If what Gu Zhao said could be realized, it would be an almost perfect ending for Zhu Qingyu.
Every gain comes with a price. She had never harbored the extravagant hope that she could rescue Zhang Shen from the imperial prison without paying for it in some way.
And her purpose in coming to the capital had remained entirely unchanged from the moment she first stepped onto Gu Zhao's boat: to rescue Zhang Shen and, at the same time, extricate herself.
Therefore, the moment Gu Zhao's voice faded, Zhu Qingyu immediately replied,
"Alright, I agree. Shouming, even now, you are still willing to help me, and I am truly very grateful to you."
She was being pinned beneath him by force with the intent to be violated, and she was being blackmailed with her husband's life into agreeing to his demands.
Even so, facing this coercion of both the carrot and the stick, she actually wore a smile, gently and calmly thanking him.
It was as if the person whose hands were pinned by him, completely unable to move, was someone else entirely.
Facing this scene, Gu Zhao only felt a bitter sense of irony.
It seemed that ever since that morning in Yangzhou, from the moment she woke up in his bed and he revealed his intentions toward her, the word she said to him most often was gratitude.
Compared to her effortless composure, his own pain and sinking felt so utterly ridiculous.
Would she, after this one time, become like a bird in the clouds, disappearing into the vast world without a trace to be found, not even leaving the slightest mark of him in her heart?
Because of her breezy indifference to this matter, Gu Zhao's heart flared with agony once again.
If she wanted a clean break, then a clean break it would be.
Pain bred malice. Gu Zhao could not endure suffering alone. Since he could not have her love, he would take her hatred.
He had already given up the hope of having her. Since he couldn't have her, he would destroy everything. He could no longer stand her false affection; he wanted her truth, even if that truth was sheer hatred toward him.
Uncontrollable malice grew wildly in Gu Zhao's heart. He wanted to drag her into the abyss, humiliate her with words, torment her with force, and make her struggle helplessly beneath him, crying in despair. He wanted her to bear this unforgettable pain and hatred, to remember everything he inflicted upon her today, and to hate him for the rest of her life.
As Gu Zhao undid the buttons on Zhu Qingyu's clothes with one hand, he coldly spat out vicious words:
"Grateful? Zhu Qingyu, what, am I your patron today? Is that why you're saying thank you to me?"
Because it was already early winter, the weather in the capital grew colder by the day. Without a brazier in the morning and evening, even the indoors would be piercingly cold.
Therefore, today, over her outer jacket, Zhu Qingyu had added a scallion-green satin front-opening long vest.
Front-opening garments had particularly many buttons, and Gu Zhao was particularly impatient today. Relying on the fact that she wouldn't resist, he let go of her hands, roughly tore open the buttons on the vest with both hands, and even more violently ripped open the slanted lapel of the pine-flower-colored outer jacket underneath.
A patch of jade-like skin at her chest peeked through, half-hidden and half-exposed between her white inner robe and her madder-pink undergarment.
Upon seeing that glimpse of jade, Gu Zhao suddenly stopped. His breathing gradually grew heavy, and he looked at Zhu Qingyu with a dark, intense expression:
"Why aren't you speaking? Do you really consider me a patron taking care of your business? Or is it that you've entertained others like this too? Shen Chongshu? Or Xie Ze? Or both? What number am I?"
Compared to Gu Zhao's physical roughness, what worried Zhu Qingyu far more was his emotional instability.
He was clearly agitated. Even though he was about to engage in a romantic act with her, he looked as if he harbored deep resentment, as if he had suffered a great grievance and wanted to seek justice by humiliating her.
Zhu Qingyu hoped he would calm down instead of suppressing his anger.
Because if his anger got out of control, she would be the one who ended up getting hurt.
With her hands no longer pinned down by him, Zhu Qingyu reached out and, under his astonished gaze, cupped his face and said:
"Shouming, I have never entertained anyone else. Do you want me to serve you like I would a patron? Is this the 'one time' you want?"
Entertain, patron.
When these stinging words came out of his own mouth, they were meant to hurt her, but hearing them from her own lips only deepened Gu Zhao's pain.
How could she say such things so brazenly?
Being treated with such disrespect, didn't she feel angry? Didn't she feel humiliated?
Seeing that Gu Zhao didn't answer, Zhu Qingyu moved her hands down his cheeks to his neck, wrapped her arms around it, and raised herself to kiss his chin.
Taking advantage of his daze, Zhu Qingyu moved her hands to his shoulders, gave a gentle push, flipped over, and pinned Gu Zhao beneath her.
Gu Zhao lay flat on his back on the bed, looking up in sheer shock at Zhu Qingyu sitting on top of him.
What exactly just happened?
He was so shocked that he didn't even know how to react.
Gu Zhao had come straight from the Wenyuan Pavilion today and was still wearing his crimson official robes.
The belt on the official uniform was more decorative than practical. In the brief moment Gu Zhao was stunned, Zhu Qingyu had already untied his belt and set it aside.
Gu Zhao finally snapped back to his senses and grabbed her hand:
"You!"
After uttering the first word, he didn't know what else to say.
Zhu Qingyu held his hand in return and said with utmost sincerity:
"Shouming, when I said I was grateful to you, did you not believe me? But I've always meant it. I am truly, truly thankful that you were the one who came to Yangzhou to investigate the case. If it had been anyone else, where would I be now? I would inevitably have suffered imprisonment, become an official slave, or even ended up in a brothel, greeting and seeing off people every day, serving countless patrons. It's hard to say if I would have even lived to see today. Fortunately, the person I met was you."
She said, I am truly, truly thankful; fortunately, the person I met was you.
She said, I am grateful to you, and I mean it.
Gu Zhao felt a bit dizzy, not knowing if it was because she was sitting on him or because he had been so infuriated by her today that his mind was clouded.
Suddenly, he couldn't even tell if what she was saying was the truth or a lie.
Her words sounded so genuine—so genuine that Gu Zhao's towering, iceberg-like anger and his malicious desire to hurt her recklessly melted away like warm spring water, dissolving into her few words.
Zhu Qingyu reached under his neck again, unbuttoning his official robes as she spoke:
"Shouming, I could serve you as I would a patron, but I think that might not please you. Let me treat you as I would my own husband, alright? In this way, I can repay the kindness you have shown me. Once he is released, just as you wished, we will owe each other nothing. From then on, I will never set foot in the capital again, and we will fade from each other's memories in this vast world. Please do not be angry anymore. This might be the very last time we meet, and I only want you to be happy. That way, if you ever happen to recall this day in the future, you won't feel sorrowful."
This gentle tenderness melted away Gu Zhao's urge to act viciously. His gaze followed her every move, letting her unbutton his official uniform and pull open his inner robes.
Zhu Qingyu rested her hands against Gu Zhao's chest. Gu Zhao's eyes were fixed on her, his gaze so scorching it felt as if it could melt everything away.
Right at that moment, a hesitant voice drifted in from the doorway:
"Sister... Sister-in-law?"
