“Let’s put the education issue aside for now,” Fu Qi said. “Treating you like Grandma is even more out of the question, Sweetie. Depraved romantic relationships are a no-go. You could go to prison.”
The zombie was sensitive to the words “go to prison” and shrank back, but then realized Fu Qi was only trying to scare her again.
It was the zombie apocalypse. Where would there even be any prisons?
She lay on the floor mattress and lifted her head like a sea lion. “Peonies… handsome men die beneath their skirts. Even as ghosts… or zombies, they can still live a life of romance.”
“No.” Fu Qi remained resolute. “You’ll be dead and still having fun, but what am I supposed to do? I’m an innocent, respectable man who’s been defiled. How am I supposed to face people after that?”
Qin Zhen said, “Nobody will know.”
Fu Qi shifted onto his side and propped his head up with one hand, turning toward the little zombie whose lust had clearly not diminished in the slightest. He looked as though he were considering it.
Thinking he was about to give in, the zombie hurriedly scooted closer. Instead, she heard Fu Qi say in a low whisper, “You’re a scumbag zombie who seduces people and then abandons them. I’m not some scumbag human who deceives girls.”
The zombie, whose fine physique had just been praised by a worldly woman in her sixties but remained impossible to touch, was furious at being called a scumbag. “You’re just stingy! You won’t let—let me touch you.”
“That’s called being conservative. I’m a very traditional man, all right?”
“Stealing my words? Have you no shame?”
“Did you patent them?”
“Get lost!” The zombie rolled over to the other side of the mattress, turning her back on Fu Qi. Still feeling indignant, she added, “We’re not friends anymore!”
“This is a matter of principle. Even cutting ties won’t change that,” Fu Qi said behind her. “I’m going to sleep now, Sweetie. You’d better not sneak up on me and get handsy in the middle of the night, or you’ll be a bad little puppy.”
The zombie was no puppy. Qin Zhen wrapped herself around her pillow and climbed onto the bed. She would rather squeeze in with the crazy old lady than sleep beside Fu Qi.
The next morning, the rain stopped.
Qin Zhen didn’t need to sleep and had been bored all night. Once dawn came, she had intended to make up with Fu Qi, but she accidentally ended up staring at him.
It was barely light.
The old lady looked full of energy, but in reality, she was exhausted after two days of rushing around and was sleeping deeply.
Fu Qi had woken up early. Wearing black trousers and a white short-sleeved shirt, he went out into the yard to inspect the situation.
Zombies were wandering outside, so he didn’t open the gate. Instead, he vaulted onto the wall in a single leap. His waist and back tensed with the movement, and the smooth lines of his muscles showed through the white shirt, only to disappear again when he relaxed. The fleeting sight made the zombie’s heart itch.
That alone was bearable. But then Fu Qi put on his black combat uniform.
It was specially made, waterproof and stain-resistant, and had dried to its original pristine condition after hanging overnight.
The neatly tailored uniform fit him perfectly. Once he fastened the tactical back buckles, his tall, powerful figure was displayed in full: broad shoulders, a trim waist, long legs, and an air of heroic handsomeness that made it impossible for the zombie to look away.
Yesterday, when Qin Zhen had said she wanted to touch Fu Qi’s body, she had partly been trying to give him a hard time. Now she genuinely wanted to.
She couldn’t help regretting it. Why hadn’t she noticed him before?
It was all that crazy old lady’s fault for spouting nonsense and reminding her. Now Qin Zhen had fallen into the miserable position of being able to look but not touch.
Fu Qi finished dressing and turned around. He immediately saw the zombie staring at him, her expression full of regret and hunger.
The corner of his mouth twitched. He strode over with a vigorous step and bent down toward Qin Zhen, his muscular body almost completely enveloping her.
Qin Zhen felt her face grow warm. Nervous and excited, she was too embarrassed to look at him.
Then Fu Qi affectionately tapped her on the nose.
He laughed. “You’re drooling, little pervert.”
The zombie instantly went from bashful to mortified. She lunged at him to hit him.
Fu Qi caught her and held her against his chest. “I’ve been wondering, Sweetie. When you pounce on me, are you really trying to hit me—or are you just taking the opportunity to feel me up?”
The slandered zombie hit him even harder.
Their commotion roused the old lady on the bed. As she turned over and began to sit up, Fu Qi quietly reminded Qin Zhen in her ear, “The foundation on your nose is smudged.”
The zombie hurriedly let go of him and ran to the bathroom to touch up her makeup. She was patting powder onto her face when she heard the old lady admiring him outside.
“Captain Fu looks so handsome in that outfit! Seeing him first thing in the morning has certainly brightened this old lady’s day.”
“You’re too kind,” Fu Qi said with a laugh.
The zombie was furious. What was going on? Why was he so polite with the old lady, yet called her a pervert?
Qin Zhen finished her makeup in a huff, rushed out, and pointed at Fu Qi. “You treat us differently!”
Then she pointed at the old lady. “You’re the pervert!”
Academician Jiang had reached an age where her reputation should have been beyond reproach, yet now she had been slandered as well. She said aggrievedly, “Captain Fu could be my grandson. What could I possibly want with him? How does a normal compliment make me a pervert?”
The moment she said that, Fu Qi began to laugh under his breath. Qin Zhen also remembered her conversation with Fu Qi the previous night and, burning with embarrassment, said, “Keep talking nonsense and I’ll lock you in prison!”
The old lady had been in the wrong ever since she had driven the motorcycle into a ditch while taking the “Miss Zhang” who had come to rescue her. Now she could only sigh and meekly submit.
After a quick cleanup, they prepared to hit the road.
In theory, they should have turned back and taken Academician Jiang to the Dawn Base. But Fu Qi explained that several A-country operatives had died at the Daybreak Base a few days earlier. Their communicators would transmit the news back to A-country, which would send even more people to capture him. They couldn’t take the road back. Their only option was to continue forward to the next trustworthy base, where they would leave Academician Jiang.
“Young people like you two need to protect me, so you should rest as much as possible and keep your strength up. Leave the driving to this old lady,” Academician Jiang said kindly, taking the initiative to do what little she could to help her two bodyguards.
Before Fu Qi could respond, the zombie spoke first.
“Shut up! Get lost! Say one more word and I’ll beat you to death!”
Fu Qi furrowed his brows. He knew only that Qin Zhen had suffered quite a lot during the two days she had been alone with Academician Jiang; he didn’t know the details. Seeing the old lady offer to help out of kindness while Qin Zhen treated her so rudely, he felt that she really had picked up some bad habits.
She was becoming more and more irritable and ill-mannered. He had no idea where she’d learned it.
He decided to find out where it had come from before correcting the zombie, so he said nothing reproachful and politely asked Academician Jiang to take the back seat.
An hour later, Fu Qi discovered the source.
Ever since Qin Zhen had learned to drive, she had mostly taken over that task.
She drove steadily. Her only flaw was that she was slow. She slowed down at traffic lights and went around zombies blocking the road. Fu Qi had never minded, but the old lady was another matter.
About an hour into the drive, the atmosphere had been perfectly pleasant—until Qin Zhen once again swerved to avoid a zombie. The old lady leaned forward from the back seat.
“What the hell are you avoiding it for? Do you even know how to drive?” she yelled at Qin Zhen. “Hit it! Just drive straight into it! Run the damn thing over!”
Fu Qi: “...?”
Qin Zhen was stunned for a moment, then quickly snapped back to reality and screamed, “I’m the one driving, not you! You crazy old lady, stay away from me!”
She didn’t understand. They hadn’t even let this crazy old lady touch the steering wheel, so why was she still acting like this?
Why did she seem even more reckless than when she had been riding the motorcycle?!
That once devastating experience was etched deep in Little Zombie's memory. One glance at the old lady's current look told her that things were going very badly. Her face drained of color in fright, she stared straight ahead without daring to slack off, her eyes darting repeatedly to the rearview mirror as she shouted in a panic, "Sweetie! Quick! Tie this Crazy old lady up right now!"
Fu Qi still had not realized how serious the situation was. He only thought Academician Jiang was acting a little out of the ordinary, and tried to soothe her, "Academician, don't worry, nothing bad will happen..."
"You're driving a damn car! Hit it! Hit its entire ancestral line! Can't you hear me, you idiot? If you can't drive, scram! I'll take the wheel myself!" The old lady said as she shoved her way toward the front seats, stretching her hands out to grab the steering wheel.
"Aaaaaa! Tie her up!" Little Zombie shrieked in terror nonstop, "Sweetie! Hurry! Tie her up!"
Fu Qi: "..."
By this point, how could he not understand? No wonder Little Zombie had picked up swearing just two days after being separated from him... This Academician Jiang was a real hidden gem.
Fu Qi quickly seized the old lady's arms and pushed her back into her seat.
The old lady, once pushed back, refused to give up. She sat right back up and kept shoving toward the front, just like that little zombie Qin Zhen had once taken in briefly, stubbornly fixated on getting to the driver's seat.
The only difference was that the old lady could talk, and as she pushed, she kept cursing nonstop, "That damn thing is blocking the road again! Hit it! Miss Zhang, are you blind? Damn it, step on the gas and ram it! Smash that useless piece of junk!"
When she couldn't push her way to the front, she reached out from behind the driver's seat and started grabbing at Qin Zhen.
Before Qin Zhen could even scream, Fu Qi quickly laid the passenger seat flat, darted to the back row, and pinned the old lady under control.
The old lady didn't manage to grab the driver, but Qin Zhen, the new driver, had already been thrown into a panic. When several twitching zombies lunged at the car, she got so scared that she jerked the steering wheel hard, heading straight for a big tree. By the time she realized it was too late to steer away, she yelped in terror, squeezed her eyes shut, and slammed on the brakes.
Luckily, she was driving very slowly, so the car didn't crash into the tree. Everyone inside was only thrown forward a little by the inertia, and none of them got hurt.
But as soon as the car stopped, the zombies outside swarmed over fast, clawing at the windows and growling nonstop.
This wasn't exactly a major crisis. Since he had let Qin Zhen drive, Fu Qi was already used to this kind of situation.
He was about to get out to clear the zombies, and was going to tell Qin Zhen to watch the old lady so she wouldn't go crazy and lunge for the steering wheel again. But the second he called out "Sweetie", Qin Zhen in the driver's seat wailed at the top of her lungs.
"I told you to tie her up and you just wouldn't! I already said she's a Crazy old lady!"
Little Zombie had never felt so wronged in her life, she was speaking without even stuttering anymore!
Fu Qi: "..."
He had been pretty shocked by Academician Jiang's wild outburst at first, and he did feel bad for Little Zombie, but seeing Qin Zhen burst into tears made him unable to hold back a laugh.
The sound of his laughter reached Qin Zhen's ears. She unbuckled her seatbelt, turned around, and grabbed the peach wood sword beside her — Fu Qi hadn't brought any of her most beloved personal treasures with her, but this thing had made it back completely unharmed. She lifted the peach wood sword and swung it toward the back seat.
"You're all jerks! I'll beat you all up!"
Fu Qi shielded the old lady with his back, caught the peach wood sword, leaned forward, and wrapped his other arm around the seething Little Zombie, patting her back gently to soothe her, "It's all over now, baby. Calm down, just calm down. I'll tie her up right now..."
"Tie your damn self up!"
Fu Qi: "..."
Turns out it's really hard to learn good things, but bad habits stick in a second.
He held the raging Little Zombie tight to keep her from hurting their mission target, seeing how wronged she was, he couldn't laugh anymore. He suppressed his amusement and said, "It's okay now, stop crying, stop throwing a tantrum, huh..."
Nothing he said could calm her down. Finally, he leaned close to the struggling Little Zombie's ear and whispered, "You can touch it."
The raging, sobbing Little Zombie squirmed a few more times before she processed what he said. She stopped struggling immediately, and stared at Fu Qi with her eyes wide open.
Fu Qi nodded, "You heard me right."
The mission was tough, and his team member was impossible to appease. For the sake of the whole team's stability, the dedicated Captain Fu could only bite the bullet and resort to offering his own good looks to calm his team member down.
