She really wanted to ask him, what exactly did he mean by that murmured phrase "let bygones be bygones"? Could it be that he felt the same way as she did?
"Eldest Miss Cui, is there anything else you wish to say?" Shen Xiabai’s voice was cold and detached.
Cui Yunchu replied, "Lord Shen seems to be recovering quite well from your injuries."
"..."
Shen Xiabai fixed his gaze on her, saying nothing.
Yu Feng, standing nearby, covered his eyes, unable to bear watching any longer.
His master was only human, not a god. Even a scratch on the hand would take three to five days to heal, let alone seventy lashes that had damaged bones and sinews.
Shen Xiabai's voice slowly broke the silence. "The injuries haven't healed."
"..." Cui Yunchu was stunned for a few moments.
So that meant he had endured the pain to come and stop Dowager Shen.
A smile flickered on her lips as she nodded, brushing aside the faint ache in her heart.
The atmosphere grew heavy. After a moment, Shen Xiabai turned and left the teahouse without a word.
Even his retreating figure seemed to carry a sense of distance and indifference.
Only then did Cui Yunchu dare to lift her eyes and look in the direction he had gone. Her gaze was low, as if she wanted to watch but feared being caught.
Dowager Shen had not left early; instead, she waited in the carriage. As soon as Shen Xiabai left the teahouse, he leaned on Yu Feng for support.
"Master, the injury to your lower back is severe. The doctor said you must rest well, or it could become a chronic ailment," Yu Feng said, filled with worry.
In truth, he could have handled this matter himself. But his master insisted on coming. If it was for Eldest Miss Cui’s sake, they had barely exchanged a few words, and he only spoke harshly.
Yu Feng frowned. "Master endured the pain to come all this way, yet you wouldn’t say a single kind word to Eldest Miss Cui. What was the point?"
With words like those, telling her not to take it to heart, it only pushed her further away.
He wondered what use this trip really was.
Shen Xiabai shot Yu Feng a cold, heavy glance, and the latter immediately fell silent.
As Yu Feng helped him into the carriage, Dowager Shen also spoke up. "What are you glaring at? Yu Feng didn’t say anything wrong."
After all, he was her own son, and Dowager Shen couldn’t help but feel distressed. She laid down thick cushions to help Shen Xiabai sit comfortably.
"Mother," Shen Xiabai said calmly, "I’ve told you before—I have my own plans regarding Miss Cui’s matter. Why did you go to her without my consent?"
"What plans do you have?" Dowager Shen replied displeased. "Your plan is to give up the one you love, suffer alone, and even call out her name in your dreams."
Shen Xiabai’s expression darkened, but he did not argue.
"Xiabai, your mother doesn’t want you to ruin your lifelong happiness because of past events. Don’t torment Miss Cui because of your father and brother’s deaths, and don’t betray your own heart. I don’t want you to regret it later," Dowager Shen advised earnestly, her voice trembling with emotion.
Shen Xiabai looked up at Dowager Shen, and after a long pause, he spoke softly. "Mother, there’s a question I’ve always wanted to ask you. Even though you and Father were not close, you were still husband and wife. Did you never... hate the Cui family?"
Dowager Shen’s fingers trembled as she held Shen Xiabai’s hand, her face paling slightly. "Hate only makes one hideous and traps one in the pain of the past. The victor is king, and the loser is the outlaw. Those who live must look forward."
"Xiabai, do you like Miss Cui? Do you love her?"
Shen Xiabai lowered his gaze, offering no answer.
Dowager Shen continued, "Ask yourself honestly—in your heart, what is more important? A person who has been dead for over ten years, or the living, breathing person standing before you? If you lose her because of this, will you regret it?"
Silence lingered in the carriage. After a long while, Shen Xiabai finally spoke in a low voice. "Mother is mistaken."
"I stopped blaming her for Father and Brother’s deaths long ago. Nor am I trapped in the past."
It was she who had never been moved. Never. She had never wanted a future with him.
Dowager Shen was taken aback. "Do you mean... Miss Cui doesn’t like you? So it’s one-sided love?"
"..." Shen Xiabai turned his head toward the carriage window, remaining silent.
Dowager Shen sighed. So it was an unrequited love.
She clicked her tongue a few times, looking troubled.
"How can this be?" Dowager Shen frowned deeply, staring at her son. "Is it something you did wrong? Why doesn’t she like you?"
Shen Xiabai looked down. "Our past interactions were not exactly pleasant."
Perhaps it was his past prejudices, his sarcasm, his hostility toward the Cui family, and how he abandoned her at the cliff’s edge without a shred of compassion.
Everyone called her foolish, but in truth, they were the real fools.
A bitter, mocking smile curled at the corner of Shen Xiabai’s lips.
That night in the torture chamber, when she leaped into the lake holding him, she must have sensed his feelings. At that moment, she must already have been plotting her revenge.
She had said she was petty and held grudges...
Indeed, she had never let go of anyone who had wronged her.
Gu Xuan died deservedly. As for him...
Maybe he wasn’t so innocent either.
Dowager Shen sighed. "I’ve said it many times—men with clumsy tongues don’t win girls over. You must have said things that were hard to hear instead of sweet words, and that’s why she doesn’t like you. What a waste of a handsome face."
"..."
Dowager Shen knew her son’s temperament well—he could easily say infuriating things but never a kind word.
"Back then in the imperial garden, I said you liked her, but you refused to admit it. You were stubborn, and now you’re paying the price."
Shen Xiabai remained silent.
At that time, he couldn’t even define his feelings for her. But no doubt, he was conflicted and confused.
How could he easily admit that he had fallen for the daughter of his family’s enemy?
"How will you get her to accept you given this cold disposition?"
Shen Xiabai said nothing.
Dowager Shen pressed on, "Just tell me honestly—do you like her or not? What difficulty is there?"
Muteness: total refusal to utter a single word.
"You say one word, and say it clearly. Otherwise, my brain will explode just from watching you, anxious to death."
Still, silence. Shen Xiabai kept his mouth shut, which infuriated Dowager Shen.
"Would it kill you to say 'I like her'? Is this how you treat that girl?"
No wonder she couldn’t stand him.
"Old Madam," Yu Feng’s voice came from outside, "Master has already tacitly agreed."
"What good is tacit agreement?"
Such matters require courage and initiative. If a man doesn’t speak up, how can a girl come to like him?
In matters of love, a silent admission is often taken as denial.
Dowager Shen nudged Shen Xiabai’s arm. "Will you just say it?"
"Mother, please don’t go to her on your own anymore," Shen Xiabai said quietly. "For her, what you did today was nothing but an intrusion."
"..."
Dowager Shen was so angry she gave Shen Xiabai several sharp stares.
When the carriage stopped at the Shen residence, the usually gentle and good-natured Dowager Shen was so upset she yanked open the curtain and marched into the courtyard with heavy steps.
Before leaving, she frowned and instructed Yu Feng, "From now on, especially when around Eldest Miss Cui, watch what you say."
Yu Feng: ???
What did he say?
Dowager Shen looked at him with disappointment. "In the future, don’t mention outside that your master injured his lower back, let alone that it might turn into a chronic condition."
The lower back—such an important area.
Yu Feng’s face reddened, and he stammered an "mm-hmm."
Even Shen Xiabai in the carriage furrowed his brow uncomfortably.
Since when did his mother become so...
