Since Shen Xu's attitude was exceptionally good today, Zhu Qingyu decided to push her luck and test his bottom line. She asked:
"Then how does Lord Shen plan to take care of him, and where are you going to arrange for him to go? You tell me he is still alive and well, but you won't let me see him. How do I know if that's true or false? What if you've actually already killed him?"
Hearing Zhu Qingyu ask this, Shen Xu once again regretted his impulsiveness when he first met her.
If he had spoken kindly back then, listened to her explanation, observed her words and deeds, and figured out what kind of person she really was beforehand, rather than acting recklessly out of his own stereotypes and prejudices, perhaps now the two of them wouldn't have ended up in a situation where every sentence revolved around life and death.
But one cannot predict the future. If he had to do it all over again and meet her for the first time, he might still make the same decision.
Shen Xu decided to give her a promise, serving as a peaceful beginning for the two of them to try and get along.
Although he understood that given his image in her heart, she might not necessarily believe this promise.
Shen Xu said:
"Doctor Zhu, I can tell you the truth today. Zhang Jingyan might die, but he will never die by my hands, because he is the former me."
Zhu Qingyu completely did not understand Shen Xu, so she couldn't comprehend half a word of this sentence, let alone believe a bit of it.
He had said it himself before: the Embroidered Uniform Guard is the blade in the Emperor's hand, and a blade's eyes see no right or wrong. How could a person who cannot even have a sense of right or wrong possibly keep a promise?
And why was Zhang Shen the former him? Was it because Zhang Shen was in the Imperial Prison, and he himself had once been in the Imperial Prison?
That didn't make sense either. There were plenty of people in the Imperial Prison, and he hadn't shown any particular compassion for them. Otherwise, he wouldn't have gained a bad reputation for being cruel and cold-blooded.
Zhu Qingyu wanted to pull her hand out, attempting to ask more clearly:
"Why is he the former you? I don't quite understand. Could you explain it to me more clearly? Lord Shen, if you want me to take care of you and care about you in the future, you have to let me understand you. Otherwise, how would I know what kind of care and concern you want?"
Shen Xu, however, tightened his grip on her hand, not giving her the chance to pull it away.
Her hand was very soft and warm, just like she was as a person.
He couldn't find such softness and warmth anywhere else. Perhaps it existed elsewhere, but he couldn't distinguish it, nor could he be bothered to try.
Since he had encountered it, why should others have it and not him? He wanted it too. He just wanted it.
What the Embroidered Uniform Guard excelled at was force and coercion. That was all he was good at. Other than snatching what others already had, he couldn't think of any other way.
Shen Xu brought her hand next to his cheek, feeling the softness and warmth of her palm. It was as if he had returned to the once lively Shen family where many people loved him. Smiling, he said:
"I used to have a fiancée who also came to the Imperial Prison to see me."
When Shen Xu spoke, Zhu Qingyu remained quiet, looking at him earnestly and listening to his words, no longer attempting to pull her hand away.
If things really reached the final stage, how Zhang Shen would fare in the future and whether he could survive would all be in Shen Xu's hands. Then she had to understand Shen Xu more, just as she had tried to understand Gu Zhao back then.
Shen Xu's cheeks had sharp contours and were somewhat cold, just like his blade.
But staring at him so intently, Zhu Qingyu suddenly noticed that when he smiled, there were actually shallow dimples on his cheeks. These dimples blurred his age and even gave him a somewhat boyish look.
It made sense. Since Shen Xu was the Emperor's study companion, he must be of the same age as the Emperor, probably in his early twenties. He was highly likely younger than her, also a younger brother figure. In that case, when he entered the Imperial Prison, he must have been even younger.
In modern times, at his age, he would still be in college enjoying the best years of his life. But here, following the Emperor's orders every day, his life was filled with fighting and killing.
Under imperial power, sure enough, no one had it easy.
Because of this thought, Zhu Qingyu's eyes and tone softened, and she asked gently:
"And then?"
Shen Xu's tone and smile didn't change, and even the dimples on his cheeks remained. He replied:
"And then, she died."
Zhu Qingyu's expression changed instantly, her face full of shock and apology:
"I'm so sorry, I didn't know. Ah, I really shouldn't have asked you that, I'm truly sorry. Then, so, I understand. You're treating me as her, aren't you? Is it because I look like her?"
Shen Xu originally wanted to tell her: She lied to me, and I killed her with my own hands.
But because Doctor Zhu had so naturally projected a sense of pity towards him, Shen Xu was somewhat reluctant to tell her the truth.
Perhaps, Shen Xu thought to himself, not perhaps, but definitely. Doctor Zhu must have also grown up in a lively place where many people loved her. Otherwise, she wouldn't subconsciously think the best of people, completely unaware that in a place like the Imperial Prison, it was all conspiracy and deceit.
A person like her, no matter who she married, would treat her husband well, wouldn't she?
Even if it wasn't as much as what she gave Zhang Jingyan, even if it was just a little bit, he hadn't received such warm and soft pity for a long time.
Shen Xu let go of her hand and stood up:
"Doctor Zhu, my proposal from last time remains valid until the Emperor sees him. You can think about it carefully again. Give the things to me, I'll take them to him for you. I see you were making clothes, are they for him?"
Because she didn't know when Xie Ze would arrange for someone to come and pick them up, and worried that rushing at the last minute would lead to mistakes, Zhu Qingyu had prepared the things long ago. Besides the thick winter clothes Zhang Shen had previously left at the house, a new set of inner garments had also been made in advance.
Zhu Qingyu went into the inner room and brought out a bundle for him:
"Thank you for your trouble, Lord Shen."
Shen Xu opened it in front of her and said:
"I will take it to him for you, but everything going into the Imperial Prison must be inspected."
Seeing that set of inner garments, which was similar to the one being made at the door, Shen Xu thought of something and laughed again:
"Doctor Zhu, your clothes-making skills are not that great."
Ah, so annoying! It's not like they're made for you. Why do you care if my skills are good or not? What does it have to do with you!
As Zhu Qingyu was frantically complaining in her mind, Shen Xu added:
"Just like hers."
Zhu Qingyu instantly dropped her defenses, her face full of an expression of 'I'm the worst, why did I bring up that topic today,' looking extremely remorseful.
As Shen Xu took the bundle and rode his horse all the way back to the Embroidered Uniform Guard office, he kept thinking of her expression. Thinking about it, he laughed out loud.
How could she be so easy to deceive? He had no idea whether his former fiancée was good at making clothes or not. He only said that to trick her into feeling some pity for him again.
To control her, he couldn't rely on being forceful; he had to rely on showing weakness.
Even though they had only met three times, Shen Xu had already spontaneously grasped the way to get along with Doctor Zhu.
Shen Xu was smiling there, and Xiong Kun, who was waiting for someone outside the east gate of the imperial palace, was so shocked that it was as if he had seen a ghost in broad daylight.
Heavens, where did Lord Shen, the Commander of the Embroidered Uniform Guard, just return from wiping out someone's entire family, to be this happy?
Xiong Kun saw Shen Xu, and naturally, Shen Xu saw him as well.
Recognizing him as Gu Zhao's subordinate and figuring he might have urgent business with Gu Zhao, Shen Xu halted his horse and asked,
"Waiting for Gu Zhao? He won't be off duty for another few hours. Do you have some kind of emergency?"
It was a rare day indeed for Lord Shen to be so helpful and do a good deed. Since the matter truly was pressing, Xiong Kun hurriedly pulled out a letter sealed with wax.
"It is an emergency. This was sent via urgent express from Shu. His Lordship has been reminding me repeatedly these past few days to deliver this letter the moment it arrives. However, I am unable to enter the palace. Could I trouble you, Lord Shen, to pass this on to His Lordship?"
