Xie Zhiyan hadn't dreamed of Ning Yuxuan for a long time.
Some emotions torment you at first, then become a habit.
They no longer come in overwhelming waves to drown you, but instead linger like a dull knife slowly cutting flesh, causing a sting when you least expect it.
That was how Xie Zhiyan felt about Ning Yuxuan.
His mother, Zheng Xinmei, and Ning Fei had been close friends for many years and often met up.
Because of this, Xie Zhiyan would occasionally hear news about Ning Yuxuan from his mother.
Like how Ning Yuxuan and Gu Yunhao had another huge fight, and she locked herself in her room for days, worrying Ning Fei sick.
Or how Ning Yuxuan and Gu Yunhao had broken up. Ning Fei was thrilled, but a few days later, Ning Yuxuan went to his door and pleaded for hours, and they ultimately got back together.
When Zheng Xinmei shared these stories, it wasn't with gossip or schadenfreude, but with a touch of heartache and bewilderment.
After all, she had watched Ning Yuxuan grow up. It was such a pity to see such a beautiful, intelligent girl in the prime of her youth suffering so much for love over a playboy.
"Zhiyan, why is that girl Xuanxuan so stubborn?"
Once, after a long chat with Ning Fei, Zheng Xinmei couldn't help but ask her son, who was visiting for the weekend to keep her company. "What's so great about that Gu boy anyway, that she's so desperate to be with him?"
Xie Zhiyan gave a faint, wry smile. "Love, I suppose."
Zheng Xinmei shook her head slightly. "Real love shouldn't be such a one-sided effort with no reciprocation. I think Xuanxuan... she's just stuck in her own head."
She took a sip of her floral tea and then smiled at her son. "And you know about love? When are you going to bring a girlfriend home for me to meet?"
Xie Zhiyan sighed. "Mom."
Zheng Xinmei set down her cup, trying to have a heart-to-heart. "Don't blame me for nudging you. Aside from the first few times, haven't I fended off all those blind dates for you? I don't want to force you, but it's been so many years now. Has there really not been a single girl who caught your eye?"
Xie Zhiyan replied flatly, "No."
Zheng Xinmei sighed. "Fine, let's not talk about this. Every time I bring it up, you just give me the same vague answers."
"Speaking of which," Zheng Xinmei picked up her teacup again, changing the subject, "if I remember correctly, Xuanxuan started liking that Gu boy back in her freshman year of college. That's over five years now, isn't it?"
Xie Zhiyan lowered his gaze, not answering, and silently took a sip of tea.
If you counted from the time Ning Yuxuan blinked her eyes at him and said, "I've fallen for someone. His name is Gu Yunhao, do you know him?" then yes, it had been over five years, nearly six.
Xie Zhiyan was very skilled at concealing his feelings.
No one had ever noticed his particular regard for Ning Yuxuan—not his mother, and not Ning Yuxuan herself.
So, Ning Yuxuan could share her affection for Gu Yunhao with him without any psychological burden.
"Xie Zhiyan, I heard you rich heirs all know each other pretty well, so you must know Gu Yunhao, right? He's really handsome and has a great personality, don't you think?"
"Xie Zhiyan, do you know if Gu Yunhao has had girlfriends before? I asked him, but he just evades the question."
"Xie Zhiyan, Gu Yunhao's birthday is next month. Give me some ideas. What kind of gifts do boys like? A lighter, a watch, or a tie?"
Later, he couldn't bear it anymore and replied to her in an icy tone, "I've told you, I'm not close with the Gu family, and Gu Yunhao is not my friend. Stop asking me these things."
He still remembered Ning Yuxuan's reaction from that day.
She frowned, looking both angry and wronged. "Fine, if you don't want to answer, forget it. I'll just ask Ning Shiyue from now on. Who are you to lecture me with that stern face?"
After that, Ning Yuxuan really did stop mentioning Gu Yunhao to him much, but she also stopped talking to him much in general.
Later, summer vacation ended. She no longer interned near the Xie family's old residence, so she had no reason to stay over at their house.
And he went abroad to complete the remainder of his studies.
After that... time passed until now.
They hadn't seen each other in a long time.
In recent years, aside from the occasional times she contacted him for help, they barely even exchanged messages, not even sending holiday greetings.
Most of the time, Xie Zhiyan filled his life with work and deliberately avoided news about Ning Yuxuan.
His mother's occasional mentions of her were already enough to disturb his thoughts.
He didn't want to add unnecessary pain to his own life.
Therefore, Xie Zhiyan hadn't dreamed of Ning Yuxuan for a long time.
Until this afternoon.
Xie Zhiyan jolted awake from his midday nap to find his back drenched in sweat, his shirt soaked through.
He had never had such a vivid dream.
In the dream, Ning Yuxuan climbed onto a rooftop, intending to end her life.
Upon getting the news, he rushed to the scene immediately but couldn't persuade her to come down no matter what he tried.
In the dream, he was almost hoarse from shouting, "Ning Yuxuan, don't jump! I can help you with anything you want! Didn't I agree every time you called me for help before?"
Ning Yuxuan stood at the edge of the rooftop, shaking her head at him with a desolate expression. "It's no use, Xie Zhiyan. You can't help me this time. No one can."
At the end of the dream, he and Ning Fei rushed towards her at the same time.
...
The sweat had soaked through the fabric of his shirt, sticking unpleasantly to his skin, but Xie Zhiyan paid it no mind.
He dialed his assistant's number. "Liu Cheng, cancel my afternoon meetings. Have the driver come now and take me to the address I'm sending you."
He remembered the building from the dream very clearly. It was a famous landmark nearby, about a ten-minute drive from the Hengjiang headquarters.
His assistant's surprised voice came through the phone. "Mr. Xie, are you sure? The afternoon meeting is—"
"Do as I said," Xie Zhiyan stated in a tone that brooked no argument.
"...Yes, Mr. Xie. Understood."
After hanging up on his assistant, Xie Zhiyan left his office without even changing his clothes.
He knew that disrupting a long-planned project schedule because of a dream was an extremely irrational decision.
But the dream had felt far too real, and the dull ache in his heart hadn't yet faded.
He didn't dare to take the chance.
As an executive assistant who had worked for Xie Zhiyan for several years, Liu Cheng's efficiency was consistently impressive.
Xie Zhiyan took the private elevator to the garage, got into the car smoothly, and headed for the destination.
The rooftop wasn't supposed to be accessible to just anyone, but with his status, getting up there wasn't difficult.
Upon arriving, he found the lock on the door to the rooftop entrance was old and worn; anyone could easily get in.
Xie Zhiyan found Ning Yuxuan up there.
When she saw him, her eyes were filled with confusion and surprise.
"...Xie Zhiyan?" Ning Yuxuan said in astonishment. "Is that you? How did you... get here?"
In that moment, Xie Zhiyan was flooded with a complex and intense emotion he had never felt before.
He wanted to rush forward, even wanted to hold her tightly.
But in the end, he remained standing in place, unmoving.
"Ning Yuxuan," Xie Zhiyan said, "come a little closer first, okay?"
...
The Ning family villa.
Xie Zhiyan and Ning Fei sat facing each other, a cup of steaming tea placed before them.
"Zhiyan, I really... I really don't know how to thank you enough!" Traces of tears still lingered at the corners of Ning Fei's eyes, her voice choked with sobs.
"I'm such a failure as a mother." Ning Fei shook her head repeatedly. "I knew long ago that Xuanxuan was in low spirits, but I still let her go out alone to clear her head... I, I really..."
Overwhelmed by emotion, she was on the verge of tears again.
Xie Zhiyan sat quietly. The turmoil of emotions within him was no less than anyone else's.
But he knew he couldn't show these feelings now, as it would only make Ning Fei lose control further.
He had to steady his own mind to be able to comfort Ning Fei.
After Ning Fei had calmed down a little on her own, Xie Zhiyan spoke gently, "Auntie Ning, you shouldn't blame yourself too much. No one could have anticipated something like this. What's important is that Yuxuan is safe now."
Unlike the scene from his dream, when Xie Zhiyan found Ning Yuxuan, she wasn't standing teetering on the edge of the rooftop, nor was she hysterical.
She was simply standing about a meter away from the edge, looking down with a lost expression in her eyes.
It seemed less like a desire to end her life and more like she was pondering the meaning of existence, or perhaps conducting some sort of survey.
When he asked her what she was doing, she gave a faint, shallow smile. "I was wondering what it would feel like to jump from here. Would it be very painful?"
Later, Ning Fei arrived, and Ning Yuxuan was brought back home.
At this very moment, Ning Yuxuan was alone in her room.
To express her gratitude, Ning Fei invited Xie Zhiyan to sit in the living room and poured him a cup of hot tea.
After an unknown length of time, Ning Fei took a deep breath.
"Sorry, Zhiyan," Ning Fei forced a smile. "I lost my composure."
Xie Zhiyan's voice was steady. "Auntie, there's no need to apologize to me. I understand how you feel."
Ning Fei said with difficulty, "...Thank you."
She knew her daughter was deeply hurt—suddenly broken up with over the phone, going to reconcile only to be rejected.
After the live broadcast of the preview, a torrent of online abuse had also come crashing down.
Ning Fei couldn't bear to see her daughter attacked and was willing to pay a high penalty to withdraw from the show early.
But her daughter rejected the idea without a second thought, insisting she must continue with the recording.
"I have to finish the show," her daughter said with a determined gaze. "Mom, I'm not quitting."
At that time, Ning Fei had thought perhaps, although her daughter was temporarily in low spirits, she was finally starting to move on, deciding to participate properly in the rest of the show and make a clean break with that ex-boyfriend.
She never imagined her daughter would entertain such thoughts, going alone to the rooftop.
Ning Fei was filled with both lingering fear and heart-wrenching pain.
Fortunately, fortunately, Xie Zhiyan had found her daughter on the rooftop.
Things hadn't yet reached the point of no return.
"Zhiyan..." Ning Fei took several deep breaths before speaking again. "You could be called Xuanxuan's savior. If it weren't for you, I don't know if I would ever see my daughter again. Even if Xuanxuan hadn't truly made up her mind to jump today, what about tomorrow, or next time... I really dare not think about it..."
Holding back tears, Ning Fei looked sincerely at the son of her long-unseen friend. "Zhiyan, Auntie will never forget this debt of gratitude in her lifetime. If... if there's anything at all I can do to repay you, you must tell me."
Xie Zhiyan lowered his gaze, the emotions in his eyes hard to decipher.
After a long moment, the man looked up and met Ning Fei's eyes. "Auntie, this is what I should have done. No repayment is needed. But there is indeed one thing I would like to ask for your consent."
Ning Fei was slightly taken aback. "What is it?"
Xie Zhiyan said, "I want to marry Yuxuan."
.
The next day was Sunday.
Ning Yuxuan came out of her room and went downstairs. The first thing she saw was Xie Zhiyan sitting in the living room.
She froze for a moment, then immediately walked over to confront him. "Xie Zhiyan! How could you take advantage of someone's misfortune?"
The man's expression was calm, his gaze unruffled as he looked at her. "Why couldn't I?"
Ning Yuxuan hadn't expected this man to be so shameless.
Her voice almost cracked. "You know perfectly well that I like Gu Yunhao, that it's always been Gu Yunhao! How could you, how could you tell my mom you want to marry me?"
As her words fell, a slight ripple finally appeared in the man's previously still eyes.
Xie Zhiyan stared at her, his voice slightly hoarse. "Do you like him that much? So much that you'd marry no one else, even willing to die for him?"
Ning Yuxuan answered without hesitation. "Yes, I like him that much! I am willing to die for him!"
The reply came out as if by instinct.
Xie Zhiyan's eyes darkened abruptly, his expression inscrutable. "Is that so."
It had been a long time since Ning Yuxuan had last seen Xie Zhiyan.
But in her memory, he had never shown her an expression like this before.
Ning Yuxuan was momentarily stunned, her thoughts drifting as she began to ponder Xie Zhiyan's question.
Did she really like Gu Yunhao that much?
Yes, she must.
Ning Yuxuan could no longer remember exactly when she started liking Gu Yunhao, or even the initial reason for her attraction.
But Gu Yunhao was her first love, the first man she had ever liked.
For five years, loving Gu Yunhao had almost become an instinct.
And she firmly believed that Gu Yunhao was her destined partner, that the two of them would inevitably grow old together.
That's why when Gu Yunhao personally broke up with her, saying the person he truly liked was named Cen Meng, she found it so unbelievable and hard to accept.
How could her destined partner possibly fall for another woman?
It must be that Gu Yunhao was momentarily confused, which is why he broke up with her.
That's why she refused to quit the variety show. She wanted to prove to Cen Meng in front of all the viewers during the subsequent live broadcasts that Gu Yunhao's true love was her.
Even if she couldn't articulate the reasons for liking Gu Yunhao when pressed by Xie Zhiyan now, it was because love itself was unreasonable.
As for thoughts of death, while standing on the rooftop, certain ideas had indeed crossed her mind.
She wondered, if she died, would Gu Yunhao be filled with regret and weep bitterly, realizing he loved her more than he had imagined?
But she was only thinking about it; she hadn't truly intended to jump.
Ning Yuxuan bit her lower lip, reaffirming her own conviction.
"That's right," she said, looking at Xie Zhiyan, as if trying to convince him, or perhaps herself. "I like Gu Yunhao. I'll marry no one else. It's always been that way."
The air grew still in an instant.
Ning Yuxuan silently met Xie Zhiyan's gaze, her heartbeat inexplicably accelerating until the thump-thump sounded loudly in her ears.
As if an eternity had passed, the man suddenly closed the distance between them.
Xie Zhiyan said in a low voice, "Then it's a pity. Your wish is not going to come true."
Ning Yuxuan's shoulders were pinned by the man, leaving her unable to move.
Xuanxuan was gradually breaking free from the plot's control.
However, she had not experienced a sudden awakening, nor had she glimpsed the original story's narrative. The aftereffects of that control lingered, and her love-struck mindset would require time to fully come to its senses.
