While turmoil swirled through the imperial court, the Yun Ning Palace was hardly peaceful either.
The more restless Tu Shanjin felt inside, the more ruthless he became.
The palace maids serving as spies for the Xiongnu were given an excuse to be sent away—meaning killed and left to soak!
Any ministers he caught breaking the law had their estates confiscated, with all their property seized and sent to the Book of Life!
As for his greatest threat at present, the Du faction, he was secretly gathering evidence against them. Once the time was right, he would deliver a fatal blow—and put on a spectacular show for the Book of Life!
But even his busy political affairs could not calm Tu Shanjin down. His mind was filled with what the Book of Life had said to him before court that morning about dual cultivation.
Tu Shanjin set down his wolf-hair brush and gently massaged his temples with both hands, trying to quiet the thoughts roiling through his mind.
Instead, the harder he tried to suppress them, the livelier they became. Every now and then, certain indescribable and vividly sensual scenes would flash through his mind.
Ahem…
The tips of Tu Shanjin’s ears turned faintly red. He called for Niu Xiu’er. “Xiuer, please fetch Imperial Physician Shan.”
Niu Xiu’er tilted her head and stared at her mistress’s complexion. The longer she looked, the more alarmed she became.
Why was her mistress’s face so red? Could she have caught a chill in this cold weather?
At that thought, Niu Xiu’er hurried out of Yun Ning Palace, panicking as she shouted, “Imperial Physician Shan, this is terrible! Her Highness is in serious trouble!”
When Imperial Physician Shan heard the news, his heart lurched. He brought half the Imperial Medical Bureau with him and rushed grandly toward Yun Ning Palace.
Tu Shanjin stared wide-eyed at the anxious, worried group of imperial physicians, who stared right back at him.
Tu Shanjin: “...I merely have something to ask Imperial Physician Shan. The rest of you may leave.”
The physicians: “...”
They silently gathered up their life-saving pills and silver needles, then turned and departed.
Niu Xiu’er: Mistress is fine. Yay!
Inside the room, Imperial Physician Shan still looked uneasy. “Your Highness, is there some... private ailment you find difficult to speak of?”
Tu Shanjin sighed and slowly began, “I have a friend...”
At this familiar opening, Imperial Physician Shan’s suspended heart finally settled. His old face broke into a cheerful smile. “Please, Your Highness. Go on.”
Tu Shanjin said, “He and the person he loves have confessed their feelings to each other. His beloved wishes to share a close, intimate relationship with him, but he is unwilling. How can he refuse without hurting the other person?”
Imperial Physician Shan was somewhat surprised. Her Highness and His Majesty had already been spending every night in bliss together, so this really must be a friend of hers.
“Your Highness, are your friend and the person he loves married?”
“Married for several months.” Having entered the inner palace and received an official decree of investiture, their relationship carried even more protection than an ordinary marriage.
Imperial Physician Shan was puzzled. “If they are already married and share mutual affection, why would he refuse physical intimacy? It is something that can deepen the bond between husband and wife.”
Drawing on his own experience as a married man, Imperial Physician Shan offered his counsel. “Your Highness, your friend should let down his guard and try to accept his husband... blah, blah, blah... That is the proper way for husband and wife to get along.”
Imperial Physician Shan talked at length, yet somehow still failed to touch upon the heart of Tu Shanjin’s problem. So Tu Shanjin continued, “I have another friend. He has fallen in love with himself and wants to be physically intimate with himself, but whenever he thinks about the fact that it is himself, he simply cannot get past that mental hurdle. How can he overcome it?”
Imperial Physician Shan’s calm pupils shook violently when he heard this.
This question was far beyond anything he had ever encountered. Even the storybooks by Mr. Fortune had never mentioned such a thing!
As an imperial physician, he not only had to treat every kind of strange and difficult illness, but also had to worry about the safety of his entire clan from time to time. And now he had to deal with other people’s emotional problems as well.
What a difficult life!
After a moment of inward reflection, Imperial Physician Shan returned to his senses and said solemnly, “Your Highness, this matter is indeed rather thorny.”
“But love is the most difficult and precious thing in this world. For your friend to fall in love with himself is unprecedented... blah, blah, blah... Everything is difficult at the beginning. If your friend can steel himself and take that first step, he may suddenly see the light and gain something even more precious!”
Imperial Physician Shan himself had no idea what sort of mental state had allowed him to spout such a rambling load of nonsense.
One person dared to ask, and the other dared to answer. After this exchange, the knot in Tu Shanjin’s heart finally came undone.
He and the Book of Life were already in love across species. If he could not overcome even this obstacle, how could they make it to the end?
Falling in love with a Book of Life—everything that followed was his own fault.
“Imperial Physician Shan truly is a master of medicine. You can heal both the body and the heart. I shall pass your words on to my friend.”
“Your Highness flatters me. I was only doing my duty.”
Imperial Physician Shan wiped the cold sweat from his forehead and hurried out of Yun Ning Palace.
Everything had gone completely insane. The world had finally become stranger than anything he could have imagined!
Yun Yaoyao, meanwhile, knew nothing about any of this. After court ended, she happily made her way toward the Qianqing Palace, eager to share the good news that she had successfully lured Du Guanliu into her trap with Tu Shanjin.
But she ran into Niu Xiu’er, who had come to deliver a message.
“Your Majesty, Her Highness is feeling unwell. Please go to Yun Ning Palace and see her.”
Why did those words sound so familiar?
Yun Yaoyao suddenly remembered. Wasn’t this the standard trick certain imperial consorts in palace dramas used whenever they wanted to win favor?
If it had been any other consort, Yun Yaoyao would have assumed this was merely a little ploy to seduce her.
After all, I’m not a physician. How is coming to look at you supposed to cure your illness? Go see the imperial physician if you’re sick, and take your medicine if you need it!
But this was her beloved consort Tu speaking.
Then he must truly be ill—and seriously ill at that!
Ah, her delicate, helpless Tu consort!
Yun Yaoyao immediately hurried toward Yun Ning Palace. “My beloved consort, I’m here to see you!”
Before long, Yun Yaoyao arrived at Yun Ning Palace. The palace attendants all wore knowing smiles as they quietly withdrew.
Yun Yaoyao had no idea what was going on. She reached Tu Shanjin’s room, pushed open the door, and strode inside.
Then the scene before her left her stunned.
The room had been decorated with gauzy red curtains and tinkling bells. Fresh flower petals covered the floor, and a faintly suggestive fragrance drifted into her nose.
Yaoyao: ???
Yun Yaoyao parted one layer of gauze after another. Just as she was about to reach the bed, a figure suddenly flew at her and knocked her onto the mattress.
Her view was blocked by the other person’s hand. All Yun Yaoyao could hear was the rustling of fabric, as if the other person were undressing.
Having read countless novels, Yun Yaoyao immediately understood.
The tyrant must have accidentally taken some aphrodisiac and was planning to use her as the antidote!
Yun Yaoyao twisted around and pinned the other person’s hand down. With a burst of strength, she reversed their positions.
“Wait. I think there are other ways to solve this.” Yun Yaoyao put on a solemn expression.
But her eyes could not help drifting from Tu Shanjin’s face down to his chest, and she secretly swallowed.
The tyrant had been eating well lately. His steamed buns had risen again.
“What do you intend to do?” Pinned beneath her, Tu Shanjin’s ears grew even redder. Yet his eyes were filled with a darkness so intense it seemed capable of devouring her whole.
“Every medicine has its own properties, which means there must be another medicinal ingredient that can counteract it. I’ll go fetch Imperial Physician Shan right now. Just hold on, okay?”
Yun Yaoyao tried to get up, only to be pressed beneath Tu Shanjin a moment later. His voice was low and husky, and his eyes fixed intently on her.
“I haven’t been drugged.”
“Then why are you committing debauchery in broad daylight?” Yun Yaoyao turned her head away awkwardly, though her heart was pounding like a drum.
“Before going to court, weren’t you the one who said we had to practice dual cultivation?” Tu Shanjin leaned closer, his breath fanning across Yun Yaoyao’s face, sending a tingling sensation through her.
“I said we should have two days off a week! Who said anything about that kind of dual cultivation? Have you been secretly reading Mr. Fugui’s storybooks again?” Yun Yaoyao laughed angrily.
But when she met his eyes—shocked, yet no less filled with desire—Yun Yaoyao huffed in irritation.
The candlelight flickered, the red bed curtains swayed gently, and wisps of incense curled from the burner beside the bed. As the two of them sat there in awkward silence, the atmosphere gradually turned hazy and ambiguous.
“Do you… feel unbearably hot? Along with shortness of breath and a racing heart?” A thin sheen of sweat appeared on Yun Yaoyao’s forehead.
“A little.” Tu Shanjin looked at his own face and body before him, once again mentally preparing himself for the intimate exchange to come.
“But ever since you attended my bed for the first time, I ordered the palace servants not to burn aphrodisiac incense or anything like it. How could this still…” Yun Yaoyao’s face flushed, and even her voice began to turn husky.
Tu Shanjin spoke in embarrassment. “I lit the aphrodisiac incense this time.”
“You! You shameless lecher!”
Furious, Yun Yaoyao threw the figure pressing down on her aside. She hurried out of bed, poured a cup of tea, and splashed it into the incense burner before drinking several more cups in succession.
Yet the fire blazing inside her refused to die down. Instead, the more she tried to douse it, the fiercer it became. The sleeping beast had transformed into a savage predator, roaring that it wanted to devour someone.
Yun Yaoyao stripped off her clothes until only a thin inner garment remained. Even then, she still felt unbearably hot. She loosened her clothing further, exposing a broad, muscular chest—and took the opportunity to run her hands over the abdominal muscles twice.
Tu Shanjin was suffering terribly as well. It felt as though countless ants were nibbling and crawling over his entire body. Fine beads of sweat formed on his forehead and trickled down his jade-white neck into the proud curves below.
Afraid that the Book of Life and Death would be stifled, Tu Shanjin rasped, “How about we…”
“Not a chance!” Yun Yaoyao glared at him, then sat back down on the bed despite her words.
The two of them fell silent for a while. In the end, they could bear it no longer and instinctively looked at each other.
But all they saw was their own face.
Good heavens, there was simply no way to kiss themselves!
No matter. Yun Yaoyao could always take matters into her own hands and satisfy herself.
Tu Shanjin’s expression changed. He seized her sinful hand. “No!”
Then he hurriedly added, “If you do that, I’ll do the same right in front of you!”
Yun Yaoyao bristled. “You dare! If you do that, I’ll chop off that filthy organ!”
Tu Shanjin broke down. “If you chop it off, how are we supposed to practice dual cultivation?”
Yun Yaoyao exploded. “You’re still thinking about dual cultivation?!”
As they argued, the quarrel turned physical. Before long, they had both tumbled onto the bed.
They rolled and rolled until they ended up tangled together.
And as they continued rolling…
