Chapter Forty-Eight
Heat scorched Cui Lanyin from her face all the way down to her feet. The burning sensation against her chest was especially unbearable, and she wanted nothing more than to bury herself. How could she have been so careless?
She did not dare move away at once. That would seem too abrupt, and something that had been entirely unintentional might become impossible to explain. How would she naturally get along with Prince Wei after that?
Holding her breath, Cui Lanyin slowly edged herself away. Only then did she dare raise her head to study Prince Wei’s expression. To her surprise, he lifted a finger and flicked her hand.
“Why did you stop?”
He had used some force, and the back of Cui Lanyin’s hand stung. It reminded her of the chess piece he had flicked at her when she was punished by being made to face the wall. The taut string inside her suddenly relaxed.
Prince Wei probably had not noticed what had happened just now. It made sense—someone whose mind was constantly churning with thoughts would hardly notice every minor detail happening around him.
Cui Lanyin gradually composed herself. The lingering numbness in the back of her hand reminded her of her bargaining chip, and she said, “Uncle, I’ve been massaging you for quite a while. Even if I haven’t earned merit, I’ve at least put in the effort, haven’t I? Doesn’t that cancel out the punishment you mentioned this morning?”
“I forgot. You’ll face the wall tomorrow morning.”
“What?” Cui Lanyin wailed, then immediately realized something was wrong. “Uncle, how could you forget?”
Prince Wei flicked two fingers lightly. Cui Lanyin understood that this meant she could speak again after keeping quiet, and she secretly smiled as she pressed her lips together.
She massaged and kneaded for another quarter of an hour. When she looked again, Prince Wei’s eyes had already closed, and his breathing had become long and even. He had fallen asleep sitting there.
Cui Lanyin took the bolster and laid it flat, then helped Prince Wei lie down. The light from the glass palace lantern decorated with flowers and birds beside the couch fell across his face, making his skin look even fairer than jade. His thick brows were as dark as ink, his long lashes fanned out like feathers, and his nose was straight without being too sharp. His lips were neither too thin nor too full. He was truly handsome. She had not been exaggerating before—even adding or taking away the slightest thing would diminish his beauty.
Especially now, while he slept, the emptiness and listlessness that usually lingered in his eyes had vanished, making him seem much more approachable. Cui Lanyin gazed at this more approachable version of her uncle for quite some time. It was only when Buyan brought over a thin brocade quilt that she came back to herself. She accepted it and covered Prince Wei.
Emperor Xuanning was ill, so all the Dragon Boat Festival arrangements in the palace had been canceled. Every household had reduced its banquets and visits as well, and no viewing platforms had been erected along the Wuyang River for the dragon boat races.
Without the high officials and nobles joining in the festivities, this year’s Dragon Boat Festival was far more subdued than usual.
The Yao family sent two cases of ivory folding fans made by a renowned Suzhou craftsman, along with six boxes of zongzi in various flavors, to Prince Wei’s residence. After discussing it with the chief steward, Cui Lanyin sent back gifts of equivalent value.
After the Yao family received Prince Wei’s tacit approval at the cherry-blossom viewing at Tianfu Temple, they had stopped bringing up the marriage. Still, the several Yao young ladies continued to keep in touch with her. Whenever they received something interesting, they would send her a share, leaving her no choice but to find things to send in return.
Perhaps because she had been out and about more often, Cui Lanyin had grown rather impatient with these social exchanges between women. When she thought of having to deal with them every day after marriage, she became even less eager to marry.
Cui Su had been granted leave for the Dragon Boat Festival. He sent word to Cui Lanyin through a Guard of the Qilin Guard and arranged to return home with her on the festival day.
On the third day of the fifth month, after taking care of the matters at hand, Cui Lanyin rode home in a carriage.
Cui Sheng had to report for duty at the Ministry of Works, and Cui Jian had to go to the academy. Although Hong Ji was at home, he was studying diligently in the study in the southern courtyard. In the rear courtyard, only Lady Jiang and Cui Lanzhi remained.
Without asking anyone to announce her arrival, Cui Lanyin slipped quietly inside. Lady Jiang and Cui Lanzhi were sighing heavily as they talked, so absorbed that they did not notice her until she spoke.
“What’s wrong?”
Only then did Lady Jiang and Cui Lanzhi realize she had arrived. They must have been deeply engrossed in their conversation.
Cui Lanzhi’s lower belly had begun to show. She pulled Cui Lanyin down beside her and said, “Mother and I were just talking about your sister-in-law.”
“Lady Dong?” Cui Lanyin asked in puzzlement. “What happened to her?”
“After returning to her family home that day, she stayed there. But this morning, she came back accompanied by her elder brother and sister-in-law, saying that she wanted to divorce Cui Chang. The whole household is in an uproar.”
After Cui Chang had treated Cui Su as he did, all four Cui siblings had tacitly refused to call him Eldest Cousin anymore and had begun addressing him by name. They still treated Lady Dong with the same respect as before.
Lady Dong had a gentle temperament and always spoke softly. She was sincere toward others as well. Even when there had still been some friction between the two branches when she married into the family, whenever Cui Su and Cui Jian visited that side of the household, she treated them just like Cui Fu and the others.
Therefore, Lady Jiang and Cui Lanzhi were both very reluctant to see Lady Dong seek a divorce. They did not want everyone to stop being relatives. If not for what Cui Chang had done, Lady Chang would have already summoned the two of them to persuade Lady Dong to stay.
Cui Lanyin, however, did not think that way. “It’s precisely because Eldest Sister-in-law is such a good person that we should support her divorce. Cui Chang is completely unworthy of her. Since they have no children yet, divorcing now is the best outcome.”
Hearing her casually speak of divorce as a good thing, Lady Jiang felt her heart tighten. Even though she rarely went out, she knew that whenever Cui Sheng and Cui Jian returned from outside, they did not tell her everything. Still, she had heard enough to know that in the mouths of the people of Yingcheng, her second daughter had practically become a little tyrant.
With Empress Dowager Chen and Prince Wei indulging her this much, Lady Jiang was deeply worried that Cui Lanyin would refuse to settle down and live an ordinary married life even after getting married. Naturally, she could not bear to hear her speak so lightly of “divorce.”
She was just about to have a serious heart-to-heart with her when Cui Lanting came running over from the second branch. The moment she saw Cui Lanyin, she began complaining.
“I was foolish to think you liked me. Every time you come back, you never look for me—I have to come running over myself.”
Cui Lanyin said irritably, “Aunt is already upset. How could I call you over?”
“Ugh, I just didn’t want to see my mother trying to force someone to stay.” Cui Lanting found a chair and sat down. “My sister-in-law’s family also lives together in two branches, and they’re unusually harmonious and united. The cousins all get along like siblings born of the same parents. My elder brother abandoned his own brothers at such a critical moment, and she despises him for it from the bottom of her heart. Even if she reluctantly stayed, the two of them would only become a resentful couple. It’s better to let her leave.”
Because something like that had happened in the second branch, Cui Lanyin did not go over there. She stayed with Cui Lanting, and the four of them had lunch together.
“Cousin Lanyin, have you decided on the Fifth Young Master Yao or the Sixth Young Master Yao?” Cui Lanting asked.
Lady Jiang and Cui Lanzhi both turned to look at her. They had been longing to ask the same question.
After the cherry-blossom viewing that day, Cui Lanyin had developed a headache. Then Cui Fu and Cui Ran had had to take the prefectural examinations, while Cui Chang was preparing to leave. Lady Chang had kept summoning Lady Jiang and Cui Lanzhi to the second branch to help, while Cui Lanyin had been busy with matters of her own. She had returned home only briefly before leaving again, and it had been difficult to ask her about the matter in front of so many people. Thus, the question had been delayed until now.
Cui Lanyin said lightly, “After the cherry-blossom viewing that day, I felt that the Yao family and I weren’t a good match. I went back and asked Uncle to turn them down.”
“Cousin Lanyin, that’s the Yao family we’re talking about—the family most revered by scholars throughout Dayong. If you married into the Yao family, your descendants would never again have to worry about finding teachers or pursuing their studies. The Fifth Young Master Yao and the Sixth Young Master Yao are both talented and handsome. How could you possibly have made that decision?”
Lady Jiang and Cui Lanzhi did not nod in agreement, but their eyes revealed that they felt exactly the same way.
Cui Lanyin had known they would react like this. That was why she had kept putting off telling them. But now, there was no escaping the question.
Only at this moment did she realize that she could speak freely about many thoughts in her heart with Prince Wei, yet she could not bring herself to discuss them openly with her family.
“The Yao family has too many branches. If I married into it, I definitely wouldn’t be comfortable.”
Cui Lanzhi tucked the stray strands of hair back behind her ear and said earnestly, "A woman only gets to live a carefree life while she's still in her birth family. Once she marries, she has to abide by the rules in front of her parents-in-law, wait on her husband, get along well with her brothers' wives and her husband's sisters, raise children, and manage household affairs. She'd split every hour into several pieces if she could, and even a moment of leisure in a day is something many other women can only dream of. You have no idea, just thinking about going back to that life later makes me dread it. But that's the fate of all women in this world, so I'll just have to go with the flow."
Lady Jiang also chimed in, "That's the truth. Your grandmother is as kind as they come, isn't she? But even I walked on eggshells for years after marrying into this family. I cried so many tears back then because I didn't know how to run the household, and on top of that, your father was a posthumous child. I had two daughters in a row, and even though your grandmother never said a word against me, I didn't even dare breathe too loudly in those years."
"That's why I want to marry later, to enjoy a few more years of the good life I have now."
"But if you wait too long, you'll become an old maid and it'll be even harder to find a good husband."
"I've thought it all through. With Empress Dowager Chen and my uncle here to back me up, I'll find a husband who lives to cater to my every wish, where I call all the shots in the household. That's the kind of life that's truly free."
Cui Lanting followed that line of thought and added, "Sister Yin, that's a great idea of yours, but we have to add one more condition. He has to be as handsome as the sons of the Yao family. Then that would be a perfect life no one else could match."
Cui Lanyin huffed quietly to herself. With Prince Wei as her standard, the sons of the Yao family were nothing special in the looks department.
"Both of you, stop that right now. If words like that get out, neither of you will ever be allowed to leave the family home," Lady Jiang and Cui Lanzhi quickly cut them off before they could say any more.
Cui Lanting nudged Cui Lanyin with her elbow, and the two of them exchanged glances and snickered.
They had lunch together, then the three of them took a siesta in Cui Lanyin's room at the back of the house. After waking up, they had some tea and snacks, and made a plan to meet again on the Dragon Boat Festival. Then Cui Lanyin headed back to Prince Wei's residence.
When the hour of the late afternoon came, Prince Wei would be back from attending to the emperor's illness at the palace in less than an hour. Ever since he came back from the Funing Palace, the two of them had been having dinner together every day to save the trouble of running back and forth. So Cui Lanyin didn't go back to her Anning Hall, and went straight to Prince Wei's study instead.
Buyan was not in the study. Since Buyan was still not familiar with all the different areas of the palace, Empress Dowager Chen had assigned Qi An's young apprentice Gufeng to Prince Wei. That way, whenever Prince Wei went to the palace, Gufeng would follow him, and Buyan would stay behind in the residence.
At first, Buyan had been very uneasy, afraid that he would be replaced by Gufeng. He even went to Cui Lanyin to ask if he could serve her together with Buyu later on.
Cui Lanyin told Buyan not to worry at all. Prince Wei was different from other people, and not just anyone could master those finger gesture signals. Just figuring out what each gesture meant in different contexts was enough to stump most people, so no one could ever take his place.
Once Buyan was relieved, he served Cui Lanyin even more thoughtfully when she came to the study, treating her like the other master of the place.
Cui Lanyin had barely sat down in the study for a moment when Chilin came to find her. "Second Miss, Princess Kang went to her country estate today, but her horse spooked on the way. The horse galloped all the way and dragged the carriage into the Yangwu Outer River. By the time they fished everyone out, the mother and her two sons had already lost their lives. Only the princess born to her was left behind, because she felt unwell when they were leaving the house this morning, and Prince Kang told her not to go."
All the color drained from Cui Lanyin's face. She used every ounce of her strength to stop herself from shaking all over. "Princess Kang and both of her sons are dead?"
Chilin nodded. "The Xin family doesn't dare to direct their anger at Prince Kang, for fear of triggering his wrath. You must make sure Chiyun and Chiyue never leave your side when you go out, Second Miss."
"It's Prince Kang, isn't it?" Cui Lanyin said with certainty. Princess Kang's death was by no means an accident. That spooked horse was completely man-made. Prince Kang had killed his own wife and sons, leaving only his daughter who posed no threat to his plans.
Chilin nodded firmly. "His Majesty is ill, and Prince Kang is in a hurry to show his stance to the Li family."
After Chilin finished telling her the news and took his leave, Cui Lanyin just nodded blankly, not able to react in any other way.
As soon as Chilin was gone, Cui Lanyin could no longer hold herself back. She curled up on the Lu'an couch, her body trembling nonstop.
She felt cold seeping in from every direction, even the gaps in her bones were stinging with icy chill. Her hands and feet felt frozen stiff, and she couldn't even reach for the warm tea on the side table to warm herself up.
Buyan and Buyu noticed that something was very wrong, and hurried over to ask, "Second Miss, what's the matter? Is your headache coming on again?"
Cui Lanyin buried her head in her knees. "Leave me alone. I just need to think for a while."
The regicide and infanticide Empress Dowager Chen had mentioned had actually happened right in front of her eyes. Three living people, his wife he shared his bed with, his sons he doted on, just for the sake of that throne, Prince Kang had wiped them out without a second thought, and in such a cruel, tragic way.
Cui Lanyin couldn't help but wonder, if she hadn't gone to the Xin family to confront them, would Princess Kang and her two sons still be alive?
The thought of that possibility made her feel she couldn't shirk the responsibility. She couldn't just act like nothing had happened. When she closed her eyes, the image of Princess Kang from that day kept appearing in her mind.
Tears blurred her sight before she knew it. She sobbed quietly and restrainedly, feeling the weight of those three lives on her chest, as if she would never be able to live a peaceful life again.
"What's wrong?" It was Prince Wei's voice.
She looked at the hand he held out to her, her eyes red and teary, and threw herself into his arms. "Uncle, what do I do... Waa... I caused these deaths... Waa... I'll never be alright again..."
