank you so very much.
What the two of them did not know, however, was that before Shu Fu arrived, someone else had already noticed their presence.
That person had also hidden his face and cultivation level, snuck into the black market in secret, and was completely concealed beneath a plain, unremarkable black cloak.
He was immediately drawn to Liu Ruyi's one-of-a-kind appearance. As his gaze wandered over her, there was a mix of three parts charm, three parts amusement, and four parts nonchalance (at least that was his own self-assessment, though no outsider could actually tell), a ratio that added up perfectly to a pie chart.
He paused for a moment in thought, then turned to the attendant beside him and said, "Keep an eye on that woman with... with... with the two bun hairstyles."
"This is the first time I've ever seen someone love iron-eating pandas so much that they would dress themselves up to look just like one."
"...Heh. What an interesting woman."
