The car pulled up at the Purple Forbidden City residence.
Song Xinya walked inside carrying a bag full of ovulation test strips.
The moment Song Tingye saw the bag in her hand, he came running over, going pitter-patter all the way. “Sis, what tasty stuff did you buy?”
Song Xinya said, “Bombs. Want one?”
“Sure! I’ll eat one bomb today, and after ten months of pregnancy, it’ll give birth to a thousand more bombs.”
“If one pregnancy produced a thousand, you’d think women were scattering seeds.”
“And another thing: babies don’t come out of your butt. Got it?”
“Not really.”
“Did you sleep through all of high school biology? You don’t even know basic facts. How are you supposed to get into Tsinghua or Peking University like this?”
Song Tingye pulled out a report card and held it up in front of her face. “We had a schoolwide exam today. I ranked first in the entire grade.”
“You don’t even know where babies come out, yet you still ranked first. You really are a fascinating species.”
“In that case, should I go do some serious research on where babies come out?”
“…You’d better not.”
“Women are so fickle.”
“You say that like you know women very well.”
Virgin.
“I don’t. Or maybe I should go do some serious research on women?”
“…You clearly don’t have enough homework if you still have time to ramble on with me.”
Song Tingye pointed at the plastic bag in her hand. “Sis, show me what’s inside, and then I’ll roll away nice and neatly.”
Since he wanted to see it, Song Xinya took out the pink box and handed it to him.
“If you’re so brave, try eating one like a piece of beef jerky.”
“An ovulation test strip?” Song Tingye scratched his head. “What’s this thing?”
“This is something you don’t know about.”
Song Tingye read the instructions and more or less figured out what the thing was about.
“Sis, why are you testing whether you’re ovulating?”
Song Tingyou came over. “Our sis is getting ready to have a baby.”
Song Tingye’s steel-straight-man brain turned the matter over, but he couldn’t figure out how ovulation test strips were connected to having a baby. No matter—it wasn’t important. What mattered was that he was going to have a little nephew!
⌯ᵔᗜᵔ⌯
No, no, no. He might be getting a little niece!
Whether it was a nephew or a niece, he was going to be an uncle!
This was way too exciting!
୧(´▽`★)୭
Song Tingye asked impatiently, “Sis, when are you going to give birth? I can’t wait! Hurry up and have the baby in ten months!”
Song Xinya said, “You’ve already scheduled my labor for me. Since you’re in such a hurry, why don’t you have one yourself?”
“I don’t have the equipment. You said babies can’t be pooped out.”
“…”
Song Xinya said, “You really know how to put what you learn into practice.”
“You know me. I’ve been especially smart since I was little.”
Qin Yuhe put an arm around Song Xinya and led her upstairs. “Your sister and I are going upstairs. It’s late, so you two should wash up and go to bed.”
He glanced around the living room. “Where’s Yanyan?”
Song Tingye said, “Don’t worry. Your little sister knows how to enjoy life. The moment she feels sleepy, she goes straight to bed. She’d never dream of making herself stay awake.”
In the bedroom on the second floor, Song Xinya hugged a glass of water and gulped it down.
Qin Yuhe said, “Even the cacti in the Sahara Desert aren’t as thirsty as you.”
After finishing the glass, Song Xinya said, “I want to use an ovulation test strip to see whether I’m ovulating today.”
Qin Yuhe said, “Does it have to be today?”
“Yes, it does. Whether I’m ovulating determines the quality of our married life tonight.”
Qin Yuhe grew curious. “What if you are?”
Song Xinya clenched both hands into fists, raised her chin, and put on a heroic expression, as though she were marching bravely toward her death. “Even if it kills me, I’ll battle you all night tonight!”
“And what if you aren’t ovulating tonight?”
“Big brother, go wash up and get some sleep.”
Qin Yuhe: “…”
“This really has a huge impact on the quality of our married life.”
“Should I start praying that the test comes back positive?”
Song Xinya gave him a flirtatious sidelong glance. “Be sincere when you pray. That way, the Buddha will grant your wish.”
Qin Yuhe took his pajamas into the bathroom. When he came out after showering, he saw Song Xinya once again hugging her glass and gulping down water.
“Drink that much and your face will be puffy tomorrow morning.”
“I don’t want to, either, but I’ve been waiting for ages and still don’t feel the slightest urge to pee.”
She let out a long sigh. “If I’d known this would happen, I wouldn’t have gone to the bathroom at the restaurant. I should’ve held it in.”
Qin Yuhe: “…”
He was speechless.
He comforted her. “Don’t rush. Just let nature take its course. You can take a shower first. Maybe you’ll be ready to test afterward.”
That was all they could do. Panicking wouldn’t help.
After Song Xinya finished showering, she still didn’t feel like she needed to pee.
She lifted the covers and climbed into bed.
Qin Yuhe was reading. The sweet, fragrant scent left by her shower drifted into his nose.
He placed the book on the nightstand and lay back down beneath the covers.
Song Xinya’s entire mind was occupied with finding out whether she was ovulating. At a time when most people were cultivating sleepiness, she was cultivating the urge to pee.
Qin Yuhe lay there for a while. The bedroom was silent, with only the sound of their mingled breathing, magnified endlessly in the private space.
He tentatively asked, “Turn off the lights?”
“Turn off the bedside lamp on your side and go to sleep first. I’ll leave the one on my side lit. When I finally feel like I need to pee, I’ll dash to the bathroom and take the test.”
“What if it turns out you are ovulating?”
“I’ll wake you up, sit on top of you, and bounce up and down, swaying left and right.”
Qin Yuhe could only laugh helplessly.
“That makes me sound like a tool you’re using to have a baby.”
“Don’t pretend. I know you like it.”
Qin Yuhe didn’t deny it.
A while later, Song Xinya suddenly threw off the covers and rushed into the bathroom.
She filled a small plastic cup with urine and dipped in the end of the test strip marked with arrows.
After waiting expectantly for a while, Song Xinya returned to the bedroom with her little face drooping. She listlessly lay down on the bed.
“Going to sleep. Good night.”
Qin Yuhe asked, “We’re not doing anything tonight?”
“Truce.”
Qin Yuhe reached over and switched off the bedside lamp.
The bedroom sank into a hazy gray darkness.
Five, four, three, two, one!
Song Xinya suddenly rolled into Qin Yuhe’s arms, hugged him around the waist, and planted a loud kiss on his face.
“Just kidding. Let’s do it.”
Qin Yuhe said, “No.”
Song Xinya froze. She let go of his waist, rolled away, and pulled the covers up over her head.
Hmph. That lousy man had actually rejected her. She would never sleep with him again. Not for the rest of this life, and not in her next life, either!
She was holding a grudge now!
She’d carved it into her heart!
If she ever slept with him again, she’d be a dog!
Suddenly, the covers over her head were yanked away by an irresistible force.
Qin Yuhe’s scent, fresh from his shower, came crashing down over her without warning.
He bent over her, bracing both arms on either side of her body and enclosing her completely in the shadow he cast.
As if doing a push-up, he bent his arms and drove his lean, powerful body downward toward her.
His lips met hers. “I was kidding. Let’s do it.”
