Has Miss Yan Driven the Whole Capital Crazy?

Chapter 120

The matchmaker’s expression twisted. “It’s true that you never said she had to come from a family nobler than the Yan family, but I have plenty of unmarried ladies here. You can take your pick. Every one of them has to measure up to the Yan family’s second daughter. The Yan family is no longer what it used to be. Lord Yan is His Majesty’s most trusted favorite minister, enjoying imperial favor and glory beyond measure.

“The Yan family’s eldest daughter and second daughter are both court ladies, with highly honored status. Never mind the Yan family’s second daughter—even for the Yan family’s eldest daughter, the people asking me to sound out the Yan family’s intentions are lined up around the block. If the Yan family’s eldest daughter were to show even the slightest willingness, there would be no shortage of distinguished young gentlemen vying to marry her.”

Madam Zhou curled her lip. “Stop spouting nonsense. How old is Yan Liangrong by now? In another half a month, her son will be seven years old. What respectable family would want her?”

The matchmaker let out another long sigh. “Then you see, my abilities really are limited. I simply can’t meet your requirements.”

What good girl—of good birth, pleasant disposition, great talent, and beautiful looks—could possibly let the Zhou family trample all over her like this?

The Yan family’s second daughter was also partly to blame. Her temper had been far too accommodating in the past, and she had spoiled the Zhou family until their appetites grew larger and larger.

Already displeased, Madam Zhou’s tone turned even more cutting. “The title of ‘Number One Matchmaker in Bianjing’ certainly sounds impressive. Who would have thought you were nothing more than a roof beam pretending to be a pillar—putting on airs?”

“You—”

The matchmaker swallowed her anger.

Those in her line of work had to endure grievances others could not, if they wanted to survive in the business for long.

She forced a smile onto her face. “You’re right. We’re simply incompetent and unable to help the eldest young master. I won’t trouble you any further.”

With that, the matchmaker rose and left.

The moment she stepped outside, she cursed viciously under her breath.

What a load of rubbish!

Thirty years east of the river, thirty years west of the river. She would just wait and see how many more years the Zhou family could continue living so high and mighty when they were so thoroughly beneath contempt.

After the matchmaker left, Madam Zhou’s face flushed with anger.

She went to Zhou Zhengxun’s courtyard. Zhou Zhengxun had drunk heavily the night before and was suffering from a splitting headache. At that moment, he was drinking a bowl of hangover soup.

Madam Zhou sat down across from him. “You and Liangyu really have no dealings anymore?”

Zhou Zhengxun pressed his lips together, his eyes bloodshot. “She really doesn’t want me anymore.”

A pang of sympathy struck Madam Zhou. “Have you heard? That girl Liangyu and Pei Jin’an have settled their marriage.”

Zhou Zhengxun nodded, his eyes filled with bitterness.

“Pei Jin’an’s grandfather, the Vice Minister of Rites, is only a fourth-rank official, the same rank as your father. It’s true that Pei Jin’an’s current position is higher than yours, but his father’s rank is still lower than your father’s.” Madam Zhou tried to persuade him. “Think of something. Arrange to meet Liangyu and talk things over with her. Look at how miserable and dispirited you are now. Once Liangyu sees you, she’ll surely feel sorry for you.”

“It’s useless. She won’t feel sorry for me.” Zhou Zhengxun’s eyes reddened. “She doesn’t want me anymore.”

Madam Zhou refused to give up. “Isn’t there anything else we can do? I’ve heard that the Yan family has prepared an exceptionally generous dowry for Liangyu. Even Qian Buping and her two brothers from the Qian family have recently been busy preparing it for her. With a dowry that large, you probably wouldn’t be able to see the end of it on the day she leaves for her wedding.”

The more Madam Zhou said, the worse Zhou Zhengxun felt. His emotions suddenly spiraled out of control. “What can I do about it? Go and seize the bride?”

Madam Zhou was frightened. “Why are you being so fierce?”

Zhou Zhengxun’s heart was a tangled mess of sorrow, regret, and grief.

Madam Zhou said bitterly, “If only we’d known the Yan family would reach this point, we should have let you two marry sooner.”

But now Yan Liangyu was gone, and they could no longer find a daughter-in-law from a family of equal standing. Her husband had no in-laws at court to lend him a hand, either. He could neither rise in rank nor escape the people who were pushing him aside. It was very possible he would spend the rest of his life stuck in the position of Fourth-Rank Zhongfeng Dafu.

Oh, if only they had formed an alliance back then. If Yan Tongshu could have given them a hand, how wonderful that would have been.

The more Madam Zhou thought about it, the worse she felt. Not long after returning home, she fell ill. In the past, she had only pretended to be sick. This time, she truly was.

……

At the end of the eighth month, the autumn hunt began.

As one of the accompanying officials, Yan Tongshu set out with the imperial procession for the hunting grounds in Daming Prefecture.

Daming Prefecture was not far beyond the northern gate of Bianjing.

The Imperial Guards would cordon off a section of land in advance, barring commoners from entering. They would also drive the animals into one area and arrange everything beforehand.

Once the autumn hunt was over, the Imperial Guards would remove the barriers and withdraw the soldiers, allowing the common people to pass through freely once more.

A little farther ahead of this area in Daming Prefecture was the official road leading to Yunzhou. All travelers had to use this route.

For this imperial journey, the Divine Guard Army and the Divine Might Army were jointly responsible for protecting the emperor’s safety. Thus, Duan Duo and Meng Zheng were both among the procession.

The moment Duan Duo saw Yan Tongshu, his eyes went wide. Yan Tongshu ignored him completely, not even sparing him a glance. This only made Duan Duo so furious that smoke practically poured from all seven of his orifices.

Meng Zheng tugged on his reins and rode between Duan Duo and Yan Tongshu, blocking Duan Duo’s line of sight. He looked toward Yan Tongshu and asked, “Lord Yan, how many animals are you planning to hunt?”

“With my archery skills, I’m afraid I won’t manage to hunt even one. But…” Yan Tongshu winked at Meng Zheng. “I’m planning to mooch a few choice game animals from you all and take them home to enjoy at my leisure.”

So, in fact, even without a Ferghana horse, she would have been willing to take part in the autumn hunt.

“Done!” Meng Zheng laughed heartily. “What would you like? I’ll make sure to set aside whatever you want first.”

“Really?” Yan Tongshu was delighted. “Lord Meng, you’re the best Lord Meng in the whole world.”

Meng Zheng lifted his chin slightly. “Tell me, then. What do you want?”

Yan Tongshu said excitedly, “Rabbits and pheasants.”

“I thought you’d ask for tigers or wolves. But all you want is a few rabbits and pheasants? Lord Yan, you ought to set your sights a little higher.” Meng Zheng raised his brows. “My riding and archery skills are far better than you imagine.”

Yan Tongshu shook her head. “Tigers and wolves are too frightening.”

Besides, although tigers were not protected animals in ancient times, years of modern education were engraved in her very bones. She simply could not bring herself to think of either of these rare animals as food.

Since that was the case, Meng Zheng did not press her. “If I come across any wild geese, I’ll catch one for you.”

Yan Tongshu thanked him excitedly. “Thank you, Lord Meng.”

The two of them were discussing how to handle a live goose and a dead one separately when a Divine Might Army soldier rode over and said respectfully, “Lord Yan, His Majesty requests your presence.”

Yan Tongshu followed the soldier to the imperial carriage. Lu Xi lifted the curtain and let her inside.

Yan Tongshu bent down and climbed into the carriage, then bowed properly. “I pay my respects to Your Majesty.”

“Rise.” Qin Yi lifted a hand, his voice cold and hard. “There’s no one else in the carriage.”

Yan Tongshu gave a quiet “oh” and straightened.

Qin Yi did not sound particularly pleased. Unsure what had put him in such a mood, Yan Tongshu raised her eyes to study his expression. His face was dark and forbidding.

Yan Tongshu sighed inwardly.

That was emperors for you—moody and unpredictable, their tempers changing at the drop of a hat.

She stood there with perfect decorum, but the more proper she was, the hotter the inexplicable fire in Qin Yi’s chest burned. He said in a low voice, “Come here. Play a game of chess with me.”

Yan Tongshu sat down across from Qin Yi.

On the chessboard, black and white stones clashed. The black pieces had advanced cautiously at first, every move part of a careful strategy, but for some reason they suddenly became more aggressive later on. After the middle game, black and white became hopelessly entangled, and the outcome was difficult to predict.

Lu Xi stepped forward and carefully sorted the pieces back into their respective bowls.

Qin Yi placed the white bowl in front of himself, then pushed the black bowl toward Yan Tongshu.

He was giving her the first move.

“There should be something at stake when we play chess.” Qin Yi looked up at Yan Tongshu.

Yan Tongshu looked back at him, waiting for him to continue.

Qin Yi said, “The loser must answer one question.”

Yan Tongshu protested, “Where do you get so many questions from?”

Qin Yi raised a brow. “Do you agree or not?”

Yan Tongshu lowered her eyes and thought for a moment before looking up with a smile. “I agree, but I have one condition.”

Qin Yi’s brows twitched slightly.

“Playing with one hand is too tiring.” Yan Tongshu flashed him a sly smile. “You have to allow me to use both hands.”

“There’s no reason I can’t agree to that.” Qin Yi accepted.

Yan Tongshu placed a black stone on the board first. Qin Yi followed. After several exchanges, Yan Tongshu said, “Then I’m going to start using both hands now.”

Qin Yi nodded.

Yan Tongshu picked up one stone with each hand and placed them both on the board at the same time.

The two black stones landed in two entirely different places.

Qin Yi was so exasperated that he laughed. “Yan Tongshu! This is what you meant by using both hands?”

Yan Tongshu spread her hands innocently. “Yes. You agreed to it. The emperor’s word is his bond—you can’t go back on it.”

Qin Yi ground his back teeth. “Good, good, good. What a fine way to use both hands.”

He laughed in his fury. “Continue!”

Qin Yi made one move, and Yan Tongshu made two. He moved once, and she moved twice.

Lu Xi stood to the side, watching Qin Yi’s reactions at all times, ready to attend to him whenever necessary.

As the middle game progressed, the outcome gradually became clear.

Qin Yi was falling behind.

Lu Xi continued to stand guard at the side, cautiously observing his master’s expression. After the middle game, victory and defeat had become increasingly obvious: His Majesty was losing ground. And yet, strangely enough, although he was about to lose the game, the emperor’s expression was far better than it had been when Lord Yan first entered the carriage.

How peculiar.

How very peculiar.

As the game drew to a close, Yan Tongshu picked up the white stones that had already been driven into a hopeless position one by one. Pressing her lips together in a smile, she said, “I won.”

Qin Yi frowned and stared at the board without moving.

Yan Tongshu snickered inwardly. Was the dog emperor refusing to admit defeat?

There was nothing he could do about it. He was the one who had agreed to the terms.

Yan Tongshu spoke up. “Then, Qin Yi, you owe me a question.”

Qin Yi toyed with the smooth, rounded chess stone in his hand and replied evenly, “Ask.”

Yan Tongshu thought for a moment and was just about to speak when the carriage came to a stop.

Lu Xi lifted the carriage curtain. Outside, a member of the Shenwei Army reported, “Your Majesty, we have arrived at the hunting grounds.”

Qin Yi nodded and cast a casual glance outside. Then he suddenly spotted Meng Zheng, mounted beside the commander of the Shenwei Army. Meng Zheng held the reins in his left hand, and around his wrist was unmistakably a string of warm, lustrous prayer beads.

Qin Yi recognized them.

They were a string of prayer beads personally carved and consecrated by Master Yuanhui. Each set was made by hand from sandalwood harvested that year, dried, and carefully crafted. No two sets were alike.

In an instant.

Just like that.

Lu Xi felt the warm atmosphere inside the carriage freeze over.

His entire body stiffened, and he instinctively held his breath.

Qin Yi’s icy gaze shot toward Yan Tongshu like an arrow.

At the Grand Chancellor’s Temple, she had looked left and right, attended Master Yuanhui’s lectures, and even disguised herself as a monk to deliver him food. She had gone to such lengths, racking her brains, all to obtain a string of prayer beads consecrated by Master Yuanhui—so she could give them to Meng Zheng?

“Yan! Tong! Shu!”

The three words seemed to be forced out one by one through clenched teeth.

Yan Tongshu was startled. She looked at Qin Yi in bewilderment. “What’s wrong? I haven’t done anything to you.”

“You—”

The fury in Qin Yi’s chest nearly burned through him. His already frost-covered expression was now terrifyingly cold.

He looked at Yan Tongshu and met her wary gaze. Then, all at once, he forcibly suppressed the flames raging inside him.

Qin Yi lowered his eyes and tightened his grip around the chess piece. His voice was taut with the oppressive calm before a storm. “Get out.”

Yan Tongshu ventured, “Then, about my question…”

Qin Yi ground his teeth. “It can wait.”

Yan Tongshu did not dare provoke the emperor any further and obediently climbed out of the carriage.

Smack.

Qin Yi slammed the white chess piece back into the chess box.

Lu Xi immediately dropped to his knees, trembling.

Qin Yi closed his eyes for a moment. In a hoarse voice, he said, “Get out. Have them set up the tent first, then come and call me.”

“Yes.”

As though granted a reprieve, Lu Xi hurried out of the carriage.

The spacious carriage was left with Qin Yi alone.

He sat on the cushioned couch, his hands clenching and unclenching, clenching and unclenching.

That string of prayer beads… It was he who had asked Master Yuanhui to make an exception and give it away…

Yan Tongshu! You really are something!

…

After a while, the tent was ready.

Lu Xi helped Qin Yi down from the carriage.

The Minister of Personnel and Yan Tongshu stood side by side, waiting respectfully. He lowered his voice and called out to Yan Tongshu.

Yan Tongshu rolled her eyes at him. The Minister of Personnel asked, “How did you provoke His Majesty this time?”

“What do you mean, ‘how did I provoke His Majesty this time’?” Yan Tongshu protested, feeling utterly wronged.

The Minister of Personnel gave a dry chuckle. “Who else could it have been? His Majesty’s complexion was perfectly fine before we set out, but it changed halfway here. You were the only one who entered the imperial carriage. If it wasn’t you, then who was it?”

Yan Tongshu huffed indignantly. “Old Cheng, don’t pin things on me just because you can’t find anyone else to blame. There were so many memorials in that carriage. Maybe you did something wrong and made His Majesty angry.”

“Absolutely impossible.” The Minister of Personnel sneered. “I’ve spent decades navigating the official world. I have always been diligent, conscientious, and cautious.”

Yan Tongshu continued to sneer at him. Didn’t Cheng Buli’s words simply mean that, after serving as an official for so many years, Old Cheng had been cautious and had left no evidence behind? It wasn’t as though he were truly innocent. She had no idea what Old Cheng was so pleased about.

After Qin Yi entered the tent, the other officials followed suit and began putting away their things.

This was the autumn hunt. Every household had brought servants, making the grounds crowded and chaotic. For safety reasons, aside from a select few princes, nobles, and high-ranking officials who were permitted to bring one attendant, all washing and other arrangements within the Daming Prefecture hunting grounds were handled collectively by palace maids and eunuchs.

Yan Tongshu had brought Jinbao.

A eunuch carried Yan Tongshu’s belongings inside.

She didn’t have much, and she and Jinbao finished tidying up in no time.

With nothing else to do, Yan Tongshu went outside to wander around, get some fresh air, and relax.

The Daming Prefecture hunting grounds were set in the wilderness, stretching for roughly ten kilometers, with one or two small mountains rising nearby.

Those who wished to climb the mountains could also hunt there.

However, the Imperial Guards had already driven the game into the hunting grounds ahead of time, so there would not be much to gain in the mountains. Most people chose to remain active at the foot of the hills.

Yan Tongshu followed a small stream. She had not gone far when the hurried thunder of horse hooves suddenly sounded behind her.

She had just turned to look when a heavy arm wrapped around her waist. Her entire body was lifted into the air and placed on the back of a horse. It happened so quickly that she didn’t even have time to cry out.

“Don’t move.”

Qin Yi’s voice came from behind her. Only then did Yan Tongshu’s thoroughly startled heart, which had nearly leaped out of her throat, finally settle down a little.

The whip flashed through the air as the horse reared and charged forward, swift as a whirlwind.

Yan Tongshu wanted to drive both elbows into Qin Yi, but she couldn’t. All she could do was clutch the reins for dear life.

The wind roared past, stinging her ears.

In the end, the horse went faster and faster. If Qin Yi had not been holding her around the waist, she would likely have been flung off the moment all four of the horse’s hooves left the ground.

“Whoa—”

Qin Yi hauled on the reins. The fierce horse let out a long neigh, its front hooves soaring high into the air.

Yan Tongshu lost her balance and fell backward.

At last, the horse came to a stop.

Yan Tongshu was furious. She drove an elbow backward with all her strength. “What the hell is wrong with you?”

Qin Yi let out a muffled groan. His arm remained across Yan Tongshu’s abdomen as he endured the pain and said, “I was wrong.”

Yan Tongshu froze, her ears twitching.

She had heard that correctly, hadn’t she?

The dog emperor was actually admitting fault.

The wind rushed around them.

The violent ride had left her breathing ragged.

Qin Yi was the same. He gently rested his chin on Yan Tongshu’s shoulder, breathing heavily. “Yan Tongshu.”

Yan Tongshu said, “Hmm?”

Qin Yi’s voice was hoarse. “I feel awful.”

Yan Tongshu snapped, “You deserve it. You charged forward so violently, then stopped so suddenly. Of course you feel awful.”

Never mind Qin Yi—she was a little winded herself and feeling rather uncomfortable.

Yan Tongshu quietly waited for Qin Yi to regain his breath.

The two of them sat on the same horse, her back pressed against his chest. She could clearly feel Qin Yi’s heart pounding from the exertion of riding, and with his chin resting against her shoulder, she could also hear his hurried breathing.

As time slowly passed, Qin Yi’s breathing steadied considerably, though it was still somewhat heavy.

Leaning against Yan Tongshu, Qin Yi gradually adjusted his breathing.

In the sunlight, the tips of Yan Tongshu’s ears were tinged faintly red from the wind. Thin and translucent, they looked just as they had in his dream. Her earlobes were small and delicate, without piercings.

From the base of her ear to her jawline, the curve was smooth and gentle.

Her neck was pale and slender, hidden in the shadow of her crossed collar.

When they had galloped at full speed moments ago, the wind had blown her collar slightly open, revealing a small section of her collarbone—fair and smooth, like the finest white jade.

His hand was still clasped around her waist.

She was neither plump nor thin; her waist fit perfectly in his grasp, soft as a bundle of cotton.

Dream and reality continued to alternate.

“Qin Yi, I can feel it.”

“Your body is being very honest.”

“You want it. You do.”

The voice from his dream echoed in his ears once more.

Qin Yi’s gaze deepened.

Yes. He wanted it.

He wanted to possess everything with a kind of madness.

Yan Tongshu felt the arm around her waist tighten. Qin Yi pulled her closer until their bodies were pressed together, then rested his head against her shoulder. “Don’t move. Let me recover.”

Yan Tongshu turned her head slightly. “You’re still uncomfortable?”

Qin Yi gave a soft “Mm.” “Uncomfortable. So unbearably uncomfortable.”

After a while, Qin Yi loosened his hold a little. Yan Tongshu turned to glare at him, ready to demand what on earth had gotten into him, but Qin Yi struck first.

“I am the Son of Heaven.”

Seeing the disgruntled and astonished look on her face, Qin Yi smiled. “You’re allowed to strike first, and whenever you’re unhappy, you use my identity to make a fuss and drive me out. But I’m not allowed to change identities? Yan Tongshu, that’s a double standard.”

You—you—you—

You’re the one with the double standard!

Caught off guard by the old matter being brought up, Yan Tongshu said guiltily, “I understand.”

“Let’s go.” Qin Yi tugged on the reins. “We’re heading back.”

Yan Tongshu gave a quiet “Oh,” while inwardly grumbling: What a strange man. His mood changes at the drop of a hat.

Compared with their full-speed charge on the way there, Qin Yi rode much more slowly on the return journey, at little more than a leisurely walk.

The autumn wind swept across the mottled grass, while the horse’s hooves moved at an unhurried pace, appearing and disappearing among the meadow.

The two of them sat astride the horse. Qin Yi held the reins with one hand, letting the horse amble along, while his other arm rested loosely around Yan Tongshu’s waist.

“Master Yuanhui’s prayer beads,” Qin Yi suddenly said, his tone casual. “You gave them to Meng Zheng?”

Yan Tongshu plucked a leaf from the roadside and toyed with it in her fingers. She replied absentmindedly, “Yes. He gave me an enormous, exquisitely crafted nine-tailed fox lantern during the Lantern Festival, so naturally I had to give him a gift in return.”

Qin Yi pressed his lips together. The hand gripping the reins tightened slightly. “Because you’re friends?”

“Mm.” Yan Tongshu let the leaf slip from her fingers. She looked into the distance. The autumn sky was clear, with wispy clouds stretched across it, and an eagle glided past overhead.

“What about me?” Qin Yi asked.

“What?” Yan Tongshu failed to follow the sudden turn in the conversation.

Qin Yi paused, then added, “We’re friends too.”

He pronounced the word “friends” with particular emphasis, as though trying to underscore something.

Yan Tongshu froze for a moment before explaining, “That was a return gift.”

“I’ve given you plenty of things too.” There was a hint of stubborn possessiveness in Qin Yi’s voice. Afraid Yan Tongshu might grow suspicious, he tried to conceal his unruly emotions by deliberately raising his volume a little. “Yan Tongshu! How many things have I given you? Gold, silver, jewels, antiques, jade ornaments, all kinds of food—and lychees…”

“Weren’t the lychees your betrothal gift to Yuanzi?” Yan Tongshu asked in confusion.

“If they really were a betrothal gift…”

There had only been five living lychee trees in total. Did he really have to give away four of them? Couldn’t he have simply picked one?

Qin Yi hesitated, then fell silent.

Yan Tongshu continued to argue, “The others were rewards you gave me as a king, in recognition of my service.”

Those were the performance bonuses she had worked hard to earn. How could he lump them together with anything else?

Qin Yi was silent for a moment before asking, “Did you give Meng Zheng mooncakes for the Mid-Autumn Festival too?”

Yan Tongshu found the question utterly baffling, but answered honestly, “I prepared a lot of gift boxes. Naturally, Meng Zheng got one.”

Qin Yi asked, “What kind of mooncakes did you give him?”

Yan Tongshu replied, “Beef mooncakes and taro-paste mooncakes.”

Qin Yi ground his back teeth together. “Why didn’t I get any taro-paste mooncakes?”

Yan Tongshu stared at him, eyes wide. “Your Majesty, you’re not short of mooncakes, are you?”

Qin Yi was perfectly unapologetic. “We’re both your friends. Yan Tongshu, don’t you think you’re treating us too differently?”

“Then if you’re going to count things that way, Meng Zheng doesn’t have a revolving lantern either!” Yan Tongshu immediately shot back.

“But he has the prayer beads you gave him.” Qin Yi’s voice was stiff, the words crashing down like a stone.

Yan Tongshu was speechless. What, exactly, was he so hung up on?

She ventured, “Then… shall we call it even?”

“It’s not the same.” Qin Yi stubbornly insisted. “The prayer beads were something you obtained only after climbing all the way up Jixiang Mountain, going to Xiangguo Temple, making one detour after another, racking your brains, and going through untold hardship to ask Master Yuanhui for them.”

Yan Tongshu: “…”

It really hadn’t been that difficult.

The Yan family had already been planning to go up the mountain. She had simply happened to need the beads and happened to have the opportunity, so she had decided to try her luck and seek out Master Yuanhui.

Qin Yi’s voice came down coldly, carrying an unquestionable imperial authority. “Yan Tongshu, you haven’t put any thought into me. I’m very unhappy.”

Aaahhh!

Yan Tongshu was screaming and tearing her hair out inwardly. Over a string of prayer beads, the dog emperor had actually used his imperial status to pressure her!

He was sick!

Completely sick!

…

When she returned to the tent, Yan Tongshu was trembling with rage.

That dog emperor.

That sick dog emperor!

What had she even done to him?

If he loved getting angry so much, he might as well make himself angry to death.

Jinbao brought her a cup of warm tea, and Yan Tongshu angrily gulped it down.

Jinbao then brought over some pastries. “Young Master, what’s wrong? Who upset you?”

“Jinbao, let me ask you something.” Yan Tongshu’s chest heaved as she spoke, her voice full of grievance. “You, Pearl, and I are close, aren’t we?”

Jinbao nodded.

Of course they were.

Wasn’t he and Pearl the young master’s closest friends?

Yan Tongshu tried asking, “Then… if I gave Pearl a present but didn’t give you one, would you be angry?”

Could friends really get angry over something like that?

Jinbao nodded vigorously. “Young Master, you and Pearl aren’t allowed to exclude me.”

Yan Tongshu: “…”

You really are mad?