The Sixth Prince's Manor, the study.
Twilight slanted through the carved window lattices, casting a pool of warm yellow light on the blue brick floor. A solitary lamp burned on the desk, its flickering flame washing the room in a dance of light and shadow.
Li Chenglu sat in the armchair by the window, his fingers unconsciously twisting the tassel of the jade pendant at his waist.
He did not know why his sixth brother had summoned him. He was only told there was an important matter to discuss and that he must come alone, not even allowed to bring his personal eunuch.
Walking all the way here, he felt a faint sense of unease.
These past few days, his sixth brother had taken him to visit the Great Xiangguo Temple and Qingyun Daoist Temple, inviting eminent monks and renowned Daoist priests to expound on scriptures and preach to him. The underlying message in all their words was always the same: Do not care about your outward appearance.
He thought his sixth brother was worried that he would be looked down upon during marriage negotiations because of his frail physique and weak strength.
But for him to be so solemn today...
Could it be that a marriage candidate had been chosen, and his sixth brother wanted to tell him in advance?
Li Chenglu lowered his eyes, an indescribable wave of irritation rising in his heart. Marriage, marriage. These were the two words he had heard the most lately. The Empress said they needed to investigate carefully, and his sixth brother said they needed to choose slowly, but he knew very well in his heart—it would not be delayed for much longer.
There had to be a candidate eventually.
There had to be a grand wedding.
And with his body...
He bit his lip, ruthlessly suppressing that thought.
The door creaked open.
Li Chengyu strode in. The personal guards behind him silently pulled the door shut, cutting off all sounds from the outside.
Li Chenglu hurriedly stood up: "Sixth Brother."
Li Chengyu waved his hand, signaling him to sit down. He himself did not sit, but stood by the window with his hands behind his back, facing away from the twilight, his gaze falling heavily on Li Chenglu's face.
That gaze was very strange.
It was not scrutiny.
It was not concern.
Instead, it was a... complex appraisal, carrying a somewhat indescribable meaning.
Li Chenglu felt a chill in his heart under his stare: "Sixth Brother? What is it?"
Li Chengyu remained silent for a moment.
Then, he spoke, his voice lower than usual but every word clear: "Chenglu, no matter how shocked you are after hearing what I am about to say, you are not allowed to shout, and you are not allowed to run out. Can you do that?"
Li Chenglu's heart skipped a beat.
He subconsciously tightened his grip on the tassel in his hand and nodded.
Li Chengyu looked at him, his eyes flickering slightly.
"Do you know why you suffer from abdominal pain every month?"
Li Chenglu was startled.
The imperial physicians of the Imperial Hospital had asked him this question countless times, and he had answered it countless times—congenital deficiency, stagnation of liver qi, cold coagulation and blood stasis. He had long memorized it thoroughly.
"The imperial physicians said it is..."
"What the imperial physicians said is wrong," Li Chengyu interrupted him.
Li Chenglu froze.
Li Chengyu took a deep breath, walked up to him, and sat in the armchair opposite him. The two were separated by a small red sandalwood table, close enough to see the bloodshot veins in each other's eyes.
"That is not an illness," Li Chengyu said word by word. "It is the pain of a woman's monthly cycle."
Monthly cycle?
Li Chenglu blinked.
Of course he knew these words, and of course he knew what they meant. It referred to a woman's menstruation. But what did that have to do with him? He was a man...
"Sixth Brother." He smiled dryly. "Do not joke with me..."
"I am not joking." Li Chengyu's voice was as steady as a boulder. "I have already asked Hua Yuan, the head of the Imperial Hospital. He personally said that your pulse is no different from that of a woman. The reason you look like a man is because you suffer from a congenital condition of outer yang and inner yin—appearing male on the outside, but actually female on the inside. You experience abdominal pain every month because your body experiences the menstrual tide, just like an ordinary woman."
Li Chenglu's mind buzzed.
He opened his mouth, wanting to say something, but his throat felt as if it were blocked by something, and he could not spit out a single word.
A woman?
He was a woman?
He had been a prince for sixteen years, studied the classics, history, philosophy, and literature for sixteen years, practiced horseback riding and archery for sixteen years, and had been laughed at for sixteen years for being effeminate and physically weak and delicate—
And now his sixth brother was telling him that he was a woman?
Those mockeries.
That disgust.
Those flaws that he had desperately tried to cover up, to make up for, to overcome—it turned out they were not flaws, but... how things were supposed to be?
Li Chengyu watched him, his gaze carrying a hint of tension.
He had prepared himself, ready to meet his younger brother's breakdown, shame, disbelief, and even hysteria. If any of these reactions occurred, he had to control the situation in time.
He could not let the commotion get out of hand!
A person who had been a prince for sixteen years was suddenly told he was a woman—who could accept this?
Li Chengyu was ready to intervene at any moment, but Li Chenglu's reaction stunned him.
On that face that was almost identical to Li Chanying's, after the initial bewilderment passed, what surfaced was not a breakdown, not shame and indignation, but an... indescribably complex expression.
Confusion.
Sudden realization.
And a trace of... extremely faint, almost imperceptible... pleasant surprise?
Li Chenglu suddenly remembered many things.
He remembered when he was young, he had secretly worn his younger sister's dresses. Standing in front of the bronze mirror, looking at the figure with soft features in the mirror, a strange, secret intoxication had welled up in his heart.
He remembered the indescribable grievance in his heart every time he was mocked for not acting like a man—not aggrieved at being scolded, but aggrieved that no matter how hard he tried, he could not become the way they wanted him to be.
He remembered those dead of night moments when he hid under the covers and quietly thought: If I were a woman, would I not have to be so tired?
He had always thought that these thoughts were due to his weakness, that he was sick, that he was abnormal.
But it turned out...
It turned out he was not sick, or rather, he was indeed sick!
It was that she was never meant to be a man in the first place.
Li Chenglu lowered her head and looked at her hands.
The ten fingers were slender, as white as jade, even more delicate than those of an ordinary woman. These hands could not hold a sword steadily, could not draw a bow, and even found it strenuous to grip the reins while riding a horse.
She had felt inferior because of this countless times.
Now looking at them again—
It seemed it was not so hard to accept after all.
"So..." Li Chenglu raised her head and looked at Li Chengyu. Her voice was somewhat airy, somewhat trembling, but steadier than imagined. "Sixth Brother, I... I am truly a woman?"
Li Chengyu nodded.
"Then... then from now on..." Li Chenglu paused, suddenly tugging at the corners of her mouth, revealing an expression that was hard to say whether it was a smile or something else. "Does this mean I do not have to pretend to be a man anymore?"
Li Chengyu: "......"
All the comfort, all the counseling, all the rhetoric of you must be strong, you must accept reality that he had prepared were completely stuck in his throat at this moment.
Do not have to pretend to be a man anymore?
Was this... a pleasant surprise?
Li Chengyu suddenly remembered the eminent monks and renowned Daoist priests he had taken him to visit these past few days.
Could it be that those teachings about outward appearances are but flesh and the true heart is the true self really took effect? Allowing Chenglu to accept it so calmly?
Or was it...
Chenglu had always hoped to be a woman?
Li Chengyu did not continue to think further. Some things did not need to be investigated to the bottom. As long as the final result was good, the process did not matter.
He coughed lightly, suppressing those messy thoughts, and his expression became solemn once again.
"Chenglu, since you can accept this, you must listen carefully to what I am about to say."
Li Chenglu withdrew that trace of a smile and sat up straight.
Li Chengyu relayed Hua Yuan's method of "restoring the origin" to her in full detail—removing the affliction to restore her female body, so that her future marriage and childbirth would be no different from that of an ordinary woman.
Then, he paused and uttered the most crucial sentence:
"But before that, you must 'die' once."
Li Chenglu's pupils shrank slightly.
"You are the Ninth Prince," Li Chengyu's voice deepened. "This identity has no room for a 'woman.' If you continue to live as a prince, this secret will be exposed sooner or later. When that time comes, not only will your life be forfeit, but the Empress Mother, myself, Chanying, and everyone close to you will be implicated."
"Those who have their eyes on us, especially our other royal brothers, will not let this opportunity pass." He looked directly into Li Chenglu's eyes. "'The Ninth Prince is actually a woman, confusing the royal bloodline'—this single charge is the crime of deceiving the emperor, a disaster that warrants the execution of our entire family."
Li Chenglu listened quietly.
She did not panic, nor did she press for answers; she merely lowered her eyes and remained silent for a moment.
Then, she looked up.
In those eyes that always carried a hint of timidity and softness, there was now a trace of calmness... completely uncharacteristic of her usual self.
"So, I must 'die'." Her tone was so steady it didn't sound like she was discussing her own life and death. "Let the Ninth Prince Li Chenglu disappear from this world. And then, live on under another identity."
Li Chengyu nodded.
"The Empress Mother has already made the arrangements," he continued. "Hua Yuan has the drug for feigning death. It has been tested on death row inmates; once taken, it stops all breath and pulse for three days. After three days, the effects will naturally wear off."
"These next few days are exactly when your 'illness' flares up!"
"I will have Hua Yuan come to check your pulse a few more times. You need to act as though your condition is worsening. In seven days at most, the news of the 'Ninth Prince passing away from illness' can be released."
He paused and looked at Li Chenglu.
"Afterward, the Empress Mother will arrange for someone to escort you out of the palace. From then on, you will no longer be Li Chenglu."
"Your new name will be Cheng Lu."
Cheng Lu?
Li Chenglu silently repeated it twice in her heart.
Cheng Lu, Chenglu.
The pronunciation was the same, but the characters were different, signifying a completely different life.
"I will remember it."
Li Chengyu looked at Li Chenglu and suddenly reached out, gently rubbing the top of her head. The movement was very light, just like when they were children studying and practicing martial arts together in the Kunning Palace.
"Rest easy," he said gently. "Your Sixth Brother will handle everything."
Li Chenglu's eyes suddenly reddened.
She lowered her head and blinked hard, refusing to let the moisture fall.
"Sixth Brother..." she began, her voice choking slightly. "You have all done so much for me... I, I..."
Li Chenglu couldn't quite continue.
They always said there was no familial love in the royal family.
They said that princes and princesses like them were nothing but pawns on a chessboard, tools in the struggle for power and profit, chips to be discarded at any moment. Yet, from her Sixth Brother and the Empress Mother, she clearly felt a genuine, burning warmth.
They could have easily left her to fend for herself.
They could have let her continue being a prince, marry a wife, and have children. As for whether she would be exposed on her wedding night, and what would happen after the exposure—that was her own business, what did it have to do with anyone else?
After all, such a bizarre condition was rarely seen in a hundred years; it was understandable if they had never heard of it.
If it came down to implication, Chanying was her twin sister born of the same mother, their connection impossible to sever. But as long as Sixth Brother and the Empress Mother were ruthless enough, they wouldn't be greatly affected. They could have simply watched from the sidelines.
But they didn't.
They paved this path for her—a path fraught with danger, yet one that would allow her to survive.
"Silly words." Li Chengyu's hand moved from the top of her head and patted her shoulder. "You are the little brother I watched grow up. If I don't protect you, who will?"
He paused, then added, "From now on, you'll be my little sister."
Li Chenglu—no, Cheng Lu—smiled through her tears.
In that smile, there was relief, gratitude, and a hint of unprecedented... lightness.
She finally didn't have to pretend anymore.
She didn't have to try so hard to be the man she was "supposed to be."
She didn't have to care about the mockery and disgust.
She could be herself.
Even though the price was "dying" once, even though she would have to live incognito from now on, even though she could never return to this magnificent palace—
She could live.
Truly and genuinely live on.
...
Seven days later.
The Ninth Prince's estate was draped in pure white, inside and out.
White banners fluttered in the wind, white candles burned before the mourning hall, and white paper money was swept up by the breeze, fluttering down like a silent snow.
Palace servants bustled about with hurried steps, wearing perfectly measured expressions of grief on their faces.
In the center of the mourning hall rested a black lacquered coffin.
The lid was sealed tight.
Lying inside was merely a set of prince's robes and a body double resembling the Ninth Prince.
Meanwhile, the real "Li Chenglu" had already changed into the simple blue cloth garments of a commoner. With her head lowered, she followed an inconspicuous old wet nurse, quietly slipping away through a side gate of the imperial palace.
No one noticed her.
No one spared a second glance at the master and servant "leaving the palace to purchase supplies."
The carriage rumbled down the long street, passing through the markets she once knew so well, crossing intersection after intersection, until it finally turned into a secluded alley.
Inside the carriage, Cheng Lu lifted a corner of the curtain and looked back.
The sweeping eaves and upturned corners of the imperial palace gradually blurred in the twilight, slowly vanishing behind layers of rooftops. Those pavilions and towers where she had lived for sixteen years, those red walls and golden tiles that she once thought would trap her for a lifetime—
Had finally become nothing more than a silhouette left behind.
She watched for a while.
Then she dropped the curtain and withdrew her gaze.
"Let's go," she said softly, not knowing whether she was speaking to herself or to the carriage carrying her toward a new life.
The carriage rumbled onward.
The twilight gathered.
At the end of the alley stood an inconspicuous small courtyard. Its black lacquered gates were tightly shut, and the lintel bore no insignia, making it look no different from the surrounding ordinary houses.
But she knew.
Waiting for her behind those doors.
Were the people arranged by the Empress Mother, that brand-new identity named "Cheng Lu," and an unknown life where she could finally breathe...
