The zombie’s past was a mystery. Fu Qi had no idea what she had been through to become this superstitious, and he couldn’t find any way to solve the problem either. For now, he could only set it aside and take her to wash up.
They had to wash up first.
Fu Qi had thought that after spending three days wandering through hordes of zombies to find her, he was filthy enough already. But the zombie was even dirtier than he was, not to mention Little Zombie, whose entire body was covered in blood on one side.
When Fu Qi called her dirty, Qin Zhen argued that she had been carrying Little Zombie around because she was afraid of frightening the humans. That was why she hadn’t dared go to their houses, and naturally, she hadn’t been able to take a bath.
“Then, on behalf of all humanity, should I thank you?”
The zombie had only just been “seriously wounded” by the talisman and was still weak. She waved a hand feebly and said, “Great favors need no thanks… Thanks.”
Fu Qi burst out laughing.
The zombie’s words sounded nice enough, but as soon as they found a place to stay, she began demanding that the human repay her kindness. She said she also had to bathe Little Zombie, while Fu Qi only needed to wash himself. It was unfair, so Fu Qi had to pour the water for her.
Fu Qi did as she asked. Once she had washed both Little Zombie and herself, he finally went to wash up as well. Afterward, all three species changed into clean clothes.
To prevent someone passing by at night from mistaking Qin Zhen and Little Zombie for a threat and attacking them, Fu Qi had the two of them stay in the same room with him.
He needed to rest, so he slept in the bed. Qin Zhen didn’t need sleep, so she moved the rocking chair from the courtyard into the room and sat in it, rocking back and forth with her eyes half closed in comfort. Little Zombie, tied up and shut inside the wardrobe, was also full of energy, repeatedly banging its head against the cabinet door.
The atmosphere was wonderfully peaceful.
“Comfortable?”
“Super comfy~”
The zombie was eager to learn. Ever since Fan Xu had taught her a single phrase in a local dialect, she had kept using it.
Fu Qi took the opportunity to ask, “More comfortable hanging out with me, or watching movies?”
The question immediately dragged Qin Zhen back to the scene of Fan Kong holding a peach-wood sword and shouting, “Demon!” She quickly shook her head and hurriedly answered in a loud voice, “Neither!”
“Your brain works pretty fast.” Fu Qi had thought she would choose him without hesitation this time. He hadn’t expected her to reject both options.
The zombie giggled happily at being praised, and the rocking chair creaked as it swayed.
“You still have the nerve to laugh?” Fu Qi said. “You suddenly jumped out of the car and scared your underlings half to death. The moment they saw me, they apologized and said they wanted to come find you too…”
Qin Zhen had felt embarrassed at the first half of his words, but when she heard the rest, every hair on her body stood on end. She hurriedly refused. “No!”
“I didn’t let them come. I told them you’d used a newly developed drug from the Beicheng Research Institute that could confuse zombies for a short period of time, so you wouldn’t die. If you run into them again, don’t let the truth slip.”
Qin Zhen nodded, then shook her head. “No need. Later… won’t see.”
“You’ll have to see them,” Fu Qi said. “I have something to do at the base. You’re coming with me.”
He needed Xu Feng’s help with something, so he had to make the trip. He wasn’t sure how many days he would have to stay there, and after what had happened, he didn’t feel safe letting Qin Zhen leave his sight. She had to come with him.
Before Qin Zhen could refuse, Fu Qi continued, “The talismans drawn by the Fan brothers were completely random scribbles. They don’t have any magic in them, and they couldn’t actually restrain you. Think about it. You spent several days with Fan Xu, day and night. If he really had magical powers, how could he have failed to notice that you were a zombie? Fan Kong can’t exorcise ghosts or subdue demons either. He’s just a chuunibyou. You know what that means—I told you before.”
“He can!”
“…”
Fu Qi spent a great deal of effort explaining that the talismans were merely decorations and that the only reason she couldn’t move was because of her own psychological reaction. Qin Zhen didn’t believe him.
Following her own logic, she asked why Little Zombie hadn’t been immobilized. Qin Zhen said it was because zombies and jiangshi were different species, so they weren’t afraid of Taoists.
Her ghostly reasoning was full of holes, and none of it made sense.
As they went back and forth, a rustling sound came from outside. Fu Qi got up from the bed and went out to investigate. When he returned, he said, “It’s nothing. Just the wind.”
Instead of lying back down, he sat on the stool beside the rocking chair and said, “You really won’t come to the base with me? If you don’t, I’ll take it as proof that all jiangshi are cowards. I’ll even write a biography and make sure everyone knows, so you can become the disgrace of the entire jiangshi clan.”
Qin Zhen glared at him.
Fu Qi changed his tone and continued, “On the other hand, Fan Xu and Fan Kong don’t know you’re a jiangshi. If you come back to the base with me, they’ll continue to think of you as their savior and their boss. Have jiangshi ever taken Taoists as underlings before? You might be the first.”
The expression on the zombie’s face changed. Fu Qi noticed and continued coaxing her.
“So, do you want to be the disgrace of the jiangshi clan, or its pride?”
Qin Zhen wanted to be its pride.
She said, “I already am… am the pride. They call… call me Sis.”
The two of them had been discussing whether or not she should go to the base, but at this point, Fu Qi fell silent for a moment. Then, as if he had suddenly thought of something, he said, “Wait, why are you still stuttering? You’ve been out of the tomb for so long. Shouldn’t you have learned to speak normally by now?”
The zombie stared back at him blankly.
Fu Qi looked her up and down, then asked suspiciously, “You haven’t been deliberately speaking in short phrases to maintain your aloof boss image, have you? You haven’t been practicing properly lately, have you?”
“…”
The zombie refused to admit it. “Dun know!”
“You know perfectly well.” Fu Qi criticized her lack of ambition, then said regretfully, “If I’d known, I wouldn’t have used the research institute’s drug to cover for you. I could’ve just told them you were dead…”
He was criticizing the zombie, but she didn’t care in the slightest. She continued rocking leisurely in the chair.
Seeing this, Fu Qi planted one foot on the chair and stopped it. “I’m talking to you. When are you going to ‘die’ once? You can come back under a different identity. We’ll tell everyone you’re one of five identical siblings. Five lives should be enough for you to do whatever you want, right? We can change your personality too. You can become an obedient little sister, or the chatty fourth sister. The more you talk, the more practice you’ll get, and you’ll stop stuttering.”
“No!” The zombie liked her aloof boss persona and refused to become a clingy little sister.
“Not going to listen?” Fu Qi raised an eyebrow, a hint of menace in his voice.
Qin Zhen wasn’t afraid at all. Since the rocking chair was held in place by his foot, she pressed her toes against the floor and pushed back with all her strength, deliberately fighting him.
Fu Qi frowned and stared at her. “You brought this on yourself.”
Qin Zhen was still thinking, So what? Is he actually going to hit me? Whether he wins or I win is still undecided.
That was what she had just been thinking when Fu Qi suddenly reached a hand toward her.
Qin Zhen had put all her strength into resisting the rocking chair and was completely unprepared. He got her immediately, but it didn’t matter. A zombie couldn’t feel pain anyway.
But then she realized that Fu Qi wasn’t hitting her. He had stuck something to her forehead.
The room was dim, and Fu Qi moved too quickly for her to see what it was clearly. But the scene was familiar. She had witnessed it with her own eyes that evening, and it had left her weak for quite some time afterward.
“Fortunately, Fan Xu gave me two talismans.” Fu Qi sat on the stool with one foot holding the rocking chair in place. He rested one elbow on its armrest, while his other hand pressed the talisman against Qin Zhen’s forehead as if he were afraid it might not stick securely enough. With a smile, he asked, “Darling, can you listen now?”
Qin Zhen: “…”
Every hair on the zombie’s body stood on end. In an instant, she lost control of her body and lay rigidly in the rocking chair, not even daring to blink.
“If you’ll listen, nod.”
If she was frozen in place, obviously she couldn’t nod. The zombie shot Fu Qi a look, hoping he would figure that out.
“Still glaring at me? This Little Zombie is awfully fierce. Looks like I’ll have to teach you a lesson.”
After saying that, Fu Qi slipped his hand into Qin Zhen’s pocket and pulled out a yellow lemon-shaped hair clip. On closer inspection, it was broken and unusable.
He reached in again and pulled out a hard candy. It was one of the two Fan Xu had given her last time. Even though she couldn’t taste it, she hadn’t had the heart to eat them both at once.
Fu Qi shook his head and kept searching. This time, he pulled out Qin Zhen’s little fan.
He switched it on and let it blow for a couple of seconds, then removed the battery. “You’re being disobedient, so I’m confiscating it.”
After putting everything except the fan into his own pocket, Fu Qi questioned her sternly again. “Are you going to behave now? If you are, nod.”
Qin Zhen: “……”
How childish!
A grown man acting cute like a little kid. Disgusting!
Utterly disgusting!
“Still refusing to give in? Then don’t blame me for getting rough.”
As he spoke, Fu Qi reached toward Qin Zhen’s face and gently pinched it.
There was no one else around this time, so Qin Zhen didn’t need to conceal her complexion. Her blue-gray face had been washed spotless. It felt cool beneath his fingers, and a little soft too, which Fu Qi found very satisfying.
After pinching her a few times, he began kneading Qin Zhen’s face like a ball of dough, scrunching all her features together.
Qin Zhen glared fiercely at Fu Qi, only encouraging him to go even further.
The zombie’s dignity was in tatters!
But no one could have everything go their way forever. Just as Fu Qi was enjoying himself, a gust of wind blew in through the hole in the window. The “talisman” stuck to Qin Zhen’s forehead fluttered like a butterfly’s wings before suddenly being blown away.
Qin Zhen froze for a moment. Fu Qi seemed to pause as well, then quickly turned around to retrieve the talisman.
But the zombie had reacted too. Qin Zhen sprang up from the rocking chair, wrapped her arms around Fu Qi’s neck, and threw herself at him, knocking him flat on the floor.
All her old and new grudges surged up at once. She snarled viciously, “Fu, Xiang, xiang—you’re! Dead!”
It was the zombie’s turn to take revenge on the human.
She pinned Fu Qi down, first retrieving her precious belongings and the battery from his pockets, then imitating him by vigorously rubbing his face.
“I didn’t use this much force, did I? Ow—”
At most, Fu Qi had kneaded the zombie’s face a few times. The zombie, on the other hand, was sitting astride him and ravaging his face with merciless enthusiasm.
“That’s enough, sweetheart. You’ve had your revenge, so stop now, or I really will have to get serious… Mmph…”
As he spoke, Qin Zhen gave his cheek another hard pinch.
Fu Qi’s body couldn’t move, but his hands still could. Seeing that she refused to stop, he raised his hand once more and reached toward Qin Zhen’s forehead.
The zombie flew into a fit of embarrassment and anger. Before she had time to think, her right hand reacted before her brain did. She snatched the object from Fu Qi’s hand, clenched it tightly, and shouted, “Still trying to stick that on me? Stick it to your own head!”
Only after she had finished did she realize what she had grabbed. Her entire body instantly went rigid.
“Frozen again?” Fu Qi asked, laughing at her horrified, stunned expression. His body shook with laughter, making the zombie sitting on top of him tremble along with him.
When he finally managed to stop, he grabbed the hand holding the “talisman” and tried to pry her fingers open. It didn’t work, so Fu Qi began laughing again.
He laughed so hard he nearly cried before finally stopping. This time, he used a little more force and successfully pried Qin Zhen’s hand open.
Fu Qi took the crumpled “talisman,” unfolded it in front of the zombie, and said with a laugh, “This is enough to subdue you? You zombies are pretty weak.”
After the electrical system failed, the moon and stars had become much more prominent. As luck would have it, the moon was especially bright that night, giving Qin Zhen enough light to see the “talisman” in front of her clearly.
She glanced at it, then widened her eyes and looked again. Gritting her teeth, she lowered her head and punched Fu Qi, shouting, “Fraud!”
What talisman? It was clearly just a corner torn from the couplet pasted on the doorframe.
And it had faded!
Fu Xiangxiang was a big fat liar who had tricked the zombie again!
Fu Qi was in the wrong. After taking several punches, he finally caught her hands, his smile still intact, and asked, “Was it all psychological?”
Qin Zhen: “……”
It seemed that it really had been.
“Then why are you still hitting me?” he asked.
Qin Zhen hesitated. If she hit him, he had only been trying to prove that the talisman was fake and that everything was merely a psychological effect. His intentions had been good. But if she didn’t hit him, he was always playing tricks on the zombie and making her lose face.
While she was hesitating, Fu Qi continued, “Also, men and women shouldn’t be so physically familiar. You keep throwing yourself at me. If someone sees, it’ll damage my reputation. Miss Zombie, could you please be more careful from now on?”
That settled it. Qin Zhen immediately struck him on the shoulder.
Afterward, she climbed off Fu Qi and returned to the rocking chair, where she resumed rocking.
Fu Qi straightened his clothes and returned to the bed as well. He let out a long breath and said, “I need to rest, sweetheart. I’m counting on you to keep watch tonight. Pay attention, and don’t let any zombies come in and eat me.”
“I’m not keeping watch!” Qin Zhen snapped viciously.
After saying that, she heard no further response from Fu Qi. She waited for a while, then pushed herself up using the armrest and leaned over to look at the bed. Fu Qi’s eyes were closed, his expression peaceful. He had already fallen asleep.
Qin Zhen’s anger had not yet fully subsided. She wanted to wake him and tell him that she absolutely wasn’t going to keep watch for him, but the image of Fu Qi when he had found her that evening appeared in her mind at the most inconvenient moment.
She thought about it, then eventually lay back down in the rocking chair and slowly began rocking again.
