The whole family flatly refused to take no for an answer from Xie Tangning.
“No way! As the Xie family’s little princess, how could you go to school without a little style?”
“Just look at how flashy we’ve made everything! Tell your classmates about it and they’ll be green with envy!”
Xie Tangning sighed helplessly. “Go on, Great-Grandpa. What short drama did you recommend to everyone this time?”
A “farewell ceremony” with every detail dripping in nouveau riche extravagance was absolutely something they had learned from Thunder Short Dramas.
Old Master Xie chuckled. “The newly released ‘I’m the Beloved of a Wealthy Family’ is quite entertaining. Want to watch it with Great-Grandpa after school?”
Xie Tangning was already seething at the thought of having to go to school, so naturally, her words were especially cutting.
“Great-Grandpa, you should watch less of that stuff!”
“You’ve been using the same old brain for nearly a hundred years, and it’s already not working very well. If you watch any more of these brain-dead short dramas, you’ll lose what little brain you have left!”
Old Master Xie let out a disgruntled huff. “You little rascal! Why are you being so sharp-tongued today?”
“I went to all the trouble of preparing this grand farewell ceremony for you, and this is how you treat us?!”
“Just like a dog biting Lü Dongbin—you can’t recognize a good person when you see one!”
That Old Demon Pill, Lu Wenhua, chimed in as well. “The old master is right. This little rascal has absolutely no taste!”
“Look at this grand and utterly unique spectacle! She doesn’t even know how to appreciate it!”
Xie Tangning wore an expression that was rather difficult to describe. “Whether you’re good people or not, you know perfectly well in your own hearts!”
These old folks were clearly just trying to watch her make a fool of herself, getting revenge for all the trouble she had put them through during the summer vacation!
The parents fell silent, their consciences pricking them. There was something incredibly satisfying about tormenting Xie Tangning under the guise of preparing a surprise for her.
But they couldn’t say that out loud. If they did, Xie Tangning would seize the opportunity to turn the tables and torment them right back!
At that moment, Lu Huaiyu emerged after changing his clothes at some point. In his hand was the water bottle Xie Tangning had left on the table in her hurry.
“Always so careless. You even forgot your water bottle!”
This was the normal green water bottle Xie Tangning had picked out herself. She had flatly refused to use the ones her grandfather and maternal grandfather had recommended.
“Oh! I almost forgot. Thanks, Big Brother!”
Lu Huaiyu lightly tapped her on the forehead. “You’re already losing things before classes have even started. Once you get to school, won’t you return all the knowledge your teacher gives you the moment class ends?”
Xie Tangning retorted without the slightest shame, “Impossible. It’ll go in my left ear and straight out my right!”
“Why wait until class is over to return it?”
Lu Huaiyu was speechless.
I actually have no comeback to that!
“So you think that’s something to be proud of?”
Xie Tangning brushed the confetti from the party popper off her head and gave him a guilty little smile. “I was only joking~”
“Don’t take it seriously!”
Lu Huaiyu chuckled twice. “Of course I can’t take it seriously. How could anything go in your left ear and out your right?”
“More likely, the moment the class bell rings, the sleep demon will possess you again. Not a single thing the teacher says will make it into your head!”
He had already pulled that trick back in his own school days. How could he not see through this little rascal’s thoughts?
Xie Tangning pressed her lips together and said nothing. Having an older brother with a considerable age gap was troublesome in exactly this way.
No matter what mischief she got up to, he could always see through her, because he had done it all himself.
Which clearly proved that Lu Huaiyu had not exactly been a model student back when he was in school either!
Xie Changyu had been waiting by the car door for quite some time. When he still didn’t hear the special line reserved for him as the “chauffeur,” he couldn’t help reminding her, “Miss Xie Tangning, if I may point out, it takes at least twenty minutes to get from our house to Haicheng Middle School.”
“And there are only twenty-one minutes left before class starts. If you keep dawdling, you can look forward to getting written up on the very first day of school!”
Only then did Xie Tangning snap out of her daze, jolted awake by the “surprise” the bored older members of her family had prepared. She made a dash for the car.
“Hurry, hurry! Our homeroom teacher was promoted to grade director this year, which means she’s become even less human!”
“If she catches me being late on the first day, I’m finished!”
Xie Changyu immediately pressed down on the hand she was reaching for the car door and launched into a display of “upper-class etiquette” worthy of his role as her personal chauffeur.
Xie Tangning’s eyes went dark. She didn’t catch a single word of the Thunder-Drama nonsense he was reciting.
All she knew was that she was so furious she wanted to punch him.
“Xie Changyu, if you keep dragging this out, I swear I’ll kick you straight in the butt and leave you unable to crawl up off the ground!”
Xie Changyu wasn’t intimidated by her threat in the slightest. Instead, he reached over and pressed down on her head. “Because of all your dawdling, another minute has passed!”
Xie Tangning was practically about to explode. She was just about to clamp her fingers around Xie Changyu’s arm when he finally caught the hint.
“Don’t worry! With your second brother here, you definitely won’t be late. My driving skills are even better than Big Brother’s!”
“Oh, please, get in the car, my lady~”
Xie Tangning’s eyes went dark again, and she climbed into the car with the air of someone who had lost all will to live.
She truly couldn’t understand where her family had developed such a united passion for Thunder-Drama nonsense.
The Xie family was, after all, a genuine wealthy household. Why did they insist on copying things from short dramas?
Sometimes she seriously suspected that these people were using “playing pranks on her” as an excuse to take off their masks and go completely insane for once.
The moment the car started, Lu Qiwu, the unquestioned ringleader, began directing everyone like a conductor leading an orchestra. They all started reciting their ridiculous lines in unison.
Their voices were so loud that even after the car had driven a considerable distance away, Xie Tangning could still hear those painfully embarrassing short-drama quotes.
“Ahhh~ Let the world burn! Why do people have to go to school?!”
“Why do I have to be human? Can’t I just be a carefree little water bear?”
“If all else fails, I could always be a useless person!”
Xie Tangning muttered under her breath as she watched Lu Qiwu and the others put on the performance of their lives in the rearview mirror. They had even pulled out handkerchiefs to dab at their tears.
They acted as if sending her to school were some unbearable separation.
Xie Changyu kept driving, occasionally glancing at the limp little girl in the rearview mirror, who had already melted into a flat cat-shaped pancake.
“Sit tight. Your brother is about to show you his real skills!”
At that, Xie Tangning instantly sat up straight, her face lighting up with excitement, as if the listless person from a moment ago had never existed.
“Hurry! I’m ready to experience speed and passion!”
That was young people for you—their moods came and went in the blink of an eye!
Xie Changyu answered with a hearty “OK!” and stomped on the accelerator. The car began speeding down the broad road.
Back at the entrance, Lu Qiwu and the others watched the car suddenly accelerate away. The exaggerated expressions on their faces quickly changed as well.
Lu Huaiyu, being especially ridiculous, called out, “The troublesome mythical beast has finally gone back to school! Let’s get this party started!”
As soon as he finished speaking, the parents began acting like lunatics. With their limbs flailing and their features flying all over the place, they hurried back into the estate to begin their wonderful day.
“Let’s go, Mom! How about we throw a party to celebrate?”
“Sounds good. I’ll call a few of my old girlfriends over!”
“Then I’ll call up all my old gal pals and guy pals, too!”
“Not easy, is it? We poor schmucks can finally enjoy some peace and quiet!”
The group chattered away as they headed off, leaving only Lu Huaiyu standing where he was. “I can’t shake the feeling that something’s not quite right…”
“Wait! I’m the poor schmuck here!”
It was Monday, and every single one of those people was retired. He was the only one who actually had to go to work!
“Aaaaahhhhhhh!”
Lu Huaiyu threw his head back and let out a long howl. Several birds in the trees were startled into flight.
“Somebody save me! Dad, you go to work for me, pleeease~ Grandpa, you can go too!”
Xie Yanxun scratched his head and played dumb. “Honey, did you hear someone say something? I don’t think anyone said anything just now, did they?”
Lu Qiwu chimed in perfectly, “Nope, didn’t hear a thing! Maybe you’re imagining it?”
Xie Heng’an, who had also been called out, simply pretended not to hear him at all. He didn’t even bother acting.
Lu Huaiyu: “…”
Aaaaah~ What a bunch of old bastards!
“I don’t care! I don’t want to go to work!”
And so, the Xie family estate once again returned to its usual state of chaos and commotion!
