Actually, when you think about it carefully, there were signs of everything long ago.
For example, Miss Xie was supposed to be a stranger to him. After sleeping for a whole year, the first thing she did when she woke up was to go to the Ghost Tomb and search for his trace everywhere.
When she bent down and stretched out her right hand, slowly placing it on his blood - stained body, Pei Du was so nervous that he didn't dare to breathe. His heart was pounding so hard that it almost burst out of his chest.
Another example is that in Yunjing City, he was trapped by nightmares and found himself in a hell full of killings.
In the dream, Miss Xie smiled ambiguously and bit the back of his neck. Although she claimed that she wasn't in the dream at that time, she accidentally let it slip later and actively mentioned "the person who bit the neck".
Now thinking about it, she must have been coerced and did that thing against her will. Because she didn't want to have too much to do with him, she simply lied and pretended not to know anything.
Besides, during the time she was with him, which of Miss Xie's actions were real and which were fake? In Miss Xie's heart... what exactly was he to her?
Pei Du didn't dare to think further.
In the endless darkness, he had chased after that ray of light he yearned for with all his might for ten years. Finally, when he managed to catch it, he stared at it only to find that it had already slipped away secretly and hadn't even stayed in his palm for a moment.
From beginning to end, it was all his own wishful thinking.
How ridiculous.
A voice said that he should feel hatred.
But Pei Du didn't have the slightest such thought in his heart. All the gaps in his heart were filled with only a muddled sense of dullness and astringency, as well as a sharp and piercing pain like a blade cutting through.
He originally... didn't have the qualification to get that person's pity.
At that time, he had lost all his cultivation and was infamous. Because of his full - body wounds, it was even difficult for him to get up and move. Bringing him along, Miss Xie was like running into a big trouble.
Maybe in the end, he should even be grateful to that unknown compulsory force. If it weren't for it, he would surely have died in a remote corner of the Ghost Tomb long ago. And he wouldn't have been able to see Miss Xie before he died.
This period of time was like a treasure he had secretly stolen.
But at the moment when he understood the truth, Pei Du still couldn't help feeling sad - he originally thought that Miss Xie really liked him a little.
Would she abandon him after the mission was over?
"She has never cared about you."
That unknown voice still whispered in his ear: "The reason she saved you, accompanied you, treated your wounds, and even those later intimacies were all just under the compulsion of some force - you've always felt strange, but you just never thought deeply about it, right?"
The black gas surrounding him was getting thicker and thicker.
This force had an inexplicable familiarity, as if it had an intimate connection with Pei Du since birth. Seeing him silent, the black gas let out a more wanton laugh, enveloped the young man's head, and gradually seeped in.
It wanted to enter his spiritual sea.
In the unbearable pain, Pei Du barely stabilized his spiritual consciousness to prevent the black gas from invading layer by layer.
He wasn't stupid. He could see that this force had ill intentions. It was probably trying to invade his spiritual sea by disturbing his mind. Once successful, it could take control of this body.
He wouldn't fall for it.
Pei Du's voice was hoarse: "Who are you?"
"Me? I'm a person who knows all her secrets."
The voice of the black gas was vague, and it was hard to tell whether it was male or female. Seeing that Pei Du was trying to stop its invasion, it became a bit impatient.
"You don't want me to come in?"
It said mockingly: "Look at you, how pitiful. Being played with in her palm, and still naively thinking that you've got true feelings... I can help you. I know a lot of things. As long as you let me in, I guarantee that I can make Xie Jingci fall head - over - heels for you."
Pei Du gritted his teeth, silently recited the sword formula, and tried to repel it.
In the Guiyuan Immortal Mansion, he and Mo Xiaoyang had both advanced to the Nascent Soul stage. From the moment the black gas first appeared, Pei Du had subconsciously tried to drive it away. However, like a beam of light, the sword intent was blocked by it when passing through the mist.
The strength of this black gas far exceeded that of the Nascent Soul stage.
Pei Du couldn't figure out its identity.
"Now, you definitely can't beat me."
The black gas blocked again and sneered coldly: "It's as easy for me to kill you as to crush an ant. However - "
It suddenly stopped here and didn't make any more sound.
The candle in the guest room was flickering unsteadily. Pei Du leaned on the wooden table with his body bent. His fingers had distinct knuckles, and they all turned bloodless white because he was using too much force.
The air around should have been stagnant, but in the closed room, the candlelight was blown by the wind.
He heard the creaking sound when the wooden door opened.
Pei Du looked up and saw Xie Jingci in a panic.
... Miss Xie.
She rushed forward, her eyes falling on his pale side face, and frowned tightly: "What's going on?"
Her tone was urgent and didn't seem fake.
If it were before, Pei Du would have approached her without hesitation. But at this moment, a bit of sourness and confusion suddenly welled up in his heart.
The words of that voice seemed to still be echoing in his ear: "What if everything is fake?"
Since he saw Miss Xie, all the severe pain in his body had disappeared.
He couldn't say anything about that black gas. As long as he had the slightest thought about it, his spiritual sea would feel like it was being torn in half, and he couldn't utter a single word.
The after - wave of pain washed over every corner of his body. Pei Du straightened his back hard, trying to stand up straight. When he opened his mouth, he found that his voice was extremely hoarse: "It's okay. Miss Xie, don't worry."
Xie Jingci opened her eyes wide: "There's clearly something wrong! Look, you're sweating so much!"
She found the wooden box buried by Pei Du under the peach tree. Thinking it was interesting, she came to ask him about the past. Unexpectedly, although there was light in Pei Du's room, no one answered no matter how hard she knocked on the door.
He had mentioned before that he was not feeling well.
Xie Jingci was in a panic and didn't think much before breaking into the room. As soon as she pushed the door open, she saw him trembling all over.
How could this not worry her.
"It's just an old injury recurring. It doesn't hurt anymore."
Pei Du tried his best to get up and looked into her eyes. His eyes darkened slightly.
As he spoke, he stretched out his hand, gathered his spiritual power in his palm, and gently covered Xie Jingci's forehead hair wet with water vapor: "It's damp on this spring night. Miss Xie, don't catch a cold."
"Are you crazy?"
The black gas had already hidden its whereabouts. Its figure couldn't be seen, only its voice reached his ear: "She treats you as a tool, and you don't have much strength left in your body - yet you're going to waste your spiritual power just to dry her off? What are you thinking?"
"It's just a little water. It doesn't matter."
Xie Jingci pressed down his right hand and wiped the cold sweat off Pei Du's forehead with a handkerchief: "When did this old injury happen? Where is it? When we get back to Yunjing tomorrow, we'll find a doctor to treat your wounds properly."
As she said this, she became serious and stared straight into his eyes: "Does it really not hurt anymore? You're not lying to me, are you?"
Miss Xie could always make a smile appear in his eyes easily.
Pei Du half-lowered his eyes and softly replied to her, "Yes. Miss Xie, what brings you here?"
The black qi hissed maliciously, "Maybe she has a new mission."
Pei Du ignored it.
"I --"
Before pushing open the door, Xie Jingci was full of confidence and had thought up countless ways to start the conversation. But now that she was really facing Pei Du, she felt a bit shy.
In that box, his admiration for her was pure and intense. When she read it, her face flushed and her heart raced. If she were to lay it all out openly and without reservation...
Pei Du would surely be shy.
Once he blushed, Xie Jingci would definitely be at a loss as well.
But some things had to be clarified.
Previously, she knew nothing. It was excusable that she paid little attention to Pei Du and they were like strangers. Now that she knew his feelings, Xie Jingci thought she must respond to them.
In those long years, that lonely boy must have been looking forward to a response.
Xie Jingci touched her nose and said, "I want to talk to you about the past."
Pei Du was slightly stunned.
"Because I want to know you better," she thought to herself, trying to hide her nervousness and feigning calm. She pressed Pei Du onto the wooden chair in front of the table and then sat down beside him. "When you were in the Pei Mansion, was there any place you especially liked?"
Pei Du answered without hesitation, "The Sword Pavilion."
After saying that, he felt a bit embarrassed and added in a hoarse voice, "At that time... I was only focused on practicing swords."
Miss Xie might think he was very boring.
"I know. You've always been very dedicated to practicing swords, just like at the academy."
Xie Jingci propped her chin with her hand and then her eyes shifted. "Speaking of the academy, I remembered a very interesting thing -- Do you still remember that bulletin board?"
The bulletin board.
The moment he heard these three words, Pei Du's body froze imperceptibly, and then he nodded.
"On the bulletin board, everyone could post anonymously and speak freely. So there were often arguments on it. I was a bit arrogant at that time and didn't talk to many people. When you passed by the bulletin board, you might have occasionally seen some bad things said about me, right?"
She watched Pei Du's reaction imperceptibly. Seeing his momentary stiffness, she curled her lips and then continued, "But it was very strange that on every page where someone was scolding me, there would always be someone speaking up for me. I thought about it for a long time and never could figure out who he was."
A faint blush rose on Pei Du's ears. He lowered his head to avoid Xie Jingci's direct gaze and said, "Well... he's a good person."
"Right! He's super nice!"
Xie Jingci couldn't stop smiling and emphasized, "I really want to know his identity and thank him in person. Although what he wrote was very cheesy, I was happy for a whole day when I read his words."
Pei Du pinched the corner of his sleeve, and his ears turned even redder.
He wanted to tell Miss Xie that that person was him.
But he couldn't.
The words he had posted on the bulletin board were extremely cheesy, written out of pure passion. Although every word came from the bottom of his heart, just thinking about the content made Pei Du's mind go blank with embarrassment.
Back then, he was so angry at those people's nonsense that he stayed up all night writing countless exaggerated praises for Miss Xie.
He couldn't bear to throw away some of the drafts, but reading them made him blush. So he buried them under the biggest peach tree in the Pei Mansion.
Thankfully, Miss Xie would never know.
And thankfully, his words could make her happy.
"Even now, I still remember what that person wrote. Someone said I looked fierce. Guess how he replied?"
Miss Xie pursed her lips and smiled, then turned her face to look at him. " 'Miss Xie's gentle eyebrows are like autumn waters, and her fair skin is accompanied by a gentle breeze. She is like a flower in the mirror and a shadow under the moon, beyond your reach.' -- You tell me, isn't that an over - the - top compliment? When Meng Xiaoting saw it, she almost thought I had hired a ghostwriter at a high price and asked me to ask for a refund."
Pei Du: ...
Pei Du buried his head even lower and replied in a muffled voice, " ... His praise is not excessive."
Xie Jingci almost burst out laughing.
"Also, someone said I had a bad temper, and he also wrote a whole long passage in reply."
She coughed lightly. " 'Miss Xie has a noble character and a pure and elegant appearance. When we see her and think of her, we can't forget her. We only wish --' "
Before she could finish reading this passage, Pei Du suddenly interrupted her, "Miss Xie."
His voice was very low. "Do you... already know?"
There was no reason for her to suddenly come to talk to him about a completely unrelated stranger in the middle of the night.
The reason Miss Xie deliberately read out those words was to lead him to admit it himself.
Pei Du knew her too well.
"Sorry," Miss Xie's voice came softly, accompanied by the soft sound of wooden objects colliding. "I passed by the peach tree and accidentally found this box. Since I didn't know what was inside, I opened it and took a look."
The box was pushed in front of him.
Pei Du's mind exploded.
He had written so many words about Miss Xie that he didn't quite remember the content in this box. After a moment of silence, the young man's slender fingers slowly touched the wooden box.
God bless.
He just hoped there wouldn't be any too straightforward words inside.
The wooden box was wiped spotless, and the papers inside were also neatly arranged.
His eyes were heavy, and he hesitantly looked at the first one.
[Miss Xie is peerless and the number one swordswoman in the world.]
He was mortified.
Since they were drafts, he had written them freely and without restraint. Pei Du was in a complete mess. Without finishing reading, he quickly flipped it over to the second one below.
Pei Du's fingertips were trembling.
He remembered that someone had been defeated by Miss Xie in a martial arts competition and was so angry that they said she was too ruthless and didn't know her own strength.
He thought this person was being unreasonable and wrote a few big lines: [If I could have a match with Miss Xie, even if I were beaten to the doctor's hall, I should be satisfied.]
Of course, such words couldn't be posted on the bulletin board.
... How could she see them with her own eyes.
Further down, someone said she was aloof and didn't have many friends.
He wrote angrily, [Miss Xie has me to admire her. She doesn't need the idle people to care.]
Pei Du's face was so red that it seemed to drip blood. He continued to look down.
This one was even more excessive.
It was a small portrait of Miss Xie that he had drawn in the middle of the night when he thought of her.
He had never learned how to draw. The eyes in the portrait were like copper bells, the chin was so sharp that it could pierce someone, and the lips were like a half - open wild chrysanthemum.
"Miss Xie," Pei Du no longer had the courage to continue looking. " ... I'm sorry."
"What are you apologizing for?"
Miss Xie's tone was very soft, and it was hard to tell her emotions. Suddenly, she changed the topic. "When I left Qionghua Academy, did you climb to the top of the mountain and leave me sixty - six wishes?"
A look of surprise appeared in Pei Du's eyes. He looked up at her in confusion.
He had indeed done that, but Miss Xie shouldn't have known.
Moreover, something had happened that day...
"Meng Xiaoting and I passed by the back mountain and saw some of them," Xie Jingci's voice was soft, but for some reason, her heart tightened.
She was a bit nervous, hesitating about the answer to this question, and asked him carefully, "But they don't seem to have been buried on the mountain."
The wishes he had carefully prepared and held with utmost devotion scattered everywhere, drifting into the unknown corners of the mountains and forests, like discarded trash.
She didn't think Pei Du would throw them down the mountain.
"On my way up the mountain," he moved his fingertips slightly, "I met Pei Yu."
Pei Yu was much older than him and had long since left the academy. He appeared that day because he was invited by the academy to share his experience with the newly enrolled young disciples.
There were a group of friends around that person. Seeing him carrying a box up the mountain, they wanted to play a prank on him and quietly followed behind Pei Du.
They also knew the rumor about the wishes. They surrounded him and tried to snatch the wooden box to find out what was inside.
Then there was a chaotic fight. Sword qi, talismans, and fists rained down all at once. The wooden box slipped out of his hand and fell off the cliff.
Along with it went all his hopes and wishes.
At that time, they were of the same age, in the same academy, not far apart, yet separated by an insurmountable chasm.
Xie Jingci stood at the foot of the mountain with her friends, holding a small sweet peach - flavored cake in her hand. Her expensive brocaded clothes protected her from the cold midnight wind like a knife. The moonlight slowly flowed, illuminating a smooth and bright life for her.
Pei Du leaned against an old silent tree on the mountaintop. The stars were cold and clear, reflecting the red blood at the corner of his mouth and the embarrassing scars on his face. On closer inspection, there were also the crushed hopes and self - esteem all over the ground.
He forcefully crushed his loneliness and swallowed it together with his flesh and blood. Then he raised his eyes, his gaze gentle, looking at the unreachable moon in the sky.
Anyway, they were under the same moonlight.
Xie Jingci was silent for a long time.
She should have been happy to receive the attention and admiration of others, but at this moment, her heart was filled with nothing but unbearable bitterness. It tugged at her heart, making her eyes ache and heat up.
Her gaze fell on the portrait Pei Du had drawn of her. There was a faint line of small words written below: [Miss Xie, I'm sorry. Your eyes are very beautiful, but I've drawn them like this.]
He could only talk to her like this, writing stroke by stroke on the paper.
What a fool.
"Pei Du."
Xie Jingci awkwardly put her hands around his neck and looked into the young man's dark eyes.
All shy thoughts vanished. Suddenly, she gave a soft smile: "Actually, my eyes aren't that beautiful - but they are now."
Pei Du was so stupid. If she didn't treat him better, what would he do?
Pei Du was slightly stunned. Before he could figure out the meaning of her words, he heard her continue: "Because compared to before, there's a more beautiful thing in them - do you know what it is?"
His heart began to beat erratically.
There was a flickering light in Miss Xie's pupils. In the ambiguous halo, it was his own shadow that was reflected.
"Are you still willing to be deceived?"
The black qi said, "With her personality, how could she say such sweet words!"
But the young man's eyes were hazy, and he didn't respond to it. Instead, he replied in a trembling voice: "... Me."
Xie Jingci's smile widened: "Then guess who is the most beautiful in my heart?"
This was a series of traps, one after another. The gentle offensive was irresistible.
Pei Du felt her warmth and replied in a daze: "Me."
"Right."
Miss Xie showed a very satisfied smile. Her voice dropped low, full of longing: "Then who do you think... is the person I like the most?"
Pei Du almost melted into a puddle.
The joyful, honey - like emotion swept over him, washing away all the self - loathing, self - inferiority, and fear of losing in his heart.
He took a light breath: "... Me."
"No, your voice is too soft. I didn't hear you clearly."
Xie Jingci clenched her hands and could feel the cold sweat oozing out due to nervousness.
She felt like a goblin seducing a proper scholar.... Well, a goblin it was. Practice makes perfect.
"Look, there's such a long distance between the mouth and the ear. The words have to go around in a roundabout way to get in."
Her hands slowly tightened around his neck. Pei Du's heart was pounding like a drum: "I've heard that only by putting it on another place can the words you want to say reach the heart."
He saw Miss Xie looking up with a smile, her red lips slightly parted, like an alluring hook.
The air around him was as hot as fire. Pei Du bit his lips and lowered his head.
One touch and he was lost.
The soft, extremely gentle touch enveloped him. Just a light touch made his whole body go weak.
The clear smell of wood and the faint fragrance intertwined and devoured each other. The air was filled with a burning heat.
Pei Du carefully touched her, his long eyelashes fluttering slightly as he met Xie Jingci's beautiful pupils.
He said: "Miss Xie... likes me."
"Wrong."
His kiss was reserved and gentle, not as lingering as in the cave. His thin lips gently touched hers, somehow carrying an indescribable allure.
Xie Jingci liked this feeling very much and happily narrowed her eyes: "It needs to be deeper."
Pei Du's breathing became erratic.
He tried his best to hold back the overwhelming shyness in his heart. His face became even hotter. He told her in a hoarse voice, as if also talking to himself: "Miss Xie... likes me the most."
He actually said such words himself.
Pei Du was extremely nervous, praying that this wasn't a ridiculous self - indulgent delusion. In the violently throbbing of his heart, he heard Miss Xie's laugh.
"It needs to be even deeper."
The girl right in front of him reached out and held his face, gently pressing on the red corner of his eye.
Just looking at him like this, Xie Jingci's heart melted instantly.
"To be liked by you is the greatest fortune in my life."
If it were in the past, she would have only thought such words were cheesy.
But facing Pei Du, all the words were out of control, coming straight from her heart to the tip of her tongue. She was eager and excited, just wanting him to hear.
The rapidly beating heart gradually calmed down.
But it was extremely heavy, pounding heavily against her chest, making her whole body's blood boil.
Xie Jingci suppressed her nervousness and said to him in a deep voice: "Admiration is not something to be ashamed of. I'm really, really happy to be liked by you. In fact, what I've done for you doesn't really deserve such love."
That's not true.
Pei Du subconsciously retorted: "Miss Xie, it's me who isn't worthy - "
The rest of the words were sealed in his throat by her soft lips.
"Sorry, I just found out about those things now. You must have had a hard time... If only we had met earlier."
She gently touched the young man's thin lips again and again. There was a soft amber light in her pupils, and her voice was as soft as the wind: "I'll try my best to be worthy of you, Pei Du."
This was her response that was ten years late.
In the chaotic sea of consciousness, the unknown black qi suddenly fell silent.
The night was quiet. Miss Xie gently pressed on his lips, not going deep, just a light touch, but it was so intoxicating.
Pei Du's very heart was trembling. He heard Xie Jingci's whisper again.
"What 'even deeper' means is - "
She said: "Pei Du, I only like you."
