Zhou Zhijun held a piece of braised meat in his mouth, chewed it, and then pushed it into her mouth.
"Eat!" The two words were squeezed out between heavy breaths, carrying an unyielding, forceful tone.
Chuntao suddenly remembered her childhood, when she couldn't chew tough food, her grandmother would chew it first and feed her—that was genuine, heartfelt care.
But Zhou Zhijun's action now only churned her stomach, an indescribable disgust.
She wanted to spit that mushy substance out, but his mouth sealed hers shut, leaving not a sliver of space. Helpless, she swallowed it down, choking back her utter humiliation.
Yet Zhou Zhijun had no intention of letting her go. His lips and teeth kept plundering, biting her lips fiercely with a force that seemed intent on devouring her whole, greedily sucking.
Chuntao felt her lips go numb and tingly from the suction. Furious and frantic, she finally struggled and cried out, "Let me go!"
Zhou Zhijun panted heavily, his tone low and hard, asking in broken phrases, "Will you eat?"
"I will, I'll eat, I'll eat by myself!"
Only upon hearing her tearful compromise did Zhou Zhijun relent.
He sat on the edge of the bed, his face cold as he watched her, not easing up until he saw her finish a large steamed bun and a good amount of braised meat.
"That's more like it. If you don't eat something nutritious, when will your body ever get strong?"
With that, he turned and ran into the melon field, returning with a plump little watermelon. He smashed it open with a fist and handed half to Chuntao.
Then he fished out a brand-new metal spoon from his pocket, as if prepared specially.
Having eaten the bun and meat, Chuntao's throat was parched. Coupled with her fear of defying him, she obediently took the spoon and ate half the watermelon.
"I'm full. Shouldn't you be going now?" She kept her head down, her voice soft and light, like a fine feather tickling Zhou Zhijun's ear, sending a shiver through him.
Zhou Zhijun stared at her, then suddenly bent down, his tall frame enveloping her small body completely, his presence exuding an undeniable pressure. "You're full, but I haven't eaten yet!"
Before the words faded, he pulled her into his arms without another word and pressed down hard.
Chuntao understood perfectly. She had eaten his bun and meat, and now he wanted to "eat" her, this "steamed bread."
Grandma always said, "If you accept food from others, your mouth will soften!" Even though she was forced today, she still felt indebted to him. He bullied her like that, yet she didn't even have the moral courage to resist.
Zhou Zhijun, burning with urgency, tore her small, tight, patched undershirt with a sharp "rip."
His rough hands roamed over her fair skin, rubbing it until it burned with a hot, stinging pain, yet there was also an inexplicable, tingling numbness that seeped through her bones to every limb.
The sky had turned completely dark. Insects in the melon field chirped in waves, like singing a duet for husband and wife, but they couldn't drown out the heavy panting from the shed or the man's sticky, smacking sounds, as if he were savoring the richest New Year's pork.
The way Zhou Zhijun lost control made Chuntao tremble all over. She pushed hard against his head, which only excited him more.
Her initial shallow, quick breaths had long lost their rhythm. She was utterly wrapped in his scorching heat. Her breathing turned into fragmented, tuneless moans, mingling with the hard force of his body, her heart pounding so wildly her chest ached.
"Don't..." she gasped, barely squeezing the word out between her teeth.
"Tao, I adore you... I want you..." Zhou Zhijun's breathing grew heavier, more frantic. He reached to undo her belt.
"Tao, I'll have you today! Wang Jieshi is a useless man. He can't give you anything, but I can!"
"No... please, don't!" Chuntao suddenly burst into loud sobs. "If you really want me to die, then just go ahead!"
"I... there's no one in this world who adores you more than I do. Why can't you understand?"
Zhou Zhijun's movements halted abruptly. He rolled onto his side, lying next to her, his arms tightly encircling her.
He stuck out his tongue and licked the tear tracks from her face. Her tears were salty, but his heart was bitter, acrid.
He genuinely adored her, treasured her from the bottom of his heart.
One day without seeing her left him feeling hollow, as if the most vital part had been ripped out—cold and painful, every breath stinging, his nose and eyes sour.
But the moment he saw her, he only wanted to hold her in his arms, to cherish and dote on her, wishing he could knead all his aching affection into her very bones, letting her feel it completely.
"I'm a woman with a husband. I don't need your adoration. Just go!" Chuntao pushed at him, but he only held her tighter, squeezing the breath from her.
"You have a husband, but has he ever cared about you? Every bit of suffering these four years, wasn't it because of him?"
Zhou Zhijun's voice was fiery. "He's back now, but he's a cripple. What can he give you?"
He was right. Wang Jieshi could give her nothing. A shoulder to cry on, a helping hand with work, comfort at night, support when bullied... he could offer none of it. Now, she even had to take care of him.
"You're right, but what can I do? This is my fate..." Chuntao's voice was full of despair.
"Fate can be changed!" Zhou Zhijun suddenly sat up, pulling her up with him, his rough hands cupping her small face.
"Chuntao, come away with me! I'll take you somewhere no one knows us. We'll live a good life together, have children. I'll work hard to give you a good life! Tao, come with me, will you?"
How she wanted to go! But she couldn't. She wasn't afraid of being called shameless, a loose woman. She was afraid of dragging her grandmother and her brother down.
"Zhou Zhijun... you're crazy. I can't leave!"
"I am crazy!" His eyes reddened, his voice trembled. "I go crazy the moment I see you. I become frantic if I can't have you!"
As soon as the words left his mouth, he bit down on her lips again, reckless and forceful.
Chuntao's fists pounded against his broad shoulders, frantic and resentful. "You bastard! You're not human! Let me go!"
A button popped off her coarse cloth shirt, her undershirt was torn, yet Zhou Zhijun wouldn't stop.
Chuntao's heart burned with anxiety. Wang Xiaohong had gone home to cook quite a while ago; she was probably on her way back soon.
This man was beyond reason when he was like this, impervious to both soft and hard approaches. Truly at her wit's end, she could only plead through tears. "Xiaohong will be here soon! Please let me go, I'm begging you, isn't that enough?"
Zhou Zhijun was also restless inside. He hadn't dared to take the final step, partly for fear of Wang Xiaohong barging in suddenly, and partly because the simple wooden bed in the shed couldn't withstand his... fervor.
Since he couldn't do what he most desired, he wanted to claim more of her essence, her scent. Only then could that hollow place in his heart be filled with a sliver of tangible warmth.
Under Chuntao's desperate pleas, he finally released her, his hot breath still fanning her neck and lips.
He said coldly, "Promise me one thing. Otherwise, I'll cast aside all propriety and shame, and I will have you today!"
As he spoke, his hand began wandering again.
"Don't! Tell me, what's the condition? As long as I can do it, I promise!" Chuntao felt like she had grabbed a lifeline, but regretted her words the moment they left her mouth.
Zhou Zhijun leaned close to her ear, his voice low and hoarse, rough with desire, "Another day, I'll find a safe place, and we'll do it properly...
Do it till the heavens and earth go dark, do it till we forget the seasons, do it till... do it till you can't bear to be without me, till you let me do it willingly..."
