Slacking Off in the Palace, with Grand Scholars Vying for My Favor

Chapter 62

【Host, what do you want to do?】

【Strike them down with divine lightning! Right when they’re at their most triumphant, deliver the hammer of justice!】

【Yes! Hurry, let’s get into the city!】

The system imagined the scene, so excited that its text practically glowed.

One bolt of heavenly retribution, and who would still believe those White Lotus Sect members were good people?

Its text was so dazzling that Lu Lingyun, who had been staring at it, couldn’t help but rub his eyes—they were starting to ache.

“Uncle, what’s wrong?” Pei Chiyan noticed his discomfort.

Lu Lingyun cleared his throat. “It’s nothing.”

The deity was perfect in every way, generous with rewards—but its handwriting… well, that was another matter entirely.

Yu Miaohua turned to Wen Qingying. “Come with us.”

As a remnant of the previous dynasty, the Marquis of Wulie and his men likely wouldn’t let her leave so easily.

Yu Miaohua doubted Wen Qingying knew much about the former dynasty’s secrets—at the very least, she couldn’t have known about the treasure map. Otherwise, the remnants who came before her would have already retrieved it, leaving nothing for them.

“If you ever wish to leave, I’ll do my best to secure permission for you.”

She could exchange her merits for it.

Wen Qingying had voluntarily revealed herself to them, an act that would be seen as betrayal by the other remnants. Yu Miaohua sensed she wasn’t truly aligned with them—she had no interest in restoring the old regime.

It made sense. She was a princess… Knowing those men, even if they succeeded, they’d never let her rule. She’d just be a figurehead. Expected to bear the greatest risks as their banner, yet denied any real power—who’d bother with them?

Wen Qingying studied Yu Miaohua’s earnest expression. She hadn’t promised freedom outright, only her best effort. That honesty made her words feel genuine, not empty reassurance.

She’d never met the current emperor, but his benevolent policies in Jiangzhou spoke louder than Xia Fangzhou’s empty posturing. If Xia Fangzhou somehow seized the throne, he and his ilk would only gorge themselves on the people’s suffering. They didn’t miss the old dynasty—they missed trampling over others.

“Will you protect me and my maid?”

The question slipped out before she could stop it.

Yu Miaohua answered solemnly, “As long as neither of you breaks Great Qi’s laws, yes.”

“I understand. I’ll go with you. But first, I need to fetch my maid.”

Wei Ning should have escaped by now.

“Good. You’ll ride in my carriage.”

Lu Lingyun and Jiang Kangyou stayed silent. It was clear this descendant of the fallen dynasty trusted only Yu Miaohua.

Pei Yuheng interjected, “Give her a separate carriage.”

He still didn’t trust her.

Yu Miaohua countered, “I have questions for her. Sharing a carriage is more convenient.”

Her carriage was spacious enough for five without crowding.

Pei Chiyan declared, “I’ll ride with you.”

That was his compromise.

Yu Miaohua insisted, “I can defend myself! Don’t let appearances fool you—I’m strong.”

She boasted a 0.5-goose combat rating—enough to take on five Wen Qingyings.

Of course, her real confidence came from the system. Without it, she’d never dare be so bold.

To Wen Qingying, this was a gesture of trust.

Her gaze flickered between Pei Yuheng and Pei Chiyan—amusing.

A mischievous smile flashed across her lips before she leaned into Yu Miaohua, feigning fragility. “Due to past experiences, I harbor an instinctive hatred and fear of men…”

“Forgive me, but I can’t share a carriage with them. Being too close makes me feel suffocated.” She paused. “Unless they’re not men.”

Her eyes swept over Pei Lingyue, Pei Chiyan, Shen Sushang, Lu Lingyun, Jiang Kangyou, and Jiang Xunxin.

Jiang Xunxin, usually stoic, recoiled as her gaze landed on him, goosebumps rising—why did this woman feel more dangerous than an army?

“Unless you’re willing to cross-dress.”

Jiang Xunxin outright retreated several steps, his stance clear.

Jiang Kangyou glanced between Pei Chiyan and Pei Yuheng, barely suppressing laughter.

He’d never volunteered to ride inside anyway—better them than him.

Pei Yuheng froze.

Pei Chiyan’s smile vanished.

【Ahhh! Cross-dressing! Cross-dressing! Hehe, I’ve decided I like this former princess!】

【…Well, you really can’t judge a book by its cover.】

Yu Miaohua marveled inwardly as Wen Qingying clung to her.

……

【Ahhh! Sobs My life is complete!】

【As expected of the Crown Prince—even in women’s attire, his beauty shines!】

【Congratulations, Host! Unlocked CG “Cross-Dressing for You.” Reward: One weather-related skill.】

Yu Miaohua checked the options: Dragon King, Heavenly Strike, Blizzard, even Tornado—all highly practical.

Thanks to the Crown Prince’s sacrifice!

Truly, his composure was extraordinary. When he’d casually said, “I’ll do it,” she’d thought she misheard.

The dress wasn’t hers—the sizes didn’t match—but a new set bought by guards.

Surprisingly, it suited him, adding an androgynous allure.

【System, take lots of photos and videos.】

Yu Miaohua secretly instructed while chatting with Wen Qingying. She couldn’t openly stare—he’d dressed like this for her safety, after all.

Perhaps impressed by the Crown Prince’s unhesitating compliance, Wen Qingying became remarkably cooperative, answering every question.

Yu Miaohua learned the White Lotus Sect’s leader was Xia Fangzhou—Wen Qingying’s nominal fiancé and descendant of the former general Xia Qianze.

“Skilled at daydreaming, useless at everything else.”

Yu Miaohua: “…”

Clearly, Wen Qingying held no affection for this so-called betrothed.

“He cultivated several body doubles… all chosen by Elder Hu. The elder once saw you.”

The pieces clicked together for Yu Miaohua.

“But even if they replaced me, what then?”

Wen Qingying explained, “They had a backup plan. If the doubles bore children, they’d maneuver the offspring onto the throne.”

Yu Miaohua was speechless—these people’s ideas were far too naive. Pei Lingyue wasn’t without other heirs—did they really plan to assassinate the Crown Prince and the rest?

“Another goal is to use them to plant spies in the palace, coordinating from within and without to find a way to bring you out.”

[As expected, they’re after my identity as the Divine Maiden again.]

Her status as the Divine Maiden came with its own buff—in the eyes of these rebel forces, she was the unattainable white moonlight, the cinnabar stain they longed for.

Wen Qingying had initially wanted to say that in Xia Fangzhou’s eyes, someone like Yu Miaohua was the only one worthy of him. But the words rolled in her throat before she swallowed them back. Best not to say it and disgust Yu Miaohua.

Though Yu Miaohua didn’t catch this implication, Pei Chiyan guessed part of it.

A cold, disdainful voice came from his direction.

“They really are daydreaming.”

[Even the Crown Prince is disgusted by them.]

[This time, we can wipe them all out in one go!]

Yu Miaohua thought to herself.

She turned to Wen Qingying. “What do you want to do in the future?”

Having learned most of what she needed about the White Lotus Sect, Yu Miaohua was now more interested in Wen Qingying herself.

“You’re asking me?” The best outcome for her would probably be Great Qi granting her a noble title and keeping her in comfortable retirement, wouldn’t it?

After a moment’s thought, she said, “Your emperor wouldn’t be so stingy as to deny me a title, right?”

Yu Miaohua replied, “What I mean is—do you have any interests? Like music, chess, calligraphy, painting… or perhaps teaching?” She then added, “If you’d rather stay at home, that’s fine too.”

Staying home was also a way of life.

Wen Qingying seemed to understand Yu Miaohua’s meaning. After some consideration, she said, “Once we reach the capital, could you lend me some medical texts?”

That was the only thing that interested her. When she was younger, she had once told the elders she wanted to study medicine. Her mother had died in childbirth, and the nursemaid who doted on her had contracted a disease from her husband and passed away in agony.

But the elders had insisted her status was too noble for such “unrefined” pursuits. She could only study in secret, with Wei Ning sneaking books for her.

Yu Miaohua’s eyes lit up. “Of course! I have a complete set of the Compendium of Women’s Medicine—you can have it all.”

That reward had long since been retrieved, and even the imperial physicians were studying its contents. Now, the emperor wanted to train female doctors—after all, certain women’s ailments required female practitioners—but they hadn’t yet found a suitable leader for the initiative.

If things went as expected, Wen Qingying would at least be granted the title of a commandery princess, a status that would deter most dissenters. And since she was interested in the field, she was practically the chosen leader.

“Once you’ve mastered those texts, would you be willing to take on female disciples?”

Wen Qingying was momentarily stunned by her enthusiasm. “Me?”

“Yes! I think we could even establish a few schools for women. You’d be their teacher!”

“You really think I could do it?”

“You have the desire, don’t you? Give it a try. If you put in the effort and it still doesn’t work out, we can find someone else.”

Wen Qingying’s expression softened. “I understand.”

As they talked, they arrived in Xiazhou City and picked up Wei Ning.

Yu Miaohua observed the lifelike blemishes Wei Ning had painted on her face and couldn’t help but marvel inwardly: This one’s a makeup artist too.

Before leaving, Wei Ning had drugged everyone in the residence, leaving them unconscious. The guards had tied them up and gagged them.

Lu Lingyun led a detachment to the Xiazhou commander to mobilize the local garrison.

The Xiazhou prefect had colluded with the White Lotus Sect, so this was the perfect opportunity to arrest him and send him to the capital.

Meanwhile, Yu Miaohua’s group continued toward the opera stage where Xia Fangzhou was stationed.

The stage was packed with spectators—there was no way to push through.

Yu Miaohua opened an umbrella in advance. She had exchanged for the Dragon King’s skill.

……

Xia Fangzhou, Elder Hu, and the others had been standing onstage for two days now.

The day before yesterday, Xia Fangzhou had addressed the crowd of believers below, proclaiming that they were the incarnations of the White Lotus Holy Mother, walking among mortals to save them.

They shared the people’s suffering… To deliver them from the drought’s devastation, they would sacrifice their lives. The Holy Mother had decreed that within seven days, rain would fall. Until then, they would neither eat nor drink.

Some in the audience believed them; others did not.

No matter. Reality would force them all to submit.

Of course, Xia Fangzhou and his companions weren’t actually fasting. Whenever the crowd thinned—usually when people lined up for porridge—their allies would stir up a distraction, allowing them to sneak sips of water and nibble on sugar.

They estimated that Yu Miaohua’s group wouldn’t take long to travel from Jiangzhou to Xiazhou. The rain would come soon.

“It’s been days—will it really rain?”

“It will. If they hadn’t received divine revelation, how could they dare make such a claim?”

“If it doesn’t rain soon, I won’t even have water to drink. When will this torment end?”

“If it rains, I’ll become the White Lotus Holy Mother’s most devout follower!”

“They haven’t eaten for days—how are their bodies holding up? My daughter-in-law says they’re frauds, but if they were, why go this far? I’ve already donated all my savings to them.”

The stage was surrounded by a sea of people, all pointing and murmuring.

Xia Fangzhou listened to the chatter, a faint smile on his lips.

Those who doubted him would soon be proven wrong.

Hurry up and come, Yu Miaohua, he thought eagerly.

Boom—

Xia Fangzhou froze. Was he hallucinating from hunger?

Had he just heard thunder?

Boom—

Another deafening peal, as if the earth itself were being torn apart.

The skies darkened in an instant, the horizon swallowed by an inky curtain.

It was really going to rain!

So Yu Miaohua had entered the city?

They stared dumbfounded at the heavens.

Patter, patter, patter…

The downpour came without warning. Those who hadn’t closed their mouths in time gulped down mouthfuls of rainwater.

It was raining!

This was the Divine Maiden’s power—the unbridgeable chasm between mortals and the divine.

Amid the shock, a sliver of fear crept into Xia Fangzhou’s heart.

Could they truly steal the glory meant for the Divine Maiden?

Would the gods punish them?

“Ahhh! It’s raining!”

“Long live the White Lotus Holy Mother!”

“The Holy Mother’s might is boundless!”

The crowd erupted into frenzy, leaping and dancing in the rain. In that moment, their faith and reverence for the White Lotus Holy Mother soared to its zenith.

After the lively commotion, one of the commoners couldn't help but kneel down, gazing fervently at Xia Fangzhou and the others on the stage.

Where there was one, others followed.

Soon, everyone knelt, chanting in unison, "The White Lotus Holy Mother's power is boundless!"

The cheers jolted Xia Fangzhou awake, and he took in the sight of the crowd prostrating before him.

Their eyes burned with fanaticism—at this moment, if he willed it, a single word from him could drive these people to die for him, to charge into battle on his behalf.

He was their god.

A heady sense of pride swelled within him, visions flashing before his eyes—leading his followers to overthrow Great Qi, ascending the throne as emperor.

All would bow before him, shouting, "Long live the emperor!"

"Hahaha…"

He couldn’t hold back his laughter, his earlier worries vanishing without a trace.

They had seized the credit first.

Even if Yu Miaohua appeared before them now, the people wouldn’t believe her.

A silver serpent of lightning streaked across the sky, illuminating his face.

Xia Fangzhou glanced toward the crowd below, his brow furrowing slightly as displeasure stirred in his heart.

In the distance, a group of people had appeared—too far for him to make out their faces.

Why weren’t they kneeling?

Just as he was about to speak, more lightning crackled overhead, thunder rumbling as if ready to strike him down at any moment.

A sudden, overwhelming sense of dread gripped him.

The next instant, a monstrous bolt of lightning split the sky.

No!

It was coming for him!

The thought flashed through his mind, fear of death urging him to flee.

But it was too late.

The thunderbolt struck Xia Fangzhou and the other White Lotus Elders directly, the searing pain wrenching agonized screams from their throats.

["Those who steal credit—shall die!"]

A commanding voice boomed from the heavens. Despite the deafening rain, every word rang clear in the ears of the crowd, as if whispered directly to them.

The lightning continued to flicker and crackle, illuminating the charred bodies on the stage. Other White Lotus followers tried to flee, only to be struck down one by one.

The crowd below was stunned into silence.

Their divine envoys, their saviors… had just been struck by lightning before their very eyes!

"What happened? Why were they struck?"

"Are you deaf? Didn’t you hear? The heavens couldn’t stand their deceit—that’s why they were smited!"

"They stole the credit! The rain wasn’t their doing—they’re frauds! We’ve been tricked!"

In this era, being struck by lightning was seen as the mark of unforgivable sin.

"Damn it, I actually believed them!"

"These wretched liars! There’s no White Lotus Holy Mother—if there were, wouldn’t She have protected Her own disciples?"

"Curse these swindlers! Give us back our hard-earned money!"

The kneeling crowd rose to their feet, hurling curses at Xia Fangzhou and the others on stage.

Some even clamored to rush up and beat the deceitful scoundrels senseless.

"Ouch! Who’s shoving? Stop pushing!"

A thin man grumbled, turning to see a sword strapped to the person beside him.

He immediately shut his mouth.

The imperial court forbade commoners from carrying blades in public—only officials dared to wear swords openly.

Their identities were unmistakable.

The authorities had arrived!

Not just him, but others quickly made way.

Hmm… that tall figure in the center—why was he dressed in women’s robes? Some noble’s child, perhaps?

The crowd lingered, eager to see what would happen next.

"Help… save us…"

Xia Fangzhou and the others were scorched and bleeding, every inch of their bodies wracked with pain. Beyond the agony, a numbing, crawling sensation—like thousands of ants—spread through their limbs. They wanted to escape, but even twitching a finger was impossible, let alone walking.

How had it come to this?

Their moment of glory had lasted less than an incense stick’s time before they were cast from the heavens into the abyss.

Regret gnawed at them.

His instincts had been right—Yu Miaohua’s credit wasn’t something to be stolen. She must be the heavens’ favored daughter, spared even the slightest injustice.

But it was too late for remorse.

The people would never believe them again. What would they do now?

Beat them to a pulp and drag them to the magistrate?

Xia Fangzhou and the others could only hope the prefect would let them go, given the bribes they’d handed over earlier. As long as they lived, there was still a chance to rebuild.

The name "White Lotus" was ruined, but they could always start a new sect.

Xia Fangzhou thought of his bedridden fiancée, Wen Qingying—how fortunate she’d been to avoid this disaster. Had she been here, she’d have been struck too. After this, their reputations would plummet. Maybe he could prop her up first? She loved him so much—even if he elevated her, she’d eventually yield power back to him.

Lost in his thoughts, he struggled to open his eyes.

Someone was approaching—was it the furious crowd?

The heavy rain blurred their vision, making it impossible to see clearly.

All he could discern was a tall figure… in women’s attire.

Women’s robes?

So it really was Yu Miaohua?

Xia Fangzhou forced out a plea, his voice ragged. "Is it… the Divine Maiden?"

"Divine Maiden, I was wrong. I shouldn’t have stolen your credit. It was all Elder Lu’s idea—he pressured me into it!"

Given the severity of their crime—usurping the Divine Maiden’s merit—they’d surely be executed if caught. Survival instincts drove Xia Fangzhou to pin all blame on the other Elders.

The one mistaken for the Divine Maiden—His Highness the Crown Prince—remained silent.

The guards beside him nearly dropped their swords in shock.

"Bullshit! It was your plan from the start!" Elder Lu, previously playing dead, refused to take the fall. "You said the Divine Maiden wouldn’t abandon Xiazhou—that rain would come soon. If we announced it first, we could claim all the credit. Even if she told the truth later, no one would believe her."

Of course, they still had enough sense left not to reveal their identities as remnants of the previous dynasty.

"This was your scheme—I had nothing to do with it! You even told me that after the Divine Maiden went to Jiangzhou, rain followed!"

Xia Fangzhou and Elder Lu hurled accusations at each other on stage, while the other Elders stayed silent, desperate to avoid blame.

Let them fight—just don’t drag us into it.

The crowd erupted in outrage.

The name "Yu Miaohua, the Divine Maiden" was legendary—the moment "Divine Maiden" was mentioned, she was the first to come to mind.

So it was she who had saved them! And these vile White Lotus frauds had dared to steal her glory!

Damnable thieves and liars!

They craned their necks, trying to catch a glimpse of the Goddess’s face—yet she stood with her back to them, revealing only her silhouette.

“The Goddess is so tall, even taller than the officials beside her. She looks so dependable,” an elderly woman remarked, turning to her granddaughter. “Eat more so you can grow as tall as her one day.”

“I will, Grandma,” the girl replied.

After waiting for Elder Lu and Xia Fangzhou to tear into each other, Pei Chiyan finally spoke, his voice measured. “Xia Fangzhou, Lu Wantu, Qu Nan…” He recited each elder’s name one by one.

Xia Fangzhou froze. That was a man’s voice? So this wasn’t the Goddess? Who was he? How did he know their names?

Pei Chiyan let out a soft, mocking laugh, the sound drowned by the rain. The downpour soaked his clothes. “Remnants of the fallen dynasty?”

A bone-chilling dread swept over the members of the White Lotus Sect—their identities had been exposed!

...

Below the stage, Yu Miaohua, sheltered under an umbrella, was nearly doubled over with laughter.

Hahaha!

Pei Chiyan had been mistaken for her because of his disguise. What were these people thinking?

[Congratulations, Host, for completing Main Mission 4.7: Exposing the White Lotus Sect’s deceitful nature before the public, ensuring they are scorned by the people. Rewards have been issued.]

The system’s voice dripped with smugness. That line—“Those who falsely claim credit shall die!”—had been its own addition, the voice meticulously selected from countless options in its database to mimic the most imposing tone of the Heavenly Emperor. The effect, as it turned out, had been spectacular.

As Yu Miaohua observed the remnants of the fallen dynasty on stage, an idea struck her.

[System, can you reconstruct their original appearances?]

Xia Fangzhou and the others had been charred black by lightning, their features indistinguishable.

[Easy. Consider it done.]

[Then try tracing back further—reconstruct their ancestors’ likenesses. Use those as a basis to edit scenes of them suffering in the Eighteen Hells, so the world can see the fate of Emperor Min’ai and his treacherous ministers.]

So they wanted to restore the dynasty? She’d make sure their reputations were dragged through the mud instead.

If hell truly existed, then Emperor Min’ai—who had hunted children with special destinies for sacrificial rituals in his quest for immortality—deserved nothing less than rebirth in the animal realm. And even that would be too merciful.

[Of course, if you can’t fully reconstruct them, a rough approximation will do. It’s not like they’ve ever seen their ancestors’ faces anyway.]

If she declared these figures to be the fallen emperor and his lackeys, then so they would be—unless Emperor Min’ai rose from the grave to object.

She was going to project this footage for all to see!