Jiang Nuan’s hand was already on the doorknob, and she didn’t turn around.
“You can analyze anything.” The weariness was still there in his voice, but every word was unusually clear. “Except that you drew the wrong conclusion about me.”
Jiang Nuan’s fingers tightened around the knob.
“About what happened last time—you came to a conclusion.” He spoke from the direction of the sofa. He didn’t get up, yet the few meters between them seemed to disappear. “You concluded that I wanted your body.” His voice remained calm. “That conclusion itself wasn’t wrong.”
Jiang Nuan gripped the doorknob so tightly that her hand began to tremble with anger.
…Thank you for your honesty?
Lu Shiyan, did you have some fundamental misunderstanding of the word “comfort”?
“But your analysis left out one link.”
Behind her, the leather of the sofa gave a faint creak. He sat up straighter.
“You got the cause and effect backward, Jiang Nuan.”
She ground her back teeth together, then finally turned around and glared at Lu Shiyan on the sofa.
Lu Shiyan was leaning against the backrest, looking at her. His expression was tired but lucid. The afternoon light fell across half his face, making his brown eyes seem exceptionally bright. There was no attempt to evade her gaze.
“I didn’t keep you by my side because I wanted your body.”
He paused.
“It’s because I wanted to keep you by my side that I wanted everything that came with you.”
The room fell silent.
A gust of wind swept past the window, lifting the thick snow on the ground. It spun once in the air before landing softly against the glass.
Jiang Nuan stood by the door, her hand still resting on the doorknob, maintaining the posture of someone who could leave at any moment.
Had Lu Shiyan’s superpower drained him so completely that the fever had fried his brain today?
He wanted to keep her by his side?
What did that mean?
A thought flashed through Jiang Nuan’s mind, but she suppressed it almost instinctively.
Too absurd.
She accepted that Lu Shiyan had a possessive streak.
She accepted that he wanted her physically, too. They had done it so many times that even on the nights when she couldn’t get through a single complete plea for mercy, denying it would still require asking whether her aching waist agreed.
But if beneath all that was something more personal—an emotion that couldn’t be neatly categorized as a transaction or control…
Her scalp prickled.
Transactions had rules, and control had boundaries. Those two things made her uncomfortable, but at least they were things she could fight against.
She could get angry. She could resist. She could justifiably call him a bastard.
But if the true nature of those things was something else…
Even if that was what he meant, what exactly did his feelings amount to?
Locking the other person in a cage? Trapping her in a situation where she had no right to choose?
And yet…
Some details she had always classified as control—the care hidden beneath his possessiveness—were showing another side she had never really examined before.
…
Jiang Nuan suddenly felt irritated.
Because those details could no longer be tossed cleanly into the “control freak” box and be done with it.
He had pried open the corner of that box by the tiniest crack.
But it was enough to leave her feeling stifled.
Even if what lay inside that crack really was…
This kind of feeling was too suffocating.
The hand Jiang Nuan had wrapped around the doorknob did not loosen, but neither did she turn it.
She simply stood there, her expression probably a fascinating sight.
“You’re silent,” Lu Shiyan said calmly, watching her. “You’re thinking about how to refute me.”
“…Lu Shiyan.” She lifted her eyes and met his gaze directly. “Do you really think changing the way you phrase it changes what it is?”
“It isn’t a change in phrasing.” He shook his head. “You’ve been analyzing the chain of cause and effect incorrectly from the very beginning.”
“But does the outcome change?” Jiang Nuan asked. “No matter why you did it, your actions haven’t changed. You made the rules, and I had no choice. That hasn’t changed either. Do you think telling me your reason means I’m supposed to…”
Supposed to accept this cage peacefully?
“Supposed to what?” Lu Shiyan picked up the half of the sentence she had left unfinished. “Forgive me? Be moved?”
He tilted his head slightly, and there was even a trace of self-mockery in his eyes.
“When have you ever seen me do something that required anyone else’s cooperation?”
Jiang Nuan clenched her back teeth.
“I’m telling you this because from beginning to end, you’ve been analyzing me as nothing more than someone who wants control.” His gaze fell to the hand she had clenched around the doorknob, and his voice softened slightly. “You’re using the wrong model to analyze my behavior. Sooner or later, variables you can’t explain will appear. You might as well correct it now.”
“The old conclusion was fine.” Jiang Nuan shifted her gaze toward the snow-bright window. “At least I knew exactly where I stood.”
She lowered her lashes.
“Now you insist on putting something else in there…” Where am I supposed to put it?
Lu Shiyan looked at her for a long time.
“You don’t need to put it anywhere right now.” His voice was unexpectedly gentle. “Just analyze it again in the way you’re best at.”
The snowlight reflected in his calm, steady eyes.
“This time, try not to assume the conclusion first.”
