Why Are You Crying (Revised)
The stench of blood in the tent had only faded a few days ago. Those memorials to the throne had been soaked in bloody water, blurring the words on them. Wei Heng had no choice but to send someone back to tell those ministers to submit another copy.
Wei Heng had just finished organizing today's memorials when the tent flap was abruptly lifted.
Given Wei Heng's current status, aside from the one still locked up in prison, there was only one other person who would act with such disregard for the rules.
"Your Majesty," Wei Heng rose and bowed.
The weather lately had been constantly overcast with light rain, allowing the sunlight-averse Emperor a rare chance to appear normally during the day.
Lu Hexu sat on the desk behind Wei Heng, casually flipped open a memorial to glance at it, then picked up Wei Heng's brush, dipped it in cinnabar ink, and began to annotate the memorials.
After finishing one, he rested his chin in one hand and said lazily, "She is sick."
Wei Heng paused, then realized who "she" was.
"Sick people are suited for bland food. Shall this servant prepare something for Your Majesty?"
"Mm."
A moment later, Wei Heng returned carrying a food box.
He walked up to Lu Hexu and opened the box. "Your Majesty, inside is a bowl of plain congee made from pearl rice, paired with five side dishes covering sweet, salty, spicy, sour, and bitter flavors." After speaking, Wei Heng hesitated for a moment before carefully saying, "If Your Majesty truly has her in your heart..."
"Heart?" Lu Hexu lowered his eyes to look at Wei Heng.
"Wei Heng, do you believe in the heart? The heart is the most untrustworthy thing of all." As if recalling something, Lu Hexu's expression instantly darkened.
He said no more, reached out to take the food box, and turned to leave the tent.
Wei Heng was already accustomed to this Emperor's unpredictable temperament.
He had also heard the rumors outside over the past few days.
The former Crown Prince, such a benevolent and soft-hearted person—how could he have turned into this current state?
When the Wei family was at its peak, Wei Heng had once accompanied his father into the palace and met that Crown Prince.
He was born as lovely as jade and snow, gentle and approachable, with an extremely intelligent nature. At a young age, he had already begun reading the Four Books and Five Classics. He understood etiquette yet remained lively, treating others without a trace of arrogance. He knew his boundaries yet remained endearing. Even when dealing with palace servants and eunuchs, he maintained a humble and polite demeanor. One glance was enough to tell he had been impeccably raised.
Wei Heng never forgot that first meeting, feeling a sense of joy in his heart that he would one day serve such a monarch.
Later, the Wei family was condemned. He suffered castration and was sent into the palace prison, never having the chance to see that Crown Prince again. However, he met another young boy.
Growing up in the palace prison, wearing a dirty eunuch's uniform, the boy was frail, spoke little, and had watchful eyes. He was like a stray kitten forced to face the wolves and tigers of the world alone before even fully growing up.
He never got close to anyone, only speaking a bit more with an elderly palace maid.
Had the young boy not suddenly fainted, Wei Heng would never have had the chance to approach him.
His face was simply too dirty, but in the palace prison, even bathing was a luxury for the lowest-ranking eunuchs.
Fortunately, it was summer. Wei Heng used a handkerchief dipped in well water to clean him.
Then, he saw a face he would never forget for the rest of his life.
A face exactly the same as that Crown Prince's.
Although it had been over half a year since he had seen the Crown Prince, Wei Heng was certain he was not mistaken.
Later, this young boy disappeared.
Sometime after that, he was transferred out of the palace prison to serve beside the current Emperor.
The youth was barely fourteen, wearing a bright yellow dragon robe. His exposed skin bore many wounds. He sat there resting his chin on one hand, his face stained with blood. His eyes were cold, cast downwards, not at all resembling a fourteen-year-old child.
He softly called his name, "Wei Heng."
The cold, hoarse voice of the youth echoed in the hall, striking his spine and making his body subconsciously bow even lower.
"Wei Heng?" That voice sounded again, as if calling him.
Wei Heng had a feeling that he should look up, otherwise he might die.
Although he knew that with his status he was not allowed to look directly at the Emperor, his sixth sense was incredibly strong at that moment.
He had to look up.
Wei Heng raised his eyes, his pupils reflecting the youth sitting on the throne before him.
Was it that gentle and approachable Crown Prince from back then?
No.
It was clearly the exact same face, yet the person who popped into Wei Heng's mind was someone else entirely.
This face merged with the young boy from the palace prison in his memory.
But how could that be possible?
The youth slowly walked down from that massive dragon throne and rested a single hand on his shoulder.
The palace hall was terrifyingly cold, and the hand resting on his shoulder was chilled to the bone.
The youth's voice came from above.
He said, "It is exactly what you are thinking."
After not seeing him for many years, the once frail and vigilant young boy had grown up. His figure was still slender, but the weak vigilance in his eyes was gone, replaced by a gloomy madness.
Wei Heng knelt on the ground, not daring to look up.
He truly did not know what had happened.
He only knew that the person everyone thought was the Crown Prince was not the Crown Prince, but someone else.
This was a monumental secret.
Bearing this secret, he shouldn't have been left alive.
But he survived.
At first, Wei Heng thought it might be because the Emperor remembered their past ties; after all, during those years in the palace prison, he had looked after him many times.
But when Wei Heng saw those lifeless bodies being dragged out, he knew there were no past ties at all.
He was just lucky.
This Emperor suffered from madness. He would always serve him carefully on normal days, and the moment he sensed anything amiss, he would immediately leave.
Such caution had kept him alive until now.
Wei Heng felt that the palace maid named Su Zhenzhen was probably just lucky as well.
But a person's luck always runs out eventually.
Before the Emperor said what he just did, he had actually thought this palace maid held a place in His Majesty's heart.
But after the Emperor spoke those words, Wei Heng understood that it was all merely because His Majesty still harbored a bit of interest.
The Emperor was still the same Emperor.
Wei Heng stood up from the ground. Because he had been kneeling for too long, his legs were somewhat numb.
The tent was extremely quiet. Wei Heng rested his hands on the desk to recover for a moment before moving behind it to continue reading the memorials.
-
Su Zhenzhen lay on a narrow bed. In front of her was a small table holding a bowl of plain congee and a few small dishes of sides.
Su Zhenzhen looked listless and had no strength in her body.
Even the hand she used to lift her chopsticks felt limp.
She managed to pick up a piece of salted duck egg, paired it with a mouthful of plain congee, and put it into her mouth.
She didn't have much of an appetite, so it was the perfect time to eat something bland.
The rich, oily salted duck egg tasted savory and fragrant. Paired with the soft, sticky grains of the thin congee, it slid smoothly down her bitter throat, moistening it just right.
Su Zhenzhen finally felt a bit of substance return to her weightless body.
"Are they still killing outside?" Su Zhenzhen took another bite of salted duck egg and congee, then picked up a little pickled vegetable.
A human's ability to adapt was truly remarkable.
Before, she definitely would have thrown up so much she wouldn't be able to eat, but now she could actually drink congee while casually discussing murder with Mu Dan.
The taste of this salted duck egg was really good.
Su Zhenzhen was starting to work up an appetite.
"Mhm." The young man sat lazily on the edge of her bed. Sushan crouched on his lap, being stroked idly by him. The kitten felt so comfortable that it rolled over on his knees, exposing its belly, its four paws kneading against his robes.
From outside came the sound of the Embroidered Uniform Guards walking by with their embroidered spring swords at their waists, solemn and chilling.
Su Zhenzhen subconsciously fell silent.
She even put down her chopsticks and covered Sushan's and Mu Dan's mouths as well.
There was no such plot in the original novel.
According to the original plot's development, the tyrant at this point in time would have already gone completely insane. He would be a top-tier psychopath who recognized no family or friends, couldn't tell human from animal, and hacked at anyone he saw. He would be controlled by Shen Yanci in the imperial temple, his collarbones pierced by thick chains to imprison him against the wall. Even so, he would manage to escape. Zhao Lingyun would lead men to hunt him down, and during their fight, this top-tier psychopath would drag his broken body, acting as if he felt no pain at all, killing many people to accompany him in death before finally being besieged and hacked to pieces.
Therefore, the tyrant in the original novel naturally wouldn't have the time or energy to care about the "Heavenly Punishment."
It wasn't until this squad of Embroidered Uniform Guards passed by that Su Zhenzhen let go. She then couldn't help but lower her voice and ask, "How long do you think this killing will go on?"
Lu Hexu's lips carried the faint salty and moist scent of sweat from the woman's fingertips. He pinched Sushan's ear, a thin piece that twitched and trembled. "Tomorrow."
Su Zhenzhen was surprised. "Ah, that fast?"
The young man raised his eyes to look at her. "Aren't you afraid?"
"Actually, I'm not that afraid anymore." After saying this, Su Zhenzhen quickly added, "Of course, killing people is still bad." Pausing, Su Zhenzhen remembered how Mu Dan had previously turned the second young master of the Zhao family into a human swine and hung him at the gates of the Zhao manor.
The woman couldn't hide anything on her face at all.
Lu Hexu felt that even if he didn't listen to her inner thoughts, he could guess what she was thinking just by looking at her expression.
The young man's expression slowly turned cold. He reached out and pinched her chin. "Afraid of me killing people?"
The fingertips pressed against her chin carried a chilling temperature. Out of nervousness, Su Zhenzhen's fingers helplessly tugged at her clothes.
Her voice was a bit hoarse, caused by a low-grade fever. She looked at him with red eyes. "I'm not afraid of you killing people. I'm just afraid of you dying."
[Don't die.]
Yes, compared to knowing that Mu Dan killed people, she was more afraid of him dying.
For Su Zhenzhen, she had received a modern education. Especially as a traditional Chinese medicine doctor who healed the sick and saved lives, she bore a heavier moral shackle than ordinary people.
But Mu Dan was not like her. His environment had shaped his philosophy of survival.
Su Zhenzhen knew just how harsh the living conditions here were.
She didn't know how Mu Dan had survived in such a cannibalistic imperial palace, carrying the identity of a hidden spy and taking risks lingering around Wei Heng. She only knew that he had many injuries on his body, and new ones were constantly being added.
She knew that if he didn't live like this, he probably wouldn't survive at all.
In the face of survival, one cannot speak of morality.
Lu Hexu stood quietly by the bed, listening to the woman speak.
He had thought she would urge him not to kill.
After all, everyone was afraid of him killing people.
Everyone felt he shouldn't kill so many people.
But she said she only hoped he would live.
In the past, she had said such things too.
But she hadn't known he would kill people back then.
People always judge others by their own moral standards.
But others are not you; they don't have the inherently superior living conditions you were born with.
Su Zhenzhen pursed her lips. She reached out and grasped Lu Hexu's forearm.
The woman's fingertips, burning hot from the fever, pressed against his clothing. Then, she carefully lifted his cuff, revealing the mottled scars.
"Does it still hurt?"
The wounds had already healed, leaving only some ugly scars.
Originally, Lu Hexu didn't care about having scars on his body. After all, how could someone who didn't even care about his own life care about some scars?
The pads of the woman's fingers gently stroked his scars, so lightly, as if afraid of hurting him.
Because she was sick, her eyes were naturally suffused with moisture. Now, leaning against the headboard with her eyes downcast, from Lu Hexu's perspective, she looked even more pitiful and full of worry.
It seemed that if he said it hurt, she would burst into tears the very next moment.
"It doesn't hurt."
"But it looks like it hurts a lot."
The sick woman suddenly became clingy, sentimental, and even prone to crying.
In just the blink of an eye, a tear rolled from her moist eyes and smashed against the back of his hand.
When the weather turned cold, Lu Hexu's body temperature would drop, becoming even slightly lower than that of an ordinary person.
That scalding tear struck him and trickled down between his fingers.
Lu Hexu subconsciously twitched his fingertips.
Su Zhenzhen also didn't know why she had suddenly become so fragile.
She thought it was probably because she was sick.
Feeling a bit embarrassed, Su Zhenzhen let go of the young man's hand, which she had gripped until it turned red.
She lowered her head, revealing her fluffy hair. She was wearing the autumn clothes she had just changed into today, which were thicker than summer garments. However, because the measurements weren't quite accurate, they were an inch too wide at the waist.
The edge of her top was pushed up, revealing a corner of pale, smooth skin pressed against the water-blue fabric, highlighting a hue even lighter than the blue. From Lu Hexu's angle, he had an unobstructed view of the curve of her lower back, slender and tapering inward, so delicate that he could encircle it with just one hand.
What was she crying for.
He just wouldn't die, that was all.
The smell of medicine in the small bed tent had not yet dissipated when the young man's lithe body pressed closer. He grabbed her chin with one hand, his slender fingers resting against her cheek as he turned her face toward him.
Recently, the temperature outside had dropped sharply, so Su Zhenzhen's bed tent was always sealed tightly.
Only a single silk lantern was lit inside.
The faded puppy and kitten silk lanterns were placed on the table, emitting a soft, lustrous glow.
Sushan was sleeping crouched on a chest. Hearing the commotion, it opened one eye to look, but losing interest, it closed the eye again.
Su Zhenzhen looked up at the young man in front of her.
The young man stood by the bed, his gaze flickering slightly. "I won't die."
Su Zhenzhen's lips were bitten open and licked by the young man, and she let out a low, trembling sound.
Because of her illness, her body was very weak.
Just a simple deep kiss was enough to leave her breathless.
When their lips parted, a silvery thread of saliva connected them.
Su Zhenzhen's cheeks flushed bright red, and it was hard to tell if it was from the fever or from shyness.
Lu Hexu's thumb rubbed across her chin and trailed down her neck. His touch was a bit heavy, leaving a rosy hue on her fair, smooth skin.
His gaze drifted from the corners of her eyes to the tip of her nose, the corners of her lips, down to her neck, collarbones, and the fingertips gripping his wrist, every part of her was flushed with a beautiful redness.
So red.
"Very beautiful," the young man murmured in admiration, as if appreciating a piece of art he had meticulously cared for.
Lu Hexu's hand gripped the back of her neck.
Though it could be called a grip, it was more accurate to say he was cradling it.
He supported the back of her neck. The thin patch of skin was soaked in scalding heat, as if it would melt his flesh right onto it. The woman's hair was scattered completely across his palm and forearm, just as hot as its owner.
Lu Hexu pressed down again, plundering the woman's breath once more. Su Zhenzhen, who was already struggling to breathe, frowned uncomfortably. Her hands reached down to grab the hem of the young man's clothes. It wasn't until she truly couldn't catch her breath that he finally let her go, still looking as if he hadn't had enough.
Sincerity.
He didn't need such a thing.
Because in this world, it simply didn't exist.
The way things were right now was fine.
As long as she didn't betray him.
Otherwise, he would kill her.
Su Zhenzhen hugged Mudan, burying her face into his embrace.
Lu Hexu gently turned her face back and gave her a light peck on the lips. "You haven't taken your medicine yet."
Su Zhenzhen's face immediately scrunched up.
[I don't want to take medicine.]
Taking advantage of the moment, she buried her face back into Lu Hexu's chest to escape.
The young man was very thin, so thin that his bone structure was prominent, and she could feel his bones through his clothes.
Su Zhenzhen hugged his waist, humming softly, her words unintelligible.
[I only want to drink you.]
The fingertips resting on the back of her neck paused.
Lu Hexu turned around and brought the medicine over.
Su Zhenzhen took a deep breath, knowing she couldn't escape it. Just as she was preparing to down it all in one gulp...
The young man standing by the bed took a mouthful of the medicine, pinched her lips open, and lowered his head to feed it to her.
Su Zhenzhen's eyes widened instinctively.
When the bitter medicinal liquid was fed into her mouth, she subconsciously puffed out her cheeks, refusing to swallow it down, and then was brought to tears by the bitterness.
That hand then supported her jaw and lifted it up. She was forced to open her mouth and swallow, and immediately her body felt nauseous and wanted to throw up.
"Don't spit it out."
Lu Hexu quickly covered the woman's mouth with his hand.
Su Zhenzhen looked at him with teary eyes, looking incredibly pitiful.
[Bitter bitter bitter bitter bitter...]
Lu Hexu was about to be annoyed to death by the noise.
He let go, shooed Sushan off the chest, then picked out the bottle of throat-soothing pills. He poured out two, ate one himself first, then walked back to Su Zhenzhen and popped one into her mouth.
This was the sugar pill with triple the amount of honey that Su Zhenzhen had previously made for Mudan.
Ah, it was so cloying.
Bitter and cloying at the same time.
Su Zhenzhen couldn't spit it out, nor could she swallow it.
She looked at him, her eyes brimming with tears.
[If you weren't taking care of me, I probably would have recovered a long time ago.]
A little something to soothe the nerves had been added to the medicine. After taking it, Su Zhenzhen began to feel drowsy again.
"Don't go." Su Zhenzhen's eyes were practically glued shut. Watching the young man rise from the small stool, she instinctively opened her mouth to call out and stop him.
She didn't want to be alone.
Lu Hexu tilted his head to look at her.
The woman was curled up under the covers. The small tent was stuffy, and a flush seeped into her cheeks. Even though she was exhausted, she still tried hard to keep her eyes open, looking at him with moist eyes.
The young man walked to the edge of the bed and looked down at her.
His slightly cool fingers brushed across her sweaty forehead, where a stray lock of hair was stuck. He traced down her cheek and pulled the hair away from her chest, bringing with it the dampness of sweat.
It was very hot.
"Sleep, I won't go."
Hearing his affirmative answer, Su Zhenzhen finally closed her eyes in peace.
The sky gradually darkened, and the Brocade Guards patrolled past the small tent once again.
A faint lamplight lit up inside the tent, illuminating a hazy corner.
A corner of the tent's flap was rolled up, and a slender eunuch emerged carrying a wooden bucket.
He first took a couple of steps toward the river, remembered something, and then changed direction, heading toward the mountain spring pool further ahead.
This morning, when other eunuchs had delivered water, the woman had taken one look and said nothing. It wasn't until the eunuch delivering the water left that she asked him, "Is it water from the river?"
"Yes."
She stopped talking, but after a while, she asked again, "Is the water we drink from there too? Is my medicine made with it too?"
Lu Hexu walked a short distance and realized he hadn't brought his glazed lantern.
He paused for a moment but didn't go back to get it, simply continuing forward.
The path ahead was difficult to navigate. A Brocade Guard spotted him and came over to question him. Lu Hexu raised his hand and pulled out a token.
The Brocade Guard frowned and reached out to take the token from his hand to check its authenticity.
The guard brushed against Lu Hexu's fingertips. The next moment, the young man tilted his head.
The Brocade Guard finished his inspection; the token was real.
"Go on."
The slender, beautiful young eunuch stood there and slowly pulled the token back. "Patrol Camp?"
The Brocade Guard's expression tightened, and he immediately drew the embroidered spring blade from his waist.
But the young man's movements were even faster.
Lu Hexu suddenly grabbed him by the neck, and a crisp sound of bone breaking echoed in the darkness.
Lu Hexu stood there expressionless, looking at the man who had slumped to the ground. "Wei Heng is truly becoming more and more useless, letting so many flies slip in."
"Shadow One, clean this up."
The mountain spring water was quickly found.
Lu Hexu bent down to draw a bucketful, carrying it back with one hand.
If an ordinary person were to carry a heavy bucket full of water over such a long distance, they would have been panting with exhaustion long ago, but to Lu Hexu, it felt like nothing.
He was born with the ability to read people's minds.
His physical strength was also innate.
Perhaps what that State Preceptor said was true; he was a natural-born disaster.
The light inside the small tent had not gone out. Lu Hexu raised his hand to lift the flap. The woman was nestled in the blankets, her face completely hidden. All that could be seen was a long cascade of hair spilling over the edge of the bed. Sushan was crouching nearby, darting back and forth through it, occasionally batting at it with a paw.
Lu Hexu walked over, picked the cat up with one hand, and tossed it into the wardrobe. He then added some charcoal to the stove and began to boil water.
The flames flickered gently. Lu Hexu sat on the small stool, resting his chin in one hand. His gaze followed the slowly heating kettle before landing on the bed.
It was very quiet.
Not her, but him.
Lu Hexu rarely had moments when his mood was this peaceful.
Although this might have had something to do with the fact that he had just killed someone, there was no denying that this kind of tranquility was truly rare.
Most of the time, he was tormented by illness and pain.
He never denied that he was a madman.
Lu Hexu stared at the bedding for a while, walked over, and pulled it back. He saw the woman's sleeping face, her breathing even.
He covered her back up and then went back to his seat.
Sushan climbed out of the wardrobe, making the already messy clothes inside even messier.
Lu Hexu stood up and opened the wardrobe, and the clothes tumbled out along with the cat.
He bent down to pick up the clothes, then hung them back up one by one.
After he finished hanging the clothes, he glanced at the bed again, walked over, and pulled back the covers. Seeing Su Zhenzhen's soundly sleeping face, he covered her back up with peace of mind.
Still alive.
Su Zhenzhen broke out in a sweat; it must have been the medicinal liquid taking effect.
It was a prescription meant to induce sweating, after all.
Su Zhenzhen opened her eyes. Her body felt sticky and very uncomfortable.
She didn't know how long she had slept, but seeing the faint dark blue seeping through the tent flap, it must be almost dawn.
Mudan was still sitting on that small stool. Beside him, Sushan had already woken up and was playing with his belt.
The young man rested his chin in one hand, the firelight from the small stove casting a faint glow over him.
He dangled a belt with one hand, and Sushan swayed from side to side, adopting a hunting posture before suddenly pouncing to catch the belt.
The young man's movements were faster, however. He directly flicked the belt away, causing Sushan to pounce on empty air.
"Mew... meow..."
The kitten protested, pawing at the young man's leg.
Seemingly bored, the young man turned around, meeting Su Zhenzhen's open eyes.
"You're awake?"
"Mhm." She was still in a daze.
Illness made it hard to think.
"Did you stay up all night?" Su Zhenzhen murmured.
"Yes."
Lu Hexu stood up, pushed aside the cat attacking his calf, and walked over, reaching out to touch her forehead. "You're no longer burning up."
Su Zhenzhen blinked obediently.
She indeed felt much lighter.
So sticky.
She probably smelled bad right now.
Su Zhenzhen tried hard to shrink into the quilt. "I want to take a bath."
The young man lifted the tent flap and went out.
Not long after, two eunuchs came in carrying a bathtub.
The large, steaming bathtub took up a large chunk of space as soon as it was placed in the small tent.
Su Zhenzhen sat on the bed wrapped in the quilt, unmoving.
Lu Hexu said, "It's mountain spring water."
"There's mountain spring water here?"
Why did she remember there only being a river? And a river piled with corpses at that.
"On the mountain a bit further that way. Come take your bath." The young man tapped the bathtub.
Su Zhenzhen threw off the covers and got out of bed.
The cold wind seeping in from outside the small tent made her shiver.
Her body was soft and weak; she hadn't regained her strength yet.
Su Zhenzhen took two top-heavy steps, shuffling to the edge of the bathtub.
The bathtub was very high, and having just recovered from an illness, Su Zhenzhen was still very weak. She embarrassedly asked Mu Dan, "Could you help me find a small stool?"
The next moment, she felt her body lighten as the young man lifted her with one arm and lowered her into the bathtub.
As the warm water surged up, Su Zhenzhen panicked and clung to the young man's arm. "I haven't taken off my clothes yet."
Her autumn clothes were neither thick nor thin, but soaked in water, they clung tightly to her body.
Lu Hexu stood by the bathtub, meeting Su Zhenzhen's bewildered gaze.
The young man's hand brushed past the bathtub and caressed her face. "You sweat a lot."
"Yeah... I need to bathe. Do... do you want to step out first..."
Su Zhenzhen avoided the young man's gaze. She stepped against the tub, trying to sit up by herself, but her body was too weak.
The young man's fingertips roamed across her face, brushing aside her wet hair and her hot-water-soaked collar.
Thinking he hadn't heard her, Su Zhenzhen asked, "Could you go out and keep watch for me?"
[Why hasn't he gone out yet?]
Lu Hexu lowered his eyes, his gaze landing on the woman's flushed cheeks steamed by the heat, before trailing down along her soft hair.
Her wet, long hair gathered at her pale, smooth neck, an intertwining of extreme black and white.
Lu Hexu could not clearly hear what the woman was saying.
He simply stared at her lips, tinted a vibrant color by the steam.
Here, it was also very beautiful.
