Give Me These Dog-Blooded Tropes—I’m Too Numb to Be Buried by Them Again
The Jiuhua Sect’s once-every-sixty-years entrance examination finally came to an end amid a sea of stunned faces and dislocated jaws. Shu Fu had placed first in all three examinations, then put on a dramatic performance at the awards ceremony featuring a live Foundation Establishment breakthrough and a play entitled I Killed the Scumbag.
It was everything people loved to see: satisfying, cathartic, and cause for celebration. News of it spread far and wide.
After that came the utterly predictable standard ending: everyone went back to their own homes to find their own mothers.
Shu Fu finally moved into Yaoguang Peak with every right to do so, reuniting with the sect family she had been eagerly awaiting. Her Second Senior Sister, Zhao Yun, was thousands of li away in Dongzhou. Upon hearing that she had a junior sister, she was overjoyed and sent back a collection of gifts—mostly clothes and jewelry, rouge and face powder, the sorts of things girls liked, along with quite a few exquisite and attractive magical artifacts.
A seal was pasted across the gift box:
“Men and geese are forbidden from using these without permission.”
Liu Ruyi: “...Just how does she see me?”
Shu Fu: “...As a fellow sister, probably.”
A plastic sister, at that.
Princess Zhaoyun seemed to have remained hung up on the fact that “a male goose is prettier than me.”
As for everyone else, the sword cultivator Yao Huang went to Tianxuan Peak. Bai Tian, a spell cultivator, was taken to Yuheng Peak by the legendary hunk—er, by “Master Bailian,” Xu Yunlong, who had taken a liking to her.
Shu Fu could not help suspecting that Master Bailian had been too lazy to choose carefully and had simply picked someone whose name sounded similar to his own. After all, raising one disciple or another was all the same to him.
Tian Xin lingered around the Jiuhua Sect for several months, making several trips to Yuheng Peak to visit. She became deeply enamored of Master Bailian’s bearing and, having tasted an inch, demanded a mile: she asked Jiang Xuesheng if she could remain at the Jiuhua Sect and become a ghost cultivator under Master Bailian.
Shu Fu felt that this was probably a case of spiritual Li Yunlongs recognizing one another.
Xu Yunlong was indeed a straightforward man. Since he had to raise disciples anyway, raising one was no different from raising two. He readily agreed to take in Tian Xin as a buy-one-get-one-free disciple. Since Tian Xin was no longer alive, she was not bound by the trials of Xianyun Terrace and could come and go freely within the Jiuhua Sect.
However, before she could officially begin cultivating, she still needed to spend a long period of time nourishing her weakened soul in a jade bottle.
Then there was Ye Shusheng, a rare pure body cultivator. None of the Jiuhua Sect’s peaks knew what to do with him, and they were at a loss as to which peak he should be assigned to. In the end, Yun Ying suggested that most of the sword cultivators at Tianxuan Peak followed the path of body tempering. Although the peak master, Master Mingxiao, was away traveling and could not take on disciples, the other disciples could spar and exchange insights with Ye Shusheng, improving together.
Ye Shusheng readily agreed, and so he settled down at Tianxuan Peak.
He was a gentleman who respected women and, unlike Qi Yuxuan, held no contempt for female sword cultivators. Before long, he had become close with the senior brothers and sisters of Tianxuan Peak, and they were as intimate as one family.
Several years later, the sword cultivators decided that “there was nothing left they could teach him.” As a group, they wrote him a letter of introduction and sent him to study at the Thousand Lantern Temple—the largest body-cultivation sect in the Five Continents, as well as a Buddhist sect.
From then on, Ye Shusheng gained the additional attribute of a holy monk, making him look even more well-matched with the fox demon.
Of course, all of that is a story for another time.
But enough about that. Let us turn to another thread of the tale.
During the entrance trials, Fang Wanqing, Fang Han, Lin Xiaomei, and the others all failed. Knowing she had nowhere else to go, Fang Wanqing decided that clinging to someone powerful was her only option. She resorted to the classic routine of crying, throwing a tantrum, and threatening suicide, refusing to let go until, in the end, she managed to stay by Qi Yuxuan’s side as an unofficial “family member.”
Master Jinghai refused to take on this burden, so she had no choice but to settle on Celestial Pivot Peak.
Back then, she had spread rumors that Jiang Ruoshui was shamelessly pestering people. She had never imagined that one day she would end up in the same situation herself.
The Jiuhua Sect’s laws were strict. Fang Wanqing had committed a grave taboo during the entrance trials, and under normal circumstances, she would not have been allowed to set foot inside the sect. Now, in order to remain there, she had to spend every day confined to her quarters copying scriptures and performing hard labor. Her living conditions were unbearably harsh, and she was denied even the slightest benefit from the Fang family or Master Huaigu.
In fact, even the Fang family had given up on her. After all, she was hardly their only daughter.
At Jiuhua Sect, she could live only at the very foot of Celestial Pivot Peak. Her quarters were bare walls and little else. All her magical treasures and elixirs had been confiscated, and she was served two meals a day consisting of British-style nightmare cuisine—from potato stew to stargazy pie. After eating it for a month, she felt like throwing up at the sight of every meal.
A noble young lady from a prestigious cultivation clan had willingly chosen to remain by Qi Yuxuan’s side, only to end up living worse than an ordinary mortal’s servant girl. It was a spectacle in its own right.
The exalted status of a personal disciple she had enjoyed in her previous life, along with the sycophants who had once flocked around her, now seemed like a distant, unreal dream.
The suffering Jiang Ruoshui had endured in the original story had now become Fang Wanqing’s own immersive experience.
What Fang Wanqing found even harder to bear was that every time she stepped outside her room, countless disciples would point at her and whisper among themselves with strange expressions on their faces:
“See her? That’s the legendary Miss Fang.”
“The Fang family? Which Fang family? Oh, I know—the clan protected by Master Huaigu, right? I heard they rode on Celestial Pivot Peak’s coattails and grew immensely wealthy. They’re rich enough to rival a kingdom, and everyone envies them.”
“Exactly. And yet, even with all that, Miss Fang still wasn’t satisfied. She had to set her sights on Junior Sister Jiang’s fiancé.”
“Junior Brother Qi is pretty heartless too. If you’d fallen for someone else, you could have apologized sincerely and broken off the engagement. But no—he let Miss Fang slander Junior Sister Jiang while he sat back and reaped the benefits. Talk about taking sides. It’s so crooked you can’t even look at it…”
“Hey, enough. Junior Brother Qi and Miss Fang—they’re clearly a match made in heaven, aren’t they? I just hope they grow old together and stop ruining anyone else’s life.”
“Ah, what a beauty she was born to be, yet she chose to become a thief!”
“That’s a pretty good line. Who came up with it, and who was it meant for? Never mind. Whoever it originally described, I still feel you’ve insulted the saying by using it here.”
“…”
Every time Fang Wanqing went out, she returned dejected and defeated. She would then shut herself away for days, refusing to get out of bed unless Qi Yuxuan coaxed her with kisses and cuddles.
As for Qi Yuxuan, his own days were hardly going well either.
Ever since Fang Wanqing’s schemes had been exposed to the world, the two of them had been branded as a “shameless pair,” their reputations plummeting overnight. Everyone’s attitude toward them had undergone a complete reversal. Although Master Jinghai clung to the last thread of hope and, ignoring the sect leader’s advice, insisted on taking Qi Yuxuan as his disciple, even that could not change the way Qi Yuxuan was treated within the sect.
Because everyone knew he was a complete piece of shit.
What was more, the “talent” Qi Yuxuan had always been so proud of had taken a severe hit after being struck by heavenly lightning twice. His injuries had compounded, and his abilities had inevitably declined. He could no longer look down upon the world and stand unrivaled as he had in the original novel.
Now, he was nothing more than an ordinary, rather dim-witted boy.
Unlike him, Yao Huang, another sword cultivator, was equally gifted while also being diligent and ambitious. She did not spend every day looking gloomy and miserable, moping around like he did. Compared with Tianxuan Peak and Yaoguang Peak, Tianji Peak still suffered a crushing defeat this time, with no chance whatsoever of turning the tables.
Disappointed, Master Jinghai’s attitude toward Qi Yuxuan was no longer as warm as it had been at first. He even reprimanded him repeatedly, causing Qi Yuxuan to lose what little face he had left among his fellow disciples.
Resentment grew in Qi Yuxuan’s heart, and the rift between him and his master deepened. He would occasionally talk back, only to end up kneeling in the snow and ice like the heroine of some tragic romance novel.
Fortunately, he was sturdy enough. Otherwise, he might have frozen to death on the second night.
And so, day after day, Qi Yuxuan languished in misery, forced to watch the “female sword cultivator” he had once dismissed keep pace with him—and eventually overtake him by taking the curves. It left a truly unpleasant taste in his mouth. His mindset plummeted, and his gloom only grew heavier.
He was already injured. As long as he kept his spirits from collapsing, he might have managed. But once his mentality broke down, Shu Fu and Yao Huang left him even farther behind.
His love for Fang Wanqing remained steadfast. Yet ever since he learned what she had done, an inescapable shadow had fallen over his heart.
Every time he saw Fang Wanqing, he was reminded of how she had kept him in the dark, scheming and calculating, doing so many underhanded things. If she had succeeded, perhaps it might have been one thing. But she had lost by a single move, not only dragging him down and damaging his cultivation, but also allowing the sharp-tongued Master Tanhua to publicly put him on trial. As a result, his reputation had been utterly ruined, and overnight he had gone from the sect’s male idol to a piece of shit everyone wanted to beat down.
Faced with such a bleak reality, how could someone as self-centered as Qi Yuxuan possibly harbor no resentment?
As for Fang Wanqing, she truly did love Qi Yuxuan, the gentle and considerate boyfriend he was. But she also loved the status of invincible, all-powerful hero he had enjoyed. Now that Qi Yuxuan had lost his halo, the filter through which Fang Wanqing viewed him across two lifetimes gradually began to fade. For the first time, a trace of hesitation arose in her heart:
—Was this man really worth betting two lifetimes on?
Qi Yuxuan, meanwhile, was thinking:
—Was this woman truly worth bearing all the infamy for?
Each of them harbored their own thoughts, sharing a bed but dreaming different dreams. No one knew when it began, or who made the first move, but the first valuable incense burner in Tianquan Peak was smashed to pieces.
It was called “valuable” not because they had deliberately chosen an expensive one to destroy, but because there was not a single cheap item anywhere on Tianquan Peak.
After that, things spiraled completely out of control.
The two of them quarreled over the slightest thing every three days and had a full-blown fight every five. The disciples of Tianji Peak and Tianquan Peak were forced to listen to an entire litany of domestic squabbles and vicious bickering. Feeling as though their ears had been violated, they formed groups and petitioned the Sect Master to let them transfer to another peak.
It was said that during that period, even Master Huaigu’s old face had turned green.
Shu Fu was more than happy to see it.
—Go on, fight! Fight louder!
……
Compared with them, life at Yaoguang Peak could practically be described as “peaceful and idyllic.”
Just as Jiang Xuesheng had said, Yaoguang Peak had beautiful mountains and clear waters. It was the perfect place to recuperate. Cultivating there was practically the same as taking a vacation, and life was so comfortable it was almost decadent.
After Shu Fu officially became a disciple, Jiang Xuesheng said nothing about it. Instead, he quietly made a trip to the library at Kaiyang Peak and returned with a sword-cultivator’s manual called the *Profound Frost Formula*, which he then handed to her as though it were nothing out of the ordinary.
“What’s this?”
Shu Fu held the jade slip and turned it over several times. She had the distinct feeling that this cultivation manual was no ordinary one—even the jade slip itself exuded a chilling, sinister coldness. It was like an iron gate outdoors in the middle of a northeastern winter: lick it once, and your tongue would stick right to it.
Jiang Xuesheng smiled indifferently. “Guess.”
Shu Fu stared at the character “Profound” for a long while before cautiously asking, “Does it have something to do with Xuanyu Palace?”
Jiang Xuesheng cast her a glance. “You’re smarter than you look. That’s right. You remember Fairy Lingbo, the Sect Master of Xuanyu Palace, and Master Mingxiao, the Peak Master of Tianxuan Peak, don’t you? The *Profound Frost Formula* was created jointly by the two of them. It’s considered a precious treasure, and they’re not willing to show it to just anyone. Still, if I asked to borrow it, they could hardly refuse.”
“You’ve always wanted to join Xuanyu Palace, and you admire Master Mingxiao so much. Take it.”
Shu Fu: “……”
Good heavens. Why did this cultivation manual feel so dangerously hot to the touch?
Compared with Senior Brother Qi Yexin’s *Five Years of College Entrance Exams, Three Years of Practice Tests*, she really couldn’t decide which of the two was more valuable.
But Jiang Xuesheng had gone to such trouble for her, so she could hardly refuse. Besides, this was the cultivation manual of the goddess she had been dreaming of for ages.
Shu Fu carefully put away the jade slip, then gave Jiang Xuesheng a solemn bow. “Thank you, Master.”
Jiang Xuesheng waved a hand. “There’s no need. You and Ruyi have always been so informal with me that your sudden politeness feels strange. Of the lot of you, I doubt there’s a single one who truly regards me as a master—apart from Si Fei.”
Shu Fu’s gaze darted away as she let out two guilty little laughs. “That’s not quite true. I do respect you very much……”
Although I did commit one act of gross disrespect in the illusion, my respect for you comes straight from the heart.
Jiang Xuesheng said, “Forget it. In any case, I don’t regard you as my disciples either.”
Shu Fu: “……”
All right, then. This old man was truly and spectacularly blunt.
“But you are people of my Yaoguang Peak. So long as I am here, I cannot allow anyone to bully you.”
Jiang Xuesheng’s voice softened, and that warmth like the gentle sunlight of early spring gradually returned to his eyes and brows. Though the warmth extended only to a very limited circle, standing near him still made one’s heart feel enveloped in sunlight.
He continued slowly, “Fuer was right. There will come a day when you have to go down the mountain and gain experience on your own. I can’t follow you forever. Take the manual and cultivate properly. From now on, there will be many things you’ll have to rely on yourself to handle.”
“……”
Shu Fu looked up at him for a moment, her heart awash with complicated emotions. It felt as though there were countless things she wanted to say to him, but in the end, only one sentence rose to her lips:
“Sir, words cannot express my gratitude for your great kindness. I’ll remember this.”
Oh, no. That wasn’t all.
There was one more thing.
“—But if you call me ‘Fuer’ again, I absolutely will not answer.”
“…”
Jiang Xuesheng said, “Then how about Fufu?”
Shu Fu: “Oh, for fuck’s sake, no!!!”
Jiang Xuesheng: “I’m joking. Fuer sounds better.”
Shu Fu: “…”
“Shu Fu.”
Jiang Xuesheng suddenly called her in a solemn tone. With a breath of irritation still caught in her chest, Shu Fu was busy plotting how to make her master act a little more normal, so she answered without turning around, “What?”
“You…”
He paused briefly. His brows drew together ever so slightly, and his voice took on a rare note of seriousness.
“How have you been these past few days? You’ve been schemed against and suppressed by others, spending all your time and energy contending with them. Has any of that made you unhappy? You refused my protection, so I let you handle things on your own—but did that cause you hardship or make you feel wronged?”
“I am not human, and I may not always be able to fully understand your feelings. If there is anything I have failed to consider properly, you may tell me directly.”
“…?”
Shu Fu turned toward him in surprise.
From the way he was speaking, it almost sounded as though he was… worried about her.
Jiang Xuesheng? Worried?
Shu Fu decided she must be overthinking it and answered him frankly. “Sir, there’s no need to worry. I’m very happy here.”
Although the vicious villain and that char siu Immortal could be a bit annoying, and although Yao Guang Peak had a truly bizarre aesthetic, and although her master was genuinely so shamelessly flirtatious that no one could compare…
—she liked it here very much.
—She liked everything about her life now.
With a gaze clearer and more resolute than words could ever be, she gave Jiang Xuesheng her answer.
“…Is that so?”
Jiang Xuesheng let out a nearly inaudible sigh of relief. Only then did a smile return to his face. He reached out and gently brushed aside the stray hair at Shu Fu’s temple.
“As long as you’re happy. From the moment I saw you walking along the Qingyun Road, I knew that bringing you back was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.”
Me too, Shu Fu thought.
The best decision I made after transmigrating must have been following you back to Yao Guang Peak.
…However, she wasn’t shameless enough to say that out loud.
So at times like this, all she had to do was smile!
Everyone at Yao Guang Peak was talented, pleasant to talk to, and exceptionally good-looking. She absolutely loved being here!
At the same time, Shu Fu suddenly felt a strange warmth kindle in her chest. It seemed to be coming from the necklace she wore.
It was the merfolk-scale necklace she had received from Jiang Xuesheng when she first arrived at Yao Guang Peak. Two scales, one large and one small—the smaller one silver-gray, the larger one snowy white.
At that moment, the necklace lay against her heart like a second heart of her own, warm and alive, as though it too were beating with joy.
Shu Fu herself, however, still had no idea what it meant.
…
…
From then on, the years of cultivation in the mountains passed unnoticed, and in the blink of an eye, the flowing light of time had left them behind.
If it had to be summed up in one sentence, it would be—
Study hard and improve every day.
In the first year, Princess Zhaoyun returned from visiting her family, and the F4 of Yaoguang Peak were finally reunited. The once-arrogant Tianji and Tianquan Peaks were at last forced to endure a nightmare the entire sect would never look back on. For the first time, they learned that beneath hell, there was yet another hell.
In the second year, Big Yellow recovered and was discharged from the hospital. Since he still had to remain on the mountain and undergo hard cultivation to atone for his sins, he moved to Yuheng Peak with Tian Xin. By then, Master Bailian had already become Tian Xin’s friend despite the difference in their ages. Whenever she witnessed anything cruel or unjust, she would stand atop the mountain and unleash a furious tirade. Before long, everyone knew that Yuheng Peak lived by the creed, “No matter how far, justice will be served.” Anyone who escaped being beaten to death would surely be roasted alive by her tongue.
In the third year, Fangfei had achieved modest success in the art of medicine. She volunteered to descend the mountain and, together with her senior brothers and sisters, traveled through the mortal lands near the Jiuhua Sect, practicing medicine and helping the people. Bai Tian cultivated both formations and spellcraft, and, thanks to her warm personality, was chosen to represent the Jiuhua Sect in an exchange with the Tianyan Sect. Supposedly, the entrance to the Tianyan Sect really was a sea, complete with sea monsters lurking within—truly the finest guardians of a mountain-protecting array.
In the fourth year…
The stars shifted, the world changed, winter passed, and spring returned.
The “main plot” in Shu Fu’s memories began moving forward once more.
Across Thirty Thousand Li
