Close Friends
...What does it have to do with you?
The indifferent words almost blurted out.
But Shuangjian forcefully choked back this almost instinctive repulsion.
His gaze fell upon the nervous face of his fellow disciple in front of him, realizing that any impolite or aggressive response might be relayed word for word into Yingshi's ears through her mouth.
And Yingshi had once said that she appreciated Duan Qinghe's politeness.
Therefore, he remained silent.
Yet his thoughts were in an endless turmoil, giving rise to a subtle sense of apprehension: did Yingshi send this person?
Those two questions... were they also Yingshi's instructions?
Or was this person prying and overstepping on her own?
Feeling the icy gaze cast upon her face, Xinmei felt as if she had thorns on her back. She looked as though she was still standing there, but her mind had already fled a while ago.
When a normal person is asked a direct question, even if they don't want to answer, they would say something to stall. But Junior Brother Han was indeed not a normal person. Confronting him would only result in herself getting hurt... It was her fault that under pressure she had forgotten all the roundabout rhetoric she prepared before coming, actually pointing everything out so bluntly!
Xinmei was so embarrassed she wanted to dig a hole and bury herself. The stalemate lasted for half a minute, yet it felt as long as half a year. Finally unable to withstand this suffocating silence, she moved her feet slightly, deciding to make a run for it first!
But...
I only see Yingshi as a close friend.
The voice stated calmly.
After Shuangjian finished speaking, his lips pressed tightly together, feeling as if something was blocking his chest, making his breathing sluggish.
Being Dao companions was impossible.
To murder one's child, slaughter a village, destroy the world, lose oneself, and fall into madness because of so-called love for someone... he didn't want to experience that kind of love.
It was a terrifying, filthy, and destructive thing.
All his yearning, approaching, indulging, and respect for Yingshi were originally driven by his pursuit of freedom.
Even if those emotions later mingled with difficult-to-untangle self-shame, guilt, panic, and even infatuation, it was merely an instinct born from his attempt to make it up to Yingshi beneath the lies.
Perhaps he did find Yingshi adorable yet pitiful, but he absolutely did not want to have the same kind of relationship with her as his biological parents had.
In countless moments of mental confusion, he had indeed made inappropriate choices, but those were merely due to the side effects of the blood pact. And his choice to form the blood pact was only a vain attempt to create a connection with Yingshi, to better grasp this key, forcibly creating a red string of fate that would not lose its efficacy over time—even if he hadn't thought it through clearly when forming the pact, he should realize it now.
Including all the delusions and schemes that arose in the Infernal Temple, which were essentially his greed acting up...
Even if he developed the wild fantasy of breaking the barriers of the world, it was all because of his desire to explore the Great Thousand World that looked down upon this world, and his desire for revenge against the rules that once restricted him, not because he wanted to return with Yingshi to the hometown she longed for... Was it? He would just consider it to be so.
See, peeling back the layers, analyzing everything logically, the cause and effect were clear.
Everything had an absolutely rational and clear logical starting point.
Everything should absolutely not stem from the reason that he loved Yingshi and wanted to become Dao companions with her.
Fortunately.
With such an absolutely selfish original intention anchoring him, all this would not be love.
He and Yingshi were the best friends in this world, who could always accompany each other, walk together to the end of time, and never be separated.
They would never, ever become Dao companions connected by love.
He clearly thought it through so thoroughly, so why did that heavy sense of suppression in his heart linger?
Shuangjian forcefully ignored the struggle and discomfort in his mind that was eager to deny something, and repeated with difficulty once more: ...We are close friends.
...
Xinmei nodded blankly.
...
When Xinmei returned, Yingshi was chopping filling ingredients in the newly cleared small kitchen on Wendao Peak.
There was only a large iron wok fired by firewood here, without high-tech appliances like an electric baking pan. She wasn't a master chef either, so trying to replicate a stuffed flatbread was truly not easy.
Her mind was preoccupied with the results of Xinmei's probing, so much so that she didn't notice the cabbage was being chopped finer and finer until all its moisture was lost and it had turned into powder.
That was when Xinmei suddenly appeared.
Her eyes flickered, not mentioning a word about their previous discussion. She only leaned in and praised the vegetable scraps on the cutting board, Haha, it looks so delicious, Yingshi. I can't wait to taste it.
Catching Xinmei's dry laugh, Yingshi's hand holding the kitchen knife paused.
Xinmei was similarly not someone skilled at hiding things, otherwise Yingshi wouldn't have discovered she was a wandering soul causing havoc with fake ink right upon their first meeting.
At this moment, the more she pretended nothing had happened, the colder Yingshi's heart became.
She asked with a bit of resentment, Xinmei, was the result of the probing bad?
Sigh, it's not exactly bad, Xinmei sighed. I just suddenly feel that you are not a match for Junior Brother Han. Yingshi, listen to my advice, do not fall in love with Junior Brother Han... Liking him is fine, but do not fall in love with him.
...What do you mean?
The push-and-pull tactics I told you about, he has already put into practice to perfection. Xinmei pulled out a small stool and sat down, her expression solemn. I taught you to do ambiguous things under the guise of being a junior sister or a friend, but he has completely mastered it without a teacher... This person actually said he sees you as a close friend.
Close friend?
Yingshi thoughtfully savored these two words.
A close friend meant the best of friends, a unique and irreplaceable companion...
Wasn't this a good thing?
Wasn't this exactly the precious relationship she had most desired since she transmigrated?
Listening to the crackling of firewood in the stove, Xinmei nervously watched Yingshi's profile, having already prepared a basket full of comforting words.
However, she saw Yingshi still wearing that expression of slight pleasant surprise amidst her confusion, asking back, Isn't this great?
Eh? Xinmei was stunned. What's great about it? Don't you like him? He said you're just a close friend, aren't you sad?
First of all, I'm not that greedy yet... Secondly, I've always felt that when two people are together, the best relationship is being each other's best friend. How could this be something to be sad about?
Xinmei was actually stunned by her words. Pondering over them, she felt there was indeed some truth to it!
But what Junior Brother Han said and did were different. Looking at his behavior, who wouldn't suspect that he liked Yingshi?
In the end, he kept defining their relationship as close friends. This was clearly not a simple man... She only hoped Yingshi wouldn't be completely mesmerized by him!
It's also possible that I don't feel sad because I don't feel Shuangjian's rejection towards me. Yingshi whispered with a bit of a guilty conscience, I have this inexplicable confidence that if I really confessed my feelings to him, he... probably would find it very hard to refuse me.
Yingshi lowered her eyes, a blush creeping onto her face as she spoke.
What happened that night in the Infernal Temple was known only to her and Shuangjian.
There were too many unspoken emotions flowing between them, the kind not meant for outsiders. Even if they couldn't be captured precisely, it was impossible not to realize that the feelings were mutual.
"Alright. Anyway, don't forget our strategy," Xinmei could only remind her dryly. "Seduce only, no confessing!"
"Understood!" Yingshi gave a solemn salute.
...
In the end, Xinmei and Wei Kai couldn't make it to the pie banquet Yingshi had so carefully prepared.
Her dough wasn't kneaded perfectly, the filling was a bit bland, and although she managed to start a fire using spiritual energy, she had no idea how to control the heat of the iron wok.
After half a day of struggling, she only managed to pan-fry two edible, palm-sized stuffed pies.
Moreover, it was getting late. As the fifteenth of the lunar month approached, the perfectly round moon had already quietly climbed up the treetops, and Master Xuanzhen had come to find Xinmei and the others to head back.
With her hard-won cabbage pies that had barely survived the cooking process, Yingshi had only one person left to share them with: Shuangjian.
But before she could hand him the porcelain plate holding the pies, Shuangjian took out a medicine bottle and offered it to her.
"To replenish your blood," he said in a low voice.
"I'm not bleeding." Yingshi placed the plate on the table, rubbed her palms together, and pushed the medicine bottle back into Shuangjian's hand. "If we're talking about those faded wounds from the Wujian Temple, you bled several times more than I did."
Her voice dropped slightly. Recalling that shocking scene, she still felt a lingering fear.
She hadn't planned to say much more about the instance that had already ended, but Shuangjian's concern opened the floodgates. Yingshi couldn't help but say, "If only I could have been a bit more useful. I knew the Buddha statues were looking more and more like me, and that everyone would inevitably rise up in revolt, yet I didn't know how to brainwash everyone with my words early on... so when the incident happened, we were caught off guard..."
Shuangjian looked at her and said earnestly, "You have already done very well. Far better than me."
"..." Yingshi blinked, saying nothing.
"You don't need to worry that I felt the pain when the crowd destroyed the Buddha statues. Those injuries merely looked frightening; I didn't actually feel them on my body," Shuangjian lied without batting an eye. "Just like when your Buddha statue crumbled at the end, you didn't feel anything either."
"Phew... That makes me feel a bit better."
Yingshi evidently bought it and breathed a sigh of relief.
She pushed the porcelain plate with the pies forward a bit more and said with some expectation, "Remember the cabbage pies I told you about before? I made them! Although they aren't quite as delicious as the ones from my past life, the flavor is very similar. Hurry up and try one!"
"...Thank you."
Yingshi stared intently at Shuangjian. The moment his fingertips touched the slightly hot crust, she silently took out the small handkerchief she had prepared and offered it to him.
Shuangjian opened his mouth and took a small, gentle bite of the crust. For some reason, she held her breath, as if that bite had been taken out of her.
...Shuangjian's lips were really beautifully shaped.
Even his chewing was elegant. His Adam's apple bobbed slightly as he swallowed, something she had once been in close contact with.
Yingshi withdrew her wandering, suspicious gaze, cleared her throat, and asked, "How does it taste?"
Shuangjian's eyelashes were half-lowered, casting small shadows under his eyes. The moment Yingshi asked her question, his chewing paused ever so slightly.
Immediately after, Yingshi caught a very light, brief gasp from him. Then, to suppress this gasp, he subconsciously pursed his lips, but his lips quietly turned a bit redder. How could he be so sensitive?
Was this the baseline tongue of someone who had never tasted a hint of spice?
Yingshi hurriedly handed over the water and handkerchief together, feeling guilty. "Is it too spicy? I put in a tiny bit of chili, but I didn't expect your sense of taste to be so sharp."
Shuangjian raised his eyes to look at her. Those usually calm eyes now seemed to be tinged with a faint watery glint from that slight spiciness, actually making Yingshi find him somewhat beguiling... Good heavens, who could she complain to about her teammate being a natural incubus?
She flusteredly looked away, playing the role of a reliable best friend. She picked up the second pie from the plate, put it in her mouth, and said seriously, "Let me taste it and see how I can improve..."
But Shuangjian said, "No need for improvement. It is very delicious."
He had simply never tasted anything with such rich flavors before; it was completely incomparable to dry rations.
And this was made for him by Yingshi. At this thought, the slight numbness on the tip of his tongue traveled all the way to his chest. He felt a bit reluctant to finish this special pie.
His gaze fell on Yingshi's face as she ate.
When she ate, she would hold the food with both hands. Although she took careful bites, the rich juices from the pie still stained her lips.
Perhaps his stare made her uncomfortable, as she chewed absentmindedly, occasionally meeting his gaze. The pie crust brushed against the corner of her mouth... By the time Shuangjian realized it, he had already taken the clean handkerchief and gently wiped the corner of Yingshi's lips.
Even through the fabric, his fingertips could feel the softness of the skin around her lips. His movement paused for a second, and so Yingshi also stopped what she was doing, raised her eyes, and looked at him in a slight daze.
Their eyes met.
Shuangjian restrainedly and swiftly pulled his hand back. He lowered his eyes, clutched the handkerchief, which now seemed to carry her scent, in his palm, and sat up straight.
"...You had something on your face."
He explained briefly, his tone seemingly drier than usual.
"Mhm..." Yingshi replied. She hurriedly took a breath, picked up her cup to drink water, and pretended to be overwhelmed by the spice in an attempt to cool down the heat in her cheeks.
Her gaze drifted to the candlestick on the table, then to the moon outside the window, and she whispered, "...Thanks."
She felt her cheeks burning a little. In that instant just now, Shuangjian's presence had been so close, his eyes so deep, and his touch so gentle that her heart had skipped a beat.
She couldn't help but space out, wondering: if she used her past life as a reference, would a good friend wipe her mouth while she was eating?
...Rarely, but not never.
Then she couldn't help but wonder again: would a good friend keep staring at her lips after wiping them?
Hmm... To be determined.
