Serious Slouch, Zen Harem Battle

Chapter 1

After the Mid-Autumn Festival, the weather in the capital gradually turned cooler.

Just as the hour of mao (5-7 AM) arrived, the gates of Yanqing Residence in Changchun Palace swung open. A plump little eunuch covered his mouth to stifle a yawn, stretched lazily, then straightened his posture and stood rigidly by the entrance.

Less than a quarter of an hour later, a maid of average height emerged, a crimson sweat towel tied around her waist.

The eunuch’s face broke into a smile.

"Sister Lianwu, are you off to the kitchen to fetch breakfast?"

Lianwu nodded, then frowned slightly. "Today is the Eldest Prince’s third-day celebration. The kitchens will surely prioritize Chengqian Palace."

The Emperor’s firstborn son, born to Concubine Shu—naturally, the celebration would be grand.

Xiao Li’s smile didn’t waver. "No need to worry, sister. Our mistress is kind-hearted; she won’t blame you."

Lianwu fell silent. It wasn’t fear of reprimand that troubled her—she was worried her mistress wouldn’t eat her fill.

The mistress of Yanqing Residence, Qi Daiyu, had the gentlest temperament, but when it came to food, she was unusually particular. If the meal wasn’t to her liking, her mood would sour. And Qi Daiyu had the delicate beauty of a flower reflected in water, the fragile grace of a willow swaying in the breeze. A mere furrow of her brows evoked such pitiable charm that one would gladly offer their heart to console her.

By now, they were already running later than usual. Lianwu wasted no more time and hurried toward the kitchens.

Meanwhile, inside Yanqing Residence, the maid Shiliu quietly lifted the bed curtains and pressed a warm cloth to the forehead of the woman lying there. "Mistress, it’s time to wake up."

The warm dampness spread, and the woman’s brows knitted slightly. A faint blush crept from her neck to her ears as she instinctively leaned into the heat. Following the retreating cloth, Qi Daiyu sat up and finally opened her eyes.

Still dazed, it took her a few seconds to register her surroundings.

She took the cloth from Shiliu and vigorously wiped her face.

Now fully awake.

Shiliu watched her mistress’s rough, careless movements, her lips parting slightly. She ached for that delicate face, but under the weight of authority, she dared not speak.

Qi Daiyu slipped out of bed, draped an outer robe over her shoulders, then rinsed her mouth, washed her face, and combed her hair.

By the time she counted to three hundred, Lianwu returned with breakfast.

The dining area was in another room. When Qi Daiyu arrived, Lianwu had already set the table.

"Most of the kitchen staff were reassigned today. They were severely understaffed. I had to fight with Jingren Palace just to get these," Lianwu said, handing Qi Daiyu her chopsticks.

Bamboo-steamed buns, chicken and marrow soup, sugared lotus root, crystal shrimp dumplings, twice-fried fresh fish, and bird’s nest soup.

The spread looked plentiful, but the plates were tiny—the so-called "crystal shrimp dumplings" numbered only six, each no bigger than a thumb.

Qi Daiyu usually followed a health-conscious diet, eating just two-thirds of her meal. But today was an important day—she couldn’t afford an empty stomach.

She ate slowly, adhering to her personal philosophy: first taste, then savor, then chew. Even the number of chews was strictly regulated.

Lianwu watched silently, counting in her head. At forty-eight chews, Qi Daiyu finally swallowed the dumpling, and Lianwu exhaled in relief.

Qi Daiyu ate at her leisure, oblivious to the anxiety she caused. In this era, she was the mistress—no servant could correct her. Instead, they marveled: No wonder she’s the mistress. Such refinement!

But truthfully, Qi Daiyu wasn’t doing it on purpose.

She was scrolling through her phone.

Checking her phone upon waking, during meals—these were daily rituals for a modern woman.

The holographic screen before her was invisible to everyone else. To onlookers, Qi Daiyu simply ate with serene elegance. Little did they know she was mechanically chewing while engrossed in celebrity gossip.

The male idol she’d followed before transmigrating had been exposed in a scandal. Unhappy…

She could browse but not comment, let alone rage-post. Even more unhappy…

"Enough, take it away," Qi Daiyu waved dismissively, too upset to eat.

As expected—today’s meal didn’t suit the mistress’s taste! Lianwu and Shiliu exchanged glances. Shiliu shook her head slightly, signaling Lianwu to clear the table while she guided Qi Daiyu back to the inner chamber.

The hairdressing maid, Pingguo, followed them in.

Seeing Qi Daiyu close her eyes, clearly unwilling to speak, Pingguo’s combing motions grew even gentler.

Shiliu whispered, "Concubine Shu has always been the Emperor’s favorite. Now that she’s borne the Eldest Prince, the palace sycophants will flock to Chengqian Palace. But don’t take it to heart, mistress. With the Empress overseeing things, no one would dare slight Yanqing Residence."

Qi Daiyu was busy upvoting posts bashing the disgraced idol.

Shiliu continued, "As for Concubine Miao of Jingren Palace—she’s even less of a concern. Back in the Eastern Palace, when you both served as ladies, she flaunted her favor and looked down on you. But times have changed. Now you’re a concubine, and she’s just a beauty. She ought to show you respect."

Qi Daiyu scrolled through more insider tea, her heart aching with regret.

Shiliu: "…" Oh no. The mistress is truly upset this time.

The next moment, both Shiliu and Pingguo dropped to their knees.

"Mistress, please don’t let anger harm your health!"

The sudden movement startled Qi Daiyu. She quickly replayed Shiliu’s words in her mind and urged them to rise.

"I’m fine, really!" This kneel-happy era was unbearable.

When Shiliu still looked skeptical, Qi Daiyu sighed. "I was just thinking—Concubine Shu, favored and now with a son, must grieve the Empress. Once the third-day banquet ends, I’ll visit Kunning Palace to keep Her Majesty company."

Only then, seeing no trace of anger in her expression, did the maids rise.

Pingguo resumed styling her hair while Shiliu selected jewelry.

"The mistress should indeed visit Kunning Palace more often."

Qi Daiyu dared not return to her phone. Instead, she studied the woman in the mirror.

The reflection bore no resemblance to her original self, which still unsettled her. At least the face was beautiful—pleasant to look at.

Just… painfully fragile.

A delicate oval face, slender arched brows, and pale skin. Add a shimmer of tears, and she’d be the spitting image of a consumptive beauty.

Yet in truth, she wasn’t sick at all.

Simply born with the constitution of Lin Daiyu.

Back in her past life, she’d been teased as "Qi Daiyu" due to her name, so she’d bulked up at the gym. Who knew transmigration would land her in a body even more delicate than Daiyu’s?

Qi Daiyu had crossed over a month ago.

It took her three days to sort through the original host’s memories.

The original Qi Daiyu was the daughter of a minor eighth-rank official. Three years prior, while the late Emperor still ruled, she’d been selected as a lady for the then-unmarried Crown Prince due to her striking beauty.

One could say her luck was extraordinary.

Within three months of entering the Eastern Palace, the old Emperor passed away. The Crown Prince ascended the throne, and his consorts became imperial concubines.

But alas, the original host wasn’t the Crown Prince’s type. In those three months, she’d served him only twice—so briefly he couldn’t recall her name.

Under normal circumstances, during the post-coronation conferment of titles, she’d have been lucky to receive the rank of Talented Lady based on her "service in the household before accession."

Yet fate had other plans.

When the old emperor passed away, the Crown Princess—now the Empress—was heavily pregnant. Not only did she have to manage numerous affairs, but she also had to kneel daily to keep vigil, leaving her utterly exhausted. It was the dead of winter, and amid the icy snow, the Empress slipped unnoticed—

The original host of Qi Daiyu's body happened to be nearby. Before anyone could react, she threw herself forward to cushion the Empress's fall.

Thanks to this buffer, though the Empress went into premature labor, both mother and daughter were unharmed.

Because of this incident, the Empress believed the original host was pure-hearted and kind. When it came time to confer titles, she elevated the original host's rank, granting her the title of Jieyu (a mid-level imperial consort).

From then on, the Empress also shielded the original host on multiple occasions. Even though she never gained the emperor's favor, no palace servant dared to slight her.

Just as Qi Daiyu was lost in thought, a voice sounded outside her chambers—it was Lanyi, the Empress's attendant.

"Her Majesty is concerned that with so many affairs occupying the palace these days, the Imperial Hospital might neglect its duties. She instructed this servant to deliver Jieyu's monthly medicine in advance."

Qi Daiyu sent Shiliu to greet her.

Lanyi entered and handed over the medicinal herbs, then carefully observed Qi Daiyu's complexion.

"Jieyu does indeed appear much healthier now. When this servant reports back to Her Majesty, she will surely be relieved."

Qi Daiyu: "..."

It was all because of that incident. While the original host had cushioned the Empress's fall, she herself had suffered severe injuries—damaged organs and a wounded back—confining her to bed for over two years. It wasn’t until Qi Daiyu transmigrated into the body that she fully recovered.

Thus, her recent movements around the palace had only begun this month.

But the Empress clearly wasn’t convinced she had truly healed, hence sending Lanyi with medicine—and to assess her condition. Had she appeared unwell, Lanyi would likely have barred her from attending the banquet.

"This humble one thanks Her Majesty for her care."

Qi Daiyu also offered to serve tea to Lanyi.

A high-ranking maid serving the Empress held more influence than a low-ranking consort. As a mere Jieyu, it was only proper to show respect.

Lanyi declined with a smile. "This servant must return to report and dare not impose."

Noticing Qi Daiyu hadn’t yet changed into her banquet attire, she added, as if offering a suggestion, "Jieyu’s makeup today would pair beautifully with blue."

Qi Daiyu’s heart stirred, and she smiled in agreement.

Once Lanyi left, Shiliu asked, "The Imperial Household Department recently delivered a qingshan-blue gown. Does my lady wish to wear it?"

Qi ​​‌‌​‌‌​​​‌‌‌​​‌​​‌‌​​​​​‌‌​​​‌​​‌‌​​‌​‌​​‌‌​​‌‌​‌‌​​‌‌​​‌‌​​​‌​​​‌‌​‌‌​​​‌‌​‌​​​​‌‌‌​​‌​‌‌​​‌​​​​‌‌​​‌‌​​‌‌​​‌‌​​‌‌​​​‌​​‌‌​​​​​​‌‌​‌​‌​​‌‌​‌​​​​‌‌​‌​​​​‌‌​​‌​​​‌‌​‌‌​​‌‌​​‌‌​​‌‌​​‌‌​​‌‌​​‌‌​‍Daiyu shook her head.

Shiliu was puzzled. "Since Lanyi-jie said so, it must be the Empress’s intention. Why would my lady refuse...?"

Precisely because it was the Empress’s intention, she wouldn’t wear it.

Due to the past incident, the Empress had sheltered the original host under her wing, offering constant care. While the original host was bedridden, the Empress had monthly physician visits arranged and ensured her medicinal supplies were never lacking. Now that she had recovered, the Empress, pitying her long absence from the emperor’s favor, had reportedly instructed the Imperial Household Department to reinstate her name on the imperial consort roster.

Suggesting she wear blue today was likely because the emperor favored the color—an attempt to draw his attention.

But the problem was, Qi Daiyu had no desire to compete for the emperor’s favor!

Moreover, she couldn’t bear to accept the Empress’s kindness.

The original host had concealed the truth about that day.

She hadn’t thrown herself forward to save the Empress. The icy ground was too slippery, and the original host had also lost her footing. What appeared to be selfless heroism was merely the original host and the Empress slipping simultaneously—with the Empress, weighed down by her pregnancy, falling slower than the lighter original host...

By sheer coincidence, she had saved the Empress and her child. Upon waking, the original host had been too terrified to reveal the truth.

Silence meant the Empress regarded her as a lifesaver, ensuring her protection and care—even without imperial favor, no one dared mistreat her.

Confession might have condemned her to obscurity in the palace, forgotten until death.

Though the original host had ultimately succumbed to illness, leading to Qi Daiyu’s transmigration.

In any case, Qi Daiyu felt too guilty to accept the Empress’s goodwill.