The cursing from below the teahouse was loud and clear; even through two layers of wooden boards, one could hear someone verbally assaulting the Xu family's ancestors for eighteen generations.
Xu Qinghuan held a handful of melon seeds, listening with great relish. This was the most pleasant melody she had heard in the past two months.
Xu Youde was anxiously pacing in the back hall of the county magistrate's office, terrified that the surging public sentiment would smash down the Xu family's front gate.
Xu Qinghuan was in no hurry.
She even felt the fire wasn't hot enough yet; it needed more fuel.
A commotion arose from the alley entrance downstairs.
It was Lai San, the notorious ruffian from the west side of town, used to throwing his weight around. Even seeing the Xu family's seal pasted on the wall, he still unbuckled his belt and aimed for the base of the wall.
Just as Lai San was about to open the floodgates, several figures in yellow uniforms emerged from the shadows.
They weren't house servants or guards, but a group of disabled men missing arms or legs.
Leading them was Pockmarked Liu, holding a short iron-tipped club, his coarse face twitching.
Lai San was startled, his urgent need to relieve himself abruptly stifled.
"What's the big idea?" Lai San blustered, holding up his pants. "Is it a crime for a man to take a piss now?"
Pockmarked Liu didn't speak, just waved his hand.
The dozen or so "useless men" from the Night Soil Department didn't lay a hand on him either. They simply formed a circle, staring fixedly at Lai San's lower regions.
A blind man, though he couldn't see, had his two dark, empty eye sockets pointed right at Lai San, which was even more unnerving than being seen.
Lai San wanted to run, but his legs seemed nailed to the ground.
Pockmarked Liu took an hourglass from his robe, flipped it over, and placed it on the ground.
"Go ahead," Pockmarked Liu said, his voice not loud. "The young mistress says if you don't want to use the latrine, that's fine. Do it right here. After you're done, scoop it up with your own hands and go bury it outside the city walls. Then I won't fine you."
Bystanders had gathered, forming several thick rings around them.
No matter how thick-skinned Lai San was, he couldn't attend to his bodily functions under the collective stare of a bunch of cripples and half the county's population.
This humiliation was worse than a beating.
"I... I'll go to the latrine!" Lai San cracked, pulling out a handful of copper coins and scattering them on the ground. "I'll pay, alright?!"
Pockmarked Liu stepped on the pile of coins and pointed towards the pay-per-use latrine at the alley entrance.
Lai San, legs clamped together, scrambled awkwardly into the wooden hut bearing the sign "Xu Family Clean House."
Upstairs, Xu Qinghuan tossed her melon seed shells into a dish.
This was exactly the effect she wanted.
As long as she made these troublemakers feel insulted, made them believe the Xu family was trampling their dignity underfoot for money, this infamy would be firmly established.
Such a perverse method of extortion was enough to earn her a prominent, darkly inked chapter in the history books among the biographies of treacherous officials.
But the situation seemed to be developing... oddly.
Two days later, the teahouse owner personally brought up a pot of premium Biluochun tea, his face creased with a beaming smile.
"Miss Xu, your move was truly inspired," the owner said, pointing out the window. "Just look at the street."
Xu Qinghuan followed his finger.
The long street, once flowing with sewage and swarming with flies, was now so clean you could see your reflection.
The years of grime lodged between the bluestone slabs had been scrubbed spotless by the restless members of the Night Soil Department.
The ever-present sour stench in the air was gone, replaced by the faint fragrance of pagoda tree blossoms from the roadside.
The shops lining the street were doing booming business.
Before, people had to walk on tiptoe, afraid of stepping on a "landmine." Who had the mind to shop? Now the road was level, the ground clean, and people were willing to linger on the streets longer.
Xu Qinghuan's teacup wavered in her hand.
She wanted widespread complaints, not peace and prosperity.
While she was still dumbfounded, heavy footsteps sounded from the stairwell.
Squire Zhao, accompanied by several local gentry, huffed and puffed their way up, presenting a brocade banner.
Embroidered on it in glittering gold thread were four large characters: Cleansing the Filth.
"Miss Xu, your righteousness!" Squire Zhao thrust the banner towards Xu Qinghuan. "This old man has lived in Taoyuan County for forty years and never seen streets so fresh and clean. This is a great deed that benefits our hometown!"
Xu Qinghuan looked at the banner, feeling the gold thread sting her eyes.
Had the script been flipped?
She was here to disgust people, not to launch a sanitation campaign!
"Take it away," Xu Qinghuan turned her head aside. "I did this to collect money, not to hear your flattery."
Squire Zhao and the others exchanged glances, their faces wearing an expression that said, "I understand, such great kindness needs no thanks."
"Of course, of course, collecting money, collecting money," Squire Zhao placed a stack of banknotes on the table. "This is a collection from our few businesses, a token for tea money for the brothers of the Night Soil Department. We'll continue to rely on you, Miss Xu, for the street's cleanliness."
Xu Qinghuan looked at the stack of banknotes, feeling a tightness in her chest.
She wanted to throw the money back, to tell these people she didn't need money—she needed a bad reputation.
But Li Sheng, that clueless fellow, had already tucked the money into his robe.
"Young mistress, rest assured," Li Sheng grinned from ear to ear. "Once this money is entered into the accounts, our Night Soil Department can issue new clothes to those disabled men next month."
Xu Qinghuan didn't want to speak.
She got up and went downstairs, deciding to head outside the city walls.
These wealthy folks in the city must have something wrong with their heads. The farmers outside the city should still hate her, right? After all, she had monopolized all the fertilizer sources.
Just outside the city gate, she saw dust flying over the empty ground in the west.
Hundreds of farmers, holding carrying poles and manure buckets, were shoving and pushing with the Night Soil Department men. The scene was extremely chaotic.
Xu Qinghuan's heart leapt with joy.
Finally, a fight.
This was the scene she wanted to see: the common people, unable to bear the humiliation, gathering to riot, rebelling against the Xu family's tyranny.
"Stop!" Xu Qinghuan hurried over, her face lit with excitement at the prospect of chaos. "Who's causing trouble? Beat them soundly!"
The group of farmers turned their heads in unison at the sound.
Xu Qinghuan waited to see their furious eyes.
Instead, she was met with faces full of anxiety, eagerness, and even a hint of fawning.
"Miss Xu!" An old farmer threw himself to his knees with a thud. "Please, I beg you, show some mercy and sell some to me! The crops in my field are turning yellow, they're waiting for this mouthful of 'golden juice' to save them!"
Xu Qinghuan froze.
Sell what?
Li Sheng squeezed out from the crowd, sweating profusely, still clutching an account book.
"Young mistress, the situation is completely out of control," Li Sheng wiped his sweat. "These farmers heard we've collected all the night soil from the city for centralized fermentation and processing, and they're insisting on buying it. They say our fertilizer is potent, not watered down."
In ancient times, human and animal waste was the sole source of fertilizer, something more precious than grain, colloquially called "golden juice."
Previously, each household kept their own for their fields, and the city's waste was controlled by various "waste lords."
Xu Qinghuan's monopolizing move, though originally intended to disgust people, had objectively created a large-scale organic fertilizer processing center.
The fertilizer, after centralized fermentation, was indeed much more potent than raw waste.
"I'll pay three coppers a bucket!" a man shouted, holding up copper coins. "Don't anyone try to outbid me!"
"I'll pay four!" another voice immediately topped him.
The scene of a potential brawl instantly turned into an auction.
Xu Qinghuan watched these farmers, flushed and arguing over a bucket of excrement, and felt her worldview crumbling.
She pulled this stunt to make it impossible for people to relieve themselves, to create trouble.
But now the trouble had turned into a resource, a bad policy into a benefit for farmers, and even human waste could be turned into money?
"Don't rush!" Li Sheng, with a keen business mind, shouted, "Form a line! There's enough for everyone! The young mistress says this belongs to the people and serves the people. Two coins per bucket, fixed price—no gouging!"
The crowd erupted in cheers.
"Miss Xu is so righteous!"
"A living Bodhisattva! She even thinks about what our crops need to eat!"
Xu Qinghuan stood rooted to the spot, listening to the overwhelming praise, her head buzzing.
She didn't even have the energy to scold Li Sheng for taking matters into his own hands.
This money was too dirty, and it came too fast.
Night.
Xu Qinghuan lay on the recliner in her study, staring blankly at the ceiling beams.
The account book was right beside her.
After this whole operation, deducting the costs for paying the night soil collectors' wages and buying tools, the Xu family hadn't lost money. Instead, through toilet fees, fines, and fertilizer sales, they had made a net profit of over three thousand taels of silver.
Even more terrifying was the reputation.
Now the whole city was singing praises of how the Xu family's young mistress had ingeniously tackled pollution, calling her a goddess who swept away filth.
She was clearly the villain.
A malicious supporting character who wanted to drive the entire city's populace mad.
How had she become an environmental ambassador?
The system in her mind, which had been playing dead all this time, suddenly pinged.
Xu Qinghuan's heart tightened.
[Large-scale group emotional fluctuation detected.]
[Reward determined: Pension increased by 800,000 yuan.]
Xu Qinghuan sat up in joy, her movement so abrupt she knocked over the teacup on the table.
Eight hundred thousand.
Added to what she had before, her pension was now an astronomical figure.
But that progress bar for going home hadn't budged an inch.
What use was all this money?
What she wanted was exile, family confiscation, mission failure and repatriation.
Not to be a beloved local landlord here.
The night watchman's clapper sounded outside the window.
Moonlight spilled onto the bluestone-paved road, clean to the point of feeling desolate.
Xu Qinghuan walked to the window, looking at this "governed" Taoyuan County she had created with her own hands.
Too clean.
Xu Qinghuan slammed the window shut hard.
Well, at least she made money. Right?
