Listening to the admiration in his parents’ voices, even young Lu Huaiyu, who was already displaying an astonishingly high IQ, couldn’t help but get carried away.
Once he started talking, he spilled the whole story without holding anything back.
“Mom, Dad, let me tell you! All the kids at kindergarten are so stupid. They’re ridiculously easy to fool!”
“I went to the kids in the younger class and told them their mommies and daddies didn’t want them anymore. They burst into tears just like that.”
“They cried so loudly that my ears almost went deaf!”
“Then I sneaked over to the middle class and told them I’d seen aliens poison the water we’d just drunk.”
“And there was no antidote, so we were all going to die soon and never see our mommies and daddies again.”
“Then they got scared and started crying. I honestly didn’t expect anyone to believe something like that, let alone cry over it!”
At this point, young Lu Huaiyu’s voice was filled with shock and confusion.
“After they started crying, I went to compete with the kids in the oldest class. I told them I had the best mom and dad in the whole world.”
“They didn’t, so they immediately wanted to compete with me. They said their dads could do anything and were totally omnipotent.”
“So I told them, ‘I’ve seen my dad eat poop, and he ate a whole lot of it!’”
“The kids in the oldest class said their dads had never eaten poop, so they weren’t the greatest dads in the world. They were all terribly disappointed.”
“Then I took the opportunity to say, ‘So all your dads are garbage. That’s why they gave birth to a bunch of little pieces of garbage like you!’”
“‘If you still can’t learn to eat poop, you little garbage heaps will be recycled very soon!’”
“Then they all burst into tears. They cried that they really couldn’t eat it and that they didn’t want to be recycled.”
Young Lu Huaiyu hopped around on the spot, acting out every role as he vividly recounted the entire process of how he had done all those terrible things.
He completely failed to notice Xie Yanxun’s increasingly dark expression and even shamelessly asked to be praised.
After hearing the whole story, Lu Qiwu could only think one thing: this boy was born to be beaten!
She silently patted his little head. “Good boy~ Mommy still has one more document to deal with. Daddy can play with you for a while, okay?”
With that, she turned around and left, giving Xie Yanxun plenty of room to educate their son.
Only then did young Lu Huaiyu realize that something seemed wrong, but by then it was already too late.
From that day on, Lu Huaiyu enjoyed a complete childhood.
When young Lu Huaiyu was five, he grew envious of one of his playmates, who had a very cute little sister as soft and round as a glutinous-rice dumpling.
So he went to ask his mother whether he could kidnap the cutest child in kindergarten and bring her home to be his little sister.
Lu Qiwu told him that kidnapping was against the law. Young Lu Huaiyu’s imagination immediately went wild, and he asked whether he could use money to buy one instead.
Lu Qiwu told him that buying and selling people was also a crime.
Young Lu Huaiyu was deeply disappointed. Then he asked whether it would be okay if he went out and picked up a child instead.
But he was once again told no. Any child who was found had to be handed over to the police, who would return the lost child to their parents.
Young Lu Huaiyu remained disappointed for a long time—until Xie Changyu was born.
He was so excited that he almost wanted to tell the entire world that he had a little brother.
Just how much did he adore young Xie Changyu?
Because he had to go to school, he would have to be separated from young Xie Changyu for an entire day.
After thinking it over and over, young Lu Huaiyu decided to pack up his two-month-old little brother and take him to kindergarten.
It was Old Master Xie who discovered young Lu Huaiyu acting suspiciously. He took the opportunity to trick the truth out of him, and that was how he uncovered his earth-shattering plan.
Lu Qiwu and Xie Yanxun were both exasperated and amused. They had no choice but to patiently explain that his little brother was still too young and couldn’t withstand being handled so roughly.
If he put Xie Changyu in his schoolbag and carried him to kindergarten, the baby could easily get hurt. It was extremely unsafe.
Young Lu Huaiyu immediately realized his mistake and earnestly apologized to young Xie Changyu, who was sitting there foolishly sucking on his fingers.
Hearing his brother’s apology, the little dumpling began grinning foolishly again.
With his chubby cheeks and plump little body, he looked unbelievably cute. Young Lu Huaiyu immediately began doting on him all over again.
By the time young Xie Changyu was two and could talk and run, Lu Huaiyu had successfully become an elementary school student.
His little-devil tendencies had also grown even stronger. Every day, he was either dragging his little brother around to tease cats and dogs or taking him out to cause trouble.
Although young Xie Changyu was only a little over two years old, his naughty streak was already obvious.
Just like his older brother, he was incredibly mischievous and loved causing trouble. The entire Xie family was utterly exasperated by the two of them.
Since the brothers loved running around and had no idea how to control their strength when they played, it was common for them to come home covered in scrapes and bruises.
This often made all the adults in the family ache with worry. But they could never worry about the two boys for more than three seconds.
Those two little brats were genuinely impossible. The family had never seen children as wild as them!
For example, during the New Year that year, the two little boys somehow heard about the childhood pastime of blowing up cow dung with firecrackers.
Unfortunately, there was no cow dung to blow up in a city like Haicheng.
So young Lu Huaiyu teamed up with young Xie Changyu, who was just over three and could already talk and run, along with several other friends.
They directly used their lucky money to buy two cows and raise them, claiming that they needed fresh dung to blow up.
Young Lu Huaiyu was clever enough not to keep the cows at his own house.
Instead, he tricked the other children into raising them in their backyards.
It wasn’t until two days later, when young Lu Huaiyu came home with young Xie Changyu covered from head to toe in cow dung, that the adults finally found out.
They were both amused and furious. In the end, all they could do was grumble as they had someone take the two stinky children away for a bath.
On young Xie Changyu’s first day of kindergarten, Lu Huaiyu, who was already in third grade, was extremely worried.
In the eyes of a third-grader like him, kindergarten children were all stupid and childish. He was terrified that the other kids would bully his precious little brother.
And so, he chose to skip class.
No one knew how he had managed to evade every camera, teacher, classmate, and security guard at the entrance and sneak out.
When the teacher realized a student was missing from the classroom, she was practically seeing red.
He had clearly been sitting in the classroom during the previous lesson, so how had he disappeared before the next one?
Meanwhile, Lu Huaiyu had already slipped over to the affiliated kindergarten of Haicheng Shengxian Academy, a private elite school. He had no idea that his teachers and the security staff were frantically checking the surveillance footage to find him.
When the kindergarten teacher saw Lu Huaiyu, her mind went completely blank.
She wondered how this little devil had suddenly ended up here. Wasn’t he supposed to be in elementary school?!
Clearly, all the things Lu Huaiyu had done in kindergarten had left an unforgettable impression on the teachers.
Even years after he graduated, they still suffered a certain amount of trauma whenever they saw him.
Since Lu Huaiyu obviously hadn’t come there to see them, he simply ignored the teacher’s horrified expression and gave her an exceedingly well-behaved smile.
“Ms. Zhou, I came to find my little brother, Xie Changyu. It’s his first day of kindergarten, and I’m worried he won’t be able to adjust!”
“He’s very timid and easily frightened, so would it be all right if I went to see him?”
