Chapter 110
The emperor would have done better not to say that. The moment he did, Cui Lanyin was seized by irritation.
The emperor had always said whatever he wished to say, while the things he did not want to discuss would remain hidden no matter how hard one racked one’s brains trying to guess them.
Yet when it came to her, he insisted that she voice all her thoughts, even pointing out that she had many things hidden away and refused to say.
The fact that the emperor could see through her thoughts was one matter. Whether she chose to speak of them was another.
Suddenly, Cui Lanyin gave the emperor a coquettish smile. She raised her fingers delicately and smoothed the informal robe he had hastily thrown on. She had always possessed a lovely voice, and now she deliberately softened it until it seemed sweet enough to drip honey.
“Uncle, the weather is still chilly. You must take good care of yourself. If anything happened to you, my whole sky would come crashing down…”
As she spoke, she pulled a handkerchief from her sleeve and dabbed at her eyes. Then she leaned against him limply, looking every inch the kind of seductive beauty who could bring a kingdom to ruin.
The emperor, who was usually unmoved by anything, froze for a moment. Then, instinctively, he leaned back, trying to evade her.
Cui Lanyin grabbed him by the collar. “Uncle, isn’t this the way you wanted me to become? Why are you avoiding me now?”
The emperor’s rarely expressive face twitched twice, as though he were suffering from a toothache. “You could never become like this.”
“I may not be able to become like this.” Cui Lanyin smiled slyly. “But I can put on an act.”
“An act?”
“Uncle should remember. When I first began going to Prince Wei’s residence and the palace, I was very well-behaved and sweet. Most of that was an act. But people are made of flesh and blood. You and the Empress Dowager treated me with genuine kindness, so I naturally responded with sincerity. Little by little, I showed my true nature.
“Uncle, do you want me to keep pretending in front of you?”
The emperor looked at her and said slowly, “That wasn’t an act. You openly admitted that you wanted to curry favor with me.”
“An act naturally has to contain both truth and falsehood.” Cui Lanyin patiently spelled it out for him. “Back when I imagined marrying Tan Shao, I had even planned to become the sort of delicate, devoted wife I pretended to be, because that was the kind of gentle and affectionate wife Tan Shao wanted.
“I won’t hide this from you, Uncle. I’m very good at reading the situation and adapting. If my marriage to Meng Huaizong had gone through, I would have changed myself according to his preferences as well.”
Cui Lanyin narrowed her eyes slightly. “Perhaps I was simply born with too little sentiment in me. Since Tan Shao and I grew up together, he knew me best. He once told me that if I wished, I could coax anyone into doing whatever I wanted.”
The emperor was silent for a while before asking, “Why are you willing to tell me this now?”
“You were the one who asked me to speak of the things I keep hidden in my heart,” Cui Lanyin replied. “These are the things I’ve hidden deepest.
“When I first learned I was pregnant, I intended to put on an act for you. I wanted to accommodate you, to become the understanding empress you needed, and to keep you by my side as much as possible.
“But I discovered that I couldn’t do it. When you treated me well, my happiness showed on my face. When you were careless about your appearance, I really did find it irritating. When you provoked me, I wanted to pick a fight with you. I simply couldn’t restrain my emotions and become your understanding flower.
“You were the one who pulled me out when I was at my most destitute. To me, you are no less important than my own family. I don’t want to treat you with the same face I use to deal with outsiders.
“You may not know this, Uncle, but when someone pretends for too long, even she herself can no longer tell whether it is real or false. And your thoughts toward me may not be as obvious as you imagine. Women aren’t as simple as you think.”
“Stop talking.” The emperor took her hand, his tone almost pleading. “Let’s just go on living as we always have.”
“But we can’t.” Cui Lanyin poked him in the chest. “Uncle, you’re the sort who allows the local magistrate to set fires while forbidding ordinary people from lighting lamps.”
The emperor remained impassive. “What do you mean?”
Cui Lanyin’s expression darkened. “You asked me to reveal everything hidden in my heart, but what about you? You put on that inscrutable face in front of me every day. Why don’t you return the favor and tell me something?”
The emperor looked rather taken aback. “I haven’t…”
Cui Lanyin planted both hands on her waist, her voice rising despite herself. “I’m being more than reasonable. I won’t ask about anything else. Just tell me why you’ve been acting so strangely lately. And don’t say it’s to make amends. We’ve shared a bed for so long—if I still couldn’t tell even this much, then all those nights would have been wasted.”
The emperor rubbed his forehead and laughed softly. “If you had spoken to me like this from the beginning, why would I have gone to so much trouble?”
He leaned back and stretched out comfortably before sighing. “You’ve worn me out.”
Cui Lanyin was about to pull him upright.
“Don’t. I’ll tell you.” The emperor took hold of her hand. “After you lost your temper with me the day we learned you were pregnant, you never truly got angry with me again. Even when you occasionally gave me the cold shoulder, you were mostly putting on a show. I wanted you to relax, but I ended up making a desperate attempt at treating the wrong illness.”
She had just admitted that she had considered putting on an act, and the emperor had immediately given her an explanation that left her unable to refute him.
Just as on the day she had thrown the storybook in front of him, she could find no flaw in his words.
She was certain that this was not the whole truth, but she simply could not draw anything more out of him. It left Cui Lanyin terribly frustrated.
Then she suddenly thought that since they had already said everything that could and could not be said, why should she continue to swallow her grievances?
At worst, she would live with her daughter and the Empress Dowager. Things could hardly get worse than that.
“I hope that really is the reason.” Cui Lanyin pulled her hand free and poked him in the chest once more. “Fourth Young Master Zhao, you won’t let me kiss you or touch you, and you won’t even let me use your arm as a pillow? Fine, then keep them all to yourself. As if I care.
“And don’t think you can tease me like that again. I can abstain just fine. I’d like to see whether you can hold out until after I’ve given birth.”
With that, Cui Lanyin climbed down from the luohan couch and went into the inner room. When the emperor tried to follow, Cui Lanyin imitated his earlier finger flick. The emperor stopped where he was, his smile vanishing.
After the meal, Cui Lanyin said bluntly, “We’ll sleep separately for a few days.”
She went straight back into the inner chamber. The emperor knew that the more he spoke now, the worse things would become, so he could only remain on the luohan couch and sit in meditation.
Once Cui Lanyin lay down, however, she tossed and turned, unable to sleep. She still couldn’t swallow her anger.
A dull heaviness began to spread through her head. Since she did not want to take medicine while pregnant, all she could do was wait for the headache to pass.
Thinking of the emperor only made her angrier. Even as the pain grew, she couldn’t help snapping, “You, Zhao fellow, get in here!”
The moment the emperor entered, he saw that something was wrong. He hurried over. “Your headache is acting up?”
“It’s all your fault.” Cui Lanyin huffed angrily. “Massage it for me. Don’t even think about sleeping tonight.”
The emperor did not dare say a word. He carefully pressed and massaged the spot she indicated.
But it did not help. Before long, a fine, dense pain began to spread through her head.
The emperor summoned Imperial Physician Cao after all. Imperial Physician Cao did not dare prescribe medicine for her either. Even acupuncture had to be performed with caution, as some acupoints could not be needled during pregnancy. He could only use a different technique. Fortunately, it had some effect. Although it could not stop the pain completely, it made it bearable.
Imperial Physician Cao comforted her, saying, “Your Highness, endure for a few more months. Once you have given birth to the little… princess and completed your confinement, your headaches can be completely cured.”
“My headaches can be cured?” Cui Lanyin asked in surprise. The pain in her head even seemed to ease a little.
Imperial Physician Cao nodded. “Indeed. During this period, you must think less and get less angry. That way, when an attack comes, the pain will be milder, and my treatment will be more effective.”
Now that she knew her headaches could be cured, Cui Lanyin found the emperor standing nearby much less irritating.
Imperial Physician Cao turned to the emperor again. “Your Majesty, have all the medicinal ingredients I asked you to prepare been obtained? The most important one is the herb that must be gathered during Frost’s Descent…”
“That’s enough.” The Emperor seemed impatient with his rambling and cut him off in time.
Cui Lanyin turned to him. “What was that about Frostfall? Imperial Physician Cao, you told my uncle before that my headaches could be cured. When did you tell him?”
“The pain has only just stopped. Don’t talk so much.” The Emperor reached out and pressed a finger to her lips. Then he turned to Imperial Physician Cao and said, “Go wait outside.”
Imperial Physician Cao sensed that something was amiss. He lowered his head and walked toward the outer room. Just before reaching the door, he muttered vaguely to Cui Lanyin, “It was the night before His Majesty’s enthronement ceremony.” Then he hurriedly slipped away into the outer room.
Cui Lanyin looked at the Emperor. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
The Emperor sighed. “How could I? If I told you that your headaches could be cured while you were recovering after giving birth, wouldn’t that have hit you right where it hurt? You were so convinced at the time that you shouldn’t have children.”
Cui Lanyin was left speechless.
“I know you’re suspicious of me now and think everything I do is questionable.” A note of grievance crept into the Emperor’s voice. “After I prepared the medicine, I did consider mentioning it to you. Don’t you remember? Once, I asked why you weren’t worried about getting pregnant—whether it was because I was old and no longer capable.
“Later, I asked Imperial Physician Cao about it too, and he said you would have difficulty conceiving…”
There really had been such an exchange. Feeling that she was in the wrong, Cui Lanyin gave a dissatisfied hum. “Stop rambling. You make yourself sound so terribly wronged.”
The Emperor climbed onto the bed and pulled her into his arms. By her ear, he murmured regretfully, “I’m so much older than you. I should have been more indulgent, yet I made you this angry. You’re carrying a child, too. When you’re feeling better, you can hit me…”
In the outer room, Imperial Physician Cao almost covered his ears. He had never imagined that the Emperor would be so meek before the Empress.
At the same time, he felt relieved. Since he had only let the Empress in on the matter because of the Emperor, His Majesty probably would not punish him.
The bout of headaches took two days to subside. It was not until the third day that Cui Lanyin was able to leave the East Pavilion.
She had wanted Geng Dayou to investigate Cheng Gui in detail, but when Geng Dayou left the East Pavilion, he happened to run into Chilin, who was idling in the courtyard.
After Geng Dayou began going back and forth to the East Pavilion, he gradually grew familiar with the Four Lins. Whenever they met, they would exchange a few words.
Buyan, Buyu, Gufeng, and the Four Lins all valued old acquaintances. Anyone who had spent time with them back at the former princely residence was treated with special warmth.
Commissioner Song and Geng Dayou often visited the East Pavilion. Whenever they arrived around mealtimes, Buyan and the others, along with the Four Lins, would take the two men to eat without even waiting for Cui Lanyin to give the order.
Chilin called out, “It’s nearly noon. Why don’t you stay for a meal before you leave?”
Geng Dayou knew that nothing concerning Cui Lanyin would be kept from these men. He raised the notebook in his hand. “Her Highness instructed me to investigate someone. I have work to do, so I can’t sit around.”
“Who are you investigating?”
“Cheng Gui, the younger son of Cheng Yu, the Vice Minister of Revenue. Prince An wants to arrange a marriage between him and Her Highness’s younger female cousin. Her Highness wants to know what he’s really like in private.”
“Is he easy to investigate? Can you finish in a day?” Chilin asked.
Geng Dayou shook his head. “Things outside are easy enough to investigate, but matters within a household are difficult to inquire into. If you run into a family that keeps a tight watch over its affairs, even money won’t help much. Fortunately, Her Highness isn’t in a hurry. I’ll take my time and find a way.”
“If that’s the case, then don’t waste your effort.” Chilin took him by the arm and led him to the East Pavilion. To the eunuch waiting beneath the eaves, he said, “Go announce that I have something to discuss with Her Highness.”
The eunuch reported their arrival through the door. Buyu opened it and welcomed the two men inside.
Since she had begun handling affairs in the East Pavilion, Cui Lanyin often saw the Four Lins coming and going, but they rarely exchanged more than a greeting in passing. This was the first time Chilin had come to see her there.
It was unlike the days at the former princely residence, when the Four Lins came to Yi’an Hall every day as regularly as officials reporting for duty. Chilin came most often, always with endless gossip about the private affairs of one household or another.
Those had been truly carefree days.
Compared with now, when she possessed wealth and rank beyond imagination, life no longer held the same ease and freedom. Even the people who had once been close to her had gradually begun to keep their distance. Cui Lanyin often felt a vague sense of loss.
She was quite surprised. Dispensing with formalities, she said to Chilin, “Does my uncle need something?”
Once inside, Chilin relaxed and, just as he had in the past, said with a broad grin, “I’ve been wanting to come and chat with Her Highness for ages. But it had been so long since my last visit that I was afraid you might find it presumptuous…”
Only then did Cui Lanyin realize that the Four Lins had also been unsure how to resume their old relationship after such a long separation.
Her spirits lifted. “I thought you were afraid of giving the censors an excuse to impeach me.”
“That was part of it,” Chilin admitted frankly. “It was only after His Majesty said it wouldn’t be a problem that I stopped worrying.”
Cui Lanyin paused. “His Majesty specifically told you that?”
“Yes. He summoned all four of us and spoke to us together. He also said that, except for major matters, we should let Her Highness make the decisions.”
Thinking of the discord that had arisen between herself and the Emperor since that day, Cui Lanyin felt an indescribable mixture of emotions.
Chilin continued, “Your Highness, there’s no need to assign investigations to Geng Dayou in the future. If you want to know the private affairs of the various families in Yingcheng, I can give you a general outline. If you need more details, just ask Xuanlin. He can investigate on the spot and bring back the results within a day.”
Cui Lanyin had always known that they were capable of this. Before, she simply had not known the Emperor’s attitude and had not felt comfortable approaching the Four Lins.
Setting aside the tangled thoughts in her mind, she asked, “Then you already know about Cheng Gui? Does he have concubines or personal maids in his household? When he visits brothels, does he keep himself in check? What plans does he have for his future career? And is the Cheng family easy to get along with?”
The whole thing has been substantially revised, so you’ll have to read it again. [Wicked grin]
