If it weren’t for the heavy traffic behind her at this moment, Lin Xi would have slammed on the brakes without hesitation. For the sake of driving safety, she took a deep breath to steady herself.
“Why are you suddenly asking this?” Lin Xi tried hard to keep her voice calm.
“The day the original owner was taken, she was violated by those people. The group that Qin Susu, the fake daughter, hired were notorious kidnappers from the previous life,” Qin Suyuan said quietly, lowering her head to hide the coldness and hatred flickering in her eyes.
She spoke softly, revealing what she knew: “In that book, just as the original owner’s career was starting to take off, a major incident happened in the wealthy circles. The heiress of the richest family, Gu Chenxi of the Gu family, was kidnapped.”
“The kidnappers demanded a ransom of three hundred million. They got the money, but then they killed her. When Gu Chenxi’s body was found, there wasn’t a single inch of unscathed flesh left. During the autopsy, the forensic pathologist discovered—”
Qin Suyuan’s voice suddenly grew dry, and even speaking the words became painful: “She was held captive for a month and a half. Her body was found three months after the Gu family paid the ransom. The autopsy report revealed that she had been pregnant, but before she died, her uterus had been forcibly removed.”
“Her... before death, she suffered unimaginable cruelty. Do you know about that child abuse case in country H? If you do, then you can probably imagine how inhumanely Gu Chenxi was treated before she died. Later, in a documentary, the kidnappers said they were just curious about what a fetus less than two months old looked like inside the womb. They said they only wanted to see.”
Lin Xi, of course, knew about that case — it was a world-shaking sexual abuse scandal. Her legs went weak, and she almost lost control of the gas pedal. The car rolled forward slowly. The driver behind honked twice. Lin Xi took a deep breath and gradually accelerated.
“Sister Xi, the original owner was taken for a month and a half.”
Once the immediate danger of life and death had passed, Qin Suyuan’s greatest fear was that the original owner might have become pregnant during that month of captivity: “I can accept having a child, but neither I nor the original owner could ever accept carrying such a child in our womb.”
Qin Suyuan had never met the original owner, but she had an inexplicable feeling that if the original owner had survived those kidnappers, she would have made the same choice as her.
Why bring a child conceived in such sin into this world? Why let it be born? Just thinking about harboring such a disgusting thing inside her made Qin Suyuan’s whole body shiver. Rather than endure that, she would rather have her uterus removed.
Once and for all.
Lin Xi turned the car left. “We’re going to the women’s and children’s hospital for a checkup. There are many friends in the group, including people from the cultivation world. Their world is very magical. Don’t be afraid.”
Lin Xi reached out and grabbed Qin Suyuan’s hand. Qin Suyuan’s hand was icy cold. Lin Xi repeated gently, “Don’t be afraid. Things haven’t reached their worst yet.”
Lin Xi’s hands were warm, and Qin Suyuan felt the chill in her own hands begin to fade as Lin Xi held them gently. Qin Suyuan heard herself say, “Okay.”
The maternal and child hospital was very close. Using her ID number and name, Lin Xi helped Qin Suyuan get the necessary medical examinations.
First came the ultrasound. Nothing unusual was found in her uterus. But to be safe, they also did a blood test and waited an hour and a half for the results.
Thank goodness, Qin Suyuan was not pregnant. When she received this conclusion, a relieved smile finally appeared on her face. But soon after, as if recalling something, that lightness faded away. During that period, the original owner had been continuously violated. Although the test now showed no pregnancy, it didn’t guarantee that future tests wouldn’t reveal anything. Anxiety began to stir again in Qin Suyuan’s heart.
“Let’s go see your father,” Lin Xi said as they walked toward the hospital parking lot. Once in the car, Lin Xi asked about the previous life described in the book—had the kidnappers been caught?
“They were,” Qin Suyuan replied. “The Gu family is wealthy and influential. The kidnappers angered them by harming the victim even after receiving the ransom. On Gu Chenxi’s third anniversary memorial, the Gu family assisted the police in capturing the kidnappers. There were four of them in total, and one was shot dead during the arrest for resisting.”
“This incident had a huge social impact, and the public closely followed the case. The national TV even made a documentary about it. It detailed everything—the kidnappers’ backgrounds before the crime, where they hid afterward, and how they were eventually caught. All the details were recorded thoroughly.”
Lin Xi nodded thoughtfully as she listened, then asked, “Did the book you read include all these details?”
For some reason, Lin Xi felt something was off as Qin Suyuan recounted the original owner’s story. Qin Suyuan seemed to know far too much, too precisely. With Lin Xi’s years of experience reading novels, she knew that such details shouldn’t be known by a mere reader. When authors write about minor characters, they usually omit these kinds of specifics.
Qin Suyuan didn’t notice anything unusual. She thought for a moment and said, “I don’t think the book went into that much detail. It only mentioned the incident in general terms…”
Before she could finish, her voice suddenly stopped. She looked up at Lin Xi with a frightened expression.
Lin Xi glanced at her and said, “Suyuan, try to recall the original owner’s previous life. How clear is it?”
Qin Suyuan tried hard to remember. Gradually, the soymilk cup in her hand began to tremble. An utterly unbelievable thought flashed through her mind.
“Xiao Xi, do you think the original owner might have been reborn too?” Qin Suyuan’s voice choked with emotion.
The moment she said this, the answer seemed to leap out. All those details Qin Suyuan had overlooked suddenly appeared vividly before her eyes.
No wonder—although she hadn’t finished reading that book, she could recall its contents with such clarity and detail.
For example, she remembered the original owner’s childhood, the days spent in the Qin family, and even the breakfasts she once had there.
Qin Suyuan should have realized it earlier, but instead, she closed her eyes in pain. The moment she did, a woman appeared before her—strikingly beautiful yet exuding an icy aura. Her hair was a cascade of black curls, reminiscent of seaweed, and she wore a red dress paired with an off-white shawl draped over her shoulders.
The shawl was fringed delicately, and the contrast of red and white only enhanced her exquisite beauty. Her allure was refined, like a red rose that captured every gaze.
She locked eyes with Qin Suyuan. Their gaze lingered—neither long nor short—and then, suddenly, the radiant woman smiled softly at her.
That smile bloomed like wildflowers in spring, stunning Qin Suyuan. Before she could recover from the shock, the woman spoke. Her voice matched her demeanor—cool and distant, yet the trailing notes carried an indescribable charm: “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize that by deliberately not resisting and letting them beat me to death, I would pull you into my body. I’m truly sorry for dragging you into this world.”
The dazzle faded from Qin Suyuan’s eyes, replaced by growing fear as she stared at the woman before her. During her time trapped in the world of switched identities—the false and true heiress—she had lived in an abandoned warehouse. Mirrors were a luxury she never had, and clean water was even rarer. In this world, however, she had seen her reflection.
But the difference between the woman before her and herself now was stark. This body was malnourished; even if she was pretty, there was a limit to it. Just like Lin Xi said this morning when she went out to buy porridge—the old lady in the emergency room remarked, “This child has a good foundation, but she’s too thin. No matter how good the foundation, she only looks delicate.”
The woman continued speaking, and Qin Suyuan snapped back to reality. She said, “This world is too harsh. In my previous life, everything was glamorous—I lacked neither money nor power—but I was never truly happy. Whenever I tried to feel joy, it was as if someone inside me whispered.”
“What is there for you to be happy about? Your career is successful, but your life is a failure. Your parents don’t love you, your brothers don’t love you, and no lover loves you.”
“The only reason they flock to you after you’ve made it is because you bring them benefits.”
“They will never love you.” The woman’s smile faded as she spoke, and the light in her beautiful eyes vanished, replaced by a profound stillness.
Qin Suyuan’s heart clenched tightly. She wanted to speak, but no matter how she parted her lips, not a single word escaped.
"I'm so tired, Qin Suyuan. I'm really exhausted. My whole life has been trapped under this curse of not being loved. No matter how hard I try, it feels like I can never break free. The more successful my career becomes, the deeper the emptiness inside me grows."
"Maybe it's because success came too easily, so what I can't have only matters more to me."
"When they come to me, trying to win me over, I try to accept them. But every time they look at me with kindness, my mind drifts back to those early days when I first returned to the Qin family."
"No matter right or wrong, they always blame my parents first. My brothers and younger siblings constantly insult me as a lowly, scheming woman because of Qin Susu. Without any proof, they accuse me of bullying Qin Susu's 'fiancé.' It’s as if from the moment I appeared before them, no matter what I do, they see me with suspicion—as if I’m always ill-intentioned, always inferior to Qin Susu."
"I’ve never understood why, if they never welcomed me back, they insisted on taking me in. And once I was back, why treat me that way?"
"It's such a contradiction. They say they brought me back because of the bond of blood, but everything they do, which of it truly honors that bond?"
"When I was young, I comforted myself with the thought that though they might ignore me now, one day they wouldn't be able to reach me. Outwardly, I acted carefree, but in the quiet of the night, these thoughts tortured me over and over again."
"I found countless hobbies to distract myself. I traveled the world, meeting one person after another. They were all kind, but I never dared to open my heart. I was afraid that in the end, I’d be stabbed in the back and become someone they despised."
"I even met a man who wanted to spend his life with me. I liked him very much, but I turned him down. Do you know why? My childhood experiences, those two years at the Qin family—they made me feel like I was someone unworthy of kindness. He was so good to me, and I didn’t deserve him."
"I hated the part of myself that was buried in the dust, but I couldn’t control it."
The woman spoke these words without shedding a tear, but Qin Suyuan’s tears fell freely, as if they were worthless.
The woman smiled gently at Qin Suyuan and reached out to softly wipe her face.
"I’ve spent half my life trying to make peace with myself, to reconcile with the past, but I always failed. When I was thirty-six, I made a very important decision."
"But before that, there were things I had to do. I gathered all my assets, donating a small portion to an orphanage. The rest, a large part, I invested in the Qin family’s rival." Only then did a glimmer of life return to the woman’s eyes.
“The Qin family’s rival was incredibly ruthless. In just one month, they seized fifty percent of the Qin family’s market share. They even snatched the Qin family’s biggest order. Without that order, the Qin family’s cash flow collapsed. They couldn’t find any investors. In just three short months, the Qin family had to file for bankruptcy. Their once-proud estate and properties were all auctioned off.”
“My own father, because of bribery and tax evasion, went to prison along with his beloved eldest son. Both of them ended up behind bars, singing the sorrowful song of iron bars.”
“My mother lived her whole life as a wealthy lady. But beneath that glamorous exterior, she was already rotten to the core. Her youngest son was a playboy. At a young age, he was already chasing women—and even caused a death because of it.”
“Back then, my mother paid 300,000 yuan to silence that girl’s family. Out of fear of power and influence, that family had no choice but to swallow their pride and stay quiet. But after the Qin family fell, they took out the old evidence and sued both my mother and my younger brother.”
“Qin Susu’s husband’s family was deeply tied to the Qin family. When the Qin family collapsed, his family was also heavily affected. Although they didn’t go bankrupt, their assets shrank by more than half. The He family, who had once been extremely pleased with Qin Susu, now saw her as nothing but bad luck.”
“The man Qin Susu worked so hard to win over was cold and indifferent to her. He even took a mistress on the side. It’s laughable, little Susuan—his mistress looked seven parts like me, who just arrived at the Qin family.”
“Qin Susu couldn’t bear the humiliation. She drove her car and crashed into He Shuoming’s mistress, and ended up behind bars herself. The whole family met in prison, all together, not missing a single one. Just like when they once stood against me, accusing me.”
“At that moment, my restless heart finally found peace. I climbed to the rooftop and leapt from the 36th floor. I didn’t dare jump from a lower floor—I was afraid of dying an unclean death.”
“As I fell, the wind brushed against my cheeks. I looked down at the ground rushing closer and closer. I was so happy. I felt like I was finally free. At that moment, I thought, ‘This world is so cruel. Next life, I won’t come back.’”
“If there’s a next life, I’d rather be a cat, or a dog, or even a cockroach or a rat—anything but human.”
“I never expected to wake up again. I certainly didn’t expect Qin Susu to be reborn too, and that she would even hire the people who kidnapped Gu Chenxi to abduct me.”
“I knew how vicious those people were, but I wasn’t afraid at all. I even hoped they would finish me off quickly so I could be free. I had hurt myself before; the wounds and pain they inflicted on me barely registered. I was seriously ill, little Susuan. I had no will to live left in me.”
“I never expected you would come after I died. In my entire life, I’ve felt I owed nothing to anyone—except you. You’re the only one I’ve ever wronged. I’m sorry for making you suffer in my place.” As she spoke, the woman raised her hand to cover her face. Though she hadn’t cried through all her words before, tears now slipped through her fingers.
The woman looked at Qin Suyuan, guilt so thick in her eyes it seemed to dissolve everything else. Throughout her life, she had never felt indebted to anyone. She always maintained a boundary with others, especially after experiencing the Qin family. She divided herself and others into two parts: she didn’t owe anyone, and no one owed her. But this young girl before her—there was no way she could ever repay her.
Qin Suyuan shook her head. She wanted to say that her time travel wasn’t what it seemed, that they were all pawns of fate. But no words came out when she opened her mouth.
The woman fell silent, tears streaming down her face as she reached out to embrace Qin Suyuan. Her embrace was devoid of any warmth, yet like a gentle breeze, it brought an inexplicable comfort to Qin Suyuan.
Leaning close to Qin Suyuan’s ear, the woman whispered, her voice cold and choked with emotion, “I followed you, passing through a black hole to get here. I’m growing weaker by the moment. I have this feeling that I’m about to fade away. I really wanted to see you one last time, to apologize. I’m sorry, little Suyuan.”
“I’m sorry. If there’s a next life, I’ll work as a beast of burden to make it up to you.” She took off a somewhat cheap plastic pink crystal bracelet from her wrist and placed it in Qin Suyuan’s hand. “This was a gift from a childhood friend. It’s the only complete friendship I’ve ever had.”
“Later, she fell ill. I never got to see her one last time before she passed. This bracelet—I’ve worn it all my life. It’s my most precious possession, and now I give it to you.”
The woman’s body began to turn translucent, growing weaker by the second. She sped up her words: “Don’t waste too much of yourself on them. It’s not worth it. Live your life well. Be happy—please, be happy. Do whatever you want, without any burden on your heart. Your thoughts are mine. Take care of yourself. Be happy. Be joyful…”
As the last word faded, her body scattered like particles of light—some drifting away into the air, others merging into Qin Suyuan’s body.
Qin Suyuan opened her eyes. She was still in Lin Xi’s car, which was driving steadily. The conversation she’d just had with the original owner felt like a dream.
But the bracelet suddenly in her hand told her everything she had experienced was real.
A wave of sadness washed over her. Tears brimmed in her eyes as she turned to Lin Xi and said, “Xiao Xi, I just saw the original owner.”
They happened to be stopped at a red light. Lin Xi heard this and slammed on the brakes, staring at Qin Suyuan in shock. “What did you say? It’s been less than five seconds since our last conversation.”
Qin Suyuan blinked, tears raging in her eyes. "Yes, in that brief moment—less than five seconds—when I closed my eyes, I saw her."
"Her previous life... in her past life, she committed suicide. She said her life was just too painful," Qin Suyuan cried as she recounted the words the woman had spoken to her in the dream.
Lin Xi listened, feeling as if a heavy stone was pressing down on her chest, making it hard to breathe.
From what Qin Suyuan relayed, it was clear that in the world of the book, Qin Suyuan was seriously ill—suffering from severe depression. The words also revealed that she had fought hard, actively struggling against the darkness within her.
But her fight failed, and so she jumped from the thirty-sixth floor.
Lin Xi had once read an explanation online that those who suffer from depression are often kind-hearted people. Their lives have been filled with too much injustice. They don’t blame others; instead, they internalize every fault, repeatedly questioning themselves: Why don’t others like me? Is it because I’m not good enough? Not trying hard enough?
This kind of thinking tortures them day after day. Their minds become a battlefield, trapped in a dead-end alley with no way out, no matter how hard they try to think their way through it.
When they can no longer convince themselves to keep going, they choose to end it all. Along the way, they instinctively try to save themselves—but successful stories of self-rescue are far too rare.
The traffic light’s countdown ended. Lin Xi blinked and said, “Listen to her. Live your own life well. Be happy. When you’re happy, that’s the best revenge against those people.”
Qin Suyuan stared out at the passing scenery, her voice hoarse as she quietly agreed.
If she hadn’t met the original owner, she likely would have returned to that world and gone straight back to the Qin family, facing off closely against Qin Susu and the others.
Qin Suyuan was even prepared to spend ten years to settle the matter. But the original owner said she wanted Qin Suyuan to be herself, to be happy. So Qin Suyuan no longer wanted to go back to the Qin family.
Returning to the Qin family would never bring her happiness. After all, how could she be happy living with a bunch of beasts? So she decided to stay far away from the Qin family, to grow stronger little by little, and when she was powerful enough, she would strike the Qin family hard.
Until then, she would just let herself be happy. Making herself happy was the original owner’s final wish. Her entire life had been full of suffering; she spent it all searching for a love that was unconditional.
Whether that love was from family, friends, or a man—she was deeply disappointed too many times. Those disappointments made her unable to believe or accept love when someone finally wanted to give it to her without reservation.
That was why she cherished that plastic crystal bracelet so much—it was the only friendly gesture she had ever received from the outside world when she was still naive and clueless. Because she had tasted so little sweetness in life, even the smallest bit of sweetness was something she would savor for a lifetime.
Qin Suyuan didn’t want the original owner’s last wish to go unfulfilled. Even if the original owner could never see it again, she wanted her to know that she had firmly chosen herself.
If the original owner had a next life, Qin Suyuan hoped she wouldn’t return to that suffocating, despair-filled little world. She wished for her to live a better life, to be someone loved by her parents.
Lin Xi gently squeezed her hand.
By the time they traveled from Pingyuan City to Qin Suyuan’s home in Lingfeng City, it had already been three and a half hours. Qin Suyuan had fallen asleep before the car even left Pingyuan.
When their friends asked about her, Lin Xi stopped at a service area to use the restroom and, with Qin Suyuan’s consent, shared her situation in their group chat.
Faced with Qin Suyuan’s ordeal, the group members could only express their sympathy.
[Primitive World Ah Huahua: Every time I think I’m the most unfortunate one here, someone even more miserable shows up. Those wicked people are truly disgusting.]
Ah Huahua had originally thought her own experience of being transported to the primitive world was bad enough, but she never expected there could be someone worse off.
Now, Ah Huahua didn’t feel miserable at all. Although her food and clothing in the primitive world were far from ideal, at least she didn’t have to endure the torment that Ye Bingbing and Qin Suyuan suffered, nor the mental anguish that Wen Wan faced.
[Killing Wife to Ascend Chu Qianmo: @The Real Daughter Switched at Birth Qin Suyuan, I just dug up a martial arts manual from the space that’s suitable for worlds without spiritual energy. It’s called the Thirteen Easy Comfort Scriptures. Once mastered, one person can take on five burly men without trouble. Do you want it?]
After Chu Qianmo said this, he tagged everyone in the group chat one by one. Everyone wanted this martial arts manual, but there was only one copy. So the task of photocopying and passing it on to each member fell to Lin Xi.
Lin Xi also wanted the manual and thanked Chu Qianmo repeatedly.
Now, the group members would share small items with each other daily, but most of the time they no longer traded—they simply shared.
Just like when Lin Xi’s family slaughtered a pig before, she passed the pork feast around to the group members. They would also share good things they encountered in life with everyone in the group.
No one was deliberately trying to exchange anymore.
After finishing the conversation in the group, Lin Xi suddenly remembered what Chu Qianmo had told her that morning about the abortion pill. After some thought, she decided to talk it over with Qin Suyuan.
“If you take it, the embryo that’s about to form in your womb will be killed, right?” Qin Suyuan confirmed.
“Yes. But the damage to the body is severe, and it could cause lifelong infertility,” Lin Xi explained, relaying Chu Qianmo’s description. This particular abortion pill had once been specially commissioned by a noblewoman from the original owner of the “Killing Wife to Ascend” title.
The lifelong infertility condition was her own requirement. The reason was that her husband couldn’t control his desires—any woman he saw, he would try to drag to bed.
That man was extremely fertile, already fathering fifty or sixty children, and the family simply couldn’t afford to support them all. The noblewoman was truly at her wit’s end and could only resort to this drastic measure.
But her stance and personality instinctively made her dislike those women, which led to this rule.
The rightful master of the "Wife-Slaying Path" who could truly kill his wife to prove his path was indeed ruthless. Faced with such conditions, he agreed without a second thought. While refining the pills, he even made a large batch at once.
Qin Suyuan said, "I want to take it."
The original seventeen-year-old Lexi host, due to malnutrition, barely had regular periods—sometimes only a few times a year. But no period didn’t mean no ovulation.
During the time she was kidnapped, the original host was assaulted almost every day. Although she wasn’t pregnant now, Qin Suyuan couldn’t be sure if she would be in the coming days.
She originally planned to return to that world and have her uterus removed, but Chu Qianmo had a medicine that could solve the problem once and for all—so why not use it?
Qin Suyuan was certain she would never regret this decision. There was no need to pass on poor genes.
If, in the future, she met someone in that world she wanted to be with forever, and he minded this, Qin Suyuan would leave without a second thought.
When it came to love, Qin Suyuan had the carefree attitude typical of the post-2000 generation.
There are millions of men; if one doesn’t work out, just move on.
Qin Suyuan insisted repeatedly, and Lin Xi agreed. After the delivery time refreshed that evening, the pill and Yishu Thirteen Classics were sent over together with Chu Qianmo.
After a short rest, the two set off again. They exited the highway near the Lingfeng City service area, and after a short drive, they arrived in the city.
Qin Suyuan’s home was right in the heart of Lingfeng City—a renovated old residential complex from a few years ago.
Qin Suyuan said that the property management had changed recently, and the greenery and facilities inside the complex had been upgraded. At this moment, standing at the entrance, the first thing in sight were two red plum trees on either side of the gate, blooming as vibrantly as fire.
Chinese knots hung from the branches of the plum trees, and when the wind blew, the tassels on the knots swayed gently.
The complex didn’t allow outside vehicles to enter, so Lin Xi parked by the roadside and was about to get out when Qin Suyuan grabbed her hand.
Her gaze fixed sharply on a middle-aged woman ahead. "That’s my mom."
Lin Xi looked over. The woman wore red clothes, heavy makeup, black kitten heels, and a bright, happy smile.
Lin Xi found it painfully glaring.
But Qin Suyuan’s expression was unusually calm. She said to Lin Xi, "I’ve probably been dead for about half a month? She really has no heart."
After speaking, Qin Suyuan sneered coldly, "But it’s quite normal. At my grandmother’s funeral, she even laughed uncontrollably."
Qin Suyuan felt she really shouldn’t expect anything from this woman. If she didn’t look so much like her, she would have urged her father to take her for a paternity test.
Fu Ladi smiled as she passed by their car and swayed her waist as she walked into the complex.
As soon as she arrived, the people sitting outside the nearby shops fell silent, watching her enter the complex. Only after she walked away did their chatter resume.
Qin Suyuan released Lin Xi’s hand. "Let’s go, downstairs."
One of them got off the car, heading toward the store. As usual, they bought a bottle of water as a cover, then both stood openly at the store’s entrance, eavesdropping on the conversation inside.
“Look at Fu Ladi—where’s the trace of someone who just lost her daughter? She’s all dressed up, looking like she just remarried or something.”
“It’s been so many years, and you still don’t get Fu Ladi? To her, Qin Suyuan was just a tool to secure her footing in the Qin family. What she truly cares about are her brothers and her nieces and nephews.”
“It’s really a tragedy. How could someone as good as Qin Shichun end up with a woman like Fu Ladi?”
“That’s the old saying, right? A great man doesn’t always have a good wife. But at least now it’s better—Qin Shichun and Fu Ladi are divorced. I heard she didn’t take anything, only keeping the belongings that Suyuan had accumulated at home since childhood.”
“Poor thing. Do you think Fu Ladi even sleeps at night? Because she caused a scene at Qin Shichun’s workplace, making Suyuan rush back anxiously—and then the car accident happened. She’s the one who caused her daughter’s death.”
“She probably sleeps just fine. Look at her—these days, if she’s not out dancing in the square, she’s attending those activities for middle-aged and elderly folks. I heard she’s been flirting with several men, trying to pick one with good prospects to marry.”
“Yeah, before she stubbornly refused to divorce, I thought she cared about Qin Shichun. Turns out, it’s like this?”
“Hey, you don’t understand. Qin Shichun is not only a good earner but also has a good temper. After the divorce, where else could she find a man like him? Without the marriage, she’d have no money to support her brother’s offerings.”
“So now that she’s divorced, she’s looking for the next husband. I heard she’s asking for a bride price of thirty thousand yuan. Doesn’t even care how old she is. That’s bold.”
“Poor Suyuan, poor Qin Shichun. My son said Qin Shichun quit his government job and started working at Xishan Cemetery. He said he wants to watch over his daughter’s grave.”
Everyone shook their heads and sighed.
Qin Suyuan tilted her head back, holding Lin Xi’s hand as they left.
Once in the car, she stared blankly ahead, unable to hide the sorrow on her face. Lin Xi took out her phone to navigate to Xishan Cemetery and drove in that direction. Passing by a flower shop, she got out to buy a bouquet.
Xishan Cemetery is located on a hill in the western suburbs of Lingfeng City. Lin Xi followed the roadside signs as they drove toward the cemetery.
The winding cement road up the hill was lined on both sides with rows of orange trees.
The oranges hung bright red against the lush green leaves, heavy with fruit.
The cemetery sat atop the hill, its sides bordered by cement brick walls. On the left side of the black tile gate, golden characters spelled out “Xishan Cemetery.”
Next to the black gate were three small buildings. The largest one bore a sign reading “Ashes Storage.” One of the other two was an office, and the last had no sign at all. But through the half-open window, an iron-framed bed could be seen inside.
Standing in the cemetery and looking ahead, distant mountains encircle the view, while emerald-green river water flows quietly from the foot of the hills. Occasionally, tiny transport boats, shrunk to a fraction of their real size, glide across the river.
Qin Suyuan stared blankly at it all. Her father worked at the Education Bureau, but in her heart, her impression of him seemed frozen in the days when he was young.
Back then, he was just an ordinary teacher. He liked to wear white shirts, and there was always a triangular ruler tucked under his arm. He wore glasses, and his fingers were perpetually white—stained by chalk dust.
Even after he moved to the Education Bureau, he remained meticulous. His approach to work was just as rigorous as when he was at school, never once careless. His style of dress hadn’t changed over the years.
Only the things he held had shifted—from the triangular ruler to newspapers, reference books, and a thermos cup.
Qin Suyuan couldn’t imagine what kind of feelings her refined and scholarly father must have carried when he resigned from the Education Bureau to come work here.
With a creak, the gate swung open, and Qin Shichun stepped out. “Hello, are you here to pay respects at the grave?”
Lin Xi was prepared. While passing a flower shop in the city, she had bought a bouquet of white chrysanthemums.
“Yes. We’re here to pay respects. But it’s our first time, and we don’t know exactly where my friend is buried. May we look around ourselves?”
Qin Shichun’s gaze fell on Qin Suyuan, who was behind Lin Xi, sobbing so hard she was gasping for breath.
He had been working at Xishan Cemetery for less than a month, and he had already received several groups of mourners like Qin Suyuan. He thought to himself, this was probably another tragic story of star-crossed lovers torn apart, with one side lost.
Life was always so unpredictable. Swallowing the sorrow in his heart, he said, “Go ahead. Take your time, look carefully, and please don’t make loud noises.”
“Okay.”
Lin Xi took Qin Suyuan’s hand and followed Qin Shichun into the cemetery. Before them lay tiered steps paved with marble, while rows of polished tombstones stood neatly among the low mountain pines.
Qin Suyuan’s gaze kept drifting toward Qin Shichun.
She was twenty years old this year. Her father was only forty-five. Before her accident, he had stood tall and straight, with jet-black hair. But now, his body seemed stooped, and his hair had turned gray.
The hand that once held a pen was now clutching a broom and dustpan. He still wore his beloved white shirt, but it no longer held the crispness it once did.
Sensing Qin Suyuan’s gaze, Qin Shichun turned around and looked at her. For some reason, his heart softened toward this frail young woman. Seeing her was like seeing his own daughter.
This feeling left Qin Shichun dazed for a moment, then he quietly chuckled to himself in self-mockery.
Since his daughter had passed away, every time he saw a girl about her age, he would always steal a few extra glances, then think to himself how wonderful it would be if his Qin Suyuan were still here.
But each time he thought that, he knew all too clearly—his daughter was never coming back.
Watching Qin Suyuan cry so hard she was nearly fainting, he said gently, “Go find your friends. The departed are gone; we must look forward. Please take care.”
Those words made Qin Suyuan burst into uncontrollable sobs. Lin Xi took her hand and they climbed the steps together. They searched the entire cemetery, and finally, at the top of the hill, they found Qin Suyuan’s grave.
The Qin Suyuan on the photo looked different from the Qin Suyuan who stood there now. In the picture, she wore two neat braids and smiled radiantly. In front of the tombstone, there were some expensive pastries and fruits laid out as offerings.
The inscription on the tombstone read: “Beloved daughter Qin Suyuan’s grave. Her father, Qin Shichun, stands here in tears.”
Just those few words made Lin Xi’s throat tighten with emotion.
Those were all the things Qin Suyuan loved to eat in this world. Lin Xi quietly placed a bouquet of white chrysanthemums before the tombstone.
Qin Suyuan turned to gaze at the distant green mountains and waters. She noticed the low-growing plants surrounding the grave, none taller than her ankles.
They were the gesang flowers she loved.
Her father, after her death, had planted gesang flowers all around her grave.
The pain in her chest was so intense she could barely breathe. She couldn’t imagine what kind of heart her father had when he planted those flowers.
She searched the cemetery for Qin Shichun’s figure and found him on the other side, sweeping fallen stones and leaves off the path into a dustpan. Occasionally, he crouched down to pull weeds from between the cracks.
Wiping away her tears, she said to Lin Xi, “Xiao Xi, let’s go. Please, come visit him often.”
Lin Xi had already promised this to several people. The place wasn’t far from Pingyuan, and it was easy to come and go. She said, “I will.”
The two of them descended the steps. With each step, Qin Suyuan felt the courage to live well in the world beyond.
Halfway down the hill, they met Qin Shichun. He looked at them kindly and asked, “Leaving?”
“Leaving,” Qin Suyuan replied, her voice trembling with sobs.
She took a small bottle of mineral water from Lin Xi’s hand. “I’m leaving. You must take care of yourself too.”
Qin Shichun shouldn’t have taken the bottle, but the sorrow in Qin Suyuan’s eyes made it impossible to refuse.
Hearing her strange words, he thought she must be responding to what he had said earlier.
He nodded blankly. “Alright, you too.”
Choking back tears, Qin Suyuan said, “Goodbye. Make sure you drink the water.”
“Okay, goodbye.”
Qin Suyuan grasped Lin Xi’s hand and hurried down the hill, walking so fast it seemed like she was running away.
Qin Shichun watched their backs as they walked away. He knew it was terribly impolite, but somehow a voice inside him kept urging, "Look carefully, look carefully, take in every detail."
Qin Suyuan didn’t dare to look back. She climbed into the car, and Lin Xi turned the wheel, driving down toward the foot of the mountain. The rumbling roar of the car engine drowned out Qin Suyuan’s quiet sobs.
Qin Suyuan said to Lin Xi, "Xiao Xi, I didn’t even dare to say a proper goodbye to my father... I didn’t dare to look at him more than a few times... I didn’t even tell him not to be too brokenhearted... That his daughter will live well in another world... I never told him that I am his daughter..."
"Strangers facing each other. Xiao Xi, my father and I—we are strangers facing each other..." Qin Suyuan’s cries choked with sorrow and despair, deeply moving Lin Xi.
Even though she was used to farewells, Lin Xi couldn’t help but be overwhelmed by the grief.
