Seeing Imperial Physician Shan’s expression, Tu Shanjin’s heart sank. His lips trembled.
“Imperial Physician Shan… is there still hope for me?”
Yun Yaoyao tightened her grip on Tu Shanjin’s hand, the tension and grief on her face no less intense than his own.
“Imperial Physician Shan, just tell us the truth. I can handle it!”
Imperial Physician Shan did exactly that. “Your Majesty, the Empress has started her monthly period. Before it began, she must have engaged in strenuous activity. On top of that, Her Highness has always had a cold, stagnant-blood constitution that makes her prone to pain, and her three days in the water dungeon have left lasting damage as well.”
“With all these factors combined, her period was bound to be especially agonizing this time.”
As soon as those words fell, a deathly silence filled the room.
The physicians who had been testing every bowl of porridge for poison silently withdrew their silver needles.
The physician who had been preparing a life-saving pill let out a quiet sigh and closed the wooden case.
And Yun Yaoyao, who had been just about to squeeze out two tears, froze.
For fuck’s sake! She had already been planning Tu Shanjin’s last words for him, and now they were telling her it was merely his period?!
Remembering her own absurdly tragic and panicked behavior just moments ago, she felt so mortified that her scalp prickled. She wanted nothing more than to kill Tu Shanjin!
She lowered her head, pressed her lips to his ear, and hissed through clenched teeth, “Tu Shanjin, don’t tell me you didn’t know women get their periods!”
Tu Shanjin: “…”
How humiliating. How embarrassing. He wanted nothing more than to find a crack in the ground and crawl into it.
His reply came out weakly. “I knew.”
Yun Yaoyao nearly lost her mind. “Then when you were describing your symptoms, why didn’t you mention that you were bleeding down there?! How did you not figure out it was your period?”
“I am a man. How could I have any experience with menstruation? Theory and practice are not the same.”
“Besides, I had no idea women suffered this much pain during their periods…”
The more he tried to explain himself, the quieter his voice became.
At the same time, Tu Shanjin gained a profound understanding of how difficult it was to be a woman. Not only were women constantly taught that men were the center of their world and that they had to rely on and please them, but their daily lives and ability to travel were restricted at every turn.
On top of all that, they had to endure several days of excruciating menstrual pain every month.
Tu Shanjin also began to worry. If blood kept flowing from there, wouldn’t it endanger their life?
“Gah!”
Just then, another wave of even more violent cramps tore through his abdomen. Tu Shanjin clutched his stomach, his face twisting in agony.
Hearing his excuse, Yun Yaoyao fell silent for a moment. Then she suddenly realized she had overlooked something.
Right. Since she and Tu Shanjin had switched bodies, wasn’t he the one who would have to get her period every month now?
In her previous life, on the first day of every period, the pain had been so bad that she had wanted to rip out her uterus. She had wailed in despair that in her next life, she absolutely wanted to be born a man.
Now, she didn’t have to deal with menstruation, nor would she have to endure the pain of pregnancy and childbirth in the future. She could spend more time building her career—and if she wanted to, she could even have three wives and four concubines, or a whole house full of handsome men.
The more she thought about it, the more she realized how damn wonderful it was to be a man!
Heaven above, please let her remain in Tu Shanjin’s body forever!
Seeing that His Majesty and the Empress had drawn close again, looking as affectionate as if they had been dipped in honey, Imperial Physician Shan suddenly understood.
No wonder the Empress wasn’t experiencing her period for the first time, yet she had acted as though she knew nothing about it—as if she had contracted some terminal illness. So it had all been an act to win His Majesty’s sympathy and affection!
Imperial Physician Shan was a perceptive man. He immediately said, “Your Majesty, I will prescribe some medicines to regulate Her Highness’s health. If she takes them regularly for three months, they will not only improve her constitution but may greatly reduce—or even eliminate—the abdominal pain.”
“During this time, Her Highness must avoid worry and excessive thinking and get plenty of rest. She may also place a hot-water bottle over her abdomen to ease the pain.”
After finishing his instructions, Imperial Physician Shan led the other physicians out of Yunning Palace in a grand procession, leaving the two of them alone.
Looking at Tu Shanjin’s pitiful, miserable expression—like a mighty tiger with its fangs pulled out, lying on the bed on the verge of death—Yun Yaoyao found him both amusing and a little pitiful.
“At least it isn’t poison. It’s only an ordinary period.”
She stood up and rolled up her sleeves, brimming with confidence.
“Don’t worry. This is something I understand. I’ll teach you the proper procedure for dealing with a woman’s period!”
A sudden sense of foreboding flashed through Tu Shanjin’s heart.
Later, while bathing—
“Tu Shanjin, what are you so shy about? This isn’t even your body. Hurry up, wash yourself, and change into some clean clothes. Stop dawdling!”
“Then take your eyes off my chest first!”
“Hehe, sorry. They’re just so big and pretty, like two soft, fluffy steamed buns. I couldn’t help staring. Go on, keep washing.”
While teaching Tu Shanjin how to use a menstrual cloth—
“Just thread it through like this and place it in the crotch of your underclothes. Huh? What’s this strap for?”
“Yun Yaoyao, do you actually know how to use this? Tsk—more blood is coming out!”
“Menstrual cloths in ancient times aren’t anything like the damn pads we had back home. And whose idea was it for you ancient people not to wear underwear? Ah! It got on your underclothes! Quickly, use the menstrual cloth to stop the bleeding. I’ll go get you a clean pair!”
“…”
After the entire ordeal, Tu Shanjin lay weak and exhausted on the bed, while Yun Yaoyao, utterly drained, propped her head up with one hand at the table and reminded him, “Tu Shanjin, keep the hot-water bottle pressed against your stomach, and drink plenty of hot water later.”
With that, she leaned back against the dragon chair and let out a long sigh.
“Getting your period in ancient times is really inconvenient!”
