Lou Yue leaned against his shoulder, breathing in the faint, wintry scent of frost and snow that clung to him. At last, the turmoil in her heart gradually began to settle.
She raised her head again, though a trace of lingering daze remained in her voice. “I’m fine…”
Xiao Rangchen gently brushed his thumb over the reddened corner of her eye, his gaze earnest and intent.
Lou Yue looked at him and murmured softly, “I just realized... I seem to have forgotten a great many things.”
The corner of Xiao Rangchen’s lips lifted faintly, relief hidden within his smile. “So you finally noticed.”
Confusion gathered in Lou Yue’s eyes.
Xiao Rangchen bent slightly closer. His hands came to rest at either side of her face, stroking slowly as he spoke in a low, solemn voice. “Lou Yue, I first met you four years ago.”
Lou Yue froze.
“It was in the frost-birch forest behind the peak of Cangya Cliff. Fine snow was falling then. You wore a peacock-green brocade robe and sat carelessly with your eyes closed on a frost-birch branch. Amid all that white, you were so dazzling that no one could look away.”
“When you noticed me, you opened your eyes and gave me a casual glance. Proud, aloof, and brazen. After looking at me only once, you closed your eyes again.”
“Later, I learned that your name was Lou Yue, and that you were a guest of one of the Four Great Families, there to observe the Cangya trials.”
“Not two days later, my spiritual channels were damaged. I was falsely accused and expelled from Cangya Cliff. As I was leaving, I inexplicably made my way back to the frost-birch forest, where I met you again.”
Xiao Rangchen suddenly gave a quiet laugh, fine sparks of light rippling in his eyes. “You looked bored out of your mind. You were crouching in the snow, rolling a whole pile of snowballs.”
“When you looked up and saw me, you invited me to join you. You said that rolling the snowballs larger and then hurling them hard was incredibly satisfying.”
“I rolled snowballs with you for an entire afternoon. We piled them into a small mountain, but I did not throw a single one. You threw every last one of them.”
Lou Yue: “…”
Xiao Rangchen’s gaze softened as he looked at her. “Afterward, you asked whether I was still upset. That was when I understood. You had used the snowballs to help me vent all the grievance I had been holding inside.”
“You were certain then. You said I would not remain fallen forever. You also said that you would wait for me in Yucheng.”
A look of surprise crossed Lou Yue’s face. Yucheng was precisely where she had met Xiao Rangchen and Xiao Aiai two years ago.
“At the time, I was being hunted. I should never have set foot in Yucheng, yet I went anyway.” His voice softened, tinged with an almost imperceptible bitterness. “But... you had already forgotten me.”
Lou Yue had never imagined there was such a history between them, one she had forgotten. “I... don’t remember.”
“I remember,” Xiao Rangchen said quietly.
He leaned closer, pressing his warm lips gently to the corner of her eye. “So it does not matter. The things you have forgotten, someone will remember for you. Perhaps one day, those lost memories will return in another form.”
“Until then, just be yourself.”
Lou Yue gazed deeply into his eyes. After a long silence, she suddenly looked away, and her usual careless languor returned to her voice. “I never thought a scoundrel could be so good at sweet-talking people.”
Xiao Rangchen was left momentarily speechless by her retort.
Lou Yue pushed him away and turned to gather the things on the table. “Go out. I need to rest.”
Xiao Rangchen watched the person who discarded him the moment she had made use of him. Helplessness welled in his eyes, only to melt at last into an indulgent smile.
He remained where he was, neither stepping forward nor leaving, his gaze resting on her retreating figure.
The room was quiet, filled only with the faint sounds of her tidying her things. Candlelight cast a warm glow over everything, peaceful and tranquil enough to stir an endless sense of longing.
After a moment of silence, he casually tossed out a question. “Why aren’t you asking about my tribulation?”
His tone was even, as though it were merely an offhand remark.
Lou Yue’s fingertips paused briefly. Her expression remained composed as she placed the scrolls and miscellaneous items into a wooden box one by one. “What is there to ask? You’re standing right here, so naturally you passed it.”
“Aren’t you curious why I’m at the middle stage of the Soul Formation realm?”
She fastened the box shut and slid it back beneath the bed before finally raising her eyes coolly. “Then tell me. Why are you at the middle stage of Soul Formation?”
Xiao Rangchen answered frankly, “Mm. I don’t know either.”
“...” Lou Yue rose to her feet and shot him a cold look. “Get out.”
Xiao Rangchen slowly lowered his lashes, his shoulders drooping slightly. He even looked somewhat forlorn.
Lou Yue did not believe for a moment that he would be dejected over a single order to leave. Suppressing the turmoil in her heart, she asked, “What exactly did you come here for? When are you leaving?”
He still kept his eyes lowered, making it impossible to discern the emotions within them. His voice was soft. “Then I’ll leave tomorrow morning... I should at least greet your father before I go.”
Lou Yue had not truly meant to drive him away at once. But the longer he stayed here, the harder it would be for her to keep her secret.
“Before I leave, I want to see what you look like as a woman.”
Lou Yue’s heart abruptly tightened.
“I want to remember every side of you.” His voice carried the lingering desolation of someone who had narrowly escaped death. “When I thought I was bound to die this time, when the final Profound Gold lightning bolt struck—”
“I only regretted that I hadn’t told you: I like you. And I don’t want to share you with anyone.”
“I once thought that as long as you were willing to look back at me, I would gladly be the second boat.”
He gave a bitter laugh. “But I can’t do it, Lou Yue. I can’t.”
“I want to hide you away somewhere no one else can see.”
“Lou Yue.”
His eyes were as deep as an abyss as he enunciated each word:
“I only want you for myself.”
“Every side of you—I want to etch them all firmly into my heart.”
Lou Yue was caught by the fathomless devotion and possessiveness in his eyes. It took all her effort to turn her head away. After a while, she said, “Once you’ve seen me, you’ll go back to your own room?”
“Mm.”
Lou Yue turned and entered the adjoining side chamber. She changed back into her female form, deliberately choosing the garment with the most tightly covered neckline.
When she emerged, Xiao Rangchen was leaning casually against the edge of the table, one hand resting loosely upon it. His gaze was dark and fixed, watching her without blinking.
Lou Yue did not go any closer, remaining by the side-chamber doorway instead. “You’ve seen me. You can go back now.”
Xiao Rangchen straightened and walked toward her, step by step.
Lou Yue’s back went taut, and she forcibly restrained the urge to retreat.
He completely blocked the lamplight. The warm golden glow outlined only a faint silhouette around him from behind.
He stopped within arm’s reach, his presence enveloping her.
The crisp, snow-cool scent of him lingered at the tip of Lou Yue’s nose, mingled with the faintest trace of wine.
He gazed at her, then slowly raised his left hand and gently closed the door behind her.
The soft click sounded unnaturally loud in the silence.
Lou Yue’s heart gave an inexplicable little flutter.
Xiao Rangchen kept his palm against the door. His gaze traveled unhurriedly over her brows, her eyes, the tip of her nose, her lips, and her chin. It lingered for a moment on her tightly fastened collar before rising to meet her eyes again.
Lou Yue was beginning to regret letting her heart soften and returning to this appearance.
She raised a hand to push him away as he edged closer. “You’ve had your look. How much longer are you going to stay?”
Xiao Rangchen caught her hand in his right one. Looking down, he slowly rubbed his thumb over her knuckles and along her fingers, finally stopping at the scratch on the inside of her little finger that had yet to fully heal. His thumb brushed over it again and again.
A restless heat spread from her fingertips, and Lou Yue abruptly pulled her hand back.
Rather than retreat, Xiao Rangchen moved closer. His right hand slid to the back of her neck, and he leaned in, his breath growing warmer against her face. He was clearly about to kiss her.
Lou Yue clamped her lips shut and lifted her foot to kick him.
But the next instant, a numbness spread from the back of her neck.
All the strength suddenly drained from her body, and she went limp.
Xiao Rangchen caught her securely, then bent and swept her into his arms.
Lou Yue stared at him, shocked and furious. “What did you do to me?”
Without a word, Xiao Rangchen carried her to the bed and sat down.
“Xiao Rangchen!” she shouted.
He brushed his fingertips over her cheek. When he spoke, his voice held an obsession he had suppressed for far too long. “Don’t be angry. There’s just something I need to confirm.”
“Whatever it is, you can ask me!” Lou Yue said urgently.
“You wouldn’t tell me the truth.”
“You haven’t asked. How do you know I wouldn’t?”
Xiao Rangchen lowered his eyes and quietly studied her, taking in the fear she was trying so hard to conceal. “All right, then tell me—was it you?”
Lou Yue’s heart hammered, but she struggled to keep her expression steady. “What do you mean, was it me?”
Xiao Rangchen reached for her collar, his movements unhurried but leaving her no room to evade him.
“At first, I only had my suspicions. Something felt wrong, but I had no proof, so I could only assume I was confusing a dream with reality.”
His fingertips deftly undid the first hidden fastening. His voice was low and calm. “Then I saw blood on my inner robe.”
“What blood?” Lou Yue blurted out.
His hand paused. He glanced at her with dark, intent eyes and said, each word perfectly clear, “Your blood.”
The realization exploded in Lou Yue’s mind. It was…
She clenched her teeth, but her face burned despite herself.
Xiao Rangchen undid the second fastening with deliberate care. “So I went back. Those two demon beasts aren’t very bright. It didn’t take much effort to get the answers I wanted.”
“I spent half the night in the mountains calming myself down. I didn’t let your father catch me until morning.”
Lou Yue ground her teeth. “You did it on purpose!”
“Yes.” He admitted it without hesitation. “If I’d come to you privately, you would have grown suspicious. You might even have avoided me.”
The third fastening came undone. He looked up at her, his voice carrying an unmistakable determination. “I wanted to confirm it for myself, face-to-face.”
Lou Yue bit down hard on her lip.
Xiao Rangchen lowered his eyes and slowly slipped a fingertip beneath the collar she had wrapped tightly around herself.
When the faint red mark hidden beneath it came into view, the tension that had gripped his heart for so long released in an instant.
It really was her.
He opened her collar all the way, revealing the delicate line of her collarbone and shoulders. His fingertip traced, one by one, the marks—deep and shallow—that he himself had left behind.
Lou Yue closed her eyes, her long lashes trembling faintly.
Xiao Rangchen reached out and brushed his fingers over her quivering lashes. Then he cradled the back of her head and pulled her tightly into his embrace.
So all along, he had simply been jumping to conclusions.
So Lou Yue had always been a woman.
So she did care about him after all.
He buried his face against her neck, breathing deeply of the sweet warmth and floral fragrance clinging to her. His voice was low and hoarse.
“Why… wouldn’t you let me know?”
Lou Yue remained silent for a long while. When she finally spoke, her voice carried a hint of exasperation, as though she had decided to let everything fall apart.
“Xiao Rangchen, you really are a bastard.”
“Mm.”
Xiao Rangchen turned his head and kissed the side of her neck lightly.
Lou Yue’s half-lowered lashes trembled again, entirely beyond her control.
“Lou Yue…” he murmured against her skin. “You do like me, deep down, don’t you…?”
Lou Yue pressed her lips tightly together and forced herself to retort, “No!”
Xiao Rangchen sucked hard at her neck, a low, triumphant laugh in his voice.
“Your father told me that your words have to be interpreted the other way around.”
That single kiss made Lou Yue’s whole body tremble. But she had no strength left to resist, and could only grit her teeth.
“Where did you get that confidence?”
Xiao Rangchen answered with perfect righteousness, “You gave it to me.”
Lou Yue: “…”
He lifted his head and gently tilted her chin up, making her face him.
Gazing at her striking, vividly beautiful face, he softened his voice.
“Lou Yue, I’m so happy.”
His eyes, brows, and lips were all steeped in genuine delight. He looked like a child who had waited a very long time and had finally received the candy he had wanted more than anything.
The purity of his smile dazzled Lou Yue for a moment, and she instinctively turned her face away.
Xiao Rangchen gently rubbed her flushed earlobe, the joy in his eyes so intense it seemed ready to overflow.
He tightened his arms around her, holding her even more securely against him.
“To be able to hold you like this, to have you lower your guard and let me see the real you—I’m happier than I would be after surviving the Spirit Transformation tribulation, happier by a thousand times over.”
Lou Yue’s fingers clenched in his robes. She refused to answer, yet the tension in her shoulders slowly eased before she even realized it.
Xiao Rangchen lowered his head, the tip of his nose brushing her cheek. His voice was low and enticing.
“You don’t have to admit it.”
“I can wait. I’ll wait until the day you tell me yourself that you like me.”
“Until then…”
He lightly pecked the corner of her lips.
“I’ll just take it that you already do.”
Something scorching slammed into Lou Yue’s heart without warning, and even her breathing stopped for a brief moment.
Only after a long while did she manage to force out a scoff.
“…You really have some nerve.”
“Mm.”
He answered softly, his eyes rippling with light.
In the moment Lou Yue lost herself, another person’s taste flooded between her lips and teeth.
The kiss was not forceful, but it was deep and unhurried.
The scent of wine, mingled with frost and snow, spread across his lips and tongue.
He lingered over her, tangled around her, never letting go.
Xiao Rangchen idly kneaded the nape of her neck, gradually drawing Lou Yue into a daze.
When he pulled back slightly, she instinctively sought him out again.
He pressed his lips to hers once more, kissing her deeper.
What had begun as a gentle kiss slowly turned heated and urgent in their silent pursuit of one another, as though even the air had caught fire.
Xiao Rangchen pressed her down onto the bed, his entire body covering hers.
Lou Yue pushed at him with hands that had somehow regained their strength. He simply pinned her hands back to the mattress, lacing his fingers tightly through hers.
The faint tremors that had subsided surged up again, as though her body had instantly recognized another person.
And when she became aware of his response, those tremors only intensified.
Lou Yue shook her head, avoiding his kiss. “Enough... enough...”
Xiao Rangchen lifted his face slightly, his desire-filled gaze fixed on her.
“Get off me.” Her breathless tone carried little threat.
Looking at her reddened eyes and swollen lips, his Adam’s apple bobbed. His voice was low and hoarse with restraint. “Lou Yue...”
The tips of Lou Yue’s ears burned. “Get off!”
In the end, Xiao Rangchen rolled over and lay on the outer side of the bed.
Then he turned toward her, one hand gripping her waist and twisting her until her back faced him.
The next instant, a heavy kiss landed on her left shoulder.
Xiao Rangchen caught her clothes between his teeth and tugged them down, his lips falling upon the shoulder blade he had fantasized about countless times.
He nipped and teased it.
Lou Yue’s back tensed, but that only caused the parts that should not have been pressed together to touch.
She froze and immediately tried to scoot forward.
Xiao Rangchen’s left hand moved to cover her waist and abdomen, pulling her firmly back against him.
“Don’t move...” he murmured hoarsely, the words muffled.
Before long, the large hand resting on Lou Yue’s stomach began to stroke and knead.
His ministrations made Lou Yue even more uncomfortable.
And he was clearly no better off himself.
Lou Yue endured it and endured it, until at last a vein throbbed at her temple and her pent-up irritation exploded.
The next second—
She abruptly turned over and kicked him off the bed.
“Get the hell back to your own room!”
The man on the floor had clearly not expected this. He landed in a seated sprawl, and for once, his cold, sharp features showed a trace of stunned bewilderment—he even looked a little innocent.
Lou Yue pulled her clothes back into place and sat up. “Now. This instant. Get out!”
“Lou Yue...” His voice was still hoarse, still dangerously magnetic.
“Don’t call my name. Get out!”
She glared at him, then added,
“And when you’re in front of my father, watch yourself.”
“If he finds out, I may be fine—but you? You’re definitely finished.”
