Qi Xiuyuan was the first person I met after descending the mountain.
I was thirteen that year.
My master’s enemies came for him, and he didn’t survive long enough for me to return—he died.
I picked up my master’s blade and avenged him. It was the first time I had ever killed someone.
After burying my master, I left the mountain alone, unsure of where to go.
Touching the silver hairpin in my hair, I remembered my master once asking if I wanted to return home. Back then, I hadn’t wanted to leave him, so I refused.
But now, perhaps I could go see them.
My master hadn’t told me much about my parents, only that if I returned, I could become a princess.
So after leaving the mountain, I headed straight for the palace… only to stumble upon a young man and woman discussing poetry and literature.
Their chatter was incomprehensible to me, and I had no interest in eavesdropping. But before I could walk away, the young man chased after me.
He knew martial arts, but he was no match for me, so I quickly knocked him down.
Pressing my foot against his face, I sneered, "I didn’t even bother you, yet you dare provoke me?"
How reckless.
But instead of struggling, he simply stared at me in shock. After a moment, he raised his hands in surrender and said, "My mistake. I yield… please let me up."
Convinced he wouldn’t try anything, I released him. Remembering my purpose for coming here, I casually asked, "Has there ever been a lost princess in this palace?"
He shook his head blankly. "Not just a princess—there hasn’t even been a missing princess consort."
I froze.
He seemed puzzled. "Are you looking for someone?"
Not wanting to reveal too much, I shook my head and stayed silent.
No princess in the palace… Had I come to the wrong place? Or had my master been mistaken?
I began to doubt. After all, the silver hairpin looked ordinary, nothing like a royal heirloom.
"I see," the young man said after watching me in silence for a while. He crouched beside me and struck up a conversation. "You must be lost. Don’t wander around—there are many hidden experts in the palace. You might be mistaken for an assassin."
I ignored him, staring blankly ahead.
He studied me for a long time, as if understanding something. Without pressing further, he quietly took me back to his palace… and somehow, I ended up hidden away there.
He told me his name was Qi Xiuyuan.
He often talked to me—about the books he read, the people he met, his experiences.
Gradually, I learned more about him.
He had been the crown prince’s study companion, but after the late emperor fell ill and died in battle, the crown prince ascended the throne, becoming a young emperor.
The girl I had seen that day was named Su Yingxue, his sweetheart. He had even planned to marry her once he returned to his family’s fief with his father.
But he often lamented that his status wasn’t high enough—marrying her would only bring her hardship.
I didn’t understand what he meant.
Until the following year, when Su Yingxue became the emperor’s favored Consort Xue.
Qi Xiuyuan drowned himself in wine, clinging to me and crying all night, murmuring, "You’re all I have left."
I didn’t know if I was gloating, but I couldn’t deny that his words pleased me.
Only then did I realize that, after spending so much time together, I had developed feelings for him.
I made up my mind—I would stay by his side.
Not long after, Qi Xiuyuan was demoted back to his fief, forbidden from returning to the capital without summons.
I was furious, convinced the emperor had acted out of jealousy over Consort Xue. But Qi Xiuyuan told me not to interfere and solemnly pleaded, "Yue, stay in the capital. I need you."
He returned to his fief, and I became his eyes in the capital.
The more I investigated, the more I uncovered the truth behind his demotion.
It wasn’t the emperor’s jealousy—it was because Qi Xiuyuan had poisoned the young imperial uncle. He had been meticulous, leaving no evidence, and the emperor, valuing their childhood bond, had chosen not to pursue the matter further, merely exiling him.
I was stunned. Had he really gone that far for Su Yingxue?
Even as someone who had lived like a wildling in the mountains, I knew how grave this was… How could Qi Xiuyuan dare?
I couldn’t comprehend it, but I continued gathering information for him, even reporting how deeply Consort Xue and the emperor loved each other… hoping he would wake up before making an irreparable mistake.
We met in secret sometimes, in a small town near his fief.
Those moments felt stolen.
No fighting, no schemes—just peace so beautiful it haunted me. I didn’t want to return to the capital. I wanted to follow him back to his fief.
I confessed my feelings, wishing we could live as an ordinary couple, and urged him to let go of Consort Xue.
He held me tightly, yet his words rejected me.
"Yue, of course I want that too. But don’t you remember? You once promised to help me carve out a future."
"You’re all I have."
I was disappointed, but not surprised.
He was right.
We only had each other. I would support him.
…But he lied to me.
When Qi Xiuyuan turned seventeen, he suddenly sent for me.
Overjoyed, I couldn’t sleep, thinking he had finally come to his senses… But when I arrived at his fief, the first thing he did was introduce me to his wife.
And their child.
Qi Xiuyuan had deceived me.
Yet he had the audacity to take my hand and ask for my help: "Yue, Muling has been… unsettled. Watch over her. Make sure she doesn’t say anything reckless."
My master had been right—I was a fool.
To him, I was just a subordinate. I had read too much into things.
I wanted to leave, to never see Qi Xiuyuan again.
But on the day of my departure, I overheard him ordering his men to poison his wife into silence if necessary… This man’s heart was too cruel.
Out of pity for the girl, I stayed, doing as Qi Xiuyuan asked—keeping watch over Yan Muling, pretending to care while secretly ensuring she stayed quiet.
…
Yan Muling despised me. She often wept and screamed, demanding to know if I was the woman in Qi Xiuyuan’s heart.
I stayed silent.
I knew she meant Su Yingxue.
Yan Muling suffered greatly. After giving birth, learning that Qi Xiuyuan loved another broke her fragile mind. Watching her wither away pained me.
She had a mute maidservant by her side, a skilled fighter whom Qi Xiuyuan had poisoned into silence.
But the mute girl sensed my kindness and didn’t push me away.
As Yan Muling’s condition worsened, the child was mostly raised by me and the mute servant.
Time passed quickly in the fief.
Then, the empress dowager passed away, and Qi Xiuyuan seized his chance.
We returned to the capital, where he was enfeoffed as Prince Ping.
He openly acknowledged his daughter but concealed the existence of his wife.
Yan Muling drifted between lucidity and madness, so Prince Ping abandoned her, leaving her to rot in a derelict courtyard.
Unable to bear it, I chose to stay with Muling and her servant in that broken-down place.
When Muling was clear-headed, she recognized me but never spoke—only wept. And every time she cried, my heart ached.
Just like seeing Xue'er cry, I always felt an urge to comfort her, but I only dared to approach after she had cried herself to exhaustion.
One night, as I carried her to bed, I suddenly noticed my silver hairpin had fallen out at some point.
Yet the next day, I found two silver hairpins tucked inside my collar.
Fate is cruel.
I found my family, but all I felt was bitterness.
Yan Muling turned out to be my own younger sister! And I could only watch helplessly as Qi Xiuyuan mistreated her to this state…
Recalling how the mute girl often gestured to me, describing how innocent and lively Muling used to be, my heart ached.
All of this was Qi Xiuyuan’s doing.
I hated him.
I would take my sister home.
But Muling’s health was too frail. To leave, she needed to recover first, and her moments of clarity grew shorter and shorter… Eventually, even the mute girl was pushed away.
I needed money and a physician.
I sought out Qi Xiuyuan myself, telling him I would continue aiding him—but in return, I demanded silver and his kindness toward his wife.
Qi Xiuyuan had already sensed my coldness. Several times, he tried to embrace me as he once did, but I avoided him each time, provoking his anger and leading to a long standoff.
Now that I came to him willingly, he readily agreed to my terms.
He knew no one could match me.
He also knew that if I truly wished to leave, no one could stop me.
I never revealed my relationship with Muling to anyone. If Qi Xiuyuan found out, she would become his bargaining chip—and her life would be in even greater danger.
By then, Qi Xiuyuan had gathered many allies. Those who crossed him, he sent me to deal with.
Rumors spoke of a wandering miracle physician in a southern city, and Prince Ping happened to have a minor official there who needed "handling." I set off eagerly.
If I could bring the physician back, Muling would surely recover!
I departed with hope in my heart.
I will always remember how, before I left, Muling had a rare moment of clarity. She awkwardly told me to be careful, her expression vivid and alive.
That was my sister—a kind and innocent girl.
But I never got the chance to hear her call me "elder sister."
By the time I returned, Muling’s body was already stiff, the dagger embedded in her chest glaringly conspicuous… It was the very blade Qi Xiuyuan always carried.
The mute girl, gravely injured, had been unconscious for days. After I summoned a physician and she awoke, we buried Muling together.
The grave was small, but my vision blurred so badly I couldn’t even see its full shape.
I don’t know how long I wept before I finally wiped my face clean and buried our pair of silver hairpins at Muling’s grave.
I would avenge Muling.
Qi Xiuyuan deserved to die.
Killing Qi Xiuyuan wouldn’t be easy. He was cautious, skilled, and had secretly trained a group of assassins. Even with my martial prowess, I found no opening.
Reflecting on the past, I steadied myself and began plotting anew.
Qi Xiuyuan had to pay—he had to die in agony. That was what he owed Muling!
Qi Xiuyuan’s influence stretched far in the capital, and his greatest rival was his imperial uncle, the current regent.
If his poisoning years ago had been accidental, now he was desperate to eliminate the regent.
But the regent was no easy target either.
The two had schemed against each other for years, each familiar with the other’s tricks… I decided to ally with the regent.
Yet I knew he wouldn’t trust me easily, especially since I was Prince Ping’s subordinate.
So I had to prove my sincerity.
Qi Xiuyuan repeatedly ordered me to assassinate the regent.
I had always refused, unwilling to serve him further—but this time, I agreed.
I was working for myself now.
Disguised as a beggar, I waited for days before seizing a chance to approach the regent. The blade meant for his throat only grazed his thigh.
I wasn’t sure if the regent understood my message… but I had no further opportunities.
Qi Xiuyuan’s suspicions finally fell on me.
The night of the failed assassination, his assassins chased me to the outskirts.
Prince Ping’s subordinates were all poisoned, given antidotes at intervals. Betrayal or rebellion meant death at his whim… Once, Qi Xiuyuan told me his cruelty was reserved for outsiders.
But tonight, every assassin’s weapon was laced with lethal venom… He had no intention of letting me live.
I wouldn’t survive the night.
As the blade pierced my chest, hatred consumed me… My life flashed before my eyes, and in the haze, a strange voice whispered that I shouldn’t die.
I should have returned to my homeland, married Qi Xiuyuan as part of an alliance, borne his children, and lived happily ever after.
I laughed until tears streamed down my face… What a ludicrous joke!
I truly shouldn’t have died.
I should have killed Qi Xiuyuan myself!
But now I was dying. I could feel myself losing control, something pressing against me, and the strange voice spoke again—not to me, but to another.
Another soul had taken over my body.
I listened as the monster assigned that soul a mission—its purpose was obvious… Absurd! I would never allow it!
I wouldn’t let that monster succeed!
…
I succeeded.
Qi Xiuyuan died by "my" hand—the same dagger that had pierced Muling’s chest now stood embedded in his heart.
The body was my reward. I willingly departed.
Muling… Your elder sister was too late.
