This wasn’t the first time Yan Xue had felt this way, but it was the first time she had voiced it aloud.
In the past, the two of them hadn’t interacted much. Even when they did speak, it was mostly about practical matters, never creating an atmosphere where such thoughts could be shared. But now, they talked more often, occasionally even joking with each other. So when the moment felt right, Yan Xue casually let the words slip.
Unexpectedly, Qi Fang fixed his gaze on her and remained silent for a long while.
Perhaps the 15-watt light bulb wasn’t bright enough, or perhaps his pupils were just too dark, but Yan Xue felt his eyes were shadowed and unfathomable.
It made her uncomfortable, as if her words had once again brushed against some sensitive nerve of his, provoking his displeasure.
Yan Xue instantly lost interest in the conversation and averted her gaze. Yet his eyes remained locked on her until he suddenly spoke, “You don’t know?”
“Know what?” Yan Xue was confused and looked back at his face.
Could there be some hidden story here?
Maybe he had actually been a good student but, like her in her past life, couldn’t finish school due to family circumstances.
Or perhaps he had done well in high school but, just as he was preparing for university, the turbulent years of the Cultural Revolution hit, forcing him to become a worker at the forestry station…
Age-wise, the latter seemed more likely, but given that he had lost both parents and had a strained relationship with his aunt’s family, the former also fit.
Yan Xue wasn’t entirely sure. As Qi Fang stared at her, only one thought echoed in her mind—
She didn’t know he had attended university.
She had no idea he had ever gone to university!
Even before they lost contact, their interactions had been sparse—maybe one or two letters a year at most. But he had been admitted to university at fourteen. How could she not know?
At the time, the Yan family had even sent a congratulatory gift—a fountain pen. When he returned the betrothal documents to the Yan family, he had sent the gift back as well.
Besides, she had written him a letter of congratulations back then. Could that letter have been fake? Had the Yan family deliberately kept it from her?
But the Yan family couldn’t have foreseen everything that would happen later, preparing to break off the engagement so early…
Unable to make sense of it, Qi Fang’s gaze grew even more probing. “Have you ever suffered a head injury?”
The sudden shift in topic caught Yan Xue off guard. After a pause, she instinctively touched the spot above her right temple. “You saw the scar? I thought it was hidden under my hair.”
So she really had been injured?
Qi Fang stood and walked over, gently parting her hair where she had just touched. Sure enough, beneath it lay a scar about an inch long.
His brows furrowed. “How did this happen?”
As he asked, his fingertips lightly brushed over the scar, as if worried it might still hurt.
The touch tickled, and Yan Xue instinctively leaned away. “I accidentally hit it on a rock.”
She couldn’t very well say it was because she had argued with her aunt, Bai Xiuzhen, who then pushed her, could she?
She wasn’t used to complaining, and there was no one around she could confide in anyway.
Whether it was her father in her past life or Jigang and even her grandmother in this one, they all needed more care and comfort than she did.
Yan Xue smoothed her hair back into place. “Pretty scary, right? It took several stitches. Lucky I fell the way I did—if it had been somewhere more visible, I’d have been disfigured.”
She could still smile about it, even finding relief in the fact that the scar was hidden under her hair…
Qi Fang felt a deep discomfort, his lips pressing into a tight line. “Did no one in your family take care of you?”
“They did,” Yan Xue said. “Jigang looked after me every day—wiping my hands and face, feeding me, even blowing on my wound to ease the pain.”
Back then, her memories had been a jumbled mess. She couldn’t tell whether she was living in her past life or this one, whether the pain came from the wound or her scrambled mind. All she knew was that a young boy had stayed by her side, afraid she’d be cold or hungry, checking her breathing multiple times at night, and only daring to cry when he thought she was asleep…
Just thinking about it made Yan Xue smile—warmly, fondly, with a touch of nostalgia.
But Qi Fang only saw it as forced cheerfulness. “Was it just Jigang?”
“No, there was Grandma too. Her mackerel dumplings were delicious. It’s a shame I couldn’t eat them while my head was healing. By the time I could, the spring fishing season was already over.”
The spring fishing season in their hometown was around March and April, when fish and seafood were at their plumpest and most flavorful before spawning.
Yan Xue asked Qi Fang, “Do you like salted fish? The mackerel from back home makes great salted fish. If you like it, I’ll try to get some next time—”
Before she could finish, she was pulled into an embrace, her nose pressed against his chest as a hand gently stroked the back of her head.
Why was he touching her head again?
The thought had barely formed when his arms tightened around her, and something brushed lightly against the top of her hair—so fleeting she might have doubted it happened if she hadn’t seen it.
When she looked up in surprise, she caught the faintest glimpse of his lips retreating, his sharp jawline just above her.
Meeting her gaze, he paused, then leaned down again, pressing a feather-light kiss to her forehead.
It was so soft, so brief, that without witnessing it, she might have thought she imagined it.
There was no deeper meaning behind it, yet Yan Xue’s lashes fluttered, her entire body tensing with discomfort.
Maybe she just wasn’t used to being comforted…
With that thought, she pushed him away. “It’s past eight. I need to wash up.” And with that, she hurried out.
Qi Fang’s expression remained unchanged—until the moment she disappeared. Then he raised a hand, fingertips brushing his ear, then his lips…
Because of this little incident, Yan Xue didn’t wait for Qi Fang to finish his drawing. She laid out her bedding herself, glanced at him, then quickly turned her back to strip down and burrow under the covers.
Qi Fang sat sideways at the desk, not looking her way. Only when she settled did he glance over.
With her back to the light, all that was visible was her raven-black hair spilling over the quilt and the small hand clutching its edge. She was so still he couldn’t tell if she was avoiding conversation or already asleep.
He stood, walked over quietly, and turned off the light. Then he fitted batteries into a flashlight, angling it so only his side of the desk was illuminated, and resumed drawing.
By the time he finished, it was past nine. Just as he was about to climb onto the kang to sleep, he hesitated, then turned the flashlight back on and returned to the desk to write a letter.
It was addressed to one of the few friends he had back in Yanjing. Since Yan Xue didn’t want to talk, he couldn’t press her, but there were things he needed to find out.
How could the daughter of the Yan family suffer such an injury with only her younger brother and grandmother to care for her?
Where was her father? Her mother? Were there no other relatives in the Yan family?
He had been so focused on his studies and projects, maintaining only minimal contact with Yan Xue, that he’d paid little attention to the Yan family. He hadn’t even realized Yan Xue’s household registration had been moved to the countryside. Unless… had she and Jigang gotten a stepmother?
The deeper he wrote, the more furrowed his brow became. Details he had never paid attention to before now became things he wanted to ask about but couldn’t bring up directly.
He wasn’t sure if the recipient still used this address or if they would even reply. He remembered that their family hadn’t been affected back then…
After finishing the letter, Qi Fang hesitated once more, holding the paper in his hand. Finally, he glanced at Yan Xue, sound asleep on the kang, and went to the drawer to find an envelope.
When Qi Fang turned off the light earlier, Yan Xue hadn’t actually fallen asleep yet. But she wasn’t one to dwell on idle thoughts, and before long, she had drifted off.
The next morning, as they left the house, she noticed Qi Fang holding a letter but didn’t ask about it.
After all, he hadn’t questioned her when she wrote to her family. If he wanted her to know, he would have told her directly.
When they arrived at the assembly point for the family brigade, Captain Lin was there today, but his wife, Cheng Yuzhen, was absent—reportedly due to stomach discomfort.
"Stomach discomfort" could mean many things: food poisoning, menstrual cramps, or even… Someone gasped, "Could she be pregnant?"
Captain Lin shot the speaker a glance, coughing lightly but offering no response. Yan Xue later learned that he and Cheng Yuzhen had been married for nearly ten years without children.
"People say his injuries ruined his health, and that’s why his wife can’t conceive. Otherwise, why would he always give in to her?"
"Right? Like that incident with Yan Xue—nothing ever came of it."
Yan Xue never engaged in such gossip. She listened if others spoke but deflected if asked directly. Jin Baozhi, however, clearly remembered Yan Xue standing up for her. The day after the tree-planting project ended, before Yan Xue had even recovered from exhaustion, Jin Baozhi showed up at her door with twenty pounds of rice and twenty pounds of flour.
Food was a precious commodity these days. Though Yan Xue’s household often had meat, their monthly grain ration was strictly for her and Qi Fang.
In the forestry settlement, families with many sons often ran short. They either supplemented with potatoes (which didn’t require ration coupons) or bought overpriced grain from rural areas.
And "overpriced" was no exaggeration—cornmeal sold for 9 fen per pound under the state supply system, but buying it privately cost 30 fen. Worse, the privately sold corn wasn’t even ground—it was whole kernels with husks, requiring drying on the kang and grinding by hand. Rice and wheat flour were even harder to come by.
Yan Xue was stunned. "What’s all this for?"
"To thank you for speaking up for me that day," Jin Baozhi replied bluntly. "My family’s from Dahuan Village nearby. I got this from them."
Rural households, with their private plots and discreetly cultivated patches of land, often had more food to spare.
"My family doesn’t know much besides farming. That’s how they saved up to buy land bit by bit, until…"
Jin Baozhi trailed off, clapping her hands as if to brush it aside. "If you ever run short, just let me know. I’ll get more from my family."
"Wait!" Yan Xue called after her.
Jin Baozhi paused, her expression tightening. "Don’t tell me you want to pay for it."
Yan Xue had indeed planned to say that but changed tack. "I was going to ask how much it cost. If possible, could you get another twenty pounds of each?"
Hearing this, Jin Baozhi relaxed slightly. "I’ll ask when I go back tomorrow."
"No rush. These forty pounds will last us a while." Yan Xue went inside and fetched twenty yuan as a deposit. "We’ll settle the difference once we know the exact price."
She couldn’t let Jin Baozhi shoulder the burden of delivering forty pounds of grain for nothing.
No sooner had Jin Baozhi left than another visitor arrived—Lang Yue'e, whom Yan Xue hadn’t seen in a while.
After the Lang family announced their intent to sue Kang Peisheng for attempted rape, the Kangs had alternated between threats and pleas. Fearing the scandal would affect Lang Yue'e, her mother sent her to her uncle’s home. With the uproar, it was better for her to be away from the gossip.
Nearly a month later, Lang Yue'e returned unexpectedly. Yan Xue’s eyes curved with amusement. "Well? Did things work out?"
"You always guess right." Lang Yue'e laughed, her eyes bright again.
She wasn’t alone—her mother followed, beaming as she stepped inside with gifts. "We owe it all to you. If not for your idea…" She lowered her voice. "If not for your plan, our Yue'e would never have escaped that nightmare."
She pressed a piece of meat into Yan Xue’s hands—something Yan Xue had never seen before. "Didn’t you already thank me last time?"
"That was for then. This is for your brilliant idea." Lang Yue'e’s mother pointed at the meat. "Fresh carp from the Yalu River. Yue'e bought this for you on her way back."
"They still have fish this big?" Yan Xue was genuinely surprised, examining it closely.
In her past life, the Yalu River rarely yielded fish over seven or eight pounds—a rarity that made headlines. Judging by the size and shape of this cut, the fish must have weighed at least twenty pounds.
Lang Yue'e’s mother nodded. "Oh yes. Two years ago, I saw an even bigger one. We picked the tenderest belly meat for you—hope you don’t mind."
She took Yan Xue’s hand. "You have no idea how many tears I shed over Yue'e’s ordeal. When I heard Kang Peisheng dared to come after her again, I nearly fainted from rage. If I’d known what kind of man he was, I’d never have agreed to the match."
Her eyes reddened. Noticing her distress, Yan Xue quickly asked, "Where was he transferred to?"
The diversion worked. Lang Yue'e’s mother brightened. "Lupigou." She added, seeing Yan Xue’s confusion, "A remote town in our county—three hours by bus to the county seat."
A remote town meant no desirable postings, especially since Kang Peisheng wasn’t in the forestry system.
From Lupigou to the county seat took three hours. Then another transfer to Chengshui Town, and from there to the forestry settlement—no less than six or seven hours to reach Jinchuan Forestry Settlement.
And after the Lang family’s ruthless move, who knew if Kang Peisheng would dare to drunkenly harass Lang Yue'e again? According to her mother, his former workplace knew about the lawsuit, and his divorce had already tarnished his reputation. Even before the transfer, he’d avoided work for weeks.
"They say it cost them this much." Lang Yue'e’s mother whispered, holding up five fingers. "His mother sold their old house. Now all three of them have to rent in Lupigou."
Five hundred yuan—a year’s wages. Yan Xue wondered if the Kangs had even spent that much on Lang Yue'e’s dowry.
And this was a demotion, from a better location to a backwater. The Kangs must have been seething when pulling strings for this "favor."
Lang Yue'e’s mother unloaded all the details, as if finally free of a heavy burden.
After thoroughly recounting the Kangs’ misfortunes, she suddenly remembered something. "Oh, Yue'e mentioned there was a young man with you that day?"
Yan Xue thought she also wanted to thank the person, "Yes, there was a comrade from the Xiaojinchuan Forestry Station."
"How old is he? Is he married? You must know him, right?" Lang Yue'e's mother immediately asked.
Lang Yue'e tugged at her sleeve, and Yan Xue caught on.
Lang Yue'e's mother had no choice but to relent, "I was just asking, didn't mean anything." But her eyes still lingered on Yan Xue.
Yan Xue decided to be honest, "I’ve only met him two or three times. I don’t even know his name."
"Oh, I see." Lang Yue'e's mother sounded disappointed. "Yue'e said you were together, so I thought you knew him well."
Just then, Qi Fang returned from outside, and the conversation ended as Lang Yue'e and her mother took their leave.
As soon as they left, Yan Xue was about to prepare the meat when she heard Qi Fang ask, "Was it that guy who gave you the roller skates?"
She had no idea how he’d pieced that together from just a snippet of conversation.
Yan Xue was a little exasperated but didn’t mention her own suspicions. "Sister Yue'e and her mom came to thank us for last time. They wanted to thank him too."
Qi Fang didn’t say anything else, just picked up the soap next to the bar of scented soap. Yan Xue couldn’t fathom why he’d even asked.
She weighed the fish in her hand—it had to be at least four or five pounds. "I’ll sprout some beans later and make boiled fish." Then she pointed to two bags of grain on the shelf. "Sister Baozhi from next door brought these."
Qi Fang had noticed them when he came in. "Did you pay her?"
That was just like him—never taking advantage of others. Yan Xue smiled. "She wouldn’t take money if I offered directly, so I asked her to buy forty more pounds for me. I’ll pay her once I know the price."
Qi Fang didn’t comment further, pouring the used wash water into the dirty bucket before refilling the basin with clean water.
Yan Xue noticed his hands were covered in grease. "Did Uncle Xu have you help with disassembling again?"
At first, Qi Fang had only observed, but one day when they were short-handed, Xu Wenli had him assist.
Xu Wenli quickly realized he was far more capable than his own apprentices—he knew exactly what to do, never making a single mistake. Sometimes, if his apprentices were unavailable or too slow, Xu Wenli would just call Qi Fang over so he could take a break.
Qi Fang didn’t react much. "Yeah, we finished most of it today."
"So you don’t have to go back?" Yan Xue guessed.
"No." His answer was brief, but the truth was, the next few days were supposed to focus on repairs. Xu Wenli had wanted him to stay, but he refused.
He could’ve stopped going yesterday—the small repair shop had already dismantled the hydraulic transmission system he needed to see.
Anger? After the emotional turmoil of that day, he didn’t feel as furious anymore. The four logging tractors were indeed using the system he and his mentor had researched.
He’d spent the last two days finishing the disassembly mainly to see how they’d implemented it and how well the tractor’s overall structure held up.
Truthfully, there were some minor innovations, but not many. They weren’t even using the latest version he and his mentor had fine-tuned—it felt rushed, like something cobbled together to meet a deadline. No wonder Wu Xingde had personally sought him out, trying to extract information from him.
The irony was almost laughable. The ones who truly dedicated themselves to research were driven to their deaths, while those who cared only for appearances held high positions. And then there was his so-called senior brother…
Just thinking about it drained him—those people, this hopeless world.
His thoughts were interrupted when Yan Xue spoke up. "Then you stay home tomorrow. I’ll go to town. Zhou Wenhui told me today that what I ordered has arrived. I’ll pick up the glucose and sell the gastrodia while I’m there."
He was immediately pulled back into mundane reality. "I’ll go. The lumber the station approved is ready. I’ll also buy some bricks from the brick factory. With the weather this good, we should start building."
"Buy bricks?"
"Yeah, I want to add an outer brick layer to the house."
The forestry station’s log cabins were warm, but they weren’t as sturdy as brick houses, especially with shallow foundations.
Yan Xue thought for a moment, then went to the inner room and handed him some money. "Get tiles too. Wooden shingles don’t drain well. Or take some cigarettes—ask around the station if any diesel engines are heading to town soon. See if they can hitch an extra freight car for us."
The station didn’t use bricks or tiles for roofing—they relied on bark or wood shavings.
While they did channel rainwater, they couldn’t compare to real tiles in durability or waterproofing. Since they had the money, it was better to do it right the first time rather than patch things up later.
As for hitching an extra freight car, as long as they loaded and unloaded it themselves, it wasn’t a big deal.
Qi Fang took the money and tucked it into his pocket after washing his hands.
Ironically, the very next day, he ran into the man who’d given Yan Xue the roller skates on the train.
The young man didn’t notice him, but the conductor recognized Qi Fang when collecting tickets—though he only gave him a glance and said nothing.
A while later, the conductor reached Qi Fang’s seat and noticed the paper-wrapped package he’d failed to deliver twice. "Going to your aunt’s again?"
"Yeah," Qi Fang smiled, quickly pulling out money for the ticket. "No one came by earlier to collect."
Most people might’ve kept quiet, but he always paid properly, never trying to ride for free despite knowing the conductor.
The conductor sometimes thought him too honest but admired it. "I bet she’s back this time."
Qi Fang nodded. "She got some land. She’ll have to return by May Day to plant, or there won’t be food this year."
When he arrived at Aunt Qi’s, she was indeed home—but with a black mourning band on her left arm. Her father-in-law hadn’t made it.
Qi Fang swallowed his words and murmured, "My condolences."
"It’s alright. We’ve known it was coming these past two years. Your uncle and the others were prepared."
Aunt Qi waved it off, then scolded him for bringing gifts. "You shouldn’t waste your money. Save it for your future wife."
That reminded her. "I left in such a hurry last time—how did the blind date go? Did it work out? I heard the girl was very pretty."
What could Qi Fang say? He handed over the dried fungus first. "I don’t know if it worked out. I haven’t met her yet."
"It’s been months! You still haven’t met?"
Aunt Qi was stunned, but she knew her nephew wouldn’t lie. She immediately stood up to change shoes. "Come on, let’s go find Shan Qiufang and ask."
