"Ahh, Host! Hurry to the Plum Garden! The emperor is there right now! If you miss this chance, who knows when you’ll get another opportunity to 'accidentally' run into him. Quickly freshen up and get ready!"
Yu Miaohua ignored the frantic voice in her head, happily showing off the eggplant she had just picked to her system.
"Look, System, at this perfect roundness, this jewel-like glossy purple—this is absolutely the king of eggplants! And it’s all thanks to my own hands. Tonight’s dinner is settled—I’ll have Cuiwei make stir-fried eggplant with string beans."
"Host, don’t make me beg on my knees. Forget about that eggplant! Completing the palace intrigue mission is what matters!"
"Relax, let me pick the best string beans first. Only the most flawless ones deserve to share the pot with my eggplant."
Yu Miaohua calmly brushed off the palace intrigue system’s nagging in her mind, expertly giving it the "read but reply randomly" treatment.
Yu Miaohua had entered the palace this past February. She had no idea who she’d offended, but within half a month, the orchid she gifted to Consort De was found to be laced with poison. A matching vial of poison was then discovered in her own quarters, and her maid Yuzhu testified against her, claiming she had poisoned Consort De out of jealousy. With both witnesses and evidence stacked against her, Yu Miaohua was stripped of her rank as a Talented Lady, demoted to commoner status, and banished to the cold palace.
Misfortune never comes alone. The harsh conditions of the cold palace soon left her bedridden with a high fever. If not for the unwavering loyalty of her two maids, who spent their savings to summon a imperial physician, she would have died there.
The ordeal also awakened memories of her past life in the modern world—and with it, any desire to compete for the emperor’s favor vanished entirely. Even with the wisdom of a second life, she knew her IQ and EQ hadn’t magically improved. Palace intrigue was a game for the sharpest minds, and she wanted no part in it.
The cold palace wasn’t so bad. It was peaceful, the air was fresh, and it came with a spacious courtyard—practically a luxury villa by her past life’s standards. Even if she had worked herself to the bone in her previous life, she could never have afforded such a place in the capital.
So Yu Miaohua embraced her new life of leisure, turning the cold palace into her personal farm with her two maids.
They cleared out empty rooms to raise chickens and transformed the courtyard into a vegetable garden, planting eggplants, string beans, and other crops.
For rice and seasonings, they traded eggs. The imperial kitchen, unwilling to bother cooking for a disgraced concubine, was happy to withhold part of her rations and deliver the rest to her directly.
By the time the courtyard was lush with vegetables and the chickens had grown plump and started laying eggs… the palace intrigue system appeared.
"Host, charge forward! Complete my missions, and you’ll trample noble consorts, kick down empresses—becoming a virtuous empress is within your grasp!"
"First, our goal is to leave the cold palace, meet the emperor, and clear your name. Complete this mission, and you’ll receive seeds for triple-harvest rice. Promotion and riches are just around the corner!"
Yu Miaohua shook her head at the memory of the system’s enthusiastic pitch. She wasn’t biting. Life was good as it was. If she went seeking the emperor now, she might lose even the cold palace.
After picking two more eggplants, she moved on to the string beans.
"Host, stop obsessing over those beans! All you do is eat, eat, eat! Don’t you want to be a legendary virtuous empress?"
"At the very least, aim for favored consort status!"
"If you don’t go to the Plum Garden now, the emperor will leave!"
"Ahhh! He’s in a good mood today—he’d actually listen to you! This chance won’t come again!"
"Waaah, he’s already gone! Three months, and we haven’t completed a single mission! You’re the worst host I’ve ever had! I’ll never forgive you! Never!"
The system’s whining was too much. Yu Miaohua expertly muted it, restoring peace to her mind.
She hadn’t meant to bind with the palace intrigue system in the first place. It had appeared while she was half-asleep, and she’d absentmindedly agreed, thinking it was a dream. Now she was stuck with it.
Yu Miaohua walked to another patch of soil, plucking a handful of garlic shoots. "Qingluo, I want stir-fried eggplant and string beans for dinner."
Her two maids, Qingluo and Cuiwei, were skilled in their own ways—one excelled in embroidery and sewing, the other was a talented cook.
Qingluo cheerfully agreed. "What else would you like, miss? Steamed eggs? Or stir-fried cucumber with eggs?"
Just then, Cuiwei walked in from the courtyard, carrying a basket. "How about chicken stew with mushrooms? I picked some fresh ones today."
The recipe for chicken stew with mushrooms had been taught to Qingluo by Yu Miaohua—though she only knew the theory. If she cooked it herself, the taste would be… questionable.
Though banished to Jinhua Palace (the cold palace), Yu Miaohua wasn’t confined to its walls. The area had no guards, and the nearby orchard was open for exploration. There was even a dog hole in one wall—likely dug by a previous disgraced concubine—that led straight to the orchard.
Yu Miaohua’s mood brightened. "Then tonight’s menu is stir-fried eggplant with string beans, chicken stew with mushrooms—and let’s add some vermicelli and cabbage too."
They had over a dozen chickens. Sacrificing one for dinner was no issue.
She inspected Cuiwei’s mushrooms—all safe, edible varieties. Her past life in the countryside had given her plenty of experience foraging.
Qingluo took the vegetables and mushrooms to wash, while Cuiwei settled down with an embroidery frame to stitch handkerchiefs. These could be traded for supplies—winter was approaching, and the cold palace’s thin, cotton-stuffed quilts wouldn’t be enough. More handkerchiefs meant more rabbit pelts for warmth.
Yu Miaohua offered to help, but her maids shooed her away, insisting she rest after her "hard work" picking vegetables.
Yu Miaohua: "…"
Fine. Time for some "TV."
She retreated to her room, where an herbal sachet—Cuiwei’s handiwork—hung from the bed canopy, filling the air with the scent of mugwort.
Picking up a well-worn storybook from the shelf (its pages dog-eared from countless readings), she flipped to a random page and pretended to be engrossed—a cover for releasing the system from its timeout.
Come to think of it, she hadn’t checked in today.
She tapped the virtual "sign-in" button, and a notification popped up:
"You have signed in for 92 consecutive days. Reward: 9 points."
Yu Miaohua was satisfied.
Compared to the main quest, the check-in points were just a drop in the bucket, but they were more than enough for her needs. The points from check-ins usually ranged from 1 to 10, and she had pretty good luck—most of the time, she got over 5 points. These points could be used to buy things from the mall.
Detox pills, beauty pills, longevity pills that added ten years to one’s lifespan… these items were all expensive, costing over a thousand points. But entertainment options were much cheaper.
For example, a manga only cost two points, a novel one point, and a TV series three points.
"I will never forgive you, you heartless, ungrateful woman! I’ve seen through you. You’ve lost my love, and I’ll never smile while exchanging goods for you again! You’ll never know what a precious thing you’ve lost!"
The system, which she had just released from the "blacklist," was clearly full of resentment toward her.
Imagining the system coldly exchanging goods for her made Yu Miaohua want to laugh, but if she did, the system would probably get even angrier.
"Ahem, come on, System, don’t be mad. The emperor’s already left, and the quest can’t be done anytime soon. If you keep sulking, you might short-circuit yourself. No one’s going to take care of you if you get sick from anger, you know?"
It wasn’t the brightest to begin with—if it short-circuited, it’d become even dumber.
The system grew even angrier: And whose fault is it that I’m like this?! This woman had zero awareness that she was the root cause of all its suffering!
"How about this—I’ll give you four of my points today."
Yu Miaohua said generously.
After all, a single TV series could keep her entertained for days. Sharing a few points with the system wasn’t a big deal. Poor thing—it really was unlucky to end up with a slacker like her as its host.
The system swiftly deducted four points.
"This was your idea, not mine. I’m not that easy to appease. I’m still mad."
"Mhm, mhm."
Yu Miaohua opened the TV series library, and the overwhelming variety left her dazzled.
"System, help me filter out the ones with toxic relationships, angsty love stories, male leads who are ‘nice guys’ to everyone, or harem tropes…"
She listed a bunch of conditions. Last time, she’d picked a drama where the male lead’s family had wiped out the female lead’s entire clan, yet after he apologized, she forgave him just like that. They ended up together and even had twins. That had pissed Yu Miaohua off so much she couldn’t sleep all night, regretting the time she’d wasted on that garbage.
The palace intrigue system, expressionless, filtered out over two hundred series according to her demands.
Yu Miaohua browsed through them one by one and finally settled on a fluffy time-travel romance to watch.
Living in a mansion spanning hundreds of square meters, raising chickens, growing vegetables, and binge-watching TV series every day with the system—wasn’t this the leisurely, carefree retirement life she’d dreamed of in her past life?
So it was only natural that she lacked motivation to complete quests, right?
The series she picked featured a female lead who was a master chef. After time-traveling, she won the male lead’s heart first through his stomach, then with her charm. It followed the classic "bickering leads turn lovers" trope.
Watching the female lead whip up one delicious dish after another, Yu Miaohua’s mouth watered.
That pear-stir-fried chicken looked absolutely mouthwatering. She’d never seen that cooking method before.
She already had chicken and mushrooms—all she needed were pears.
The orchard did have pear trees, and it was currently peak season. Yu Miaohua had gone picking with Qingluo before, but the pears were so sour she couldn’t even finish one and ended up tossing it. Sour pears would actually be perfect for cooking.
She could also exchange for chili seedlings from the mall and later tell Cuiwei and the others she’d found them in the orchard.
No helping it—she’d been craving spicy food for ages! A single chili seedling cost 100 points, but she was willing to splurge. She’d barely used her points before, so she could afford it!
A woman of action, Yu Miaohua immediately set out to make it happen. When Cuiwei and Qingluo saw her heading out, they asked where she was going.
Yu Miaohua waved them off. "Just tend to your own tasks. I’m going to pick some pears."
She’d been to the orchard several times before. It was usually deserted, with no dangerous animals—just the occasional mouse or bird. Cuiwei and the others weren’t worried about her running into trouble.
Yu Miaohua slipped through the dog hole with practiced ease and wandered around until she spotted the pear trees.
Dammit! After not visiting for a while, she realized the pears on the lower branches had all been picked. She’d have to climb higher.
Yu Miaohua scrambled up the tree, arms and legs working in tandem. Since she hadn’t climbed trees in this lifetime, it was trickier than expected.
Climb. Fall. Fail.
Second attempt—fail.
Third attempt—fail.
…
Undeterred, she cheered herself on: "Only food earned through hardship can be cooked into the most delicious dishes! Let’s go!"
The system muttered drily from the sidelines.
"If you put even half this effort into completing quests, you’d have already left the cold palace and become the emperor’s favorite consort by now."
Yu Miaohua pretended not to hear and kept trying.
Victory!
This time, she finally succeeded.
Sitting on the branch, Yu Miaohua swelled with pride. After such a struggle to get up here, she was determined to pick as many pears as possible—she could always pickle the extras if she couldn’t finish them all.
She busily stuffed pears into her sack when the system suddenly let out a thunderous "HOLY SHT!"
"HOLY SHT!!"
"Host! The emperor’s coming to the orchard! Instead of the imperial garden, the peach orchard, or the exotic animal park, he had to come HERE of all places! This is what they call ‘two hearts beating as one’!"
"Host, your bond with the emperor is clearly written in the stars! No matter how hard you try to avoid it, fate won’t let you escape!"
"Quick! Host, go for it!"
The system was so worked up it wished it could take over and kick its host out of the tree to complete the quest itself.
Yu Miaohua’s face paled. She turned and, sure enough, saw a group of people approaching in the distance.
What the hell?! she cursed inwardly. The palace was enormous, and the emperor had countless places to stroll—why did he have to come to the orchard now? She’d never even heard of him visiting this place before!
Was there still time to flee?
She dismissed the thought almost immediately.
No, if she climbed down now, she’d definitely be spotted—and might even get stabbed as an assassin. She wasn’t confident she could descend successfully in one go either.
She scanned her surroundings, shifting to a spot where thick foliage completely concealed her.
Perfect. As long as she stayed silent, the emperor would never notice her! Her hiding spot was excellent—the dense leaves covered her thoroughly.
"Host, what are you doing?! Why are you hiding now? If you keep slacking off like this, I swear I’ll cry."
Yu Miaohua remained merciless.
"Go ahead and cry, then."
She held her breath, staying perfectly still.
The group drew nearer.
Yu Miaohua instinctively stopped breathing and even closed her eyes. Some people were sensitive to being watched—better not risk it.
Just keep walking, she willed. Don’t linger near this tree!
The next moment, Yu Miaohua heard a stern voice.
"Who's up in that tree?"
Yu Miaohua's eyes flew open—Holy crap, is the emperor's eyesight that sharp?
The system's gloating voice chimed in.
[Stop struggling! You can’t escape. Go on, hide—see if I care!]
[Hahaha, here comes the main quest—Main Quest 1.1: Serendipitously encounter the emperor, clear your name, and win his pity. Reward: Triple-cropping Champa rice seeds.]
The system’s triumphant laughter echoed in Yu Miaohua’s mind.
...
Emperor Pei Lingyue halted three zhang away from the pear tree.
Was he seeing things? Why did it look like lines of text were floating out of that tree?
"Who's up in that tree?"
A spirit? A monster?
