Thread Topic: [Seeking Little Luo] Does Anyone Have Little Luo’s Contact Information?
Original Poster ID: Desperate for Fake Documents
1L (OP): Has anyone gotten fake documents from Little Luo recently? Where is she? Why can’t I suddenly get in touch with her? She couldn’t have taken the money and run, could she?
2L Zombie Alliance to Overthrow Human Tyranny: Pathetic. Why should we be the ones adapting to humans? Why don’t we take them down and rule the world ourselves, then make them rack their brains figuring out how to produce fake documents for us?
3L Drunkenly Watching Fools: Little Luo is trustworthy, so don’t worry. She made my ID card and driver’s license, and I even asked her to make me a teaching certificate a few days ago… Wait, she always used to deliver in three days, but it’s been five days this time… I’ll try contacting her.
…
9L Drunkenly Watching Fools: Something’s wrong. Where is Little Luo? Why can’t I get through to her? This has never happened before!
10L (OP): Same here. Does anyone in the zombie community know her or one of her colleagues? Please help us get in touch with her.
11L Wanting to Go Back Underground: Half the zombies in our clan have gotten their fake documents from her. She shouldn’t have run off, right? Could she have been arrested by the special law enforcement authorities?
12L Drunkenly Watching Fools: She’s been making fake documents for years. How could she get arrested that easily? Even if she was arrested, it would be by the ordinary authorities. What does it have to do with the special departments? Don’t stir up panic!
13L Can’t Stand Show-Offs: Come to think of it, hasn’t the forum been unusually quiet lately? Little Luo suddenly disappearing isn’t the only thing. Wasn’t there also that scammer who used to lead people to riches? No one’s heard from him either. Ball hasn’t shown up in ages… And what about that evil entity who eats people and devours its own kind? I haven’t seen any reports of him committing crimes lately, either.
…
Qin Zhen had just finished her night shift. As she walked out of the internet café, she saw the post and felt a jolt of alarm. She hurriedly replied.
17L Glazed Princess: Don’t worry about me. I’m perfectly fine!
18L Drunkenly Watching Fools: Who asked about you?!
Qin Zhen scratched her cheek. Just because Little Luo replied to dozens of posts a day didn’t mean she was out of danger. What if someone else had her phone and was posting in her place?
There was nothing she could do. Zombies were accustomed to living alone, and everyone was, at most, an online acquaintance. When it came to personal relationships, they simply couldn’t compare with humans. Otherwise, the Zombie Alliance to Overthrow Human Tyranny wouldn’t still be stuck at the stage of calling on everyone to unite and cooperate.
In just those few minutes, several more members of their kind had left comments, all saying they had been unable to contact Little Luo.
Qin Zhen tried contacting Little Luo as well, but got no response.
She hurried back toward the little attic she rented. When she arrived, she couldn’t find Fu Qi. Just as she was about to go out and look for him, he came back on his own.
Qin Zhen was a little angry. “I told you already: you don’t have a phone or an ID card, so don’t wander around outside. Why won’t you listen? What if you run into the police and get arrested?”
Fu Qi listened quietly until she had finished, then asked with a puzzled expression, “Do the police randomly stop people on the street to check their ID cards, and arrest anyone who doesn’t have one?”
No, they didn’t.
That was just her guilty conscience talking!
She sounded so timid and afraid of trouble—nothing like the imposing senior she was supposed to be. Qin Zhen fell silent for a moment, then rephrased herself. “Our zombie clan has had quite a few things go wrong lately. A lot of zombies have run into trouble. You’d better be careful.”
Fu Qi became interested. “What happened to the clan?”
He really was a bad zombie. He was actually interested in that sort of thing.
Qin Zhen remembered what her boss had said: that she had quit because some man was supporting her. The truth was clearly the opposite—she was supporting a man at home, and that man was far from well-behaved.
She felt it was necessary to give Fu Qi some safety training. With a stern expression, she dragged him into the little attic.
The attic was so low-ceilinged that, apart from a cramped bathroom, it contained nothing but a bedroll spread out in a narrow corner. When Qin Zhen pulled Fu Qi over, his head nearly struck the sloping ceiling above.
He ducked his neck and sat down. “You work two jobs. Your monthly salary must be at least five thousand yuan, right? Couldn’t you find a better place to live?”
Fu Qi was a zombie Qin Zhen had brought home a few days earlier after taking pity on him. He had no identification, and Qin Zhen had thrown away the phone he had “stolen.” Since Qin Zhen had agreed to take care of him, she had to give him a place to stay.
But taking him in was one thing. A zombie who didn’t contribute a cent had no right to criticize her living arrangements.
“Enough nonsense!” Qin Zhen ordered sternly, telling Fu Qi to shut up.
This was her first time discussing wages in human society with one of her own kind—and with a little zombie who was inexperienced and far inferior to her at that. Naturally, she couldn’t help feeling a little urge to show off.
After scolding him, Qin Zhen couldn’t resist adding, “I make four thousand a month at the little restaurant and another twenty-two hundred at the internet café. That’s six thousand two hundred a month!”
That was far more than most zombies in their clan made. She was practically living a middle-class life.
“So much!” Fu Qi exclaimed.
Qin Zhen basked in her triumph for less than two minutes before Fu Qi asked, “Then why don’t you live somewhere better? Are you saving up to get married and have children?”
How could zombies marry and have children like humans? They couldn’t even reproduce.
Qin Zhen decided there was something wrong with Fu Qi’s brain.
Still, seeing that he was simply ignorant, Qin Zhen patiently explained, “My salary sounds high, but I only take home a little over three thousand. The rent is eighteen hundred, and after all the miscellaneous daily expenses, it’s hard to save anything.”
“This dump of an attic costs eighteen hundred a month?” Fu Qi was deeply shocked. Then, looking utterly baffled, he asked, “Wait. Didn’t you say you make sixty-two hundred a month? How do you only take home three thousand?”
After a pause, he added, “Do the internet café and the restaurant pay social security contributions for you?”
Neither of them did.
Why would a zombie have social security?
If they really paid into social security for thirty years and then started receiving a fixed pension at sixty-five—one that would keep paying out for hundreds or even thousands of years—the zombie clan would definitely be willing. The only problem was that the government might not agree.
Qin Zhen waved her hands. “There are lots of social obligations in human society. If a coworker’s family has a happy occasion, or their child has a birthday, or they invite everyone out for food or milk tea, don’t you have to spend money? And then there are deductions for taking leave or making mistakes at work.”
After going through that a few times, she was left with only three thousand yuan in take-home pay.
Fu Qi’s expression turned strange. He looked at her several times before asking, “Is it like this every month?”
“Not always,” Qin Zhen said. “Sometimes I buy so much milk tea for people that I end up taking home less than three thousand.”
Fu Qi fell silent.
His thick brows drew tightly together. Alongside his astonishment, there was a trace of pity in his eyes as he lowered them to look at Qin Zhen.
“Have you never felt that something was wrong?”
“You don’t understand. That’s just how human society works.” Qin Zhen didn’t take it seriously. “What would a little zombie who just crawled out of a tomb know? You don’t even have an ID card…”
At the mention of the ID card, Qin Zhen remembered that she had actually meant to tell Fu Qi about Little Luo’s disappearance. She quickly patted the bedroll beside her, signaling for him to sit closer.
Fu Qi looked at her again, his expression complicated, then sat down beside her.
Just as she was about to open the forum, her phone screen lit up with an incoming call. It was the owner of the little restaurant.
The moment she answered, her boss’s loud voice came roaring through the phone.
“Little Qin, what’s going on with you? You haven’t come to work for five days! That’s fifteen hundred in deductions, plus the cost of the work you missed and the thousand I advanced you a few days ago. I’m telling you, you’re only getting three hundred yuan this month!”
Qin Zhen was first flustered, then confused. “But I already quit…”
She had quit five days ago. It was Qin Zhen’s first time resigning, so the experience had left a deep impression. Her boss had even docked her pay, claiming that her sudden resignation had affected the restaurant’s business.
After working hard for twenty days, she had only received a thousand yuan in wages. Qin Zhen was one truly miserable zombie.
“Just because you quit doesn’t mean you can stop working!” Her boss’s booming voice came through the phone as he shouted, “You quit and disrupted my business, didn’t you? I didn’t even ask you to pay me extra! Hurry up and come back…”
Qin Zhen had quit because she was afraid Fu Qi, the zombie who ate people, would hurt someone at the restaurant. After spending several days together, Fu Qi had turned out to be fairly obedient, so she was beginning to wonder whether she should go back.
After all, as a zombie, finding a suitable job was no easy matter…
While she was hesitating, Fu Qi reminded her in a low voice, “Didn’t you say something serious had happened to your clan?”
That settled it. The clan’s emergency came first.
Qin Zhen said, “I’m sorry, Boss, but I’m not coming back…”
“I don’t care that you quit? You can’t just say you’re not coming after ruining my business! I’ll call the police if you don’t believe me!”
The moment she heard the words “call the police,” Qin Zhen panicked and was about to give in when her phone was suddenly snatched away.
Fu Qi said flatly, “You agreed when she resigned, and you already paid her wages. If you want to call the police, go ahead. We can have them calculate exactly how much twenty days’ pay should be out of a monthly salary of four thousand yuan.”
Qin Zhen had never spoken to a human so forcefully in her life. Fu Qi frightened her half to death. She hurriedly reached for her phone, but he blocked her with one arm.
“Who are you?” the boss demanded unhappily over the phone.
“Her boyfriend,” Fu Qi replied. He continued, “As it happens, my work has some connection with the public security authorities. I believe your conduct is highly inappropriate, and this really should be handled by the police.”
The boss’s bluster immediately weakened. Putting on a brave face, he said, “Don’t use your connections to bully people… If she wants to quit, then let her quit. I’m not desperate for one waitress…”
“I’m using my connections to bully people?” Fu Qi gave a soft laugh. “Sir, it seems you’re very good at shirking responsibility and pinning baseless accusations on others. To avoid trouble in the future, I think we’d better call the police and settle this once and for all. If it’s inconvenient for you, I can…”
Before he could finish, the call was hung up from the other end. Qin Zhen finally managed to wrench her phone back from Fu Qi’s hand.
She felt as though the sky were falling. “You argued with him and told him to call the police? Do you have any idea that we can’t let ourselves be exposed?!”
Fu Qi looked at her with a bright smile. “He wouldn’t dare.”
People like that bullied the weak and feared the strong, always trying to take advantage of others. He was clearly in the wrong, so as long as they stood firm, he would give in easily.
“Even if he called the police, it wouldn’t matter,” Fu Qi said. “It’s not a major case. The police won’t check anyone’s identity documents… And even if they do, it’s fine. Don’t you have fake documents?”
“What do you know? What if they find out? I’ll end up with a criminal record!” Qin Zhen was on the verge of losing her mind. “You’ve ruined me!”
She sincerely believed she was about to be arrested and sent to prison. Panic-stricken, she forgot all about the clan’s emergency and paced frantically around the little attic, nearly packing her bags and fleeing.
Fu Qi simply watched her from the side. The more he watched, the more amusing he found her, and the smile never left his face.
A few minutes later, her phone suddenly chimed.
Like a startled rabbit, Qin Zhen screamed and stumbled back to check it. After reading the message, she let out a puzzled “Huh?” and looked at Fu Qi in astonishment.
Fu Qi leaned over to take a look. It was a transfer from the restaurant owner for one thousand yuan. The note read: “We’re even.”
“What do I know?” Fu Qi tapped the phone screen and asked with a sideways smile.
Qin Zhen desperately suppressed the corners of her mouth, which were trying to curl upward. She mumbled, “…Well, look at how things turned out…”
After accepting the money, she opened her balance to check. Her eyes curved happily, but when she looked up and saw Fu Qi still watching her, she remembered that she had gotten the money back thanks to him and hurriedly expressed her gratitude in a generous manner.
“I’ll buy you a pair of slippers tomorrow!”
“One thousand yuan, and you’re only giving me a pair of slippers?” Fu Qi asked.
“I’ll buy you an expensive pair!” Qin Zhen said. “Fifteen yuan a pair!”
Fu Qi: “…”
Fine. She was already so poor, and the fact that she was willing to spend any money on him was commendable enough. He should learn to be content.
Getting an extra thousand yuan in wages made Qin Zhen very happy, but she still felt a little uneasy. After thinking it over, she said to Fu Qi, “You’re really good at lying. You even said your work was connected to the public security authorities… Don’t do that again. What if he’d been bold enough to actually call the police? How would you have explained yourself?”
“That part wasn’t a lie,” Fu Qi said.
“Oh,” Qin Zhen replied. “I suppose criminals do have close ties to the public security authorities.”
For some reason, that sentence hit Fu Qi’s funny bone. He looked at Qin Zhen and began laughing softly.
Qin Zhen was baffled. She poked him and said, “Stop laughing like an idiot. Come look at the forum. Something big has happened!”
While they had been dealing with those minor matters, the news of Little Luo’s disappearance had exploded across the forum. People were saying all sorts of things.
Some said she had found a suitable tomb and gone back underground, never intending to work in this business again. Others said her phone had probably been broken and that she would be reachable again in a few days. Still others claimed she had run into a bad man, been cheated out of everything she owned, and sold into some signal-less mountain village…
But the two most common—and most plausible—theories were that she had encountered the evil cultivator who had previously devoured one of his own kind and been eaten, or that she had been caught and brought to justice.
If she had been eaten, Little Luo would be the only victim. But if she had been arrested, then many more people would be in danger.
Little Luo knew the identities of the vast majority of the zombies in their clan. If she confessed under human torture and interrogation, their entire zombie clan could be wiped out.
Besides, producing fake documents was illegal, whether the person doing it was human or zombie.
Everyone on the forum was gripped by panic. Quite a few zombies were already preparing to flee.
Fu Qi browsed the posts along with Qin Zhen. Unlike Qin Zhen, who was tense and anxious, he remained calm and even had the leisure to worry about other things.
At that moment, he pointed to one of the posts and asked, “Was this zombie a doctor before he died?”
Qin Zhen glanced at it. “No.”
Fu Qi read the reply several more times before summarizing in a strange voice, “So he knew nothing about medicine, but used the fake identity card, diploma, medical license, and other documents he bought from Little Luo to get a job at a private dental clinic?”
“Probably,” Qin Zhen said. “Stop focusing on him and think about yourself! I spent the ten thousand yuan you gave me to have your fake documents made. If something really happened to Little Luo, your money would be down the drain!”
Fu Qi nodded. His eyes followed the scrolling screen for a while before he pointed to another post and asked with a frown, “Did this one really pass the civil service examination? How did he get through the background check?”
“Little Luo handled it. How could there be a problem?” Qin Zhen felt that he was completely missing the point. “Stop asking about irrelevant things! If Little Luo really has been arrested, it means we’ve all come under the watch of the special law-enforcement authorities!”
Fu Qi turned his face sideways and saw her jaw clenched tight, her expression as serious as if facing a major enemy, clearly terrified out of her wits.
He couldn't help but let out a sigh: "So you guys do know what fear is..."
If you know you're scared, how dare you do such a thing?
Later, Fu Qi asked a whole host of questions — about the founder of this forum, about that evil cultivator zombie, the online fraud scheme, and he paid special attention to the list of missing zombies.
Qin Zhen gave a couple of brief replies before ignoring him entirely, scrolling through the newly updated posts on the forum and actively joining the discussions among their fellow zombies.
An hour later, a unanimous agreement was reached on the forum. Everyone wholeheartedly hoped that Little Luo had been eaten by her own evil kindred, rather than falling into the hands of the law.
Only then did Qin Zhen tear herself away from the forum with a look of deep sorrow, and Fu Qi's voice drifted back into her awareness.
"You're talking about Little Luo? I know her," Qin Zhen said mournfully. "When she first climbed out of her tomb, she didn't have a clue about the modern world. She took the precious artifacts from her own tomb out to sell, and got caught as a grave robber and thrown into jail for a while. That was where she met a criminal ring that made fake documents..."
This was no secret, most of the zombie clan knew the story.
Luckily, Little Luo was arrested in a small county town where the local police didn't know any better. Seeing her odd skin tone and strange mental state, they assumed she'd been poisoned by something in the tomb and sent her to the hospital for treatment. Little Luo took the chance to escape.
After that, she hooked up with human fake document dealers, and gradually worked her way up to become the backbone of the entire fake ID operation. When her fellow zombies came to her to get papers, they got a 50% discount.
After hearing the whole story, Fu Qi's mouth twitched. "No wonder she managed to build such a huge industrial chain..."
Qin Zhen thought he was praising Little Luo's professional competence, so she nodded, clenched her fist, and said earnestly and passionately: "Little Luo is the best zombie I have ever met. Even if she got eaten, even if she was eliminated by the special law enforcement department, even if some zombie with even stronger professional ability takes over her business in the future, she will always be the best fake document maker in my heart!"
Fu Qi: "..."
He was a little speechless, but looking at Qin Zhen's solemn, stirring expression, he also found it funny.
Fu Qi was inclined to speak up for the special law enforcement department. His voice lowered a little as he said, "It doesn't have to mean she's been eliminated. What if she was just taken away for questioning? The law enforcement department will finish their statistics and verification, confirm your total number, your temperaments, and your impact on society, before they make any follow-up arrangements?"
"No way!" Qin Zhen rejected the idea without a second thought. "Humans are all bad, especially those in the special law enforcement department."
Fu Qi: "...You really hate them, don't you?"
Qin Zhen thought about it carefully, then said: "Not really. They're just doing their job."
"How so?" Fu Qi seemed extremely interested in Qin Zhen's views on the special law enforcement department, and insisted that she explain her reasoning clearly.
Qin Zhen was annoyed by his pestering, so she said: "They're humans, we're zombies. We're just different to begin with..."
When stances are fundamentally different, actions and ways of doing things will naturally differ too.
For example, making fake documents, in the eyes of zombies, is a last resort to survive in human society. But in the eyes of humans, it's illegal and a threat to public safety.
Another example: zombies eating people is totally normal in their eyes, but for humans, that's an unforgivable felony.
It's just like the relationship between foxes and wolves — they are competitors for the same resources, with an inherently hostile dynamic. There's no right or wrong to it.
Hearing these words, Fu Qi kept glancing sideways at her. His gaze on Qin Zhen was soft, focused, and carried a faint, lovely smile.
When Qin Zhen noticed his look and turned to meet his eyes, she accidentally saw her own reflection in his dark pupils, and almost felt like she had fallen into a clear, deep pool of water. It made this zombie feel strangely shy.
Fu Qi was just too good-looking, after all.
She darted her eyes away, then snuck a peek back at him, only to get caught red-handed by Fu Qi.
Fu Qi gave a soft chuckle, and saw Qin Zhen's expression turn even more flustered.
He leaned a little closer, and said in a gentle, soft voice: "I don't hate other races either. On the contrary, I've been observing them for a while, and I think most of them are very cute. And there's some... especially cute ones."
Qin Zhen turned her face away, looking surprised, and hesitated to speak, as if she wanted to say something but couldn't get the words out.
Fu Qi stared at her intently, waiting patiently. After about two minutes, he saw her lips move, and she managed to say with great difficulty: "You... you wouldn't have fallen for a human, and want to have a zombie-human romance, would you?"
"...No," Fu Qi denied, then paused for a moment, sighed as he looked at Qin Zhen, and added, "Well, yes, in a way. What's wrong? Isn't that allowed?"
"...You... I... ugh!" Qin Zhen's tone was heavy, she mumbled a few incoherent words, and finally let out a long, heavy sigh that made Fu Qi feel uneasy.
He reached out and gently lifted Qin Zhen's chin, tilting her face up a little, and asked: "What do you mean by that? Is it allowed or not?"
Qin Zhen frowned with a worried look, and after a long while, said helplessly: "You can do whatever you want. I just don't have high hopes for zombie-human romances..."
"You don't have high hopes?" Fu Qi furrowed his brows. Seeing Qin Zhen's earnest expression that didn't seem like a lie, his face turned a little more serious, and he asked in a deep voice: "Are you very against the idea of zombie-human romance? What if the other person is extremely good-looking?"
Qin Zhen didn't answer, only shook her head in a world-weary, old-fashioned way, looking at Fu Qi like he was a naive little kid who didn't know any better.
Fu Qi was determined to get a definite answer, and kept pressing her. Only after giving it careful thought did she speak again: "No matter how good-looking they are, it won't work. Their lifespan is way too short... You'd better just buy those 9.9 yuan slippers, save as much as you can."
The topic took such a sudden leap that Fu Qi frowned and pondered for a while before he could reply.
He looked down at Qin Zhen, his pale pink lips slightly pursed, and said: "No way. I want the 99-yuan pair."
Qin Zhen's eyes instantly went wide as saucers. She sharply rejected him: "No money. Either you get the 9.9-yuan ones, or you go earn the money to buy them yourself!"
Fu Qi fell silent for a moment, then said: "Working is too tiring, I can't take that kind of hardship. Little Qin, why don't you sponsor me? I'm this good-looking, you won't lose out on the deal."
Qin Zhen: "...In your dreams!"
Never spending money on men was her life motto. Fifteen yuan was already her absolute limit, it could never go any higher... If he was the one with money, it'd be fine for him to support her for free.
Fu Qi stopped talking, looking a little glum. After sitting quietly for a while, he stood up and walked toward the door.
"Where are you going?" Qin Zhen called after him.
"To earn money to buy slippers," he said.
Qin Zhen was surprised, and even more delighted. She felt the power of a good example was truly tremendous. Such a wicked little zombie was influenced by her to the point that he knew to go work and earn money now. Later, she could even make a post on the forum, dedicated to correcting the values of those newly unearthed little zombies... If she bought a teacher's qualification certificate, she could even become a teacher herself.
Since she had nothing to do during the day anyway, Qin Zhen decided she might as well find a part-time job too. She took the chance to ask Fu Qi: "How are you planning to earn money?"
Fu Qi had already reached the door. He said casually: "Rob a bank."
Qin Zhen went "oh" in response, but two seconds later she processed what he had just said. She spun around sharply and yelled: "Get back here right now!"
This little zombie — old habits die hard, he really was the kind that a responsible elder could never leave unsupervised for a single moment!
